Rants Back at Craig

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I don't know, Craig. Perhaps you're too old now to appreciate a classic film like Star Wars. It just passed you by. The second one's better anyway. But now I feel the need to rant. This is a rant page after all. It's this whole widescreen TV business. Why do people buy them? They are totally crap. You have a number of different screen modes (all rubbish). Either you view it as normal, but lose the top and bottom of the screen, or you view it as normal with black strips on either side of the picture, or you view it in squashovision where everyone on the screen looks as if they're built like a brick shit house. If anyone out there is thinking of buying a widescreen TV, then don't. Buy a normal TV instead.
Mark
Sensible Scotland - Monday, July 16, 2001 at 00:41:47 (BST)
Star Wars again!!! Is that a hint that you want Empire and Jedi then? I'll see what I can do... how does a copy on CD sound. I'd send you one of my copies but I've only got 5, so no spares...
plant
uk - Monday, July 16, 2001 at 00:09:33 (BST)
But it's an easy one anyway that I told you years ago!!
Jacqui
UK - Sunday, July 15, 2001 at 22:12:15 (BST)
What animal changes length throughout the day... That'll be me beast if I give it a stroke - Aiiii. (Crap Ali G joke... sorry)
plant
uk - Sunday, July 15, 2001 at 16:49:41 (BST)
Camp men who are not gay are delicious.
green fairy dot com
London - Sunday, July 15, 2001 at 16:14:10 (BST)
wait a minute, i just remembered something - I was told Jeremy Spade or whatever the gay guy from airport is NOT GAY. Surely thats impossible. Its would take quite some evidence for me to even accept the possibility that was true.
craigix
- Sunday, July 15, 2001 at 14:21:48 (BST)
Damn you kids. We need a forum full of fools for these mind games. So some really good ones that are too surFISTicated for us. FISTING! Julian Clairy. Hes finished now.
craigix
- Sunday, July 15, 2001 at 14:17:43 (BST)
What animal changes length throughout the day?
BattleM@n
UK - Sunday, July 15, 2001 at 14:16:52 (BST)
I'll have the broken clock - at least it's right twice a day.
plant
uk - Saturday, July 14, 2001 at 21:54:04 (BST)
OK, I have 2 clocks, one is broken and the other loses a minute every day - which do you want and why? (Jacqui, you are not allowed to answer this one ;)
craig
- Saturday, July 14, 2001 at 20:56:03 (BST)
He's on a Monopoly board.
green fairy dot com
London - Saturday, July 14, 2001 at 15:21:08 (BST)
I got a purple gba too!
Jacqui
UK - Saturday, July 14, 2001 at 12:45:37 (BST)
I agree with you Craig. Wide screen TVs are crap. Anyway, here's an easy one: A man stops his car outside a hotel and pays his friend £250. What's going on?
Mark
Silvery Scotland - Saturday, July 14, 2001 at 01:04:33 (BST)
I like handsome guys to ride my 9.5" cock.
sizeit@hotmail.com
UK - Friday, July 13, 2001 at 20:44:48 (BST)
Yes! I finally got my GBA today (nice solid purple one, oo-er)... so come on Craig, what do I need now to get playing Speccy games on it?
plant
uk - Friday, July 13, 2001 at 18:50:34 (BST)
Are you a thermometer?
plant
uk - Friday, July 13, 2001 at 18:48:49 (BST)
OK. You will not get this one...... The higher I climb, the hotter I engage, I can not escape my crystal cage. What am I?
Lisa M
- Friday, July 13, 2001 at 13:48:48 (BST)
can u send any games to a friend?
guess who?
united kingdom - Friday, July 13, 2001 at 09:36:51 (BST)
I have both a spiral staircase and a sore ass!
BattleM@n
UK - Friday, July 13, 2001 at 09:21:47 (BST)
I like ladys in tight blue jeans. Its a fetish that can be praticed anywhere,and isnt taboo.
moog
unamed planet - Friday, July 13, 2001 at 07:09:21 (BST)
My girlfriend takes it up the arse and she aint gay.. does that count?
Fat Uncle Mark
England - Friday, July 13, 2001 at 01:11:21 (BST)
I ain't one of those spiral weirdos.
ARMPIT
Wales - Thursday, July 12, 2001 at 16:46:37 (BST)
I don't understand? You have taken it up the arse. Or, you have a spiral staircase? Eh?
Lisa M
- Thursday, July 12, 2001 at 12:34:55 (BST)
Yes. :( I thought that was a hard one!
Lisa M
- Thursday, July 12, 2001 at 12:33:53 (BST)
A telephone.
green fairy dot com
London - Thursday, July 12, 2001 at 12:04:43 (BST)
A telephone.
green fairy dot com
London - Thursday, July 12, 2001 at 12:04:43 (BST)
I have, and I'm not gay. Jamie Oliver has a spiral staircase. Are you Jamie Oliver?
ARMPIT
Wales - Wednesday, July 11, 2001 at 23:32:37 (BST)
You gotta get self-assembly stuff in terms of wardrobes, etc. The only way to get beds up is to buy the 2 piece stuff and then 'slot' them together. Anything that's a weird shape (really long & wide for example) has to be hoisted up and thru a bedroom window (Thank God for big windows or it'd be hell).
BattleM@n
UK - Wednesday, July 11, 2001 at 23:15:30 (BST)
And while i'm here B@ttleman how did you get all you shit up the spiral staircase, your beds and stuff?
craig
- Wednesday, July 11, 2001 at 20:53:14 (BST)
In Greese... Greece... the country not the film. Anyway, I hear your only gay if you TAKE it up the ass. Is this true?
craaigg
Fly me to the stars away from the factorys and cars. - Wednesday, July 11, 2001 at 20:47:19 (BST)
surley thats the point ?? the bear what colour is it who knows and more importantly who gives a flying fourway fuck
confused
krypton - Wednesday, July 11, 2001 at 17:38:18 (BST)
Elephant sine theta. OK, here's a harder one....... What demands an answer, but asks no question?
Lisa M
- Wednesday, July 11, 2001 at 15:33:22 (BST)
He did ask it right, and the bear is at the noth pole. By the way, what do you get if you cross an elephant with a banana?
ARMPIT
Wales - Wednesday, July 11, 2001 at 14:11:08 (BST)
What has happened to this page....???? Craig?.
Lisa M
- Wednesday, July 11, 2001 at 11:31:11 (BST)
I don't think you asked that correctly..... Shouldn't there be something to indicate that the hunter is at the South pole and the bear is therefore white? A hunter can walk south then north is any place around the world.... Ummmm.
Lisa M
- Wednesday, July 11, 2001 at 11:30:05 (BST)
Here's an easy one for you... A bear hunter leaves his camp and walks a mile south. He sees a bear and chases it a mile east, but the bear escapes. He then walks and mile north back to his camp. What colour was the bear?
plant
uk - Wednesday, July 11, 2001 at 07:35:34 (BST)
Ahaha Lisa, whos fast now. You were riddled good.

- Wednesday, July 11, 2001 at 02:39:02 (BST)
I've got a spiral staircase :) They are bloody awkward mind - you can't get anything bigger than a bookcase upstairs. Ooh yeah, the guy is claustrophobic and is in an airplane; well done all those that got it right. Hmm - I'll have to try and remember a more difficult one for later this week...
BattleM@n
UK - Tuesday, July 10, 2001 at 21:22:05 (BST)
hhhmmm, trying carrying a wardrobe up a spiral staircase. How do those people do it?
Russell
UK - Tuesday, July 10, 2001 at 21:14:12 (BST)
Is it the moon?
plant
uk - Tuesday, July 10, 2001 at 18:48:44 (BST)
Ah Ah Ah! I'm not from the USA! Whats going on!!!!
Lisa M
- Tuesday, July 10, 2001 at 15:44:47 (BST)
RIDDLE: My turn. Always old, sometimes new, never sad, sometimes blue. Never empty, sometimes full, never pushes, always pulls. What am I?
Lisa M
USA - Tuesday, July 10, 2001 at 15:43:42 (BST)
About is spelt with a 't' and not an 'r' ;-)
L
- Tuesday, July 10, 2001 at 14:58:35 (BST)
Craig. It's Spelt "Abbott and Costello". 2 bs and 2 ts :)
Anyhoo. As you are a c programmer. Do you know much abour bubble sort? Insertion sort and shell sort? Ingenious bit of code I have just learned.
I have been accepted to University!! BSC with honours doing software engineering. Get 48 weeks work placemement too. Looks rock solid, but I'll give it a bash.
I have to learn UML over the summer.
Russell
UK - Tuesday, July 10, 2001 at 14:26:12 (BST)
Yes.
Lisa M
- Tuesday, July 10, 2001 at 10:47:10 (BST)
Fuck your fast.
craig
- Tuesday, July 10, 2001 at 01:34:43 (BST)
Poor fishy.
Lisa
- Monday, July 09, 2001 at 23:04:45 (BST)
They are fun, even if no one has caught us out yet. Craig has a try again... this one might not work written out... it didn't. Doh. lets try again. Guy walks into his house - its flooded - glass everywhere and a huge rock on the floor. Then he sees the body. Whos been killed?

- Monday, July 09, 2001 at 22:38:07 (BST)
I like these riddles!!
Jacqui
UK - Monday, July 09, 2001 at 11:39:16 (BST)
He's on a plane!!!
Jacqui
UK - Monday, July 09, 2001 at 11:38:57 (BST)
He's in space? Or in a sub? Or travelling thro' a dodgy part of Newcastle in a series 5 BMW?
Lisa
- Monday, July 09, 2001 at 11:35:54 (BST)
Don't feel too bad mark - I'm rather obsessive about these things :) - A quicky for ya': Bill is desperate to open a window even though he knows it will kill him if he does - what's goin' on?
BattleM@n
UK - Monday, July 09, 2001 at 04:36:00 (BST)
We need the riddler in here. Riddle me this. No... hang on.. he was shit.
craig
- Monday, July 09, 2001 at 02:18:43 (BST)
Damnation! Yes, it's a coffin. I guess that was too easy.
Mark
Smarting Scotland - Monday, July 09, 2001 at 00:39:21 (BST)
A Coffin? Maybe Life insurance?
BattleM@n
UK - Sunday, July 08, 2001 at 20:51:07 (BST)
Note: Ian Curtis is dead too. Anyway, here's a tricky little question for you all: The man who makes it doesn't need one. The man who buys it doesn't use it. The man who uses it never sees it. What is it?
Mark
Smug Scotland - Sunday, July 08, 2001 at 14:48:56 (BST)
What ever happened to ebola. That was big in the mid 90s walk down a street in africa and all the cool kids had it.
jimmy
uk - Sunday, July 08, 2001 at 13:53:45 (BST)
yeah. need to get my ass into gear on that.
cragside
- Sunday, July 08, 2001 at 01:19:55 (BST)
craig i dont know if you realise, but your link to c64 stuff at the top of the page is still down.
tone capone
uk - Saturday, July 07, 2001 at 16:10:15 (BST)
Craig: You got the TV connection working? R U using ATI all-in-one wonder? That card IS the bollocks!!! Connected my Video camera to it. I got the media studio pro software. Fucking awesome.
My mates thing my vids of Jet set willy 2 are boring for some reason ;)
Russell
UK - Saturday, July 07, 2001 at 04:58:16 (BST)
It will... GBA you need a flash cart really. hang about i'm getting some next week.
craig
- Saturday, July 07, 2001 at 00:33:31 (BST)
Jacqui: You're gonna need a good hacksaw and some superglue. I used to have a monkeypit, but the RSPCA made me close it down.
ARMPIT
Wales - Friday, July 06, 2001 at 23:37:22 (BST)
WHY isn't picture of the day going yet grrrrrrrr
Jacqui
UK - Friday, July 06, 2001 at 18:25:23 (BST)
WHY isn't picture of the day going yet grrrrrrrr
Jacqui
UK - Friday, July 06, 2001 at 18:24:16 (BST)
I have a GBA now so how do I put nes games onto it????
Jacqui
UK - Friday, July 06, 2001 at 16:17:00 (BST)
Gaaaarrrrggghhh!! Everyone prounces my name as Russss. Don't you start Rothwell!
Russell
UK - Friday, July 06, 2001 at 04:07:59 (BST)
I noticed that the new one off brasseye special was pulled at the last minute - possible cuts methinks!
BattleM@n
UK - Friday, July 06, 2001 at 00:11:38 (BST)
Have you noticed that you can now buy beer cans without a widget?
Sausage
Germany - Thursday, July 05, 2001 at 23:24:32 (BST)
Craig, Craig, Craig.
have you heard this yet??
http://www.comingsoon.net/cgi-bin/archive/fullnews.cgi?newsid994045635,87368,
Russell
UK - Thursday, July 05, 2001 at 00:48:39 (BST)
I hate everything and everybody. Even you. Seriously readers, I only gloat over the webpages that fail. Especially certain over hyped ones. I link to the ones I like. Anyway everyweb site is a piece of shit in its own way. And that car, the bastard 5 series money pit. I saved long and hard to get that working down the mines, real work and all - not this website stuff, I don't believe in computers me.
craig
- Wednesday, July 04, 2001 at 19:59:47 (BST)
Craig, there is a consitent tone in your thoughts on the main page that you seem to be be very jealous of other site's successes.
Do you want all otghers to fail and yourself only to succeed? I realise you gloat about big IT companies going down the market.
Your motives would interest me. You said you hate those people who drive Mercedes, but you gloat about your BMW...
Craig's conscious
somewhere, nowhere, everywhere - Wednesday, July 04, 2001 at 19:48:49 (BST)
aw! I loves The Web Review I do. That lady is gorgeous. Have you seen the way she looks at the camera? Hot-diggity. I bet Mr. Buck Tooth could not satisfy her in the way that I could.
ARMPIT
Wales - Wednesday, July 04, 2001 at 12:36:37 (BST)
...think i'm gonna get one of those speccy/nes emulators, i mean GBA's...
mat
bristol - Wednesday, July 04, 2001 at 00:53:51 (BST)
Heh heh, Bottlem@n
ARMPIT
Wales - Wednesday, July 04, 2001 at 00:35:44 (BST)
yeah you can put all the emus on one cart. Pretty cool. I'll get some more GBAX's in actually, keep getting emails asking for them.
craig
- Wednesday, July 04, 2001 at 00:20:52 (BST)
For All those brasseye cuts in full : http://mudhole.spodnet.uk.com/~frogger/corpses/site/editnews/brasseye.html
BattleM@n
UK - Tuesday, July 03, 2001 at 21:02:03 (BST)
Oh yeah, the 'Grade Is A Cunt' flash-frame had to go because sublliminal messages like that are actually illegal (rather than just being against broadcasting guidelines). Quick question for Craig - if I get a GBA exchanger thing, could I put both the NES *and* Speccy emus on a cartridge and have a nice variety of old-skool to gawp at?
boki
- Tuesday, July 03, 2001 at 19:31:06 (BST)
Here's a quick 'joke' for daytime E4 viewers of Big Brother: A man walks into a ................................................................................................................................................... walrus with a ................................................................................................................................................. sandwich"! HA HA HA HA HA!
BattleM@n
UK - Tuesday, July 03, 2001 at 03:39:07 (BST)
The subliminal message in the last Brasseye episode was removed (well I can't find it). It basically said that the head of CH4 (who posponed the episode due to pressure from wankers like Noel 'where are ya now' Edmunds) was a cunt. Yeah, we are really lucky to see it again. I nearly missed it 'cause I forgot to get this weeks TV guide.
BattleM@n
UK - Tuesday, July 03, 2001 at 03:36:41 (BST)
One of the interviews from the 'Sex' episode was missing (can't remember which) from Brass Eye. There was, however, quite a bit of footage reinstated which was cut from the original broadcast, the most notorious of which would have to be the Sutcliffe musical bit.
boki
- Monday, July 02, 2001 at 20:35:12 (BST)
AARRGGHHHhhhhhhhh!!!! Bottled water, i hate it. I remember when bottled water first appeared on the shelves and i thought "how odd". I do, however, buy bottled water sometimes as H2o is the best things to quench ones thirst. The thing that has really annoyed me is seeing a TV commercial advertising 'Evian' - I KNOW WHAT BLOODY WATER IS AND ONLY A COMPLETE FUCK-HEAD WOULD MAKE A CONSCIOUS DECISION ON WHAT 'BRAND' TO BUY....wankers.
mat
bristol - Monday, July 02, 2001 at 18:41:14 (BST)
Just to remind you all frankie is online at www.madfrankiefrasier.com or something. He still thinks hes running the west end, bless him.
craig
- Monday, July 02, 2001 at 03:01:08 (BST)
Now 'The Morris' - he's a dude. I duno about the Krays but Morris did interview 'Mad' Frankie Frasier and that was HILARIOUS - Chris made him look like the twat he really is. I DID have them all on video but lent them to some git in Bristol and never saw it again...bloody typical.
mat
bristol - Sunday, July 01, 2001 at 23:40:02 (BST)
Which bit of Brasseye do you think might have been cut out? I think we're probably lucky to have them repeated at all, 'cos I never thought they would. Is it true for one of the episodes he interviewed one of the Krays, but got... er, 'asked nicely' by one of their 'connections' not to show him looking stupid?
plant
uk - Sunday, July 01, 2001 at 11:24:18 (BST)
What a great site, keep up the good work.
Phil Case
England - Sunday, July 01, 2001 at 10:55:05 (BST)
Thank you george. Close Craigy babes - He's actually a radio presenter. It was great seeing (& Recording) Brasseye again - I'm sure that at least one bit was cut. Don't miss the one off special (& the repeats again) starting at 10.20pm on Channel 4 this Thursday. I'm currently on my sister's laptop and Christ it's cool! I Gotta be getting myself one of these!!!!
BattleM@n
UK - Sunday, July 01, 2001 at 01:10:33 (BST)
fuck u
george coke
alabama - Saturday, June 30, 2001 at 21:28:55 (BST)
I think your mind thing has won this time, come on then... what was the guys job? Newsreader?
craig
- Saturday, June 30, 2001 at 19:12:29 (BST)
Brasseye - E4 all night :)
BattleM@n
UK - Saturday, June 30, 2001 at 17:28:34 (BST)
Another mindteaser for you: Bill is comming to the end of his four hour morning shift at work. He decides that he'll phone up Ben and ask if he'd like to go to lunch with him. Ben says yes and starts to get ready, but litterally moments before leaving the house he knows that Bill cannot make it. As Bill is working nearly 20 miles away and Ben isn't Psychic - how did he know that Ben couldn't make it for dinner? Answer soon...Oh, does anyone want to 'hear' the longest most boring joke in the world ever?
BattleM@n
UK - Friday, June 29, 2001 at 02:24:08 (BST)
Surely he can't be as bad as those two camp robots? Half expected the tall one to say 'i'm free'

- Thursday, June 28, 2001 at 18:19:29 (BST)
Jar Jar Binks? Ewoks? Yeah, more Star Wars references!!! Er, actually... Jar Jar Binks? Maybe not...
plant
uk - Thursday, June 28, 2001 at 15:24:41 (BST)
Well if i need a new phone, its obvious which one i'll be getting :D
craig
- Wednesday, June 27, 2001 at 20:38:52 (BST)
I remember watches that transformed but not watches that were obviously endorsed by Mattel or who ever made Transformers - Robots in Disguise. AND AND i almost bought a GBA earlier today then thought about the phone thing and just couldn't make up my mind then gave up...
mat
bristol - Wednesday, June 27, 2001 at 20:16:01 (BST)
PS: Interactive services are cack with NTL anyway. Takes too long to download and I have better things to do than answer some sodding questions on the TV.
Russell
UK - Wednesday, June 27, 2001 at 18:00:37 (BST)
NTL are a bunch of cunts. I'm going back to BT. I also got the free Internet software thing from NTL - I NEVER ONCE managed to log in!! useless, cack, shit.
Great news about playing speccy on the ol' mobile there. Maybe there should be a mobile included with the gameboy advance?
Mobiles are so fucking small now that they are the same size as my old transformers watch (remember them from school?)
Russell
UK - Wednesday, June 27, 2001 at 17:59:29 (BST)
I dont know about Telewest,but godamned useless NTL STILL,after 7 months of being promised interative services, havent introduced it to my area.Useless bunch of c--ts.
Media Prawn
timbucktoo - Wednesday, June 27, 2001 at 11:53:20 (BST)
It is true about Amstrad putting a speccy emulator on a phone/the new version of the emailer, Amstrad own the spectrum brand name and have been contacting authors/publishers of old speccy games and securing the exclusive handheld rights to them.. They have a HUGE catalogue of games already on their books. Mobiles will have the games built in but to download them onto the emailer will cost about 50p or so, they will then be stored on a smartcard similar to the ones found in digital cameras.. Trust me..
Dumbfounded.
AMSTRAD PLC - Wednesday, June 27, 2001 at 09:39:21 (BST)
re: Speccy on a phone. Brilliant idea but i reckon it's an untruth. Could be true as no games development would be neccasary. Probs false as who would 'honestly' stick a spectrum into a phone? Alan Sugar, maybe.
mat
bristol - Wednesday, June 27, 2001 at 08:54:44 (BST)
Someone wanted to know if there were any more speccy emulators on the psx. Take a look at my site www.doubledutchdesigns.co.uk - here is a full speed speccy emulator WITH sound!!! There are diy keyboard instructions too!
Double Dutch
UK - Wednesday, June 27, 2001 at 03:24:28 (BST)
Further down this page... oh.. thats right... I DELETED YOUR POST. Try www.google.com. or the GBA romz newsgroup i'm sure will exist.
craigix
- Wednesday, June 27, 2001 at 00:48:11 (BST)
Does anybody know where I can find a Game Boy Advance WAREZ site? I've been looking for ages, but can't seem to be able to find any.
AssMonsta
UK - Tuesday, June 26, 2001 at 23:51:39 (BST)
My mother had loads of problems with them, but when she did talk to someone in charge they sent her a letter saying they were very very sorry and also gave her back the line rental, phone call costs and internet subscription to make up.
craig
- Tuesday, June 26, 2001 at 23:40:48 (BST)
Hardi Har! When I moved out of Bristol I left owing Telewest £95. That was three years ago. They'll never catch me now!
MR ANONYMOUS
Wales - Tuesday, June 26, 2001 at 22:15:30 (BST)
Ooooh, FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! Let's go beat up the people at telewest :) GREAT NEWS about the speccy - finally a decent batch of games will be comming out! So c'mon craig tell us about your day - if you do I'll tell you about mine (which includes delights such as 'how I nearly died doing 65 on the motorway' and 'how to fail an MCSE exam in less than two hours'!). I had two great ideas for the next series of Big Bro and the voting in thinggy was one of them! The other involved removing all the chairs and challenging the housemates to assemble flat-pack stuff. That'd be fucking hallarious to watch!!!
BattleM@n
UK - Tuesday, June 26, 2001 at 18:29:51 (BST)
For the most part, when their service is working, and you don't need Customer Services Telewest are fine. However if you actually need Customer Services well .... ... let me tell you a tale of wow!!!! A few months ago I had TW's Blueyonder service connected and as a result I cancelled a second telephone line since it was nolonger needed for internet access. The upshot was that Telewest, without informing me, cancelled the Direct Debit that paid for the telephone and the bills went unpaid for a couple of months un-noticed. Eventually they restricted the telephone service to incoming calls only (at which point we noticed and connected Customer Services). After several days of arguing TW admitted they were in error, and in an unusual gesture of understanding offered to take the outstanding £175 (approx) bill in installments, by adding £45 per month onto the bill. All were happy TW were going to get their money, and I could begin to reduce my blood pressure again, until that was the bank phoned to confirm the amount requested in the next DD (The full amount in one go!!!) I was back into rant mode, and after several phonecalls to Customer Services who couldn't handle the query (and would have to pass it onto another dept.) I eventually informed TW accounts dept that the DD was going to be refused, and that should they bill the appropriate amount as previously agreed that the bank would be happy to pay it. Last thursday, I received a letter from Telewest informing me that the DD had been refused 'refer to drawer', that the DD had been cancelled and that I would be charged £10 for administration. I was furious, again I phoned customer services who would pass it on to the appropriate department (spot the system at work here!) and that they would get back in touch with me. By Friday evening I hadn't heard anything, and so I called again, and was told that it would likely be Tuesday (today) before I heard anything .... Well today, THEY HAVE CUT THE PHONE OFF AGAIN!!!! And now I am waiting to hear back from them!!!!! In my opinion, Telewest are the biggest bunch of incompetent, dim witted so and so's I have EVER had the misfortune of dealing with!!!!!! If you value Customer Service then go somewhere else!!!
Nick
UK - Tuesday, June 26, 2001 at 18:00:43 (BST)
I've made this page smaller again, moved old posts to the other page, however the other page is almost half a meg in size now. I really need to write a perl script to manage this better. Back to the tennis. Or in my case work.
CRAIGOBOT
- Tuesday, June 26, 2001 at 15:31:27 (BST)
No. wait. that should have read 'its amazing what you will do when you need the money'.

- Tuesday, June 26, 2001 at 00:25:42 (BST)
Paul Hogan made Crocidile Dundee 3. There is always hope.
craig
- Tuesday, June 26, 2001 at 00:23:37 (BST)
Just thought you'd all like to know, as Editor of Total Game Boy Magazine, I've interviewed Philip Oliver many a time, and a Dizzy game was made for the old monochrome Gameboy, but was never quite finished off, or indeed, released. It sits gathering dust in one of Codemasters many cavernous cupboards, never ever to see the light of day. What so many people on these Dizzy sites don't seem to understand is that there will never be another official Dizzy game - EVER! The best computer game character ever is dead.

I know both the Codemasters folk and the Oliver Twins' positions perfectly, and they'll never agree to bring out another game. Codemasters HATE Dizzy, and everything about the puzzly genre that made them so rich in the early nineties. They just make rather rubbish Simulator type games now. Oliver Twins run the rather successful Blitz games, which created Chicken RUn and Frogger 2 titles.

The two sides occassionally communicate, but the Oliver Twins have abandoned any hope or intention of reviving Dizzy. Neither side will ever let a new game (or indeed any of the never-released games) see the light of day.

Abandon every last scrap of hope.

Jem
Jem
gameboy mag - Monday, June 25, 2001 at 17:14:36 (BST)
Plenty of Gameboy advance ROMs to keep you happy.

http:// DO NOT POST WAREZ LINKS ON MY PAGE. I'm quite sure people who want warez can find them.

EDITED BY CRAIGOBOT.
Cheers.
The Saviour.
The saviour
Heaven - Monday, June 25, 2001 at 16:31:02 (BST)
Oh come now, the orginal 'Shining' was shit too....
green fairy dot com
UK - Monday, June 25, 2001 at 13:50:34 (BST)
crrrraig man, where are you? psshhh
GRAIL
- Monday, June 25, 2001 at 01:58:07 (BST)
Trust me, me being a GBA programmer and all, its better than the snes. Oh, and I noticed you all noticed sexoogle is back. Lot of hits.
craigixx
- Sunday, June 24, 2001 at 23:08:46 (BST)
I got my Gameboy Advance on Friday. I'm kinda impressed & depressed at the same time. I'm impressed by the technology - who wouldn't want an SNES in the palm of their hands. I'd depressed 'cause it seems that all we're getting IS an SNES in the palm of our hands. Still, mario is always a giggle...
BattleM@n
UK - Sunday, June 24, 2001 at 22:58:44 (BST)
s club 7 are sh*te anyway if there on drugs or not if u ask me! god some people really need to find out wot good music is... luv ya all :o) xxx
Leah
Cradley Heath - Sunday, June 24, 2001 at 21:00:27 (BST)
www.sexoogle.com is back. Archive is small though. Only about 25,000pic locations. Should be upto 100,000+ in the week. Am also testing some new search by date features etc.

- Sunday, June 24, 2001 at 02:04:42 (BST)
Don't worry everyone, sexoogle the only REAL free porn site will be back up tonight.
craig
- Saturday, June 23, 2001 at 18:14:34 (BST)
http://www.mycbsite.com/adultsonly/ Visit this Site truely xxxxxxx
Fish
UK - Saturday, June 23, 2001 at 00:57:38 (BST)
You are right - it was daytime. Other murders get less time in prison - They've done their time like it or not!
BattleM@n
UK - Friday, June 22, 2001 at 19:23:53 (BST)
Yeah, so your parents better encourage people to hunt them down and kill them too. Right? Two wrongs make a right and all. No... wait...
craaaigixy
- Friday, June 22, 2001 at 17:58:59 (BST)
Today I have found my life was only worth 8 years in a juvenile detention center for the men who killed me.
Jamie Bulger
UK - Friday, June 22, 2001 at 15:57:36 (BST)
Do you mean that he was pissed and the cat did not exist, but was figment of imagination? Or maybe none of us exist, and therefore, a man cannot exist to run over a none exisitant cat. I do not exist, therefore I am not writing this......
Lisa M
- Friday, June 22, 2001 at 09:43:40 (BST)
Eh? Wha? Who is this "Craig Rothwell"?
ARMPIT
Wales - Friday, June 22, 2001 at 02:01:06 (BST)
It could be that it isn't dark it could be that it's an empty road so it doesn't mean that cat walks into that road!! Or the fact that if the cat is in the middle of the road damn he swerved to hit but missed it anyway!
Jacqui
UK - Thursday, June 21, 2001 at 20:45:09 (BST)
What do u get if you cross an elephant with a banana?
Lisa M
- Thursday, June 21, 2001 at 11:36:00 (BST)
It was not dark?
craigix
- Thursday, June 21, 2001 at 03:00:06 (BST)
Yeah - you're right; they're not playing each other! OK - another one then: A Man is driving home from a christmas party. He's a little bit pissed and has forgotten to turn the headlights on. He starts to drive down an empty country lane when all of a sudden a cat runs into the middle of the road. Magically, even with no street lighting, the man manages to swerve to avoid it. How?
BattleM@n
UK - Thursday, June 21, 2001 at 01:03:45 (BST)
BASTARDS.
craig
- Wednesday, June 20, 2001 at 20:24:30 (BST)
ok come on lets try a little harder hes a dwarf he cant reach the 24th or whatever button
h
W/A - Wednesday, June 20, 2001 at 19:21:38 (BST)
OK i've got one for you, that i just made up:
Jimmy lives on the 24th floor of a highrise tower block, everyday on his return home from work he gets in the lift but only goes to the 12th floor - then he gets out the lift and takes the stairs the rest of the way. Why?
craigo
- Wednesday, June 20, 2001 at 19:11:02 (BST)
Battlem@n. Piece of piss man, basically you say jack and jill are playing chess, but you dont say they are playing iwth each other. They win 3 games each but only play five game.. So they beat their own opponents 3 times and lost to them twice... Go Marky, Go Marky... I've got shitloads of those I could fuck you about with.
Fat Uncle Mark
- Wednesday, June 20, 2001 at 09:01:16 (BST)
I am disheartened by the Zak news.
Screech
Good old U S of A - Wednesday, June 20, 2001 at 01:12:17 (BST)
You should all be watching Lexx.

- Wednesday, June 20, 2001 at 00:32:53 (BST)
Did anyone see that 'Living without Designer Labels' thing on C4 tonight. God, I wanted to punch that whole fucking family. Arrogant, pretentious BASTARDS. What? Supermarket own brand food? And we're supposed to EAT this? Twats.
plant
uk - Tuesday, June 19, 2001 at 23:26:53 (BST)
yeah, it's 'cos they're not playing each other.
plant
uk - Tuesday, June 19, 2001 at 21:02:22 (BST)
Is it cause Jack and Jill are on the same team?
Jacqui
UK - Tuesday, June 19, 2001 at 16:49:39 (BST)
Dwee da bo da do bo. Shit - how did they both die? Heavy Man (sorry - watched The Young Ones last night)! Does anyone know if Mr T. is still alive, as last I heard he was fighting cancer. Anyway, here's the first mindteaser for ya: Jack & Jill are playing chess. They play 5 games yet both Jack & Jill win 3 times - how can that be? I'll tell you how next week sometime!
BattleM@n
UK - Tuesday, June 19, 2001 at 13:51:03 (BST)
Good evening spec-chums. Today I got paid for the first time in months. Today I made the decision to buy a World of Spectrum CD. Good evening.
ARMPIT
Wales - Monday, June 18, 2001 at 22:53:49 (BST)
Such a shame mario advance is shit.
craig
- Monday, June 18, 2001 at 22:27:03 (BST)
Wahey - got my GBA and Mario Advance from Lik-Sang this morning! Ahead of UK release and cheaper including the cost of FedEx shipping (I understand the unit's going to retail for £90 and the game for £40 over here, so I've saved just over ten quid). Is it me or does Mario look a bit like he's having a crafty tug on the Mario Advance game box?
boki
- Monday, June 18, 2001 at 22:20:57 (BST)
Yeah send me your mind things or post them here and i'll put them on the main page.
craig
- Monday, June 18, 2001 at 15:39:47 (BST)
No offence or anything craig - but at the rate you see dead bodies I hope that I never meet up with ya! Erm... Don't get that whole where's lucky thing (www.whereslucky.com). Apparently all will be revealled later today. *YAWN* - Sooo tired lately. Anyone interested in playing a mind teaser kind of game - I ask a question each week and then post the answer a few days later?
BattleM@n
UK - Monday, June 18, 2001 at 01:46:38 (BST)
I like the Fosters one, with the earthquake! And what was about the weird advert showing a poster of a lost dog called Lucky. Was I missing soemthing!!!!
Lisa M the Sex Kitten
- Monday, June 18, 2001 at 00:52:04 (BST)
Noooooooo!! That Hovis advert is crap. Crap crap crap. And shit too.
plant
uk - Monday, June 18, 2001 at 00:50:04 (BST)
Why is spiteful woman so horrible to nice guy DIY Brian? Why would anybody want to use any service that she thinks is good? God damn BITCH.
ARMPIT
Wales - Sunday, June 17, 2001 at 23:34:45 (BST)
Ohhh I love a man who is going down ;o)
Jacqui
UK - Sunday, June 17, 2001 at 15:22:12 (BST)
Weird Dreams eh.... I had one where i was on a farm and the farme had a snake inside a cage which was in a small barn, he told me to always keep the door closed so as the cat wouldn't get in, but, i left it open and the cat got in..... i went after it to get it out, when i went in i saw the snake had hold of the cat through the cage so i grabbe the cat by the scruff of the neck and pulled it, until i woke up to screams from my misses, i'd pulled her half across the bed by her hair..... she didn't buy the cat and snake story, but it was true.
Sweeeeeev <ibonkedurbird@myhouse.com>
Hungover, bad Ecosse - Sunday, June 17, 2001 at 14:51:15 (BST)
aaaahh you're going dowwwwwwwwwwwn baby
GRAIL
- Sunday, June 17, 2001 at 03:11:57 (BST)
A telethon? I used to know someone who ran some 0891 numbers, he was rich, like stupidly rich. Always liked the idea of trying that, until i saw you have to put about 3k up front.
craigix
- Saturday, June 16, 2001 at 18:11:52 (BST)
hey craig, just had an idea... and whaaaattaaannniiddeeeeaaaa it is! You should have like a ummm whad'youcallit.... like a ummmmm collection thing on your site.... like donations.... like 'the phone lines are now open' style thing....... to save your sorry ass from going under.
GRAIL
- Saturday, June 16, 2001 at 12:27:32 (BST)
You bet is still on the air isn't it? I thought Divina Macall hosted it now? Well a program very similar. Also, why is divinas show called 'Sams Game'? Surely it should be 'Divina' - the americans would not have it any other way.
craigix
- Saturday, June 16, 2001 at 02:21:00 (BST)
do you kids remember 'You Bet'? Loved that show. They should bring it back... it's only a game sooooo put up a real good fight.
GRAIL
- Friday, June 15, 2001 at 18:41:07 (BST)
Today I am feeling (very) lethargic
Steady Eddie
Yorks - Thursday, June 14, 2001 at 19:45:13 (BST)
If Eschelon is scanning this.... F&$K Y&U!
Hairy Rimmed Bottom And The Four Foot Fish Fryer.
East China Sea - Thursday, June 14, 2001 at 15:00:49 (BST)
What's so strange about an orgasm in Cuntdown? When you take four from the bottom as often as I do, it becomes a regular experience. Mind you, I prefer it when the contestants finger the cuntstanants, because the bowels are becoming a bit rough round the edges.
Carol Vordermann
On the set of some crappy DIY program - Thursday, June 14, 2001 at 00:41:12 (BST)
The next tory Leader will be name you have never heard of. Hague wasn't exactly a well known Tory B4 hand was he. Who would be mad enough to lead a dead party anyway?


Winer Milly
Eugene's lair - Wednesday, June 13, 2001 at 21:13:01 (BST)
I never see the celestual wonders.
craig
- Wednesday, June 13, 2001 at 17:03:35 (BST)
Why were you skeptical about seeing Mars?
Lisa M
- Wednesday, June 13, 2001 at 09:44:52 (BST)
I think the russians will lead the way in that kind of TV. ANNNDDDDD there is a 3d version of chuckie egg on the PC - and its brilliant.
craig
- Tuesday, June 12, 2001 at 19:32:07 (BST)
Oops, fucked that post up. Ne'er mind. Forgot to say that Jet-set-Willy 3D Would be awesome. A tombraider type game. Arm willy with a gun and walk round his mansion exactly as it is in JSW2 shooting those nasties. he can go swimming in pool, we can watch him splat as he fall from a great height and of course, have virtual sex with Maria at the end. hhhm, if Mat Smith is that fucked in the head, maybe he can program it ;)
Jive Bunny
let's do the twist - Tuesday, June 12, 2001 at 06:37:12 (BST)
hey, saw this on the front page:

Reports that a recent photograph of one of James Bulger's killers is to be published on the internet have been condemned by his solicitor as "highly irresponsible". Then maybe the dream, a TV show where Bulgers dad hunts them down and tries to kill them, while they are on the run in an old camper van. A bit like a dark version of 'wanted' with the public trying to help and phoning in signtings. Channel 5 can show it, they like tasteless stuff. Imagine the ratings.

Now THAT is fucking hilarious!! i can see it now. Remember treaure hunt with Anneka Rice? It'd be like that. Some guy with a steadicam following Ralph Bulger round the council estates as he looks for shit scared "Bulger 2". It'd be like Arh-nold's "running man".

Ah, fuck the lethal injection. This is entertainment. As lomg as Michael Barrymore or keith Chegwin don't get to present it. Maybe Anthea Turner, Carol Smillie, Charlie thingy, Carol Smillie or Anne Diamond can do it. And a special bonus of a grand if Ralph batters them too.
Jive Bunny
let's do the twist - Tuesday, June 12, 2001 at 06:32:55 (BST)
You need a diffrent kind of GBX for the GBA, diffrent cart too.
craigix
- Tuesday, June 12, 2001 at 01:11:25 (BST)
WTF?
boki
- Monday, June 11, 2001 at 22:40:37 (BST)
Oooh - Quick Question - Does the old GBC Xchanger thinggy work properly with GBA games/demos ?
BattleM@n
UK - Monday, June 11, 2001 at 18:31:27 (BST)
yeah lol 3d manic miner 'Its-a-me Miner Will-ey'
craig
- Sunday, June 10, 2001 at 23:53:56 (BST)
How long will it be before you can get amazing grapic conversions of manic miner and the like on the playstation 2 that'd kick ass
confused
W/A - Sunday, June 10, 2001 at 21:37:01 (BST)
Right then. I start a job in a coupla months so i reckon i will get a GBA. I so nearly went for a CGB but after i properly 'tested' manic miner for it - i realised that it was a bit shit. Basically you can't kill 'The Alien Kon beast' as it kills you when you go into the exit. So i need an emulated version of manic miner in order to live a happy a fulfilled life... Thing is though, how much is the device that allows me to load stuff onto a cartridge? shit loads, probs - but i'll do it, once i'm earning!!
mat
bristol - Sunday, June 10, 2001 at 02:03:11 (BST)
The GBA is better than the SNES, quite a bit better. Its not a PSX but its half way there, you can do 'doom' games on it and of course emulate the speccy! It also runs all old gameboy games too. It will probably be cheaper to follow the links on my gba dev page to get one cheap. And since its the only hand held about its here to stay for the next 5-10 years or so.
craig
- Saturday, June 09, 2001 at 20:15:55 (BST)
Ha BattleM@n! UR just sez that cuz UR not l33t!!!! Sorry. Here's another console question: I've just been gawping at an empty GBA box in Game and apparantly it's a 32-bit machine. That'd make it considerably more powerful than the SNES, then, which turned out to be pseudo 16-bit if I remember that little thread we had on here a while ago correctly. Is there much of a discernable difference, Craig?
boki
- Saturday, June 09, 2001 at 20:00:45 (BST)
Yeah - whatever! Let's stop the "My console is better than yours..." argument shall we, before this place turns into some kind of newsgroup with tweenagers called KooLDooD and RaD-bOy.
BattleM@n
UK - Saturday, June 09, 2001 at 14:26:06 (BST)
Firstly i'd like to say i find the Dreamcast a better buy at the moment than the PS2, i got a PS2 on launch date with 5 games, 2 month later i spent £100 and bought a Dreamcast with 5 games, mega difference in graphics but the game play is what counts and for me PS2 hasn't got that YET, it will come, as it did with the Dreamcast.... next i read through the posts and saw that someone else actually liked The Biz on the spectrum, it was as addictive as Football Manager.... Crag you still wondering how Dizzy is developing then go see DIZZY at WWW.yolkfolk.com
Swizzzzz
Ecosse - Saturday, June 09, 2001 at 09:16:50 (BST)
Today, I am feeling inconsequential
Steady Eddie
Yorks - Saturday, June 09, 2001 at 06:14:31 (BST)
SwordFish (get it?). Yes I also noticed they had made one of the GTA cheats matts phone number/manic miner cheat! I wonder if many other people saw that.
craig
- Friday, June 08, 2001 at 16:35:51 (BST)
Against everybodys advice I went out and got a PS2 with 4 games. It's not a huge jump like Megadrive to PS1 but the games out now still look pretty damn fine. Say what you want about the PS2 but it is twice as powerful, etc etc than the Dreamcast. The thing is that the Dreamcast is 2/3's cheaper. SSX snowboarding is increadilble, Tekken tag looks really good but it is just all the Tekkens in one with a couple of extra moves per person, Dead or Alive 2 looks alright, story mode is shit, still trying to get into it. There looks like some really games coming though;- Twisted Metal;Black, The Getaway (both have me creaming), Metal Gear Solid 2 (played the demo and it really is worth the hype if you liked the first one) Gran Tourismo 3, IIS 2 (wow!), all the EA sports games (the Madden and NHL games out now are meant to superb), Dynasty Warriors 3, Ominusha: Warlords, Stuntman (made by the people behind Driver), Resident Evil; Code Veronica, Wipeout Fusion (brand new one!), the bond game?, Red Faction (getting this next week as part of the bundle). All of these games look amazing and I'll have the thought - oooo I want to buy that. These are just the one that I know and they are coming out this year. So what was I saying? erm yeah Matt Smith said in an interview that, that JSW code was the telephone number of one of the producers of the game.
casper-fly
Cornwall - Friday, June 08, 2001 at 15:13:49 (BST)
6031769 - that is a one of the cheats used in Grand theft auto too. Warehouse in manic miner? That's as far as I have got too. I didn complete it with the cheat. My mate at school said when you do it, you do it again but the number of nasties double. Lying bastard. The last level is a doddle. what's with the key and fish though
Steady Eddie
Yorks - Friday, June 08, 2001 at 03:43:49 (BST)
Thanks, I tried to find out where it came from. voting. Ahh... Last time it was lib dem but since where I am (newcastle) has a 22,000 lab maj its pointless. So I voted for the comedy party, in this case the socialist labour party. What I did was get 4 oranges and write the name of each party on them then attempt to juggle them and the first one to hit floor was the party I voted for. As you can see I put a lot of effort into choosing my vote, and I should also add I voted a while back via post.
craigo
- Friday, June 08, 2001 at 01:54:43 (BST)
Craig, you ought to link that isolated barn pic to the whole thing. Funniest TVGH in a while, that.
boki
- Thursday, June 07, 2001 at 20:43:48 (BST)
So, which way did you vote, Craigie?
green fairy dot com
UK - Thursday, June 07, 2001 at 20:04:52 (BST)
maybe i'm just a bit stupid then...but then i have always played it from the beggining i never put the cheat in...does everyone know what that is? for some reason it's not in any of the 'remakes'...well it's 6031769 anyway - i have always wondered where that number came from - is it Matt Smiths phone number, or is it the REAL answer to Life The Universe and Everything?
mat
bristol - Wednesday, June 06, 2001 at 23:25:48 (BST)
ok i've linked the peter pan one before, a looong time ago (martain sent me it) - but i'll let you off because the archive is offline at the moment. Now the other...
craig again
- Wednesday, June 06, 2001 at 22:53:06 (BST)
I have never found the warehosue to be hard, maybe your going about it wrong? Its one of the most easy levels in the game. Now to check those links...
craig
- Wednesday, June 06, 2001 at 22:49:56 (BST)
Oh, one other thing: I have been playing manic miner for about 15 years now and i still can't complete it. I am only just getting good at The Warehouse (bitch of a screen) after that, only 3 more screens to go then what will i do with my life? - it will be a sad day...
mat
bristol - Wednesday, June 06, 2001 at 22:46:55 (BST)
Hmmm Dizzy. I moved over to the Atari ST just as Dizzy appeared on the Speccy so missed out a bit maybe. I did, however, get Treasure Island Dizzy (as it was one of the few budget games on the ST and after shelling out £300 for the machine i couldn't afford to buy games..) i played and completed that one pretty quickly - good game though, good game. I just got heavely into Dungeon Master then, and did nothing else for about 6 months till i completed (i'm sure i missed out on a lot during that time - i mean in life not just in games). Before i go, did anyone ever get into the Wally Weak games, Everyones a Wally, Pyjamara etc? now THOSE were brilliant adventures!! totally cool...
mat
bristol - Wednesday, June 06, 2001 at 22:44:30 (BST)
Craig, Have you played Fantastic dizzy for megadrive?? It's AWESOME. So MASSIVE, bubble dizzy is also included. Takes a whopping 6 hours to complete!!!
Dizzy is such an underated classic - Treasure island dizzy was cool too - then it started to go downhill form there :(

CRAIG AND PEEPS. You MUST check out this DAMN WEIRD website. Maybe craig can link it from the main page?? :)
http://www.geocities.com/peterpan1720/
http://www.algonet.se/~giljotin/eija.html

Winer Milly
The 16th Cavern - Wednesday, June 06, 2001 at 20:32:54 (BST)
DIZZY. Now your talking. I remember going round friends houses trying to figure the dizzy games out and always resisting phoning the 0898 number to get the answer. Brilliant. Those games really are over looked. Why isn't there some action on the dizzy scene these days?
craig
- Wednesday, June 06, 2001 at 18:06:43 (BST)
Can someone hand me that damn key???
Winer Milly
The Central Cavern - Wednesday, June 06, 2001 at 18:05:37 (BST)
Well, you have to play Manic miner for about a year without touching JSW and when you do get round to playing JSW, it's a great high just coming and going as you please.
Impossible to do these days with all these new fangled machines out, but in the 80s we had a spectrum and about 30 games. I reckon we appreciated that machine more then than we do with Genesis emulators with 100 games, MAME, RAINE, Magic engine, system 16, Callus, etc etc.

Anyone who grew up in the 80s will understand. You played a game and stuck to it till you did it. Took me 2 years to complete the original Dizzy. Today I wouldn't bother, I'd just stick in Commando for MAME or something.
Winer Milly
The Central Cavern - Wednesday, June 06, 2001 at 18:04:31 (BST)
To say that the Dreamcast is the underdog is an understatement - It's got less than one year to live :( Still, it is better than the PS2 (irony and all that)! Best Speccy game of all time for me would have to be "The Biz" - Musical text based fun! Second fave is Chuckie Egg - Third is Manic Miner (unoriginal I know!). JSW is crap - sorry!
BattleM@n
UK - Wednesday, June 06, 2001 at 02:30:32 (BST)
Zynaps is a very classy game, let down by the "cartoony" look of the enemies. However, Chuckie Egg is brilliant - fast & simple & just right level of difficulty. I played it last night, joypad in hand, for nearly two hours. I like Manic Miner. I gave JSW another chance last night. Still don't get it I'm afraid. It too unweildy, too unfocussed, too cruel. It may be a pioneering game, but so is Pong, and I don't want to play that.
ARMPIT
Wales - Tuesday, June 05, 2001 at 22:58:47 (BST)
Zynaps, now that was a classic speccy shoot 'em up, i don't think i ever saw all the levels on it. I also liked chuckie egg, but i prefered chuckie egg 2 (they also made a good Amiga version)
mat
bristol - Tuesday, June 05, 2001 at 12:19:52 (BST)
Hardi-har! I'm playing speccy on the Playstation. Cheers Clive. What's more I have added a .sna file to the playstation executable using WinHex (Overwriting Zynaps with Chuckie Egg!). I haven't got a clue how, but it worked! I am the hack master.
ARMPIT
Wales - Tuesday, June 05, 2001 at 01:03:23 (BST)
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE JSW THING!!???? Okay, 1st question: Do you understand the ManicMiner thing? If you do then you should be able to understand the JSW thing (it's the same thing, if you attempt to 'complete' each screen (if you can complete 'The Nightmare Room' then you are very clever (and have a lot of time on your hands)) also the added bonus is there of 'exploration'). If you don't understand the ManicMiner thing - THEN PLAY IT!! and try and see how far you get - if you don't find yourself wanting to play it again and again then go Back To The Future and just play Crazy Taxi all day...but you'de be missing out on (in my opinion) the best computer game ever written...ever.
mat
bristol - Monday, June 04, 2001 at 22:18:10 (BST)
I've never understood the JSW thing either. Right, you will have to put the speccy emu on a CD and put it in the PS. I've never made a PS disc before however, so i'm not sure on it, making the dreamcast disc with the megadrive emu was quite easy however as long as you follow the instructions.
craig
- Monday, June 04, 2001 at 22:10:23 (BST)
Och, yer cheeky monkeys. You got me all worked up so I downloaded Speculator 0.9 - Speccy emulator for my PS1. Some right clever people around ain't there? Apparently there no more development done since (so no sound, only a few games incorporated...). What I want to know is this: 1. How does a thicky like me go about "patching" .sna games to the existing executable? Is there an idiots guide? Do you care? 2. Do any other PS Speccy emulators exist? 3. Why do people love Jet Set Willy? I don't get it. Thank You. Goodnight.
ARMPIT
Wales - Monday, June 04, 2001 at 20:01:10 (BST)
What's all this about election rigging? Vote by post? Blair's "muscle" strong arms senile old biddy's in old folks home to make them vote labour. Ain't the bloke got a huge majority anyway??
Why play Speccy games on a dreamcast? Quicker on a laptop ain't it? aaah Chuckie egg!
Black Dog
UK - Monday, June 04, 2001 at 18:45:30 (BST)
The dreamcast version of crazy taxi is far far better than the PS2 one. check the IGN review of crazy taxi - not good at all. They somehow manage to wreck a great game, make it slower, worse graphics, none of the cabbie voices(!!!), and popup city. However, I would put my money on the PS2. Its kinda the standard now, I think the cube and microsoft will kinda have an amiga like following. But the PS2 will be the PC, the daddy. Anyway, i like my GBA.
craigo
- Monday, June 04, 2001 at 15:40:53 (BST)
I would't truest what people say round here. For instance i want to get a dreamcast so i can play speccy games on it. (and also OLD playstation game). You can't trust what people say round here, as this place is 'basically' an emulation site and emulation people like the underdog(Dreamcast). It's a true story 'cos i made it up myself.
mat
bristol - Monday, June 04, 2001 at 11:29:49 (BST)
Noooooooooooooooooo! Don't do it!!!!! I got a PS2 about three months ago. So far I've got 6 games (yeah, at like, £50 each!!!) all of which are crap & about 20 demo disks with not so much as an inspiring flicker between them. Even the games that the PS2 mags say are shit hot are pants! The graphics are nasty & jaggy still and only the Metal Gear Solid 2 demo has gone so far as to 'impress' me! Rather than spend £300 on a PS2 & accessories go out and spend £200 on a dreamcast with some fucking great games. Phantasy Star Online and Jet Set Radio are good to start with. Then, buy a copy of Crazy Taxi - take it along with your DC to your mates house and show him how donkey the game is on the Playstation 2 in comparison to your 'less powerful' console. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!!!! FOR SALE : ONE PS2 - BARELY USED!!!
BattleM@n
UK - Monday, June 04, 2001 at 03:07:41 (BST)
i hadnt thought about it but that guy just sold me i now want a ps2
confused
W/A - Monday, June 04, 2001 at 00:52:00 (BST)
right, I'm tierd of waiting for the X-box to come so I have all but decided to get a playstation 2 within the next couple of weeks. I played one briefly when a friends, flatmates, boyfriend got one for Christmas, but I only played Red Racing (or something) and Silent Scope. I was VERY impressed with the graphix even if it did slow down a bit sometimes. If you look at the graphix of the first PSone games (ridge racer, tekken, air combat, etc) they were shoddy to say the least when you compare them to the games that they are realeasing now. So the graphix could be 100% better by next year. All the major companys are still signed up with Sony and apparently there are games generating a buzz about them at E3. I don't care about the Dvd (even though it is a nice addition) and being able to play PSone games is a great addition seeing as I sold mine just before Tony Hawks came out is great. I just won't buy a gamecube because I don't trust Nintedo to let enough companys to make games for it. The X-box does sound good, especially with the huge list of developers and the 766 processor but I am still not convinced. I rekon I'll get the bundle with Crazy Taxi (dreamcast games on it too), can someone give me the reasons why not to get one, seeing that there has been so much bad press?
casper-fly
Cornwall - Sunday, June 03, 2001 at 21:29:30 (BST)
Mr Thicky if you want.
mat
bristol - Saturday, June 02, 2001 at 10:58:09 (BST)
Call me Mr. Thicky if you want, but that UFO is just a CD tied to a tree. I know. I tie them! Heehee!
ARMPIT
Wales - Friday, June 01, 2001 at 22:35:42 (BST)
Angel Delight - lovely. Anchovies - beautiful. Mix 'em together - not nice.
mat
bristol - Friday, June 01, 2001 at 17:44:16 (BST)
I never watched Big Brother the first time as I was in Tenerife when it started and I thought no point carrying on! I decided I'd watch it this time but all the people seem nasty on it! Shame really!
Jacqui
UK - Friday, June 01, 2001 at 15:08:03 (BST)
I've just made an amazing discovery. If you're singing a song and you don't know all the words, just replace the words you don't know with the words "Chunky chicken". They fit any tune! Amazing, eh?
Mark
Senile Scotland - Friday, June 01, 2001 at 00:14:53 (BST)
Lee Evans cancelled - hooray! Big brother's annoyingly long sound dump on E4 pre watershed - boo!
BattleM@n
UK - Friday, June 01, 2001 at 00:02:33 (BST)
But remember nasty nick! no... wait. Who the hell am I talking about?
jimmy
- Wednesday, May 30, 2001 at 22:05:42 (BST)
I don't think Big Brother will be the same the second time around.... I'm refusing to watch it. Bored with these daft spin offs etc!!
Lisa M
- Wednesday, May 30, 2001 at 18:05:31 (BST)
Big Brother 2 is on E4, 21 hours a day with a 15 minuite delay to beep out swearing before 9:00. I'm already starting to get addicted again, someone please help me!
casper-fly
cornwall - Wednesday, May 30, 2001 at 16:00:31 (BST)
And lazyness.

- Tuesday, May 29, 2001 at 18:50:41 (BST)
Sex on the brain.
GF
- Tuesday, May 29, 2001 at 17:06:35 (BST)
Just a little note. Your thing always says today I feel boobs and the human need an erection. It used to change all the time. Any reason for this?
Jacqui
Uk - Tuesday, May 29, 2001 at 15:23:01 (BST)
If you cut a spiders legs off, the legs grow into more spiders.
clive
- Monday, May 28, 2001 at 02:21:44 (BST)
Git.
ARMPIT
Wales - Monday, May 28, 2001 at 01:59:33 (BST)
Clive, you git with your spider story. I've based my whole philosophy on the fact that killing the big spider means getting a peaceful night's sleep. I can't sleep now.
ARMPIT
Wales - Monday, May 28, 2001 at 01:04:49 (BST)
What's this talk about gay Star Wars robots? (Yeah I know it was ages ago, but I've been on holiday). And Big Brother 2? I'm sure I didn't have that many instant dislikes for people first time round?
plant
uk - Sunday, May 27, 2001 at 23:53:20 (BST)
Don't worry about the screen, i imagine you will be able to scroll it with the L/R buttons on the top of the GBA or they will just make the gba squash the screen slightly to fit it in (which is what the NES emulator does thats already on it).
craig
- Sunday, May 27, 2001 at 15:22:13 (BST)
that GBA speccy emulator looks reet smart. Apart from one tiny annoying thing that will stop me getting a GBA - and that's the fact that not all of the screen appears to, er, appear (it clearly clear that the mm and jsw screenshots are losing the top of the display)...
mat
bristol - Sunday, May 27, 2001 at 13:29:25 (BST)
I saw that doom generation, I was lazy about it though, and only looked up a few times. And yes, the human zoo, surely that was not the last one? They said it was but there was so much to go with the people in the lake district. It must have got bad ratings and been pulled.
craig
- Saturday, May 26, 2001 at 14:55:41 (BST)
Just finished watching TV for the night. "Doom Generation" is one of the worst 'extreme' films I ever bothered to watch. Utter shite! "The Human Zoo" was rather good. I quite liked the series, but I still prefer The Tourist Trap that was on CH4 a few years ago! "The Dance Years" was excellent. Typical - the only decent music show is on at 2am on a Friday night. I've kinda made a resolution that I'd try not to be caught up in Biggy Bro like I was last time - but if one of them's a stripper I may just have to change my mind :) Ooh - I'm looking for some kick ass freeware games, but I can't find many - anyone have any particular faves?
BattleM@n
UK - Saturday, May 26, 2001 at 02:48:29 (BST)
Ok, this page is now half the size.
craig
- Friday, May 25, 2001 at 22:42:05 (BST)
Sounds cool tho. Polychromatic. "So darling, what colours the new car?" "Oh it's a beauuuutiful polychromatic blue!"
MatthewMacGregor
Scotland - Friday, May 25, 2001 at 20:24:10 (BST)
Well not really like a spectrum loading, as the loading patterns were/are monochromatic this is an an example of a polychromatic colour scheme...is polychromatic a real word or did i make it up?
mat
bristol - Friday, May 25, 2001 at 19:37:42 (BST)
yeah, if you scroll down really fast it looks like a spectrum loading. The second series of big brother has started (it's on T.V. Saturday) and one of the contestents is a stripper! Channel 4 really knows whats it's doin'
casper-fly
cornwall - Friday, May 25, 2001 at 15:20:15 (BST)
Yes, I know, the hotmail account confused me too. It sounds so serious though, maybe someone (Craig) should email and ask them. Go Craig!
Lisa M
- Friday, May 25, 2001 at 14:23:55 (BST)
I think that the fact that that ban breast feeding thingy has a hotmail address says it all really. :P
MatthewMacGregor
Scotland - Friday, May 25, 2001 at 10:38:03 (BST)
if you scroll down dead fast, it looks really good.
GRAIL
- Friday, May 25, 2001 at 01:18:28 (BST)
arse i just realised that this page has became far too big, time to cut to down and put half in history again.
crrraig
- Thursday, May 24, 2001 at 21:05:37 (BST)
All this talk about ANAL is a pain in the arse.. (You see what I did there, clever eh??)
Fat Uncle Mark
england - Thursday, May 24, 2001 at 15:32:38 (BST)
The film you're looking for Craig is "An AMerican Tale"..
Fat Uncle Mark
England - Thursday, May 24, 2001 at 13:38:09 (BST)
this entire place has gone anal.
craigicicic
- Thursday, May 24, 2001 at 01:04:06 (BST)
JEESUS. Those pics were quite disturbing. That person is surely gonna suffer when older. I had a friend who worked in an olds peoples home and discovered an old lady crying on the toilet. My friend had to stuff the old ladys insides back up her arse. Be warned...
mat
bristol - Wednesday, May 23, 2001 at 10:15:43 (BST)
Also, goatse was quite alluring.
ARMPIT
Wales - Wednesday, May 23, 2001 at 02:00:00 (BST)
I laughed more at 'Hope and Glory'. No really. That had some good moments. And True Identity, when he became white (and american), that was pretty good. Look, is this because i'm a black man? Are you saying i'm black? etc. Lenny plays on his blackness a bit too much if you think about it. an entire film based on it. I say this but there was something oddly funny about him constantly saying 'is it because i'm a black man'. Maybe your right, maybe he IS back. At least with the blackman sketch.
craigix
- Wednesday, May 23, 2001 at 01:59:59 (BST)
That Lenny Henry TV thing the other night was the first time he's done to make me smile since Delbert Wilkins. Won an award it did.
ARMPIT
Wales - Wednesday, May 23, 2001 at 01:52:24 (BST)
Don't you know? On the video cover of "Disney's Little Mermaid" is a big cock hidden in the background (disguised as a tower). check out http://www.bunnybass.com/mimi/ebay_littlemermaid.html for more pictures. Jack Straw has followed the media-whore's advice and wants to try and ban internet chatrooms - FUCK!
BattleM@n
UK - Tuesday, May 22, 2001 at 22:40:14 (BST)
Ooooh. I went and looked at goatse (dot) cx!!! Reverse psychology! I feel sick.
Lisa M
- Tuesday, May 22, 2001 at 12:02:54 (BST)
Yes, that sounds quite amuzingg..mermaids etc..
mat
bristol - Tuesday, May 22, 2001 at 10:58:30 (BST)
Do tell us about that incident.
craigixy
- Tuesday, May 22, 2001 at 01:58:16 (BST)
I watched that film FRESH on CH4 last night (or night before - can't remember). Purely by accident I switched it on. I totally agree with craig - cool ghetto film which wasn't directed by Spike Lee! Love the Yellow Pages thing - haven't had so much fun since the whole 'Little Mermaid / Penis' incident.
BattleM@n
UK - Tuesday, May 22, 2001 at 01:16:19 (BST)
it works now too, anyone else have a problem with it? It might have became an office thing and too many people are trying to show it to their friends. But it works :)
craig
- Monday, May 21, 2001 at 17:35:04 (BST)
what what what? it was working a minute ago
craig
- Monday, May 21, 2001 at 17:33:19 (BST)
I tried clicking for the upside down image but it's a broken link. Just thought you should know.
Mick
East London - Monday, May 21, 2001 at 17:21:23 (BST)
Single White Female requires large submissive male. Leather thong, ky jelly and whip provided, bring your own leash. Thank you.
Lisa M
- Monday, May 21, 2001 at 00:04:34 (BST)
Craigs singles page. Roll up, roll up. Sure, we will all talk to you.
craigo
- Sunday, May 20, 2001 at 00:23:28 (BST)
Does anyone out there want to chat to lonely 30something female
shazza
scotland - Saturday, May 19, 2001 at 15:51:58 (BST)
God Almighty, are these money grabbing corporate bastards ever gonna let The X Files go out with some semblance of respect? Year after year they make it drag on and pressing forward without one of the two lead characters is just wrong. Geez, let it go already.
Bint
Wales - Saturday, May 19, 2001 at 13:26:18 (BST)
A punch isn't necessarily worse than an egging - it would be if the punch was well-measured and properly landed, but who's gonna be able to do that with a face full of gloop? Eggshells may break easily, but the fragments are sharp enough to do your eye some fuckin damage, so if one goes off in your face, you're gonna panic, you're gonna worry, and you're gonna instinctively lash out no matter what your bloody job is!
Steeev
- Saturday, May 19, 2001 at 01:46:05 (BST)
Whatchu done, Clive. Murrderrr I'll wager.
ARMPIT
Wales - Friday, May 18, 2001 at 23:57:01 (BST)
No thanks, I have a headache.
Lisa M
- Friday, May 18, 2001 at 21:09:32 (BST)
Alright then Lisa, d'yu wanna shag?
mat
bristol - Friday, May 18, 2001 at 19:33:21 (BST)
Ok. Let's change the subject to Sex. Sex is good.... Discuss.
Lisa M
- Friday, May 18, 2001 at 14:42:54 (BST)
Look, violence is NEVER a justifiable course of action under any circumstances. Yes, it was wrong to chuck an egg at him but he simply shouldn't have turned around and lamped that guy. And i do think fox hunters are gits. And i am a pacifist. a punch is worse than an egg-throw, maybe prescott and other politician should come prepared with armfulls of eggs to chuck back!...no, that would be a waste of eggs...
mat
bristol - Friday, May 18, 2001 at 11:32:20 (BST)
OK, Joking aside for a moment. Although I detest the man, I think Prescott was totally justified in what he did. I mean, if this was the United States then he would of had Special Sevrice agents protecting him, not over here, good job it was only an egg the guy had and not a gun. As much as I dislike most politicians, I wouldn't wish that sort of attack on anyone (the gun one I mean, everyone gets egged every once in a while).. Although, he should be getting used to it by now, cast your minds back a few years when Chumbawumba threw an ice bucket over him at the Brit awards..
Fat Uncle Mark
England - Friday, May 18, 2001 at 11:19:54 (BST)
Yep i read he was a fox hunter. Go prescott.
craig
- Thursday, May 17, 2001 at 22:44:05 (BST)
Well i don't think anyone can top that. Excellent. Certainly no more voter apathy.
craigux
- Thursday, May 17, 2001 at 22:42:11 (BST)
The police should have held that be-mulleted, hunt-lovin' country bumpkin still so Prescott could have gotten a better aim....
green fairy dot com
UK - Thursday, May 17, 2001 at 22:34:36 (BST)
!!!!STOP PRESS!!! Tony Blair Drop Kicks Baby In Busy London Street!!! In a direct response to John Prescotts popularity rating taking a huge leap after yesterdays "punching man in the face" episode, Tony Blair today snatched a crying child from his mother and drop kicked him over a stunned crowd of on-lookers. The Primeminster who is running for a second term in office was quoted as saying after the event "The little bleeder wouldn't shut up, but I've now showed him who is the daddy.." The mother of the child had a different outlook on the situation. Mary Kelmes, 24, when asked about the incident said, "I couldn't believe it, one minutes my son james was in my arms, a little upset as children sometimes get, and the next minute he was flying through the air, kind of like a rugby ball." Infuriated, Mrs Kelmes continued, "Its just not on, he may be the primeminister but he has no right to go around kicking peoples children, I will certainly be thinking of voting against him in the election". Amazed onlookers had differing opinions on Mr Blair. Jerry Tamworth of Chelmsford, Essex said this, "I think what Mr Blair did today in the street took a lot of guts, these days kids are out of control and this shows that he is taking a firm line in discipline." But Anita Holding of Tottenham, North London was in disagreement, "OK, the kid was howling, but what kids dont? I think this kind of behaviour is unacceptable, especially from a servant of the public." William Hague, leader of the opposition said about the baby-kicking saga. "Its very sad to hear that Mr Balir will go to these lengths to try and strengthen his lead in the opinion polls", he then went on to say "I wouldn't ever stoop to these levels, baby kicking is just not on". Although a Tory insider said "After Mr Hague heard of this he was looking for a way to usurp Mr Blairs popularity, he was seriously considering shooting his wife on live TV, but backed down after being advised it was against the law and would lead to an embaressing conviction of murder". Report ends... ©Msimms2001
Fat Uncle Mark
England - Thursday, May 17, 2001 at 17:16:30 (BST)
Did u hear what Willy H. said? Apparently he's not in the habit of punching voters in the middle of election campaign. Ha ha ha. I think Prescott is cool, pity about slimy car salesman Tony....
Lisa M
Geordieland - Thursday, May 17, 2001 at 16:45:00 (BST)
Remember the two tribes video? Thats how it should be. In italy and such they have fights all the time, i think it was on tarrent on tv. but yes, funny example to set. Just proves hes a workin man. yeaah. from the mines. now he has 2 jaguars, i'd not say no to 2 jaguars. His jaguars run on LPG, don't you know. ex-SAS Paddy Ashdown would beat them all, did you see him disarm that guy who tried to knife him? Thats a real leader. Pssttt charles kennedy. Lame. I dunno who i'm going to vote for. If there is a comedy party they might just get my vote.
craigix
- Thursday, May 17, 2001 at 16:27:40 (BST)
fight fight fight fight! Prescott could have totally taken him.
jimmy
- Thursday, May 17, 2001 at 16:01:49 (BST)
i know that was a light hearted look at that situation but there really is enough violent twats in Britain as it is and we don't need the politicians being violent too. What kind of example does it show to thick bastards? Sorry but the guys a dickhead and he should go and work on building site or in a factory or somthing
mat
bristol - Thursday, May 17, 2001 at 11:49:56 (BST)
Bullshit, Prescott should never resign, I think all politicians should get stuck in more often.. How about a bare knuckle fight between Blair and Haig, Last man standing wins the election, fuck policy, none of them stick to it anyway.. They could televise it and make it like WWF but for real (sorry to burst your bubble WWF fans but it aint real), they could put chairs and crowbars in the ring and each 'fighter' could make a grand entrance with fireworks and loud music and several minutes of 'macho' postering before getting stuck in.. Man that would rule... Prescott gets my vote..
Fat Uncle Mark
England - Thursday, May 17, 2001 at 10:54:27 (BST)
Yeah mannnnn SUBWAY, the way a sandwich should be. loving it.
GRAIL
- Thursday, May 17, 2001 at 02:39:26 (BST)
Quite agree. But moree interesting stuff: Prescott smacked that guy - and if he doesn't resign, the world is more of a fucked up place than i previously thought. Great images though!
mat
bristol - Wednesday, May 16, 2001 at 22:49:40 (BST)
Hear'Say were never gonna be taken seriously anyway! Finally watched my 'NBK:Directors Cut' DVD yesterday (my DVD player doesn't do region 1 so I had to use my bro's). Suprised at how little Channel 5 cut out! Alernative ending sees Mickey & Mallery shot-guned to death :) Cool deleted scenes - Dennis Leary's bit should have been kept in IMHO. Might listen to the Directors commentary a little later...
BattleM@n
UK - Wednesday, May 16, 2001 at 21:49:59 (BST)
yeah. totally finished. like girl thing.
craigixy
- Wednesday, May 16, 2001 at 02:26:08 (BST)
I have to agree with you there 'country boy' from 'W/A'...but you never know it may get interesting again one day...
mat
bristol - Tuesday, May 15, 2001 at 20:03:58 (BST)
sorry to say it but this has got really shit as of late so bysey bye
country boy
W/A - Tuesday, May 15, 2001 at 19:00:04 (BST)
Just found out we are expecting triplets.....
Lisa M
- Monday, May 14, 2001 at 15:14:52 (BST)
aww fuckin 'ell, i've pissed me bed again!
craig
- Monday, May 14, 2001 at 15:05:47 (BST)
alreet, im booked in, for a fill in, on beard like, craig david bo check it out, when i say bo say selecta, cumon kez ya bastard
craig
england - Monday, May 14, 2001 at 14:44:10 (BST)
You can't marry Craig he's mine I tell you all mine!
Jacqui
UK - Monday, May 14, 2001 at 13:18:29 (BST)
Hi. I'm a virgin here, but thought I should introduce myself as about to elope with Craig Baby. We've off to Norway in his super gas powered BMW, to find suitable castle for marriage. Will keep him on tight leash in future, so beware. No more porn without my involvement. Love The Little Wife. PS Can I fit Jet Engines to a BMW that runs on Gas?
Lisa M the Sex Kitten
Sextopia - Monday, May 14, 2001 at 01:49:57 (BST)
Hylo jimmy darlin
ARMPIT
Wales - Friday, May 11, 2001 at 23:43:41 (BST)
i am iceland. have eyes and hair.
jimmy
- Thursday, May 10, 2001 at 22:54:02 (BST)
commit a crime and you should go to jail especially if you got away and think its now safe to come back, silly old man
country boy
W/A - Tuesday, May 08, 2001 at 12:14:35 (BST)
Downloads are too God Damn slow! BT Bastards with there new boss - fucking give me ADSL RIGHT NOW!!! And can people stop saying that Ronnie Biggs is a bloody "Lovable Rogue". I heard three blokes say it yesterday on the radio - wake up people he's a fucking criminal!!! AGGGGGGHHHHHHH! *BOOM* (normal sanity will resume shortly...)
BattleM@n
UK - Tuesday, May 08, 2001 at 02:57:19 (BST)
was that the one about the seige at ruby ridge? I saw some programme about that last week, don't know the name of it though, just wondering if it's the same one........ like the FBI kill that many families!
GRAIL
- Monday, May 07, 2001 at 12:04:21 (BST)
just want to say hello! craig, be happy with your new lpg powered car.. i have used one and it runs perfect.. by the way i am one of your old customers..
luksikayvolkir
turkey - Monday, May 07, 2001 at 10:19:55 (BST)
that secret rulers thing on the family killed by the fbi was as good a program as the one with max hardcore
country boy
W/A - Monday, May 07, 2001 at 02:39:40 (BST)
yeah, its a myth that its 16bit. And the resolution was lower than the megadrive I think (but i'm not certain - the megadrive could also do hires in games like sonic 2). The SNES was a slow machine compared to the megadrive too - but its the games that matter.
craig
- Sunday, May 06, 2001 at 17:03:33 (BST)
Would that be the Holy Grail? Craig, according to NMS the SNES was a 16-bit machine. Still, if you're certain I won't dispute it. It wouldn't surprise me because the SNES definitely had blockier, graphics than the MD.
Mark
Scotland - Sunday, May 06, 2001 at 04:01:07 (BST)
and who told you all about the supergran shit hanging form the ceiling? who was it, crrraig? WHO??? Was it someone supercool? Rahahhahaha
GRAIL
- Saturday, May 05, 2001 at 18:44:17 (BST)
lets clear this up, the SNES WAS AN 8-BIT machine. Ask anyone who knows about these things. Thats why nintendo didn't put '16-bit' anywhere near it, yet on the n64 they were screaming about it being a 64bit machine. Also the jaguar, they said 64bit, but it infact was nothing of the sort. It just had a 32bit cpu, and two 16 bit cpus, they added it all together = 64. LAME. The megadrive has some brilliant shootemups (i play them on the DC MD emu all the time) but the snes had mario cart. arrrr. The megadrive is still made and sold though....
craig
- Saturday, May 05, 2001 at 18:14:00 (BST)
Easy CD creator 5 quick-fix... Step 1. Go to shop where purchased - ask for refund Step 2. With refund money buy copy of Nero 5.5 problem solved :) Nice to see that cDc is back to it's old tricks too
BattleM@n
UK - Saturday, May 05, 2001 at 16:57:16 (BST)
Hmm...SNES & MegaDrive - difficult choice. S'pose it depends on your gaming preference. RPGs were few and far between with the MD (please no posts about specific games - yeah I know there were one or two released, but not nearly as many as the SNES). Similarly, there weren't as many action/arcade games on the SNES (Sega are the arcade masters IMHO). I think that my favourite console would have to be the MD though, mainly because I am a Sonic junkie :) Anyway, back to evil Visual Basic programming...
BattleM@n
UK - Saturday, May 05, 2001 at 16:49:14 (BST)
r u sure i thought the snes was 16 bit infact ill be very suprised if it wasnt you hear me VERY SUPRISED
confused
W/A - Saturday, May 05, 2001 at 16:19:53 (BST)
oh no oh no why is this posting twice? or is it just being cached by freeserve? Mail.. yes i have a load of email to get through - i'll check that now, i'm on the damn GBA dev mailing list and its became too busy. The SNES was 8bit remember - the megadrive was 16bit.
craig
- Saturday, May 05, 2001 at 14:55:04 (BST)
sorry about the double message, but which was better gamegear, gameboy, or the formidable lynx machine
country boy
W/A - Saturday, May 05, 2001 at 14:36:30 (BST)
the megadrive was the forfront of 16bit technology and except for shity marketing it was pottentialy the best sonic pissed on everythinng and some excellent conversions flashback ,streets of rage ,etc but Marios consel had better games attmitidly
country boy
W/A - Saturday, May 05, 2001 at 14:32:23 (BST)
the megadrive was the forfront of 16bit technology and except for shity marketing it was pottentialy the best sonic pissed on everythinng and some excellent conversions flashback ,streets of rage ,etc but Marios consel had better games attmitidly
country boy
W/A - Saturday, May 05, 2001 at 14:31:57 (BST)
Ey Craig, you get my mail or is demon being arse again?
DaveF
NI - Saturday, May 05, 2001 at 14:12:03 (BST)
Yeah, the SNES was a billion times better then Megadrive. All Megadrive had going for it was sonic and an excellent version of the Amiga classic - Battle Squadren. The best game on the SNES by far was (is) Mario Kart...plus i am the best at it...
mat
bristol - Saturday, May 05, 2001 at 10:59:51 (BST)
The SNES was the better machine, and again for the games. Things like Secret of Mana, Secret of Evermore, Zelda: A Link to the Past, and all the other RPG style games. Are they gonna release these onto the GBA? Can it handle them?
plant
uk - Saturday, May 05, 2001 at 09:39:43 (BST)
Twice by the looks of things. Anyway, forget that old speccy/C64 argument. Which was best, the Mega Drive or the SNES? I think the Mega Drive's games have better graphics. Anyone disagree?
Mark
Scotland - Saturday, May 05, 2001 at 01:24:56 (BST)
So the Spectrum had better games......sometimes..(remember colour clashes?)... Did it have a loading symphony by Martin Galway?.... No.... Anyway enough of that......(I had to get it off my chest!!)
Del
Scotland - Saturday, May 05, 2001 at 00:19:21 (BST)
So the Spectrum had better games......sometimes..(remember colour clashes?)... Did it have a loading symphony by Martin Galway?.... No.... Anyway enough of that......(I had to get it off my chest!!)
Del
Scotland - Saturday, May 05, 2001 at 00:19:20 (BST)
yeeah i saw that thing mentioned. Is anyone going? I should probably put that question on the main page, and a link to it. only I can't find the page anymore. Assistance!
craig
- Friday, May 04, 2001 at 23:00:30 (BST)
Agreed. I would go that thing in Brum' but, alas, i have exams around that time. Plus the fact, that there would not be a single female there...
mat
bristol - Friday, May 04, 2001 at 16:20:21 (BST)
The C64 was technically better in almost every way... but the Speccy games were just so damn playable. And yes, Rob Hubbard does rock. Anyone going to the Back In Time live thing in Birmingham, or have we missed it now?
plant
uk - Friday, May 04, 2001 at 11:15:35 (BST)
We've had this argument b4..but the speccy was better...
mat
bristol - Wednesday, May 02, 2001 at 22:48:27 (BST)
f**ing? are we PG rated? And before anyone says it. Yeah. the car is white. Damn. lol.
craig
- Wednesday, May 02, 2001 at 20:20:13 (BST)
Spectrum was crap!!! C64 rools........Rob Hubbard (need I say more!!)
Del
Scotland - Wednesday, May 02, 2001 at 19:53:16 (BST)
Celtic r the best f***ing team on the planet..... so there!! Bucky rules......
Del
Scotland - Wednesday, May 02, 2001 at 19:50:12 (BST)
i believe unclear user is on the wos cd 2.
craig
- Wednesday, May 02, 2001 at 16:41:50 (BST)
What was your faverout spectrum/computer magazine, back in the day. I liked Crash, but sometimes that was a bit too sensible so i got Your Sinclair too - which was always good forra laugh. Does anyone remember when they did that piss-take of Sinclair User - Unclear User, with a picture of Arthur Daley on the front, mock, cover - they got in real trouble for that i seen to remember...
mat
Bristol - Wednesday, May 02, 2001 at 16:38:14 (BST)
Yes yes i'm going to watch it, been so ncie lately. been out and about getting upto antics.
crrraigix
- Tuesday, May 01, 2001 at 18:41:43 (BST)
:) only kiddin' pal. You're doing a fine job.
Andy
London - Tuesday, May 01, 2001 at 18:02:24 (BST)
...so have you watched it then or what?
plant
uk - Monday, April 30, 2001 at 21:57:12 (BST)
is this a cryptic mention of my recent shameless leeching of ananova stories?
craigixy
- Monday, April 30, 2001 at 18:04:35 (BST)
Hey Craig, wanna link sites? it'll make a nice change :)
http://www.ananova.com/
Andy
London - Monday, April 30, 2001 at 17:18:47 (BST)
It stopped at about 2 sunday afternoon. It was Gypsies...that's probably why the police didn't wanna get involved...
mat
bristol - Monday, April 30, 2001 at 12:54:59 (BST)
The music is still going. Bastards.
mat
Bristol - Sunday, April 29, 2001 at 14:01:42 (BST)
If there are any files you want mate that are too big to download via modem give me a shout and I'll whack them on CD and send them to you. tee_osser@hotmail.com but you gotta have the direct URL of the filename as I haven't got time to go searching for 'em.
Fat Uncle Mark
England - Sunday, April 29, 2001 at 13:39:54 (BST)
aww my dream is to be able to download all the latest TV shows from the states. Damn. I was also kept awake last night by music. I suspect it was an illegal rave. maybe. Was coming from the old buisness park.
cccraig
- Sunday, April 29, 2001 at 12:52:03 (BST)
Its Sunday morning and I'm in work.. Why?? I'm in the IT department and we have just had a 2mb line put in, there is no one else here on Sundays so I have the full bandwidth to myself. Download them full length pornos in minutes, 200KB a second downloads anyone!!! I may even do a few minutes work here then have the audacity to claim overtime...
Fat Uncle Mark
England - Sunday, April 29, 2001 at 11:26:26 (BST)
i must be gettinh ol. Some bastards are playing music that goes "thump, thump, thump...." down road somehwhere and i cant sleep because of it. I called the police and the bastards wont do anything about it. What the fuck!!! I will kill someone soon...
mat
brsitol - Sunday, April 29, 2001 at 05:32:44 (BST)
no way, i love getting the ones on my back. Or letting girls get them, that way i can scam a massage out of it too.
craigixus
- Saturday, April 28, 2001 at 20:41:50 (BST)
I suggest seeking medical advice. I am not really qualified to an answer such questions.
mat
Bristol - Saturday, April 28, 2001 at 18:47:04 (BST)
I've recently become obsessed with squeezing the pores on my chest. Is this a good thing, because I'm cleaning out my pores, or am I irreparably damaging the skin by depriving it of those tiny little hard globules of puss?
Mark
Smirny Scotland - Saturday, April 28, 2001 at 01:21:43 (BST)
This baby is a free-for-all
craig
- Friday, April 27, 2001 at 20:49:16 (BST)
ive been observing for a while now and i have a few questions to make the whol experience worth continuing. Who is craig? and who is grail? these two seem as though they own this page or are somehow involved in its production ,but i really dont know
confused
W/A - Friday, April 27, 2001 at 15:41:55 (BST)
Got in from my college interview to see that my sister had started to watch Jedi - spooky! Remember though kids - Don't accept any advice from little green men regardless of what planet they come from :)
BattleM@n
UK - Thursday, April 26, 2001 at 22:35:34 (BST)
I haven't seen them either... heyyy crrrraig send them this way when you're done!
GRAIL
- Thursday, April 26, 2001 at 18:44:52 (BST)
The Empire Strikes back is WAY better than SW - which is a good, though simple movie. ESB Rules!
Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.
Han Solo
Carbon bed - Thursday, April 26, 2001 at 17:30:40 (BST)
You can keep Star Wars, it's one of my spare copies. I have this dream y'see, that everyone should own a copy of Star Wars and that kids in school should be made to watch it at least once a week. It is THAT good!
plant
uk - Thursday, April 26, 2001 at 07:21:29 (BST)
Stop throwing up - it's messy, drink lots of water, rest lots & think happy thoughts. If all this fails, just kill yerself, being ill isn't fun, and it may be terminal anyway. Ang congrats on your new purchase, I want to hear ALL about it later :) (told u if it was meant to be it would be)
meofcourse
- Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 18:50:19 (BST)
Get well soon Craig babe! Thanks for the birthday wish! Ring me ;o)
Jacqui
UK - Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 15:07:57 (BST)
IDSA... definitely cunty... in a Royston Vasey 'Shop a Scrounger' kind of way.
plant
uk - Wednesday, April 25, 2001 at 00:04:02 (BST)
Get well soon, Clive
ARMPIT
Wales - Tuesday, April 24, 2001 at 22:59:21 (BST)
Get Well Soon Craig! IDSA stands for the Interactive Digital Software Association - and yes they do seem rather cunty to me (www.idsa.com)!
BattleM@n
UK - Tuesday, April 24, 2001 at 22:21:10 (BST)
Plant - it looks like Craig got leaned on by someone called the IDSA. I don't know what an IDSA is but I've a sneaking suspicion it's a cunty type of thing. Is it cunty, Craig?
boki
- Tuesday, April 24, 2001 at 21:29:00 (BST)
WHhere did all the CD's go?
plant
uk - Tuesday, April 24, 2001 at 01:27:19 (BST)
I haven't either and I don't feel too deprived!
Kimmy
UK - Monday, April 23, 2001 at 17:30:03 (BST)
I've never seen star wars either!
Jacqui
UK - Monday, April 23, 2001 at 17:29:22 (BST)
No, i've never seen any of the starwars films. We have been through this before, a few months back. I will watch it next time its on TV. Is it as good as indiana jones?
craig
- Monday, April 23, 2001 at 01:45:02 (BST)
I dunno why they can't make the cows (etc) into dog and cat food. No doubt we will hear of a scandal soon involving bent farmers who are selling on infected meat etc. etc. I don't touch british beef and have not since the BSE thing.
craig
- Monday, April 23, 2001 at 01:43:56 (BST)
You've never seen Star Wars! You've NEVER seen Star Wars? YOU'VE NEVER SEEN STAR WARS?!? ARE YOU MAD? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? W A T C H I T N O W !!!
plant
uk - Sunday, April 22, 2001 at 23:49:52 (BST)
Hey Craig, don't complain about the old Zev and Kai picture on C5's repeats of Lexx. So what if it's out of date? Eva Habermann is beautiful. If only she'd stayed with the show.
Mark
Scotland - Sunday, April 22, 2001 at 01:30:53 (BST)
what about the pathetic wink from Ann Robinson at the end of the program
Sweevvvvs <Nudechix@myhouse.com>
Inter, bad Scot - Saturday, April 21, 2001 at 21:13:21 (BST)
I heard on a talkshow that they might allow meat from animals with foot-and-mouth virus to be allowed to be sold/served as it is "fit for human consumption". Yummy.
lilbit137
UK - Saturday, April 21, 2001 at 05:03:26 (BST)
I'd have looked after it and it would still be alive.
craigixy
- Friday, April 20, 2001 at 23:02:52 (BST)
I, um, burnt it, but it WAS an accident! (proven by the fact that I was wearing it at the time - would I purposefully toarch myself??)
mmmm chocolate
- Friday, April 20, 2001 at 12:47:21 (BST)
Yeah sure - why not! :)
BattleM@n
UK - Thursday, April 19, 2001 at 18:36:46 (BST)
American's are touching Anne Robinson's genitals?
lilbit137
UK - Thursday, April 19, 2001 at 02:05:14 (BST)
I feel sorry for the Americans! Now not only do 40% of them think that genital touching is sex but they have Anne Robinson to contend with. Oh, in case you didn't know - she isn't scary she's f**king rude!!
BattleM@n
UK - Wednesday, April 18, 2001 at 23:03:09 (BST)
Yes I did take you jumper, but only because I feared for its safety - I ask you this - WHERE IS THAT JUMPER NOW?
craigix
- Wednesday, April 18, 2001 at 19:58:27 (BST)
"YOU ARE NOT THE WEAKEST LINK .... HELLO!" Now THAT's clever!
ARMPIT
Wales - Tuesday, April 17, 2001 at 22:52:43 (BST)
yes, let tell us what eeeevil things eeeeeevil Kay said about eeeeevil you. I can tell evil tales too, you stole my jumper and made me think it had been kidnapped horribly.
lubajanga
- Tuesday, April 17, 2001 at 21:20:09 (BST)
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE...... Keep it in the home.
GRAIL
- Tuesday, April 17, 2001 at 16:36:31 (BST)
Kay, would you like to post what you said? I've had people i've never spoken to asking me about it on ICQ, had my phoned texted wanting to know, its been crazy. Nothing gets the ratings up like a good domestic.
Craig
- Tuesday, April 17, 2001 at 01:54:11 (BST)
well, it must be in your cache...go on let us see it!!
mat
bristol - Tuesday, April 17, 2001 at 01:50:07 (BST)
Grail BED
Craigix CHAIR
Grail fish tank with your head in it.
Craigix fucking tabe
Grail tabe?
Craigix fucking table and chair with you nailed to it
Grail hahahaha, we ARE evil!
GRAIL
- Monday, April 16, 2001 at 03:33:03 (BST)
you can't, its gone. there was loads of really cool revelations too, aw man... if you guys had seen that shit. I mean whoa... i could have never shown my face on the net again. ;p
craaig
- Monday, April 16, 2001 at 02:20:31 (BST)
Hylo. I'm Welsh.
ARMPIT
Wales - Monday, April 16, 2001 at 02:02:30 (BST)
i knew a girl called kay she was absolutly beautiful .i miss her
likley lad
W/A - Monday, April 16, 2001 at 00:57:08 (BST)
Hey Craig, where can i read what kay wrote about u?
mat
bristol - Sunday, April 15, 2001 at 23:57:51 (BST)
1:30 in the morning.......in the pouring rain....the neighborhood sidewalk stalkers decide to have a fireworks display.....(or was it gunfire?)......can't get to sleeppp.......
lilbit137
uk - Sunday, April 15, 2001 at 04:41:04 (BST)
I MEAN SINGING.... FOO!
GRAIL
- Saturday, April 14, 2001 at 18:54:53 (BST)
YOU FUCKING DIDN'T. NOT WHEN I'M SING JOSEPH AND HIS TECHNICOLOUR RAINCOAT. YOU JUST DIDN'T LEMME GET UP TO THE YELLOW PART. DICK.
GRAIL
- Saturday, April 14, 2001 at 18:52:54 (BST)
help, i feel over used!
sexoogle
- Saturday, April 14, 2001 at 18:04:35 (BST)
Happy Easter! Erm...well almost. So how well is sexoogle doing - any stats for us on the number of hits? I should really do updates to my site, but I have a serious laziness issue at the moment :(
BattleM@n
UK - Saturday, April 14, 2001 at 11:12:11 (BST)
OK, I got the cheat working :)
I completed Willy's new hat last night. I think it is VERY cleverly designed - better than JSW1 IMO
Russ
UK - Friday, April 13, 2001 at 04:01:00 (BST)
If harold can come back from the dead, i'm sure midge can. I mean madge.
craig
- Thursday, April 12, 2001 at 22:32:28 (BST)
SHIT ME!! Madge is gonna die !
Harold
W/A - Thursday, April 12, 2001 at 14:14:24 (BST)
YAY. Played JSW2 on Speccy today. Foest time in yonks and instead of cheating, I actually managed to get the Ship sailing to the deserted island. Thing is though, I couldn't get out :( The supposedly 'rescue' didn't happen. No teleported. Nothing.
Craig, I know what your 2 cheats are in your JSW package game but where do you insert/write them??
Russ
UK - Wednesday, April 11, 2001 at 19:25:00 (BST)
Outside my house right now a neighbours friend has parked a series7 BMW (the giant ones) and it don't half make my 316 look well shit. Arrrr. It has WOODEN dash etc. You know your getting somewhere when your car has a wooden interiour. And as for free internet - just use freeserve, i'd not trust any of those small ISP's. Now, to warm up yesterdays takeaway and have it for todays dinner.
craigggg
- Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 18:45:34 (BST)
Unbelievable but true.. I have (had) a Jaguar XJS which some prick smashed into the back of on the 13th March, funny thing is, the passenger I had just dropped off was my boss, his name? Sir Alan Sugar...
Fat Uncle Mark
ENgland - Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 09:50:55 (BST)
"As you may know there is a census coming around on August the 7th [UK Only]. For those who don't know, a census is where the government collates general information about its residents (number of people living in your house, religion, etc) If there are enough people, who put down a religion that isn't mentioned on the census form it becomes a fully recognised and legal religion. It usually takes about 10,000 people to nominate the same religion (although some information suggests that 8,000 will do it)". "It is for this reason that it has been suggested that anyone who does not have a dominant religion to put "Jedi" as their religion. Send this on to all your friends and tell them to put down "Jedi" on their census form. And remember ......If you are a member of the Jedi religion then you are by default a "Jedi Knight". "May the Force be with you!"
the chosen one
krypton - Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 03:11:13 (BST)
when the internet is so full of great shit it'aint half full of boring bollocks 2:50 and this is the best thing to do. bring on summer
country boy
wheaton aston - Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 02:52:44 (BST)
I know this is old but I bought 'Carmageddon' from a bargain bucket at 'Game' today for a fiver and when Installing it, it asks for a password for the unedited version. Does anyone actually know this password?
Speaking of food, those curry flavoured twiglets are yummy. Just gone through a pack. Buy one, get from free from Tescos. Had a cheap day today :)
Russ
UK - Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 02:40:00 (BST)
Sorry to bleat on about internet packages - but has anyone ever used World Online (http://www.worldonline.co.uk/) it looks as if it could be half decent and I really want to know more - no email address though! I really need a new ISP, 'cause I don't think that LibertySurf will allow me another years free off-peak access for £20!
BattleM@n
UK - Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 02:17:57 (BST)
b o r e d b o r e d b o r e d b o r e d c a n ' t s t o p e a t i n g I ' m g o i n g t o e n d u p o b e s s e , a n d I ' l l h a v e t o r o l l e v e r y w h e r e . A R R G G G H H
GRAIL
- Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 01:49:24 (BST)
i like cream (PC case colour) old escort Mk 2's..
mat
bristol - Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 00:45:53 (BST)
yeah, you're right. The only car that can pull off yellow is a VW Beetle. Brown looks good on reeaaally beat up cars... then they're kinda cool. But yellow for sport cars or any other car... it's just wrong.
GRAIL
- Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 00:38:28 (BST)
I want a yellow soft top vitara! I have never seen a purple one you must be privilaged!
Jacqui
uk - Tuesday, April 10, 2001 at 00:07:51 (BST)
I played that Sega VR game in London, years ago. It was a bit shit at first but once you got used to the jerkiness it became quite 'immersive' - then the time ran out and it stopped, which was a bit shit. And yellow VW Beetles are alright.
mat
Bristol - Monday, April 09, 2001 at 22:54:03 (BST)
yeah looks shitty on a regular car, but on a sports car it looks nice. If you want to stand out. I think WHITE is the shittest colour, infact white is the new brown. Brown is shit. No really. what were they thinking in the 1970s?
craaaaig
- Monday, April 09, 2001 at 21:48:04 (BST)
Oh god man, I hope you're kidding me. Yellow cars are so nasty. Ugh. Damn. N-A-S-T-Y.
GRAIL
- Monday, April 09, 2001 at 21:37:52 (BST)
I've been saying this for a while but yellow is the new red when it comes to (good) cars. I think a bright yellow convertable stands out a lot more than a red one. Mind, i saw a aqua blue convertable bmw (not a z3) and that stood out really nice too. Red looks too tacky now.
craig
- Monday, April 09, 2001 at 20:02:43 (BST)
I have a purple Suzuki Vitara - and that's why I feel a tit in it!
BattleM@n
UK - Monday, April 09, 2001 at 18:43:17 (BST)
Thanks for comments on Freeserve Anytime! I got a reply from freeserve saying that I'd sent the email enquiry to the wrong place - Well F***ing forward it on then! I used to take that migrane stuff too - untill I had a MAJOR nosebleed and fainted on the bathroom floor (not to put you off taking it or anything).
BattleM@n
UK - Monday, April 09, 2001 at 18:37:58 (BST)
I don't get why they'd prescribe Tramadolhydrochloride for migraines when one of the side effects are migraines. Crrrrrazy.
GRAIL
- Monday, April 09, 2001 at 12:14:49 (BST)
FUCK! Double post!
Ben Elton and David Baddiel
London Palladium - Monday, April 09, 2001 at 00:33:52 (BST)
Who will buy tickets for our hilarious 2 man show? We are the funniest men in the world! Baddiel's syndrome was a rib tickler! Baddiel: I'll even shave off my stupid goatee!
Ben Elton and David Baddiel
London Palladium - Monday, April 09, 2001 at 00:33:10 (BST)
Who will buy tickets for our hilarious 2 man show? We are the funniest men in the world! Baddiel's syndrome was a rib tickler! Baddiel: I'll even shave off my stupid goatee!
Ben Elton and David Baddiel
London Palladium - Monday, April 09, 2001 at 00:33:07 (BST)
It seemed a bit odd, why did they keep going to really dodgy porn shoots? I think a lot of those porn people put across a false image, see, its got us talking about it thus publicity. clever. www.lukeford.com exposes the porn industry. But yeah... that girl had some problems...
craig
- Sunday, April 08, 2001 at 19:27:16 (BST)
I really felt sorry for that girl in Hardcore on channel4 last night. She must have been stupid to let that MAX fucker, fuck 'er. Almost makes me feel guilty, tossin' off over a load of porn now...it won't stop me though.
mat
bristol - Sunday, April 08, 2001 at 18:44:35 (BST)
I use freeserve anytime and it's fine for me! It wasn't working the other night but apart from that no problems!
Jacqui
UK - Sunday, April 08, 2001 at 17:24:00 (BST)
I used to write about my adventures with freeserve when they first launched that 24/7 thing. Its engaged a lot in the evening, but its OK. I only pay 9pounds a month, but i think its more now. There are no other costs. I think american porn is shit in general, gimme some euro magma porn anyday. Yes, BMW's are nice and tough, thats why i like mine, i feel safe in it. I bet i could drive right through an old mini without a scratch. Maybe a bit of blood on the windscreen though. There, a bit of everything, a varied post!
craig
- Sunday, April 08, 2001 at 13:51:19 (BST)
Red aftershock is more brutal than the shitty blue aftershock - just wanted to clarify
Russ
UK - Sunday, April 08, 2001 at 04:08:56 (BST)
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAAA I didn't think you'd use that 'Grail' thing.... ever. It's pretty neato though. I'm not neglecting the ol' information super highway, just observing. Ooh that reminds me. Driving up to the hospital today, and going along Benton Road, and there was a crash on one of the round-abouts. I didn't see the ACTUAL crash, but the aftermath. It was a mess. One car was totally crumpled, and the other car [a bmw] came away without a scratch. Jammy. Anyway. Check out my shitty journal. I rarely update. And when I do I can never be arsed to write anything food. I mean good. http://www.livejournal.com/users/piesforme/ all you kids better comment..... or die! whattttta choice.
GRAIL
- Sunday, April 08, 2001 at 02:43:30 (BST)
Does anyone use Freeserve Anytime? What's the package like? What are the REAL costs - do I have to pay BT a huge wad of cash for it and wait for days for it to come online (like the HomeTime Package and BT's SurfTogether crap)? I've just emailed Freeserve about it, but i'd like to know what customers think.
BattleM@n
UK - Sunday, April 08, 2001 at 01:39:55 (BST)
5 Easy Ways to be on a BANNED Website List. 1) Porn - the more porn the higher the potential. 2) Celebrity - Try and get Carol 'Media Whore' Vorderman if possible, to publicly 'denounce' your site. 3)Controversy - Stir it up to wake them up. 4) More Porn - never underestimate the power or porn! 5)Tabloids - they love any ol' crap about the internet being evil. Try phoning with the claim that your site promotes stapling babies heads to high-chairs. The authenticity of your statement will probably not be checked (tabloids have better things to do - like taking pictures of drunk celebs) and you may even get a spot on page 23.
BattleM@n
UK - Sunday, April 08, 2001 at 01:30:05 (BST)
Fuckin' hell, that Max Hardcore character's well grim in't he?
boki
- Sunday, April 08, 2001 at 01:25:56 (BST)
Argh... but i want to be banned by cyberpatrol. oparah hu? maybe you can't rant on her because shes too fat.
crrrrraig
- Saturday, April 07, 2001 at 20:20:15 (BST)
Congratulations Mr. R. As of Thursday your site's been blocked by Websense as a "Shopping" site. And why is it that I can't rant when using Opera!?!
DominoD
NI - Saturday, April 07, 2001 at 08:22:46 (BST)
Stop digging.
No, really, i prefer a shaven fanny, or at least a neat fanny.
craig
- Saturday, April 07, 2001 at 02:13:34 (BST)
Shit, don't get me wrong..i'de still shag a hairy muff. i'm not gay or anything....shit, i've really put my foot in it there....oops. Oh yeah, i've had loads of birds, i'de be with one now but there was a coach crash last week and i lost 40 of 'em!
mat
bristol - Saturday, April 07, 2001 at 00:25:41 (BST)
Nothing worse than a hairy muff. My housemate, a german lass, told me she has a hairy arse. "Not the cheeks" she said "only in the crack"...well that's alright then, i said.
mat
bristol - Saturday, April 07, 2001 at 00:23:14 (BST)
I'll tell you something, the young one in it now, Joes daughter, you know the one, shes getting fat - and neighbours only has room for one fat funny man, and thats 'back from the dead' harold. Me thinks neighbours is going to do a 'neighbours' with her soon. read that a couple of times to make sence of it. or don't.
rixxxxxxxxx
- Friday, April 06, 2001 at 22:11:07 (BST)
Watched Neighbours on UK Gold today. That Debbie had bushy eyebrows, her muff must be very hairy.
Russ
UK - Friday, April 06, 2001 at 20:28:16 (BST)
Well, i have going to bed at about 4 in the morning and getting up for neighbours. 'cept today. I slept through neighbours today. sheee-ite muslim.
mat
bristol - Friday, April 06, 2001 at 16:35:51 (BST)
My sleeping is broken again. Rejoyce.
craig
- Friday, April 06, 2001 at 14:09:33 (BST)
My SNES and Amiga emulator works like a fuckin' dream with the 850 processor and all the RAM. Snes is more smooth that the real SNES. Playstation, saturn and N64 here I come.
www.emuunlim.com is an ace emulating site.
Russ
UK - Thursday, April 05, 2001 at 19:28:08 (BST)
Alright you bastards? I was up at 10am. My sleeping is kinda like a normal persons. sort of. only by the weekend it will be well and truely smashed again.

- Thursday, April 05, 2001 at 17:50:47 (BST)
Well, it's 5:30AM. You still up and awake Mr. Rothwell? only 4 1/2 till bedtime ;)
Father time
Everywhere - Thursday, April 05, 2001 at 05:28:17 (BST)
help me. I'm to fat!
Geri halliwell
In the toilets, throwing up - Thursday, April 05, 2001 at 02:31:25 (BST)
Crrraig, what happened to that video give away? What was it, Friday the 13th or something? I know I totally got that question right!!!
GRAIL
- Thursday, April 05, 2001 at 01:02:25 (BST)
10am? 10am? TRY GETTING UP AT 6AM... FUCKERS. I've had to like twice now within a week. ARRRHHHH. I'm in the worst mood!
GRAIL
- Thursday, April 05, 2001 at 00:46:15 (BST)
SHIT. and I avoided posting all around april. arrgh. but i didn't say i liked or disliked them did I.
argh craig
- Tuesday, April 03, 2001 at 23:24:05 (BST)
In red this time (nice horny colour)! Sexoogle isn't too bad. Only real problems seem to be result numbers. Whenever I get no results it says that it's found "-1" instead of "0". Not a problem as such - but it may make a negative impression (feel free to swear at me for the awful pun!) Also, is there any particular reason my searches only come up with a maximum of 50 results - due to testing maybe? Very pleased it found bizzare results such as 'banana' for me though ;)
BattleM@n
UK - Tuesday, April 03, 2001 at 22:05:11 (BST)
Thanks for the link baby! PS - Notice the tastebreak comment came right after the date - April 1st *HINT HINT*! :)
BattleM@n
UK - Tuesday, April 03, 2001 at 21:52:01 (BST)
Just to confirm, we are NOT the same person.
Michael and Latoya Jackson
Never never land - Tuesday, April 03, 2001 at 19:02:55 (BST)
Did the police have to kick your back door in, then come down your back passage? Then fist you. no wait. last bit does not quite work.
julian
- Monday, April 02, 2001 at 23:17:20 (BST)
Awight?
Michael Barrymore
in Hiding - Monday, April 02, 2001 at 19:45:41 (BST)
I see Michael Barrymore is in at the deep end again
Scotty
UK - Monday, April 02, 2001 at 16:08:22 (BST)
They gave me free prawn crackers and pancake rolls at the Chinese takeaway last night. The prawn crackers weren't a big deal they sometimes do that. But the pancake rolls - such generosity! I was touched! I bought a mini-cheescake for dessert to celebrate. I saw Crouching tiger hidden dragon the other day, it was incredible. The lady in the chinese takeaway looked like Jen...a bit
Cesira
- Sunday, April 01, 2001 at 18:21:31 (BST)
If you want to visit my website (you strange twisted people) you can get there by using the following URL in your browser: http://nav.to/battleman100/
BattleM@n
UK - Sunday, April 01, 2001 at 16:25:03 (BST)
Yeah, YEAH. I linked that clip ages ago. psstt... but, i also found it odd how it jumped past sega, the c64, amiga etc. maybe making it 2 parts would have been a better idea. Have you seen matt smiths website? Let me try to remember this. www.the-good-stuff.freeserve.co.uk if i'm wrong play about with that. or someone correct me. I can only assume the good stuff is a bag of wizz or whatever he does.
xraigus
- Sunday, April 01, 2001 at 15:15:10 (BST)
Thumb Candy, shown on C4 tonight, was quite good. It was interesting to find out that games like Space Invaders, Missile Command and Defender were all released before Pacman. But Sega didn't even get a mention. They jumped straight from the NES to the Playstation and I think the speccy was the only 8-bit computer covered. Surprisingly they managed to track down Matt Smith and force him to play his own classic game, Manic Miner on the spectrum. From the look of things he was crap at it, but that's hardly surprising given that he's probably a complete hash head by now. Did you notice how wild and crazy-looking his eyes were? One too many joints in Amsterdam methinks.
Mark
Scotland - Sunday, April 01, 2001 at 02:03:56 (BST)
um, just to say thank you this has been the most entertaining time of my life reading through your site so tanx
iamabilly
uk - Friday, March 30, 2001 at 22:40:58 (BST)
Yep that show IS good. I think its avil as a MPG from www.zxspectrum.com too. Watch it. in fact... main page time.
craiiig
- Friday, March 30, 2001 at 18:47:39 (BST)
Watch Thumb Candy on CH4 this saturday. It charts the history of Videogaming and (shock horror) is rather good! Matt Smith makes an apperance too!
BattleM@n
UK - Friday, March 30, 2001 at 18:38:01 (BST)
Man, you guys suck!!!
jellydonut
usa - Thursday, March 29, 2001 at 23:19:19 (BST)
While looking through the new PC Format, on page 122 I finally found the solution to the question - WHY HAS CAROL VORDERMAN BECOME INVOLVED IN MATTERS SHE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT? The anwser is Educating and Entertaing Your Children online - £17.99 available in all 'good' book retailers.
BattleM@n
UK - Wednesday, March 28, 2001 at 13:31:34 (BST)
Thank you, I'm here all week.
Russ
UK - Monday, March 26, 2001 at 23:04:07 (BST)
Hey, Thanks for the Laugh!
Bri
USA - Monday, March 26, 2001 at 19:52:42 (BST)
I go to computer fayres. I can get 128 MB RAM (PC133 mhz) for £38, I bought a 40 gig hard drive for 100 quid. 850 athlon processor for 85 quid. The memory I bought was faulty but had no trouble returning it.
Also get great books for a tenner each. 1000 page visual basic book, C++ books, loads of them.
Russ
UK - Monday, March 26, 2001 at 04:36:31 (BST)
Well where do you buy your parts from? looking at www.lasertek.co.uk, the cheapest place in newcastle, the sum of the parts is more than the pre-built system.
craig
- Monday, March 26, 2001 at 03:34:35 (BST)
eh? Are you mad? I can build a grand worth PC for 500 quid and sell it for 700 quid. That's definately feasible. Bloody driver Cd was faulty, that's the probpem
Russ
UK - Sunday, March 25, 2001 at 18:17:48 (BST)
maybe not them. i dunno why you bother, surely there is no money to be saved building a computer rather than buying one.
craig
- Sunday, March 25, 2001 at 17:10:41 (BST)
Hi there, are there any PC buffs in here? hope so, I have a bloody problem driving me INSANE and it's 9:00AM -- way past my bedtime. This is a copy and paste of a help I submitted to 32bit.com
If anyone has a clue on what I am on about and any tips, please feel free to respond :)

I have bought a PCpartner motherboard (socket A) with an anthlon 850 processor and 128+256 MB RAM. Now this motherboard states it has on board sound and has the mic in and speakers connector. It's soundblaster compatible too.
First there was NO sound, only the BIOS beep. There is nowhere on the screen to even mess with the sound settings. Tried the install hardware route using the motherboard's disk and Windows 98 SE disk (that is the Op. system I am using). Tried installing the drivers from the motherboard's disk but the PC restarted about 77% of the way through installation. Then I thought I had the little cables installed the wrong way on the motherboard (you know, the ones right next to the little LED conenctor cables). Made NO difference.
I looked again at the manual and the board and I have come across this jumper (4 pin row) called ch25. The label on the jumper is 'aux in'. my question is: What the hell is supposed to be fitted on this jumper. Can't be the CD sound lead to motherboard as that has connections of it's own.
It's 9:00 AM and I have been working on this for about 4 hours now. I have tried everything I thought existed but this aux in thing may the key? There was no sound at all. In the BIOS, I noted it said soundblaster:disabled so I changed it to enabled. As I said, there is NO volume control or volume properties anywhere on the system
Please can someone advise me Before I go insane??
Russ
UK - Saturday, March 24, 2001 at 09:03:20 (GMT)
Funny how that trial echos the trial on TV's emmerdale the way the guy changed his statement etc. and arn't they based at the same court too?
craig
- Thursday, March 22, 2001 at 20:09:59 (GMT)
Freeloader going bust! Now, there is a suprise - NOT!!! For a start there were only about 4 games, and of those only GTA was any good.
BattleM@n
UK - Thursday, March 22, 2001 at 18:21:24 (GMT)
I think they ARE guilty but will be found NOT guilty. Time will tell. Place your bets here :0)
Thingabop
Essex - UK - Thursday, March 22, 2001 at 17:11:02 (GMT)
I wonder if those bastards will be able to buy their not guilty verdict.
ixy
- Thursday, March 22, 2001 at 15:10:14 (GMT)
No you muppet, we are famous football players. WRONGLY accused of beating up Asians. Don't you read the newspapers?
Johnathon Woodgate
Her Majesty's pleasure - Thursday, March 22, 2001 at 04:21:12 (GMT)
The old posts are in the old posts section. I'd have liked to see Sclub7 when the police annoinced the strip search. I can hear them now 'Do you know who we are?'
craigix
- Wednesday, March 21, 2001 at 21:54:53 (GMT)
Intelligent comments from Johnathon Woodgate + Michael Duberry. Are they boyfriends ?
bbingg
UK - Wednesday, March 21, 2001 at 20:56:30 (GMT)
Where are the fucking Asians????? I want to kill Asians NOW!
Johnathon Woodgate + Michael Duberry
the old Bailey - Wednesday, March 21, 2001 at 19:38:38 (GMT)
There ain't no party like an S Club Party Maaaaaannn!!!! Thought there music was better with drugs The S Club 7's Dealer
Scotty
Scotland - Wednesday, March 21, 2001 at 18:04:16 (GMT)
What happened to all the old posts?? Put 'em back Rothwell!
Danny
Cornwall - Tuesday, March 20, 2001 at 21:25:56 (GMT)
to you lot i want a boot disk you aparently sell the
mk2
fgdsg - Tuesday, March 20, 2001 at 16:36:25 (GMT)
to you lot i want a boot disk you aparently sell the
mk2
fgdsg - Tuesday, March 20, 2001 at 16:33:38 (GMT)
This is just a test to make sure this works since i moved the old posts.
craig
- Tuesday, March 20, 2001 at 13:58:15 (GMT)
Yeah... so I stayed awake til 4:30am waiting for that clip on that show you said to watch... and nothing. You're making the whole thing up!
GRAIL
- Monday, March 19, 2001 at 19:02:40 (GMT)
Listen to Iron maiden maybe?

- Monday, March 19, 2001 at 14:44:28 (GMT)
One voice, singing in the darkness! All it takes is one voice...
Barry Manilow
Copocapana - Monday, March 19, 2001 at 03:15:25 (GMT)
.
Charile Chaplin
Hollywood - Sunday, March 18, 2001 at 16:39:10 (GMT)
EEEEEEEEEk... need spectrum games... relive my child hood. eneyone got any idears where I can find some? thanx Ronny.purple@talk21.com
ronny.purple@talk21.com
endland - Sunday, March 18, 2001 at 11:36:51 (GMT)
uhh








-uhh!!
Tarzan
Africa - Sunday, March 18, 2001 at 05:24:22 (GMT)
Depressed, fat, useless, ugly, has been, vitriolic, untrustworthy, slag, unloved, desparate.
Vanesssa
Big bother house - Sunday, March 18, 2001 at 04:32:55 (GMT)
anyone think of any unused topics for my finished tv talk show?
kilroy
- Sunday, March 18, 2001 at 00:16:57 (GMT)
ooooh. it was dead good in town today, I was walking into eldon square, up past where the Mayfair used to be, and the letter box was on fire... or rather the mail inside was. Everyone was just walking past watching, then walking away. So I went into the newsagents and asked for the number for the fire brigade, but they said they'd call Eldon Square people to get a hose. I saved Newcastle from burning down. Hoorah!
GRAIL
- Sunday, March 18, 2001 at 00:07:28 (GMT)
Hi ho Silver away
The Lone Ranger
- Saturday, March 17, 2001 at 20:41:11 (GMT)
I like driving in my car
Suggs
Madness - Saturday, March 17, 2001 at 16:09:00 (GMT)
I see they have installed PCs in the mental institutions these days. I blame Tony Blair myself. Give away anything except to the hard working British folk. 80 grand to a fuckin illegal imigrant the other day. Lisa Potts gets a grand.
What a life
Russ
UK - Saturday, March 17, 2001 at 04:16:59 (GMT)
What the hell...
mat
Bristol - Saturday, March 17, 2001 at 01:35:45 (GMT)
Hmm bit quiet tonight.
jimmy
- Friday, March 16, 2001 at 23:27:24 (GMT)
Now hang on......DO NOT CONTACT ME ....you buttfucks. Heres one for you. There was this farmer...and he didnt have enough money to employ a stablehand. So (this is a really dodgy story, which I KNOW you wont be interested in....but if you are.....then email me) one day, when no one was lookin, he took his .........
calumm@hotmail.com
- Friday, March 16, 2001 at 22:45:40 (GMT)
And this is me..... Thanks folks...I want to develop a meaningful relationship with you...and my email is the place to start.. I want your virtual presence, and I need your hole. OK
calumm@hotmail.com
- Friday, March 16, 2001 at 22:40:03 (GMT)
Hey Hey...joke. But still eh? Dont be a bunch of Ronson Lighters...say what you see....ha ha. Seriously folks....dont take the piss.. child abuse is a serious issue....
calumm@hotmail.com
- Friday, March 16, 2001 at 22:37:49 (GMT)
hey hey....joke! Not a good one I admit ....but still....eh? Happy holidays. Now calm down....relax....sit back down on your Garry Glitters...and chill out with a child....
calumm@hotmail.com
- Friday, March 16, 2001 at 22:35:27 (GMT)
You guys are all pricks... complete fucking child-abusing pricks!!!!!!
calumm@hotmail.com
Britain - Friday, March 16, 2001 at 22:31:49 (GMT)
what a bunch of T-wats. Say something usefull...or, if you dare...get in touch with me via Kipwinger.com ....sign the guestbook...if you are hard enough....I doubt it. Tossers. Love KIP
cockboy...english northerner
england....asshole - Friday, March 16, 2001 at 22:28:57 (GMT)
Cack? It got good reviews in some PC mag and it came with my CD writer. I love it! I have had NO probs with it ever. I have no other CD copier software. My mate has a phillips writer and uses that software though he said he prefers Nero.
I have a tower case already btw
Russ
UK - Friday, March 16, 2001 at 21:15:01 (GMT)
we were told to stay away from Nero when we were buying our CD writer. Apparently it's really cack at some things. Sorry it's so vague, I wasn't listening whrn they were explaining it all.
GRAIL
- Friday, March 16, 2001 at 20:41:10 (GMT)
I imagine a full tower has a stronger power supply as its designed to have many drives.
craig
- Friday, March 16, 2001 at 19:06:20 (GMT)
btw, played Grand theft Auto for 10 hours yesterday. Great game. has anyone got the tank on level 2? It was blocked in. My Mate said I should ram those gates with a coach.
Russ
UK - Friday, March 16, 2001 at 04:28:51 (GMT)
Craig, I need to know what power your PSU is set at. One of the reasons my PC keeps restarting for no reason is cos mine ain't strong enough. Can't remember off the top of my head what wattage it is. Please could you let me know as I am buying a new one very soon. Thanks.
PS: Do you have the Nero software for CD copying? It's the dog's doodah's. Highly recommended
Russ
UK - Friday, March 16, 2001 at 04:05:05 (GMT)
I have 10 seprate drives in a full tower.
A,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K - I dare say if I partitioned them I could have the entire a-z. I bought this monster machine second hand from a guy in Glasgow.
craig
- Thursday, March 15, 2001 at 17:37:00 (GMT)
I just want to say this "dtive posturing" is very sad. I just know you are all just jealous of the working car ciggarette lighter sticking out the front of my machine. .
casper-fly
cornwall........... smoking - Thursday, March 15, 2001 at 05:41:38 (GMT)
10? 2 floppies, 2 hard drives, 2 CD drives, Zip drive?
If you include the partitions, I have 9 drives at the moment. I need another floppy for number 10. Wish I had a lap top :0( This year's loan from the halifax will go on to University fees.
Visual Basic is an Ok language to learn is it not? Visual C++ looks bloody hard. Done a few VC++ projects but couldn't understand what I was doing most the time. VB is childs play.
Russ
UK - Thursday, March 15, 2001 at 00:15:29 (GMT)
I have 10 drives in my computer, is that a record?
craigex
- Wednesday, March 14, 2001 at 23:00:54 (GMT)
I just want everyone to know that I love you all
Y
Z - Wednesday, March 14, 2001 at 21:07:25 (GMT)
I just want everyone to know that the people down my PC repair shop are nobs. They couldn't suss out the problem except I need a powerful PSU to cope with the 5 drives I have. Maybe a faulty motherboard. If I buy another motherboard and there is still a problem then I would of wasted £100 for nowt.
Russ
UK - Wednesday, March 14, 2001 at 03:04:49 (GMT)
no wait.. people use the link thing for that quite a bit. That is unless bbc news wants a real link.
crix
- Tuesday, March 13, 2001 at 22:59:54 (GMT)
Oh ho ho ho thats classic. hehe. I should add an 'add your own stories' thing on the main page.
crix
- Tuesday, March 13, 2001 at 22:51:42 (GMT)
Oh dear.
boki
- Tuesday, March 13, 2001 at 19:56:52 (GMT)
Re Cable vs. ADSL. I'm one of NTL's 22000 and I love it. Can't complain for 20 quid a month.
DaveG
Northern Ireland - Tuesday, March 13, 2001 at 14:30:55 (GMT)
-I know. I keep getting confused between Anthia Turner and Jill Dando. -one is a corpse -I know that. Not the names so much as the faces. Or rather that I think they both have anthia's face. -lol
GRAIL
- Tuesday, March 13, 2001 at 01:02:47 (GMT)
hmmm hmmmmmm that film's so skanky. arrr. makes me want to go bathe. fucking trash.
GRAIL
- Monday, March 12, 2001 at 00:25:03 (GMT)
It does work. does does does dooooooes
craig
- Sunday, March 11, 2001 at 21:25:19 (GMT)
Your C64 porn link don't work Craig. I have soe of that somewhere for Speccy on a disk I got hold of the other year. crap quality pic of a blowjob
Russ
UK - Sunday, March 11, 2001 at 20:39:40 (GMT)
Papa was a rolling Stone
Jade Jagger
London, New York, Paris, the gutter - Sunday, March 11, 2001 at 16:23:06 (GMT)
Aww Gail and Ross. Have we interupted something?

- Sunday, March 11, 2001 at 14:18:59 (GMT)
LOL
Russ
UK - Sunday, March 11, 2001 at 03:53:10 (GMT)
Even the fucking credits are cool 'man who has surf board stolen and looks into camera'..... FUCKING HARDCORE
GRAIL
- Sunday, March 11, 2001 at 03:31:58 (GMT)
what one? there's so many
GRAIL
- Sunday, March 11, 2001 at 03:21:34 (GMT)
I think that guy is dead
Russ
UK - Sunday, March 11, 2001 at 03:19:12 (GMT)
I wanna hook for a hand too.
GRAIL
- Sunday, March 11, 2001 at 03:14:51 (GMT)
Craig Craig Craig... My ICQ's fucked. Soz like pet.
GRAIL
- Sunday, March 11, 2001 at 03:08:31 (GMT)
I go that one right now. Has anyone seem the film ID? About football hooligans? "Get your tools out for the lads Gumbo!" "Fackin' love you Gumbo!".
Scallywags.
Toxic avenger was a good film also.
Russ
UK - Sunday, March 11, 2001 at 03:06:49 (GMT)
ha hahaa excellent. Surf Nazi's Must Die is on channel 4 richt this second. I remember watching this at some point before the summer very very drunk. Thinking back it made a lot more sense then. Still... worth watching for the stupendous effort in the costume department. Bravo Bravo.
GRAIL
- Sunday, March 11, 2001 at 03:00:46 (GMT)
Cheers Craigsta,
I did hear about both versions. I got the film version. See young Mickey pearce from only fools and horses is in it. That rape version was brutal but the film did have it's funny moments too. They closed borstals not long after I heard and one of the reasons was that film.
Russ
UK - Sunday, March 11, 2001 at 02:52:58 (GMT)
russ, if you go back to the archives of my page, 1999 you will see that quote, and a pic of the film. Also, a bit of trivia, there are 2 diffrent versions of that film. One filmed for BBC1 and one is a movie. Some actors are diffrent, and the all look younger in the first making it seem more dark. Oh, and in the first the daddys gets to choose his 'bitch'.
craig
- Sunday, March 11, 2001 at 02:22:54 (GMT)
Anyone seen the borstal film 'Scum' with Ray Winstone?
"Where's ya Fackin' tool??"
"What tool"??
{Gets out metal rod and whack him with it} - "THIS TOOL!!".
"Rub some coal in those wounds you Black Baarstard".

Such scamps!
Russ
UK - Saturday, March 10, 2001 at 21:33:20 (GMT)
sorry, was all serious there for a second.
GRAIL
- Saturday, March 10, 2001 at 04:13:27 (GMT)
well... yeah... it's lack of education.
GRAIL
- Saturday, March 10, 2001 at 04:08:48 (GMT)
LOL - This email I got from mycomputer.com may cheer Craig up as he don't like the .com millionaires and companies:


Dear Russell, On behalf of the MyComputer.com Team, thank you for using our free counter product. Until now, you have enjoyed our free counter without charge. We have supported this service through advertising, but due to a recent and sudden downturn in the Internet advertising industry, MyComputer.com is no longer able to continue offering this free service without incurring substantial losses.

We will, however, continue to offer our paid counter service. In order to express our gratitude for your membership, we are offering both our paid counter, Counter Professional, and our new SuperStats Standard at 50% off the regular yearly price. This is a savings of at least $35 and is by far the greatest discount we’ve ever offered on these products.

As Yahoo is going down the pan ALL others are too. Hope askjeeves stays up, I DO like that service.
Russ
UK - Saturday, March 10, 2001 at 04:06:10 (GMT)
Speaking of the 3rd world. Why the fuck do Ethiopians have kids. If I knew my kid would suffer like that there's NO way I'd get a girl preggers. Why the fuck do these SELFISH bastards do it?? Don't give them food, give them bloody condoms.
Russ
UK - Saturday, March 10, 2001 at 03:36:34 (GMT)
OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWWWW I have got bloody Chicken pox :0( :0( I realised that millons of Indians lived in that river for luck (and religion) but now they have been hit by that Earthquake. meanwhile, I drink lager, get laid and cut my hair reguarly and we have no earthquake over here.. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Russ
UK - Saturday, March 10, 2001 at 03:34:47 (GMT)
yoy yo yyoyoyyo might want to get imesh, thats the new napster isn't it? lets you get movies too.
crixy
- Friday, March 09, 2001 at 19:38:20 (GMT)
piece of shit.
GRAIL
- Friday, March 09, 2001 at 17:18:42 (GMT)
Hold on.... it's working.... sorry, my bad.
GRAIL
- Friday, March 09, 2001 at 17:15:47 (GMT)
awww noooo, that's the end of Napster.
GRAIL
- Friday, March 09, 2001 at 17:12:39 (GMT)
i think i need to watch neighbours, soon. i don't have a clue what everyone's talking aboot. woe, to be behind with neighbours!
andy
hudds, UK - Friday, March 09, 2001 at 11:48:24 (GMT)
mat, how come ther's guff all over this board from you? you not got enough work to do?
andy
UK - Friday, March 09, 2001 at 11:47:18 (GMT)
i might have known i could find mat talking about his latest TV filth fantaseez, somewhere! in response to your post, mat, i think you're missing the point. napster isn't the problem, it's the fact that we live in the age of IP (intellectual property) and most people are just after cash. i say most because not all are that way inclined. look at Richard Stallman, he ain't in it just for cash. we live in an age where people just 'want what's coming to them'. the record industry is just sitting pretty and they see nap as a threat because it's doing them out of their margin. plain and simple. they dress it up as 'you're robbing the artists' when they are the ones who make the largest amounts from the sales of music. if we download an mp3 of a tune, the artist loses a couple of pence from lost sales. the reord label loses a much larger figure. it's only really the labels who care about this. and people like Dr. Dre (f**k the police? not anymore, i don't think. not now they're enforcing laws he likes) and metallica are just after as much wealth as they can get. for what? saving the children? i don't think. a lot of artists don't actually care (i.e. Dave Grohl of Foo Fighters: ' i don't care, i'm already really rich') as they most likely realise it's not losing them too much money. to cut my crap, it's only really the labels that are kicking up the fuss, them and get-rich artists. and that speaks for itself, i think. just you wait, there'll be another napster within months. that's if they aren't already planning the next one. it's like the warez scene, you take 'em down, people put 'em back up, elsewhere. you won't stop it, just make it more difficult. oh, and www.epic45.com
andy
UK - Friday, March 09, 2001 at 11:38:59 (GMT)
I think you lot are onto something... I bet that Flick's a dirty bitch. Crack Whore. Yeaaahhhh.
GRAIL
- Friday, March 09, 2001 at 03:02:54 (GMT)
X-rated Neighbours would have to involve the Scully Girls somewhere, how i adore Flick....in fact Flick and Joel would probably make good porn flicks...hah
mat
bristol - Friday, March 09, 2001 at 02:10:40 (GMT)
There should be an X-rated version of neighbours with toadie getting fisted up the arse by lance.

- Friday, March 09, 2001 at 02:03:25 (GMT)
I want Declan's Mum to give me a blowjob!
Lawyer
Claims direct (if there's a blame, there's a claim) - Friday, March 09, 2001 at 00:25:44 (GMT)
That sounds like a BBS to me. Someone should write a program that lives on IRC servers.
cix
- Thursday, March 08, 2001 at 16:49:47 (GMT)
I got this from 32bit.com's message forum:

Hotline is far superior to crappy Napster. Go download the client at http://www.bigredh.com or you can get the server to let people browse, download, and upload to your computer. You can get ANYTHING on hotline - if you find the right servers. If you have any questions, or want to join my server, then e-mail me. What Hotline is: A free, client to server based program that does not have a central server like Napster. Each server you connect to is someone else's computer. You have to agree to an "Agreement" before you enter a server which has anything the administrator of the server wants in it, example: "Enter the server, enjoy!" or "I am not responsible for the actions you take on downloading copyrighted materials, etc. etc. etc."

Don't know what you guys and gals will think of that but Napster has been bloody great for me. I have found old songs I never thought I'd hear again. You NEVER see a poor record boss do you. You are right Mat. Most of these (ahem) popstars are only in it for the money. Fuck them. Are A1 going to sing something original?? if it's not "Take on me" then it's "Three times a lady" Have they NO Shame??

That bloke with the big mouth in popstars has a face I would like to slap

Russ
UK - Thursday, March 08, 2001 at 04:18:35 (GMT)
Right, I am FED UP with the record industry complaining about Napster and other file sharing systems. Here is why: What is the foremost reason poeple make music? (ignoring current 'music' like SpiceGirls/Britney Spears etc) ...Like why did Mozart or Beethoven make music? Was it to make a quick Buck? I DON'T THINK SO. I think it's more likely that they simply wanted to express themselves through their prefered art, which was music. Now, record industrys are kicking up a fuss about Napster, Why? Is it because they care for the Artists who are getting 'abused' - I DON'T THINK SO. I think we know why and it's because they think they will stop becoming RICH. So what will be the possible repecussions if Napster and similer systems are allowed to go on? Do you HONESTLYbelieve that all of a sudden there will be no more music in the world? Well do you? I DON'T THINK SO. No, i think that if music is in peoples souls (which is where GOOD music comes from) then they will produce it regardless of whether they are making money or not, and anyway people who REALLY appreciate music are not simply interested in forming a huge collection - they want to hear people play music live (which is where, i understand, bands make a substantial proportion of their money). And people who want to form a collection of music on WHATEVER format is the current trend will do anyway. I think the repucusions of file-sharing systems such as Napster, will be the death (hopefully) of TRASHY music that fills the charts today. This is the point where the record industrys are shitting themselves - and this is stupid anyway. It's mainly kids who buy that music anyway - and kids don't want an ethereal format - THEY DEFINATLY want something physical (think pokemon cards!), so the record industry shuouldn't worry anyway. So to conclude my rant - Napster can only be a good thing for music as we know it. Thank you. Please feel free to argue your point against this stance. Mat
mat
Bristol - Thursday, March 08, 2001 at 01:33:11 (GMT)
www.Epic45.com

- Thursday, March 08, 2001 at 00:48:49 (GMT)
Well, you will have to type it into you're browser (i don't know how to get it clickable)...but i just checked it and after the (small) shockwave flash intro loads up i could hear my brother voice singing...
mat
brsitol - Wednesday, March 07, 2001 at 20:52:43 (GMT)
ok, yeah, so the www.epic45.com thing doesn't work.... atleast not for me anyway.
GRAIL
- Wednesday, March 07, 2001 at 17:14:56 (GMT)
Am i allowed to plug my brothers Band's (Epic45) website here or not? anyway download an EXCLUSIVE live track from www.epic45.com !!!!! Ther're good too and i'm not just saying that 'cos he's my brother...
mat
bristol - Wednesday, March 07, 2001 at 16:55:51 (GMT)
I once heard you eat a number of them too, as they are attracted to the mosture in your mouth. I just noticed that CRAIG is almost an anagram of GRAIL.
CRAIG
- Tuesday, March 06, 2001 at 14:08:29 (GMT)
Why not build a 'Spider Trap' on place it on your face before you go to bed at night? This would consist of something a bit like a mouse-trap, only smaller and flies instead of cheese.
mat
bristol - Tuesday, March 06, 2001 at 13:50:18 (GMT)
I might stay awake tonight and count how many run across my face, I'll pretend to be asleep though with some convincing faux snoring..
Fat Uncle Mark
England - Tuesday, March 06, 2001 at 09:56:47 (GMT)
spiders... whatever.... my spelling sucks.... although I'm quite good at it when other people need correcting.
GRAIL
- Tuesday, March 06, 2001 at 00:46:58 (GMT)
I heard that on average 7 spidars crawl across your face every night. It's all true.
GRAIL
- Tuesday, March 06, 2001 at 00:45:12 (GMT)
Oops, You do get 10 MEG not gig (Sorry, I am having simoultanious conversations on the net and got my wires crossed!!) . Apologies :0)
Russ
UK - Monday, March 05, 2001 at 19:46:30 (GMT)
PS, I don't like Spiders. Big ugly black things with 8 legs that run across my bed in the middle of the night.
Russ
UK - Monday, March 05, 2001 at 19:41:54 (GMT)
Yup, there was an article in the mail last week about some kid who writes off to companies and compains all the time and they send hik free goodies through the post. I DO get 10 GIG space thru tesco.net for my website though. Trust me :)
Russ
UK - Monday, March 05, 2001 at 19:40:31 (GMT)
Once when i opened a carton of strawberrys from like spain or somewhere, a huge insect ran out, i have no idea what it was but my mother quickly killed it. It looked evil, like it could sting, and it was much bigger than any of our UK based lame ass insects. We got 2 free packs of strawberys for it anyway. just like the time I got a 5 pound gift voucher because my heinz beans or whatever had no beans in it. You could make quite a bit of money posting off complaints to companys.
criggiiixy
- Monday, March 05, 2001 at 19:00:04 (GMT)
I think you will find you get 10 MEG of space, 10 gig is like 10,000 MB and I can hardly see Tesco giving each user that much. Although whilst on the Tesco thread, my mate used to work in Tescos and was unboxing some bananas when he found a dead tarantula all curled up inside one. He wanted to keep it but supposedly you have to report them and they get taken away by government officials or something.. It would be even cooler finding a live one...
Fat Uncle Mark
England - Monday, March 05, 2001 at 18:38:47 (GMT)
LOL!! Sorry Craigus, I mean 10 gig of SPACE!! I want to do screen capturing pretty soon and creadi AVI clips for my site but 10 gig ain't enough space. I tried to register with freenetname but thei r instructions were so damn difficlult and my PC didn't like it at all (I phoned up the help line but the staff couldn't help me). I am doing a HNC at the mo in all this PC malarky so I do know what I doing and I don't need their patronising attitude with everyone who phones for a bit of advice. Did you report they are going down???

Russ
UK - Monday, March 05, 2001 at 18:17:22 (GMT)
You get 10gig of bandwidth a month? or a year? Because a month would be excellent.
craig
- Monday, March 05, 2001 at 17:58:14 (GMT)
Hi all. My webpage is with tesco net (I know I know!!) and I only get 10 gig. Is it possible, to sign up to say 4 different servers, create 4 webpages (at say 10 gig each) and link them up? Some parts of the net is for WEIRDOs (are you listening gary Glitter??) and that should be stopped. But bad language, naked women etc, I don't see why they would stop that as you can see porn movies on SKY and get 'hot and lusty' at the top shelf of your 'family' newsagents.

Why does everyone get so happy when it snows??? I HATE the snow. Let the sun-shine instead!!

Russ
UK - Monday, March 05, 2001 at 17:50:01 (GMT)
Bandwidth *shudder*
craig
- Monday, March 05, 2001 at 15:12:13 (GMT)
It should of read..... Q: What do you call a dog with no nose...... but its not so funny now I have fucked it up in the previous post.... nevermind...
Fat Uncle Mark
England - Monday, March 05, 2001 at 13:45:51 (GMT)
Q: What do you call a dog with no name? A: Daniella Westbrook. Ho ho...
Fat Uncle Mark
England - Monday, March 05, 2001 at 13:37:01 (GMT)
Neil, the webmaster, is really the best person to speak to about all this techie stuff. The people we're having problems with are Fasthosts, who were hosting the fuckingnoddy.com domain, and that's where we were keeping the message board and big downloads. It's just the html that's kept on UKOnline, who've never had a problem with our content, but we had to move the files from there because the bandwidth usage went right through the roof!
boki
- Monday, March 05, 2001 at 13:16:02 (GMT)
I GOT THE JACKPOT... ME ME ME
GRAIL
- Monday, March 05, 2001 at 01:48:54 (GMT)
or at least the parts your not allowed on ukonline, it is uk online isn't it? because your domain is regged to an american company.
craig again
- Monday, March 05, 2001 at 01:37:23 (GMT)
Hey boki, want me to host you?
crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraig
- Monday, March 05, 2001 at 01:36:09 (GMT)
Myopia: I would agree with you in the case of sites either depicting or inciting abuse and hate crimes, but we're talking about webspace being pulled because it's aimed at a mature audience. All of the material they objected to has been published or broadcast in the UK (which does after all have rather stringent guidelines). Fasthosts are being over-zealous and if other providers follow their lead things are just going to get (even more) ridiculous!
boki
- Sunday, March 04, 2001 at 19:08:25 (GMT)
How very eloquent.
boki
- Sunday, March 04, 2001 at 18:55:32 (GMT)
cunt
cunt
cunt - Sunday, March 04, 2001 at 16:48:09 (GMT)
i want to fuck anna-marie and suck her tits
tosspot
spain - Sunday, March 04, 2001 at 16:42:52 (GMT)
Okay 'myopia', please inform me (and everyone else) under what circumstances censership is a good thing. Surely it goes against freedom of speech every time?
mat
Bristol - Sunday, March 04, 2001 at 12:41:33 (GMT)
you from china are you? ;p
jimmy
- Saturday, March 03, 2001 at 23:19:10 (GMT)
censorship is often a good thing, thing more before you all slam it
myopia
- Saturday, March 03, 2001 at 22:51:37 (GMT)
'Protect the children' typical trojan horse tactics.
crix
- Saturday, March 03, 2001 at 02:12:39 (GMT)
JEESUZ CHRIST ALMIGHTY, NET CENSORSHIP!!! this can't be happening, is this a weird paranoid dream? You can't censor the 'net, it goes against the whole FUCKING point...Okay Kids (maybe) should be shielded from the realitys of the world, but that's why IE has built in content advisor features (that stopped me looking at porn the other day)...jeez-Loiuse.
mat
bristol - Saturday, March 03, 2001 at 01:44:10 (GMT)
its an american one? freedom of speech and all that, wonder why they are censoring you...
craigafix
- Saturday, March 03, 2001 at 00:28:15 (GMT)
whos your host boki? actually.. i'll look. then suggest...
crigxy
- Saturday, March 03, 2001 at 00:19:32 (GMT)
Craig, regarding the story about Aussie net censor gits, we're having a similar sort of problem over at Cook'd & Bomb'd. Fuckin' disgrace, innit?
boki
- Friday, March 02, 2001 at 17:51:30 (GMT)
Grr, if you see them there aliens tell 'em if they come round again I'm gonna smack 'em with this 'ere scafold pole. That will learn them not to mess with a mans poophole. Grr grr grr
Mr Red
- Friday, March 02, 2001 at 15:55:06 (GMT)
Grrr, You won't get anything outta me you know all bast**ds. I hate you and all your stupid fu**ing tests. I lay awake at night just thinking what thing I could do to you Grrr grrrr grrr
Mr Red
- Friday, March 02, 2001 at 00:41:54 (GMT)
"This is a test designed to produce an emotional response"
mat
bristol - Thursday, March 01, 2001 at 23:03:18 (GMT)
I fucking *really* fucking hate that fucking Kelloggs Variety pack fucking octopus. Fucker.
boki
- Thursday, March 01, 2001 at 21:24:14 (GMT)
I fight to win. For me

FOR ME!!!!
Ivan Drago
Russia - Thursday, March 01, 2001 at 17:08:36 (GMT)
We are vampires, come closer.
Drac
- Thursday, March 01, 2001 at 15:10:39 (GMT)
What?
What the heck are you all on here?
Ukraine (Spain and Russia) - Thursday, March 01, 2001 at 12:59:44 (GMT)
Hey, there are at LEAST 5 updates a day. AND you got 2 pictures in a row. I'm busy working on live video show. I mean WE are, that is me and the crew. I'll fucking cover the page in JAVA if your not careful and how about some flash, always goes down well, and a few adverts and popups. MMmmmm tasty. ;p and some female ejeculation.
cdworld
- Thursday, March 01, 2001 at 00:16:33 (GMT)
Dear cdworld.co.uk, Why oh why oh why oh why are the updates so irregular lately? Having being a regular subscriber for several months now, i am thoroughly disappointed at the lack of new and interesting articles. If this carries on any longer, i may have to rethink renewing my subscription. Oh, and while we're at it, can't you make it any cheaper than £0? It's a lot to ask for such a crummy site. Yours disappointedly, Mat
mat
Bristol - Wednesday, February 28, 2001 at 22:49:17 (GMT)
Russ, Put in win 95 boot disk, boot PC, you will get the DOS prompt. Goto fdisk, delete all the partitions, create main one with maximum size adn then reboot the PC with the disk still in, then at the dos prompt, format it.
Actually there are problems with h/drives over 38 gig so better to partition it in 2. 1 * 35gig and a for 5 gig (for your LINUX/UNIX)
Carl
Havering college/ UK - Wednesday, February 28, 2001 at 20:29:37 (GMT)
Well windows uses a diffrent format to dos I think, so formating with an old dos would certainly totally erase the disk and tell you if there was a problem. I always install windows95 if I can, simply because its much faster and more reliable than 98. But I guess it all depends on what your doing with the computer. You might have to take a trip to the local computer store ;) don't get the train though, or you will be delayed then probably derailed.
craiggixy
- Wednesday, February 28, 2001 at 18:03:43 (GMT)
Thanks for the feedback guys :) I formatted the h/drive in another machine but the problem remains. Craigo: Not sure what you mean by old DOS. I have version 4.111 but don't know what difference it can make. Windows installs but with registry errors which stops me from installing software, opening my account in outlook express, can't detect modem (yup, I am @ college again) and lots more. AMD motherboards are supposed to be a pisser but never knoew it would be THIS much hassle (ont eh other hand, my phone bills have come down substantially)
Russ
UK - Wednesday, February 28, 2001 at 17:30:11 (GMT)
Russ, boot to old DOS with a floppy disk and format it with the old dos format command (and old fdisk). And once again, the only thing girls can ejeculate would be piss.
craaaigus
- Tuesday, February 27, 2001 at 00:24:11 (GMT)
Yeah I do have the oppurtunity. I won't do anything though! I would hope my current partner wouldn't either. You never know these days in times do ya!
Plainy
Uk - Tuesday, February 27, 2001 at 00:04:13 (GMT)
Plainy, from your comments am i right in thinking that you have the opertunity to do the deed, i say go for it, what your partner doesn't know wont hurt, do you think your regular partner would do the same if it was on the other foot? hmmm
sweeeevs
- Monday, February 26, 2001 at 22:15:09 (GMT)
i hate farmers, because they piss me off, and their wives are normally fat and smell of pig-poo.
Interceptor
heresville - Monday, February 26, 2001 at 20:58:22 (GMT)
Russ- Remove partitions using fdisk then install LINUX on H/D (Win-x is shit), then check on Fdisk 'number 4' display partition information. Try putting Win back on it. do 3 partitons, c: - windows, d: blank and e: Linux as you are supposed to have a blank partition between to partitions according to a mag I have.
PS, I know girl who ejaculate >D we call those girls 'gushers'
Lee
UK - Monday, February 26, 2001 at 19:53:23 (GMT)
If I was seriously with a girlfriend I wouldn't do it but if I was casual then I would
mind you, I haven't been serious about anyone in years.
Russ
UK - Monday, February 26, 2001 at 18:05:28 (GMT)
HELP!! I formatted my hard drive in another PC last night but it's still the same.
I am falling behind my work. If I can;t fuix it soon, I will take it down the shop. Good news though is that I have been offered a University course in software engineering if I am successful with my HNC (YAY!!)
Can anyone help meeeeee???? I may have to resort to taking it down the PC shop soon :0( thieving bastards charge £40 for just looking at it!!
Russ
UK - Monday, February 26, 2001 at 18:04:11 (GMT)
If someone offered you the chance to be with them and your boyfriend or girlfriend would never find out. Would you go for it?
Plainy
UK - Monday, February 26, 2001 at 14:11:05 (GMT)
that's some shitty parking Craig, you're practically on the pavement
GRAIL
- Sunday, February 25, 2001 at 17:30:17 (GMT)
when you say "where is everybody?" you mean "where's grrrail?" don't you? you do, you do, you SO do.
GRAIL
- Sunday, February 25, 2001 at 16:43:26 (GMT)
Gail gail gail gail!

- Sunday, February 25, 2001 at 13:22:58 (GMT)
I think I must look like a prostitute or something... came out the chinese take away last night and some kids are like "here yeee, you're not bad, d'you wanna fucking shag?" fucking charvers.
G G G GRAIL
- Sunday, February 25, 2001 at 13:04:15 (GMT)
ha ahahaha haha I just saw 2 people walk past my front window. I thought they had a lawnmower, but it turned out to be a baby... hahahahhahaa I'm amused.
GRAAAAAAAAIL
- Sunday, February 25, 2001 at 12:58:31 (GMT)
OK if you think your girlfriend ejeculates, read this long article on it.
craig
- Friday, February 23, 2001 at 15:28:43 (GMT)
I might have made that phrase up, or maybe not. BUT thats what happens.
craig
- Friday, February 23, 2001 at 01:09:44 (GMT)
Muscle spasm eh? that sounds a bit technical...
mat
bristol - Friday, February 23, 2001 at 00:24:20 (GMT)
I though low level format could damage certain HDs? Yeahhh the squirting, i've seen so much ooze its dripped down, but never ever ever squirted, even during orgasm. Heeeyyy! its snowing! cool. yeah anyway, the medical world does not seem to think it can happen. Neither does www.lukeford.com, expert porn reporter guy. BUT if 2 of you say your girlfriends do it, it can't be THAT rare... I still think its just piss though, pushed out by muscle spasm during sex or orgasm.
craig
- Friday, February 23, 2001 at 00:00:31 (GMT)
Re HD prob - You could also try doing a LOW LEVEL FORMAT (normally availible in the Bios IDE Devices menu) then booting using a Win98 setup disk. Use Fdisk to create a partiction and set it active.. format it and then install windoze. After this THEN use things like PQM to play with the partition layout. You will actually find by doing this you no longer need an extended partion as you can have more than one primary these days! If you don't want to do all this, you may get away with just fixing the Mast Boot Record, as it looks like this is the cause of the problem. This can be Re-build by using the following: 1. Boot up with floppy/Cd 2. go to C: prompt (or the offending Hard drive) 3. type "fisk /mbr" 4. Reboot.. and try now! ok right, back to trying to find Bobble Bubble for the Pc ;o) (btw. My g/f is also one of these rare females... but only after a good deal of erm.. "turning on" - ANYWAY!)
Stef AKA ^Kovu^
Bath/London - UK - Thursday, February 22, 2001 at 21:17:42 (GMT)
I want to know more, where does it squirt from?
also, russ, put your HD in another computer and format it again. I hate windows, i've never seen it allow you to format to a 'new' standard then back to an old one. always needs totally killing by another computer.
craig
- Thursday, February 22, 2001 at 21:01:17 (GMT)
Women CAN ejaculate, my current girlfriend is one of these raritys who do actually 'spurt' natural female lubricates when HIGHLY aroused and having a huge fuck-off orgasm. It isn't a myth but it is very rare.. Way off topic now, if you are a guitar aficionado then download Eugenes Trick Bag (the full nine minutes) by Steve Vai from Napster, if you have ever seen the film 'Crossroads' starring that bloke from Karate Kid then this is the section at the end of the film where "karatekid" goes up against the devils guitarist jack butler (Vai)in a guitar duel. Awesome bit of music..
Mark
England - Thursday, February 22, 2001 at 19:38:03 (GMT)
My PC is fucked (I am @ college now). I bought a new hard drive and partitioned it in 4 but I changed my mind and deleted the partitions and formatted the drive and put in the system restore pack for Win 98. Problem is there is a massive registry problem than even Norton's utilities can't solve. Does any one know how to correct registry problems?? I formatted the disk a few times and tried to install Win98 by dong the e:setup command. As it installs, I keep getting shit loads of error messages. Has anyone had any probs like this?? I am gonn have to take it down the shop if I can't get it fixed :(
RUSS
UK - Thursday, February 22, 2001 at 17:01:58 (GMT)
"Fanny ooze"??? LOL
Russ
UK - Thursday, February 22, 2001 at 16:41:12 (GMT)
Pornographers began removing pee pee from their movies in the 1980s for fear of prosecution for obscenity. As a way of satisfying the desire to see watersports, they invented the notion of "female ejaculation," a fancy name for pee. The only connection to the female urethra, the source of all "female ejaculation," is the urinary tract.
\
- Thursday, February 22, 2001 at 01:19:16 (GMT)
Who lives in grange hill? Girls cum: Righhhtt remember Helen? she was doing her degree in Biology and we discussed this and let me tell you, there isn't anything there to make a girl cum, all it could be was piss, or fanny ooze. Making them cum certainly mades them wet, but I've never seen it fly out like... well like piss. If cum did come out: YOUR SHAGGING A MID SEX CHANGE MAN.
craig
- Thursday, February 22, 2001 at 01:15:54 (GMT)
It's true, I used to have a video where a bloke takes a hands on approach to the girl and you see her spurt. I was really amazed when I saw it for the first time, I was only a kid and I didn't think girls did that kind of thing (yyou can start the jokes here!....
casper-fly
cornwall - Wednesday, February 21, 2001 at 23:07:22 (GMT)
Yeah its the IE content advisor, yunno for the Kids. Anywaze, it has bizzarly re-configured itself to allow to look at porn and of course the best site is www.purextc.com ...And Craig, with reference to female ejaculation:- Apparently (although i have never witnessed it for real, but don't get me wrong i HAVE made a female cum..i think, shit i'm getting worried now) when a female orgasms she produces a shit load of that yummy lubrication liquid...this, i have read somewhere. There are, however, lots of porn vids on the net, that claim to be female ejaculation which are in fact merely watersports...which is nothing to be sniffed at...
mat
bristol - Wednesday, February 21, 2001 at 21:53:02 (GMT)
I thought you could change the settings in Internet Explorer and where it lets you see porn sites. Can't remember off the top of my head exactly where it is but it's in the settings panel somewhere.
Totenham court road?? That is on the central line. Look to the West of the central map and see Grange Hill? I live there and I work in Gants Hill.

Russ
UK - Wednesday, February 21, 2001 at 17:19:32 (GMT)
there is only one porn site you should ever need, www.worldsex.com see if that works. I didn't even know IE could censor content, maybe i have an old old old version. download opera insted, its just better.
cccraig
- Wednesday, February 21, 2001 at 00:42:21 (GMT)
Christ you people are all still here.
jimmy
uk - Monday, February 19, 2001 at 23:46:32 (GMT)
Hi Russ, yep, back in Watford now In a cybercaf in Tottenham Court Road cos i still havent got a comp. Just came to say hi to u and Craigo and everyone else that are regulars. Hope nut is ok, maybe his God has chosen him for some magnificant task and he is busy but happy? Or maybe he just got bored of us all ;-) Wow Nipplo, didnt know you had made a game for GAMEBOY!!! Very impressive!
marsiansheep
uk - Monday, February 19, 2001 at 21:13:01 (GMT)
For some reason i can't access porn sites anymore as Iternet Explorer's content advisor won't let me. I also can't change it as i don't know (and have never set) the password. Anyone ever had a similer problem? It's kinda good i suppose, maybe there's a 'moral virus' going around...
mat
bristol - Monday, February 19, 2001 at 16:32:14 (GMT)
Mp p500 laptop can emu a psx, so you should have no problemo. Also, everyone, i've cut down the size of this page as it was causing Internet Explorer to hang on some occasions ;p just toooo much text for it to take!
craigix
- Monday, February 19, 2001 at 01:43:38 (GMT)
Thanks Craig.
I just updated my PC to 850 processor and 392 MB RAM so will be looking into N64 and play station emulating pretty soon when I have caught up with college. I will definately let you know how I get on thru this page. www.emuunlim.com is a good site for emulators.





What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his arse! (Sorry)
Russ
UK - Sunday, February 18, 2001 at 21:50:38 (GMT)
I was at the metro station yesterday and there was a load of police and half the TA at Tynemouth station fining loads of kids who were hopping the metro. But when I got on the metro I was surrounded by a tribe of charvers, they offered me £5 to strip for them all. Kids today. Pssh.
GRAIL
- Saturday, February 17, 2001 at 01:47:51 (GMT)
get it... go on.... just buy it.
GRAIL
- Saturday, February 17, 2001 at 01:01:28 (GMT)
oh, and x128 is my emu of choice, you need to look for the jsw file format page, but its quite complex, best to get the good editors, the manic miner one is really good.
craiigg
- Thursday, February 15, 2001 at 14:04:39 (GMT)
Someone else is doing a dizzy game. I've played it, its pretty good, very much like the amiga versions. Its a conversion of the first dizzy game though, which was not on the amiga.
craig
- Thursday, February 15, 2001 at 02:31:23 (GMT)
Craig, I was designing and programming my own manic miner game (Miner Willy meets Abbott and Costello) but the emu (speccy) I am using is shit. ZX32 I think I have - been a few months since I been on it - What emu would U recommend to fuck about with the memory, recode etc? I have the Manic miner and the JSW editor but I would rather learn the codes.

NAy plans to do any dizzy games?? :0) Over at yolkfolk.com they did a remake of Dizzy for Win 9x but it plays pretty poor and is a whopping file size.
Russ
UK - Wednesday, February 14, 2001 at 20:21:47 (GMT)
I made a game on the gameboy, which should be published some time soon by midas (I made it last year!) all I can do is wait until they fit it into their release schedule, I'm not bothered though as I have already been paid. I'll be doing some classics for the gameboy advance too as I get used to it, I'll release them free. Might do my own spectrum emu for it too :)
craig
- Wednesday, February 14, 2001 at 19:26:25 (GMT)
Hiya Marsian Sheep. Are you in Watford still? Sod knows what happened to the nut.
Craigo, have you any plans to remake more classic games??
Russ
UK - Wednesday, February 14, 2001 at 18:31:39 (GMT)
Do me a vanilla rap gail
crog
- Wednesday, February 14, 2001 at 18:00:47 (GMT)
When do I get it, man?
GRAIL
- Wednesday, February 14, 2001 at 00:51:28 (GMT)
i love popstrz - not that keen on Darius though
marsiansheep
uk - Tuesday, February 13, 2001 at 15:27:59 (GMT)
Hello, Russ, Craigy etc, where religious nut? Has he retired to a religious haven? Well, i can see your lives go on without me ha ha. Long live Fraggle rock and 80s music yay
Marsiansheep
UK - Tuesday, February 13, 2001 at 15:26:48 (GMT)
Its yours.
craiiig
- Monday, February 12, 2001 at 01:57:46 (GMT)
I want the Vanilla Ice record. Damn that guy rocks... yeaah... word to yo mothaaaa
GRAIL
- Monday, February 12, 2001 at 01:34:31 (GMT)
Yes, its with the picture of darius from popstars.

- Sunday, February 11, 2001 at 21:15:31 (GMT)
Craig, did we ever find out who won the Robocop question....
Sweeeeeeeeeeeeev
- Sunday, February 11, 2001 at 20:15:45 (GMT)
damn, i thought i was rid of it.
cragus rock
- Sunday, February 11, 2001 at 18:17:48 (GMT)
Nah, you hang on to Ice, Craig. Or you could chuck him. I bet it'd make a nice frisbee!
boki
- Sunday, February 11, 2001 at 00:10:31 (GMT)
7-inches-up thats it! you win! Ice Ice baby! Do you want vanilla then? You have to publicly demand your copy of vanilla ice's record.
craig
- Saturday, February 10, 2001 at 23:28:10 (GMT)
That Jap viagra drink ought to be called 7-Inches-Up.
boki
- Saturday, February 10, 2001 at 16:53:59 (GMT)
spit.
Spit the dog
uk - Saturday, February 10, 2001 at 15:01:35 (GMT)
Boom Boom
Basil Brush
- Friday, February 09, 2001 at 18:34:25 (GMT)
Megadrive Emu's? I had a Megadrive and there were no Emu's in mine :/
Rod Hull
In Limbo - Friday, February 09, 2001 at 13:21:44 (GMT)
apparently they have lowered the price again and you can get new Dreamcast's for £50 in Japan. It's starting to sound more worth it now!
casper-fly
Cornwall - Friday, February 09, 2001 at 06:51:11 (GMT)
Yeah, and the SNES and the gameboy :) The megadrive seems more magical to play on the DC though, maybe because the emu is pretty damn good. And the megadrive has some cool shoot-em-ups! You might want to get a GBA too - for the portable speccy emu!
craig
- Friday, February 09, 2001 at 01:48:48 (GMT)
+Now that might convince me it's worth buying a dreamcast - to play emulated games...Have you tried the Spectrum Emulator yet Craig? bloody great stuff.
mat
bristol - Thursday, February 08, 2001 at 22:51:03 (GMT)
yes gail, the book is spelt with an S. Now, back to my dreamcast megadrive frenzy.
craig
- Thursday, February 08, 2001 at 19:57:09 (GMT)
sorry sorry, is cemetary really spelled with an 's'... that's my terrible spelling for you. Dolores Claiborne is canny.
GRAIL
- Thursday, February 08, 2001 at 01:20:02 (GMT)
but Pet Cemetary 2 is pretty fancy... edward furlong... awwwwwwww droool... awwwwww....
GRAIL
- Thursday, February 08, 2001 at 01:17:56 (GMT)
Doing some research on carrie, there is indeed another version, although the 'censored version' was apparently lost. So the bbc have something of a unique cut. Also, Pet sematary is shit. The translator thing IS weird. maybe they are using 2 diffrent bits of software.
craig
- Wednesday, February 07, 2001 at 21:03:09 (GMT)
try putting the spannish thing through the translator a few more times and you end up with a load of garbbled crap. do the translators work well or do they just give you a close similarity of the word Test....... Jelly beans on toast translated to spanish becomes habas de jalea en tostada translated to english becomes habas of toasted jelly in why does it not say jelly beans on toast when translated back????????????????
Sweevo
Scottyland - Wednesday, February 07, 2001 at 17:08:57 (GMT)
try putting the spannish thing through the translator a few more times and you end up with a load of garbbled crap. do the translators work well or do they just give you a close similarity of the word Test....... Jelly beans on toast translated to spanish becomes habas de jalea en tostada translated to english becomes habas of toasted jelly in why does it not say jelly beans on toast when translated back????????????????
Sweevo
Scottyland - Wednesday, February 07, 2001 at 17:08:10 (GMT)
oh, and I did mentally "expect" to see boobs in the first scene of Carrie but it might have just been excited from when I first saw it as a kid (a bit like Stripes in that respect)
casper-fly
cornwall - Wednesday, February 07, 2001 at 16:43:56 (GMT)
Yeah I would have totally agreed with you. I went to a site and found out he has had some good results though; Green Mile, Pet Sematary, Misery, Dolores Claiborne, The Lawnmower Man (this might have been shit actually), Maximum Overdrive, Cat's Eye, Children of the Corn (is this the one with Christopher Reeve?), The Shining, The Shawshank Redemption (top film). Out of 42 films ( and tons of stuff like the outer limits, twilight zone and tales from the darkside) only about 13 have been any good, thats a percentage of 30.952, Pretty shit Mr King, note to yourself *must try harder*
casper-fly
cornwall - Wednesday, February 07, 2001 at 16:39:44 (GMT)
i put 'c's bit of spanish text (coupla pages down) through http://babelfish.altavista.com/ ...i wonder if it makes any kind of sense? "To all my Spanish friends who. I am going to be a FATHER, more of last night not pounding, not more of fast cars, not more of holidays to my resource of the favorite, Great Canary with my friends, I"
mat
bristol - Wednesday, February 07, 2001 at 12:01:36 (GMT)
now i think about it, almost every single stephen king film is shit. Its like a curse. Does he just sell the rights to anyone? mind - The running man is pretty cool. 'Killian! I'll be back!'... 'Only in a re-run!'
craigg
- Wednesday, February 07, 2001 at 00:20:09 (GMT)
huh?
Casper
USA - Tuesday, February 06, 2001 at 23:14:43 (GMT)
Yah yah
GRAIL
- Tuesday, February 06, 2001 at 00:38:39 (GMT)
When I said 'Yeah Yeah' in the post under this, well it sounds rude, BUT i was supposed to be saying it in an excited manner. Just clarifying that.
craig again
- Monday, February 05, 2001 at 15:00:54 (GMT)
Yeah yeah, but does anyone have carrie on video? Was I right about the opening being from a diffrent cut? I'm SO sure all the people in the changing room were naked the last time I saw it.
craig
- Monday, February 05, 2001 at 14:57:42 (GMT)
I prefered the book, they missed out a ton of stuff from the end. In the book it explains her walking home from the sports hall and just basically kills everyone she sees ending up with a huge bodycount ala James Herbert. Apart from that it was really well done IMO.
casper-fly
cornwall - Monday, February 05, 2001 at 02:21:50 (GMT)
OH MY GOD!! I got such a fright at the end of carrie! I've never watched right til the end before, aaaahhhhhhhhh. A good night all round on the film front, saw the director's cut of The Big Sleep, then Carrie.... good stuff.
GRAIL
- Monday, February 05, 2001 at 00:40:02 (GMT)
Exterminate me baby one more....
*high pitched whistle* tiiiiiimeeeeee.
Davros
UK - Sunday, February 04, 2001 at 19:46:10 (GMT)
I'll kill you, i'll kill you all, someone get me some MILK!
craaaaaaaaig
- Saturday, February 03, 2001 at 01:28:53 (GMT)
Don't worry, Craig, there's nothing wrong with being de sexychick!
That masquerading git again
- Thursday, February 01, 2001 at 21:12:21 (GMT)
IRC tried to locate this but get no where Craigs please help
Pat
NI - Thursday, February 01, 2001 at 19:03:27 (GMT)
Here's a nice link: http://www.sinclairspectrum.com watch it, though, them files are pretty big.
It's "Masquerading" btw
- Wednesday, January 31, 2001 at 21:34:53 (GMT)
well thats just great, whoever you are. :)
craigo
- Wednesday, January 31, 2001 at 19:59:23 (GMT)
A todos mis amigos españoles que.. voy a ser un PADRE, no más de última noche aporreando, no más de coches rápidos, no más de días de fiesta a mi recurso del favorito, Gran Canaria con mis amigos, yo
c
UK - Tuesday, January 30, 2001 at 23:18:05 (GMT)
Well that's the end, no more fast cars, computer games, gadgets, holidays abraod with the mates, going to the clubs and all thing i used to be able to do so freely before.... i've just been told by the good lady i'm to be a DAD, WAYHEYYYYYYYY!!!!
C
UK - Tuesday, January 30, 2001 at 23:13:24 (GMT)
Mark! you wanted me to identify that film (include email ;) anyway, had a thought about it and could it be the poor mans remake of 'Invasion of the body snatchers' I'm talking about the 2nd remake, not the one with 'immortal' Jeff Goldblum. Thats all I can think of anyway, I only have vague memorys of that film.
Craig
- Tuesday, January 30, 2001 at 21:37:43 (GMT)
Queer
as a rear
- Tuesday, January 30, 2001 at 19:37:20 (GMT)
Odd...
as a Pod
- Tuesday, January 30, 2001 at 16:29:38 (GMT)
I see it's February in a day or 2 - the Co op are selling Easter eggs. Commercialism anyone?
Possessed
London - Tuesday, January 30, 2001 at 04:15:12 (GMT)
Shes gone straight to the police I believe ;p
benny
- Monday, January 29, 2001 at 21:31:20 (GMT)
Where's that bird Jaqui, you know, the one with tits? Cor, etc. She was nice, etc. Roar...I'm off to have an etc.
Kyle's Mom
Is a bitch - Monday, January 29, 2001 at 14:49:46 (GMT)
There's a nice song for the Americans For Purity at: http://artists.mp3s.com/artists/189/cheese_cake_truck.html
boki
- Sunday, January 28, 2001 at 20:05:07 (GMT)
Does anyone know where I can get a copy of Microsoft Liquid motion? Microsoft have discontinued it. Can trade. email doddrussell@hotmail.com
Russ
Essex - UK - Saturday, January 27, 2001 at 16:23:51 (GMT)
yup surey kayey. its rather dead in here, maybe everyone will come back as zombies.
craigoooow
- Friday, January 26, 2001 at 22:44:32 (GMT)
Ah you got the Western Union thing, splendid. I'm tired so I'm not gonna be online, but cya soon!
*fat mice*
Kaysy
UKsy - Friday, January 26, 2001 at 18:56:03 (GMT)
Oh, jacqui? Whats the matter? Where have you gone?
craig
- Tuesday, January 23, 2001 at 21:22:41 (GMT)
Right, i've been looking into downloading movies, and I find the best place to find them is IRC, just about every single film i looked for was there, even ones not released yet. Now i just need my adsl connection...
craig
- Tuesday, January 23, 2001 at 21:21:49 (GMT)
Helpppppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!
Plainy
uk - Tuesday, January 23, 2001 at 18:59:38 (GMT)
freeserve is getting hard to get on again too
jimbo
- Friday, January 19, 2001 at 23:05:21 (GMT)
Just want to say that NTL is SHIT!!!!!!! CONSTANT ENGAGED TONE!! Also, on the instructions, it never gave the phone number your modem needs to contact their server. How can you find that out without getting on line to their homepage?? I haven't been able to connect in 2 days now. Anyone else had problems?
Russ
UK - Friday, January 19, 2001 at 19:20:48 (GMT)
Sorry, I had a brain lapse. I meant to say the PO where I go is full of Indian Women who can't speak English. I have been bitching about work so much lately, it was second nature
Russ
UK - Friday, January 19, 2001 at 03:31:52 (GMT)
so in fact, it makes you want to be a porn dealer. nice.

- Thursday, January 18, 2001 at 21:34:51 (GMT)
MAN, is 8mm a shocking film or what? It makes me want to throw away all my porn vids (or at least sell them to friends!)
Casper-fly
cornwall - Thursday, January 18, 2001 at 16:19:38 (GMT)
Hear about that case where they found human sperm in a roast chicken served at an Indian restaurant? mmm protein
Spatula Breath
Germany - Thursday, January 18, 2001 at 16:04:51 (GMT)
Do you work in india russ?
craig
- Thursday, January 18, 2001 at 03:16:09 (GMT)
Are you one of them?
GRAIL
- Thursday, January 18, 2001 at 03:15:46 (GMT)
oooh, I really like Indian food. Chinese is better though.
GRAIL
- Thursday, January 18, 2001 at 03:15:13 (GMT)
Where I work they are full of Indian women who can't speak English
Russ
UK - Thursday, January 18, 2001 at 03:02:59 (GMT)
it's kinda like when you;re at the post office, and they tell you how much it;s gonna cost to send you're letter somewhere by some crazy ass set of scales and weights that's probably from 1927. Maybe that's why only old people can work in post offices
GRAIL
- Thursday, January 18, 2001 at 01:16:27 (GMT)
I did enjoy Willy's holiday though
yay
got the underline working - Wednesday, January 17, 2001 at 17:23:01 (GMT)
Don't you think that Jet set willy 3 is crap?
me again
just once more - Wednesday, January 17, 2001 at 17:22:21 (GMT)
I'll leave it for historical reasons.

- Wednesday, January 17, 2001 at 02:52:43 (GMT)
[b]dsfsdf[/b]
aerwrf
just testing - you can delete this craig if ya yant.
Me again
I - Tuesday, January 16, 2001 at 23:49:25 (GMT)
Get it??? "has a ring to it??" never mind...
FCUK off
in the gutter, face down - Tuesday, January 16, 2001 at 23:47:38 (GMT)
I quite liked Tony Bliar. But then the torys hijacked it.
craig
- Tuesday, January 16, 2001 at 23:18:30 (GMT)
I am gonna start my own food chain firm called cnut and wakner
"come and smell our cnuts". Has a ring to it.
FCUK off
in the gutter, face down - Monday, January 15, 2001 at 23:24:27 (GMT)
Jet set radioooo!

- Monday, January 15, 2001 at 21:10:48 (GMT)
I am really into The Wedding Present at the mo', they rock.
mat
brsitol - Monday, January 15, 2001 at 15:03:44 (GMT)
MANIC STREET PREACHERS RULE!!!!!!!
SMOOO
FUCKA - Sunday, January 14, 2001 at 20:24:26 (GMT)
jesus, it's really not that hard to search for these things.... http://www.scour.com/Software/Scour_Exchange/
GRAIL
- Saturday, January 13, 2001 at 23:11:31 (GMT)
I think the program for movies is called scour, or so gail said. she knows more about it... hey gail, whats the url for scour?

- Saturday, January 13, 2001 at 22:23:29 (GMT)
More about the napster type program for the movies please Craig........ On your bit about the McDonalds Drive Thru, Is it me or do the people at the Drive Thru always Fuck you up with your order deliberately, they almost never seem to screw your order when you go in for a sit down, it's always when your 5miles away in the comfort of your own home when you realise, wait where the fuck is my BigMac and my other fries, and how did i end up with a Whopper when i went to McDonalds....... Bastards do it on purpose...... useless fuckers
Customs <Pigswill@Freedom.com>
Deans, USA - Saturday, January 13, 2001 at 20:14:35 (GMT)
The toffs make an arguement saying that foxes are pests. I would love to see a fox rip THEM to shreads. Starting with 'prince' Charles.
Russ
UK - Saturday, January 13, 2001 at 19:43:32 (GMT)
Well i don't want to start an argument and i certainly don't want to stick for the queen but at least people can eat pheasants. Unlike foxes which is definatly purely for the pleasure of killing and torture. I once was driving to work and the police made me drive the long way down some lane because ther're was a bloody fox hunt going on. I was pissed of at this as i would be late for work and i didn't like fox (c)hunters anyway, so i fired a make believe gun at one of the gits, the bastard flicked the v's, basically saying "Fuck off peasant, we can kill as many foxes as we like AND take over the road system that you've paid for". Well at least i thought that was what he meant in my raging mind.
mat
bristol - Saturday, January 13, 2001 at 13:00:24 (GMT)
I hear 'Princess' margaret is sriously ill and is being fed by a tube up her nose and is suicidal and can't walk.
They say what goes round comes round...
The Queen is the only royal I can tolerate. Though she CAN'T preach to us lot when she is out shooting harmless pheasants. Haven't these people got better things to do? With all that dosh and power, I could think of a few better things to do. Like bomb France for a srart.
Russ
UK - Saturday, January 13, 2001 at 04:45:35 (GMT)
Jeezus, if the tv's go off when queen bitch dies i think my head will explode in a fit of rage. I got incredibly angry, when i could only work half a day when Lady Diana, 'lady diana'? fuck that, 'bitch of death' more like, anyway when she had her funeral. I was gutted, i loved working in that computer shop, i missed a whole, eerm, half day of Pacman playing.
mat
bristol - Friday, January 12, 2001 at 12:42:39 (GMT)
I was doing research at college, my tutor reckons big corporations in the USA has networks (LANS) that has transfer rate of 800 Meg a second! One day, we will all have that for our PCs. The net is still a sperm - much to grow and develop. An 800 Meg a second rate means as Craig said, we'll watch movies as we download them. You can also copy entire CDs and email them to a friend in a second! Technology will get VERY interesting. lastminute.com will probably cease to exist too with any luck.
What was that I read about TV's been switched off for 2 weeks when that old slag the queen Mom falls off her perch? Why? For who's purpose? To make the nation feel better? Bollocks to that. I will go abroad for a fortnight (as I did when Diana snuffed it - I went to Greece and had a fab time). The royal family is only good for tourists. 'Prince' Charles said he wants the family to be scaled down. He would as it wouldn't affect him. Selfish, irritating, weak old tosser. He has had the same hairstyle ALL his life. How sad is that? Everyone changes hairstyles. How can you have that low parting all your life??
Craig, out of interest, do you know if N64s are successfully emulated yet? I seen some on the net but people say they are pretty buggy. May wait till they get it right B4 trying them out.
Russ
UK - Friday, January 12, 2001 at 04:25:55 (GMT)
(Scour Exchange)
GRAIL
- Thursday, January 11, 2001 at 19:16:08 (GMT)
I think 'Scour' lets you download movies. It never works for me though. Play nice kids.
GRAIL
- Thursday, January 11, 2001 at 19:15:11 (GMT)
You can download them now, there is a napster like program for getting films, problem is they are big (200meg+) so take ages to get on a 56k modem, but on adsl you can get them quick enough to watch them as they recieve. And as you might suspect all the latest pirate versions of films are there...
craig
- Thursday, January 11, 2001 at 17:43:22 (GMT)
NTL will soon be the big guns i've heard all other companies are afraid of their competition and that they are in talks as to a buy out of telewest...... Downloading movies and watching in realtime sounds great but how far off is this for UK and can you get all the latest releases or do you have to wait like till there out on video or something
Blossum Possum
Austrailia - Thursday, January 11, 2001 at 16:26:12 (GMT)
My mother has telewest cable, and they are a disaster, over charging on a reguakr basis and just messing about, like their unlimited ISP which never actually worked and now its been suspended, BUT they do give you 3 set top boxes so you can have cable in your kitchen, living room and bedroom, making it better than sky. Eventually when we all have ADSL or any fast net connection we will be able to watch whatever we like over the net, I already know people who download full movies and can watch them in realtime over the net. I want that...
craig
- Thursday, January 11, 2001 at 15:16:38 (GMT)
I am with NTL. Whereever you go, check on the net if ya don't believe me, people say it has THE worst customer service ever. I can only agree BUT now I have 100 + channels, interactive TV and soon to have free ISP without paying for the costs either, I am glad I have it. Once you get past the wankers who work there and get it installed, you'll enjoy it.
hhm, No religious nut = No entertaining rant back? naaaaaah!
Russ
UK - Thursday, January 11, 2001 at 01:36:54 (GMT)
I'm totally pissed with SKY Digital,1yr & 1mth after subscribing and the box pack in and the robbing cunts want £50 just to check it out, if it's unrepairable i have to buy a new box at £300, what a f?@*$% RIP, time to go NTL that's the future, any advice?
Angry from Glasgow
Scotland - Wednesday, January 10, 2001 at 22:36:01 (GMT)
I wanted to sell myself on the net also but i was afraid that my mom would find out and make a bid just to get med out of the house
kosmo63
USA - Wednesday, January 10, 2001 at 19:02:50 (GMT)
awww do you remember the 'golden' days of this rantback with religious nut etal? i'm going to have the main page focus more on film and tv over the coming months, but also keep the funny news too. over 50% of visitors are from the UK which is great, so I will keep things uk oriented. isn't oriented a bit asian? no no no i don't want to go asian, just UK-ish.
craig
- Wednesday, January 10, 2001 at 02:19:30 (GMT)
Yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future. Today is a gift, that is why we call it the present.
Philosopher
Greece - Tuesday, January 09, 2001 at 04:07:51 (GMT)
craig david looks like jimmy hill. seriously.
lingus
- Tuesday, January 09, 2001 at 03:10:07 (GMT)
BBrrrr, it's cold in here!
Jimmy Saville's wrinkly scrotum
England - Tuesday, January 09, 2001 at 02:25:14 (GMT)
well, i didnt seem to find the trap door vid :( nev'mind
Interceptor
www.biosys.freeserve.co.uk - Monday, January 08, 2001 at 20:45:50 (GMT)
bop
beep
- Sunday, January 07, 2001 at 17:03:49 (GMT)
I have a red hat!
Splinky
Splingle - Sunday, January 07, 2001 at 16:58:07 (GMT)
Heyyyy a phantom ear! Actually, my mouth is sore now as i burnt it :(

- Sunday, January 07, 2001 at 01:04:26 (GMT)
Help Me! I need help! Look after me. Poor me. Owww.
Craig's Ear
Craig's Head - Saturday, January 06, 2001 at 20:30:15 (GMT)
thanks for the offer but unless its a newer version than RedHat 5.2 (i have that one) then no thanks. 5.2 is a few years old now and apparently the latest distributions are much better hence me trying to download one. But yeah, if its newer then cool, i'll take it offa your hands! :-)
mat
bristol - Friday, January 05, 2001 at 12:28:24 (GMT)
I have red hat linux on cd if you want it? i've never installed it myself.

- Thursday, January 04, 2001 at 22:16:06 (GMT)
I tried to download a 580 MEG ISO image of 'Best Linux' and my PC crashed at 230MEG. 'Get Right' reckoned the file was damaged so couldn't continue. BASTARDS, it took ONE and a HALF DAYS TO DOWNLOAD THAT MUCH...AAAARRGGGHH!!!!!!
mat
Bristol - Thursday, January 04, 2001 at 18:43:16 (GMT)
blah my ear hurts
craig
- Thursday, January 04, 2001 at 15:34:32 (GMT)
craigobot to the rescue. Aww, ain't little old england so tiny.

- Wednesday, January 03, 2001 at 10:24:16 (GMT)
Would like to get in touch with Samantha Pickening ... she use to live on Whitby Road, Northrope-Nottingham. Her 2 older brother are: Robert and Alan and her best friends were: Sara, Vicki, Gail and Sarah. Samantha should be about 22yrs by now. If anybody has any info on Samantha Pickening, please get in touch. Thank you!!
Ben
USA - Wednesday, January 03, 2001 at 03:46:03 (GMT)
was it a deep and meaningful site? no wait... no... thats unlikely.
craig
- Tuesday, January 02, 2001 at 15:31:36 (GMT)
I was searching the web for a deep and meaningfull site to enjoy, and what do I find?
Mad Cow
Down Under - Tuesday, January 02, 2001 at 01:35:40 (GMT)
People probably are having naked love right now. Me, sad bastard as i am, am typing this into iBrowser runningh on a PC running an Amiga Emulator. I think it's cool though...and thats all that counts.
mat
bristol - Monday, January 01, 2001 at 20:42:46 (GMT)
wow, do you think lots of people are having drunken sex right now? well, more than usual... is the morning after pill available form the chemist from today? probably a good idea. bet they have bags full.
craig
- Monday, January 01, 2001 at 00:39:38 (GMT)
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
First Footer
UK - Monday, January 01, 2001 at 00:25:34 (GMT)
happy new assvole

- Sunday, December 31, 2000 at 21:12:28 (GMT)
Why the fuck do people got to Trafalger Square on New years eve?? Didn't they ban booze?? No music either. Just sing in the freezing cold and if you are pissed anyway, go and jump in a fountain. Sounds like loads of fun to me.
Why not go to a club, get warm, have a drink and dance, meet a girl, take her home party all night?? Better than cold, wet night in London.
Big fat policeman
London - Sunday, December 31, 2000 at 04:17:45 (GMT)
The real millennium is way out, since they only recently introduced leap years, also I believe jesus was in fact born in 6BC besides, 2000 is a big happy number :) as for snow, i actually quite enjoy driving on empty roads covering in snow and sliding about. Snowball fights for new year!
craig
- Saturday, December 30, 2000 at 23:08:48 (GMT)
Well, it's snowing in London. Or rather, it snowED. Now, it's ice, three inches thick, EVERYWHERE. Trafalgar Square tomorrow night will be amusing, to say the least......
Green Fairy
- Saturday, December 30, 2000 at 18:16:18 (GMT)
Well I'm in Norway at the moment and it bloody freezing, snowflakes as big as your hand and all that. On another note, 2 days until the *real* new millenium WOOHoo.
casper-fly
Cornwall/Norway - Saturday, December 30, 2000 at 15:50:50 (GMT)
Do we all have snow?
cruggle
- Friday, December 29, 2000 at 17:40:51 (GMT)
That Blair pic looks like he's on the vinegar strokes!
Steeev
- Tuesday, December 26, 2000 at 20:48:28 (GMT)
I love the pic trick on the main page, i'm going to post more 'mess with your mind' puzzels. and don't tell me you didn't get a suprise when you saw them the right way up ;)
craig
- Tuesday, December 26, 2000 at 20:20:58 (GMT)
Ice Ice Baby
GRAIL
- Tuesday, December 26, 2000 at 20:00:51 (GMT)
http://www.angelfire.com/sc/cheekychilla2/ all about the trapdoor.
burk
- Monday, December 25, 2000 at 20:20:31 (GMT)
there must be a webpage on trap door... i'll look...

- Monday, December 25, 2000 at 20:10:58 (GMT)
Does anyone remember the big pink creature called Rog in Trapdoor?
rog
UK - Monday, December 25, 2000 at 19:27:25 (GMT)
Moo ha ha
Marsiansheep
UK - Monday, December 25, 2000 at 17:12:35 (GMT)
Burk!

in a dungion - Monday, December 25, 2000 at 16:57:14 (GMT)
I had a Trapdoor sticker book when I was a kid, although I fear that it got put in a charity bag long ago *sigh*. Wasn't there a blue spider in it?
Kay Crimble
The good ol' U of K - Monday, December 25, 2000 at 16:23:04 (GMT)
Trap Door rocked. I especially recall being bowled over by how great Dom Preistly's Speccy version of the game was, even though I was shit at it. There was an especially funny bit where you had to use the trap door to fire the skull up a huge bird's arse to make it lay eggs (?!)
Steeev
- Monday, December 25, 2000 at 00:32:01 (GMT)
For most of your TV needs, well UK tv needs, try tv.cream.org although consider the site a continuious work in progress..
crooog
- Sunday, December 24, 2000 at 21:02:35 (GMT)
Does anyone know where i could get hold of a Fraggle Rock toy? Or even footage of Fraggle Rock (the original one with puppets)
The Sheepy One
Winter wonderland - Sunday, December 24, 2000 at 20:46:49 (GMT)
Was Trapdoor a kids TV show - if so, i think i may remember it - its lurking as a memory in the back of my head.
Miss marsiansheep
UK - Sunday, December 24, 2000 at 20:43:51 (GMT)
hey, any of you lot remember 'The Trap Door'? with berk, and the skull thingy, and that grey blob too? well, i'm looking for the video of that 'watch out for that nasty stuff' anyone got a surplus one around? boing! time for bed
Interceptor
www.biosys.freeserve.co.uk - Sunday, December 24, 2000 at 19:20:34 (GMT)
Ifanyone is still interested in that E-mail that was sent around about a week ago there is now a site set up about it: http://www.whoisclaireswire.com/ It's pretty funny and has the message in full
casper-fly
cornwall - Sunday, December 24, 2000 at 19:17:07 (GMT)
Kinky
kray
- Sunday, December 24, 2000 at 16:19:34 (GMT)
Waheeeey! E4 are going to be showing all six episodes of Brass Eye on Jan 20th. Highly recommended for anyone with NTL or Ondigital.
Steeev
- Sunday, December 24, 2000 at 15:57:21 (GMT)
Splinky
K
:) - Sunday, December 24, 2000 at 00:25:06 (GMT)
It also has Tommy cooper's brains telling jokes to other brains. I went to the Dome last month. Not worth travelling more than 20 miles to visit.
Those pics of the crucifixion are bloody weird. Foreigners in those countries are freaks. In FHM mag, they show pics of men with weights attached to their nobs. Why?? They are never able to get a hard on again
LONDON
ENGLAND - Saturday, December 23, 2000 at 05:04:08 (GMT)
Well, it uses Soya Milk, so it's not really fake. And the body in the Millennium Dome has a vagina, with pubic lice no less.
GRAIL
england - Friday, December 22, 2000 at 19:12:47 (GMT)
Well it would be real cheese, rather than fake cheese.
crag
- Thursday, December 21, 2000 at 22:33:09 (GMT)
Why go through the hassle of making breast milk cheese for vegan pizza, when there's ready made vegan cheese now... oooh the wonders of technology.
GRAIL
england - Thursday, December 21, 2000 at 19:52:18 (GMT)
yes! i got the theme tune, it was just like i was tiny small again.
craigggg
- Thursday, December 21, 2000 at 15:52:38 (GMT)
Yeah, Bruno Brookes did it. I remember that. Did you remember the one Gary Wilmot did about 2 years earlier. THINK Craig, THINK!!
John Craven
Newsround - Thursday, December 21, 2000 at 04:30:39 (GMT)
heyyy i just remembered a gameshow i used to love, 'beat the teacher' where kids used to try to beat their teacher at general knowlage and each question got them a X or an O on the OXO board... now... does tv cream cover that i wonder..
craig
- Thursday, December 21, 2000 at 02:22:34 (GMT)
I'd take the lapdap-a-top and let it take it in the USB port.
cr1g
- Wednesday, December 20, 2000 at 20:20:33 (GMT)
At my college, they use ISDN lines and I promise it usually is about 100 Kbit/sec but when not many people is on the network then it goes up to 600. I take 50 floppy disks and use spanning in winzip.
They use fibre optics though (may have something to do with it) ;)
ET
BT - Wednesday, December 20, 2000 at 00:24:04 (GMT)
True, my ISDN rarely gets me over 8kps for MP3s. But that's just using one line, I've never tried it with two.
Kay
- Tuesday, December 19, 2000 at 17:39:32 (GMT)
i've put a link on the main page to a good bbs thread on it (asdl speeds). only i called it a string. boom boom. 60K per sec.
croog
- Tuesday, December 19, 2000 at 15:35:46 (GMT)
Kays got an idsn, and its not that fast, like about 8-12kps I think. Also, ADSL is cheaper at about 9pounds a week for a 24/7 connection via USB port. Problem is, I can't find anyone I know who has one, and I don't like to rely on BT's babble on it. Hmm... I'll have to trawl the newsgroups and see what i can find.
craig
- Tuesday, December 19, 2000 at 14:04:30 (GMT)
IDSN lines are the say to go. About £150 to install and £50 a month rental. You get speeds up to 600 Kbit/sec
imagine how much Mp3s, videos and games you can download at that speed??? webcam to sexy, stripping 16 year old in USA etc. yyeehhahahaha!!
ET
BT - Tuesday, December 19, 2000 at 01:59:40 (GMT)
Champ Manager 3 is an absolute fucker - 715Mb it's hogging on my hard disc! No wonder it's so bloody slow. Oh, and here's a nice link I stumbled across: http://www.merluv.com
Steeev
- Tuesday, December 19, 2000 at 00:47:27 (GMT)
I just wish they would not install games from CD, they should install a tiny file for saving settings and run the rest from the CD. I managed to get all the quake games to run from CD, so that 300meg HD install is a waste of space.
craig
- Monday, December 18, 2000 at 13:31:59 (GMT)
Thing about windows is all the software that goes with it. All those damn microsoft titles, you need. Office 2000 for starters. Access, V basic etc. Ems are good because you can fit pretty much on a 700 Meg blank CD so they don't take up hard drive space.
NOT Bill Gates
Not in the USA - Sunday, December 17, 2000 at 20:27:52 (GMT)
That's a good point Craig. I had this idea earlier today, whilst conversing with my uni' buddies: Why can't PC games be 'CD bootable', so we can dispense with Windows. This, apparently, is not possible because of the many different hardware configurations that exist as PC's. Other than that, good idea i thought....
mat
bristol - Friday, December 15, 2000 at 19:53:47 (GMT)
PC's are only good at playing games when they are emulating them! I love how simple games consoles are, put in the cd, turn them on, game starts. Cool. But i need some help with crazy taxi... someone... help...
craig
- Friday, December 15, 2000 at 14:23:59 (GMT)
I installed linux once or twice, but got bored with it quickly as i didn't have much software to use on it. It is fairly easy to get going, after you've learnt a coupla major things (where stuff is kept and that). I got the google toolbar for IE, its really good. I 'surfed' for ages using the backewards links from 'cdworld'...cool.
mat
bristol - Wednesday, December 13, 2000 at 13:27:11 (GMT)
Will be installing LINUX Right jan 2-4th. Bought lots of books, CDs, boot disks etc. Companies prefer UNIX and LINUX. Windows is shit. My modem is playing havoc, I get more blue screens than a speilberg film and it crashes constantly.
NOT Bill Gates
Not in the USA - Tuesday, December 12, 2000 at 23:07:14 (GMT)
Merry Chrismas everybody ;-) What are stringfellow chips? I keep walking past that stringfellows niteclub, if i see Peter stringfellow ghanging round outside i will ask for a lock of his stringy hair and i will scan it in so Craigo can put it ion his site for all to see ....he he (and you all think i am joking ) I asure you i am not ;-)
marsiansheep/mollusc/many other silly names
newcastle, UK - Tuesday, December 12, 2000 at 13:28:21 (GMT)
i wanted to install linux once, but the instalation procedure was so complex (it may not be now) that i gave up. Lets let you install it then tell us if its worth it ;) Hmmm does anyone who reads this page use linux? Most of asia use it as they can't afford windows, but i don't know what its userbase is like in the UK. I once tried to sell one of the builds (your allowed) and sold exactly no copys ;)
craig
- Tuesday, December 12, 2000 at 12:48:11 (GMT)
God damn windows 98 is so shit. I am upgrading to Linux after the holiday. does anyone else use it? I hear it is infinatly more stable. buying another hard drive, partitioning it in 3. One for win 2000 (for emulators of course), one for LINUX and one for UNIX.
What do other users think of these other operating systems and what do they think of windows??
NOT Bill Gates
Not in the USA - Tuesday, December 12, 2000 at 00:26:40 (GMT)
Till the pain is so bad you feel nothing at all
John Lennon
forever more - Monday, December 11, 2000 at 17:46:21 (GMT)
They hate you if your clever and they dispise a fool.
fear
- Monday, December 11, 2000 at 14:36:26 (GMT)
A working class hero is something to be.
John Lennon
Forever more - Monday, December 11, 2000 at 04:37:21 (GMT)
Ohhh mollusc, your back. Greetings. ohhh monty python is on bbc2... hehehe... always funnyer than i remember is this holy grail... I won't put in an clever catch phrases as it annoys, like star trek fans...
craigus
- Sunday, December 10, 2000 at 21:11:45 (GMT)
And Peter Stringfellow.... his hair... its like bits of hay on his head. Wonder if he's called Stringfellow for a reason... stringy Stringfellow. His hair is actually rather like those "stringfellow" chips.
Kya
UK - Sunday, December 10, 2000 at 20:13:38 (GMT)
I hate that Chefs hair - Gary Rhodes - with his awful spikes, dont get me wrong, i love spiky hair but on him it looks shit!!! Get rid of those spikes "mate" !!!!!! moo ha ha
marsiansheep
newcastle/watford - Sunday, December 10, 2000 at 15:26:39 (GMT)
Hello Everyone, i'm going to see Ash tonight yay! I hate mullets and i met the chuckle brothers years ago at Butlins! I hate the chuckle brothers - to me, to you, to you, to me aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh somebody gouge their eyes out with a wooden spoon, hey wooden spoon, can i come to button moon?
The return of Marsiansheep
UK - Sunday, December 10, 2000 at 15:14:09 (GMT)
For some reason I have respect for Gareth 'Gaz Top' Jones...maybe it's because he was successfull despite his speech impediment and for that i thought 'good on yu lad'.
mat
Bristol - Friday, December 08, 2000 at 20:39:31 (GMT)
Wasn't fingermouse just like a introduction to peadophile techniques?
Moo!
- Friday, December 08, 2000 at 14:10:19 (GMT)
The worst hairstyle of all time has to be Mike Smith. Remember when he tried to be all trendy and had it spiked. It looked so shite. That hairdresser, Nicky Clarke looks like shit too. Someone tell him that long hair went out yonks ago
The bald barber
Seville - Friday, December 08, 2000 at 04:19:18 (GMT)
Gaz Top! Now there was a celebrity mullet (with a twat under it!) Anybody know where Gilbert the Alien is living now? Quite fancy having a line of beers with that wakko.
Devilsad & Eyejack
Pictland - Thursday, December 07, 2000 at 22:14:28 (GMT)
Hey Craigoo00oo - more Chuckle Bros. malarky here: http://tv.cream.org/gorilla/chuck.htm
Steeev
- Thursday, December 07, 2000 at 19:05:20 (GMT)
It's weird, innit, when you see a celeb who once had a famous mullet now sporting a nice grown-up hairdo. It's like when you see Bazza Venison looking aal clever in his glasses and tasteful spiky do...something's just *not there*.
Steeev
- Thursday, December 07, 2000 at 19:02:16 (GMT)
Pat Sharp was the best. His hairstyle was the naffest hairstyle ever. That was the biggest mullet known to man. Untill he cut it off, however even then it still looked naff. Long live Pat Sharp's mullet.
Pat Sharp's Mullet
Pat's Head - Thursday, December 07, 2000 at 13:27:29 (GMT)
I liked schofield, where is he now? working in macdonalds, or maybe on some unwatched cable tv show. They used to have better puppets in the oldern days, like the bananna and such that they didn't take seriously and they were supposed to be silly puppets, now disturbingly they act as if the puppets are real. I just remembered the TV show 'Gordon the Gopher' where Philip Schofield shared a flat with the said puppet. I guess that probably depressed him.
craig
- Thursday, December 07, 2000 at 03:34:30 (GMT)
Who was better: Scholfield, Crane, Peters, Forrester??? I liked Andi Peters best. Andy Crane looked gay. he still has that naff hairstyle.
The Broom
Cupboard - Thursday, December 07, 2000 at 00:10:36 (GMT)
HAHAHAHA!!!
:
D - Thursday, December 07, 2000 at 00:07:49 (GMT)
HAHAHAHA!!!
:
D - Thursday, December 07, 2000 at 00:07:41 (GMT)
theres something thats been bugging me lately, was Mr.Bennets first name Gordon? As in Gordon Bennet? And wait a minute, why isn't tony heart dead yet? AND I think the chuckle brothers look like a couple of peadophiles.
craig
- Wednesday, December 06, 2000 at 23:50:34 (GMT)
We're sure Tony Hart & Mr Bennett definitely GOT IT ON regularly. Morph & Chaz were a bit suss too! Ta for the superb Amiga Millenium CD's. (retroheads take note)
Eyejack & Devilsad
Pictland - Wednesday, December 06, 2000 at 21:57:37 (GMT)
Matthew Corbet, now one things for certain, he was a shit stabber. And when you think about it, the 'pink windmill'? And in Rainbow, the men slept together. Hmmm... HMMMM.... what was going on with kids tv?
craig
- Wednesday, December 06, 2000 at 20:07:08 (GMT)
Maybe they were all gay... hmm. Even Scampy. Yes indeed.
K
- Wednesday, December 06, 2000 at 19:35:34 (GMT)
Kay - I think you've got it the wrong way around. I mean, how else do you think he came to be known as Sooty? It was obviously all the dust he got round his cock from rubbing the chugnut flakes!
Steeev
- Wednesday, December 06, 2000 at 18:33:27 (GMT)
FUCKING POB! YOU PIECE OF SHIT! DIE!
craigix
- Wednesday, December 06, 2000 at 17:54:09 (GMT)
We're off to Button Moon, we'll follow Mr Spoon...There's Button Moon shining very brightly up in Blanket Sky...
Mr Spoon
Button Moon - Wednesday, December 06, 2000 at 17:25:13 (GMT)
Sweep was Gay. He fancied Sooty but Sooty only had eyes for Soo. The unrequited Sweep became jealous of Sooty and Soo. But then Little Cousin Scampy arrived on the scene, and Sweep turned his attentions away from Sooty, to persue the younger, fresher Scampy. Sooty, in turn, became very jealous of the attention that Sweep was giving to Scampy and started to become intraverted and troubled. He lost all interest in Soo, who became disillusioned with Sooty and ran off with the rabbit from no 28. To this day he is still hiding in his box, traumatised and unable to speak. (Oh hang on, he could never speak anyway could he.)
Kay
UK - Wednesday, December 06, 2000 at 17:19:30 (GMT)
I always felt that sue was a lesbian.
craig
- Wednesday, December 06, 2000 at 16:51:26 (GMT)
!
Sooty
End of Matthew Corbit's arm - Wednesday, December 06, 2000 at 16:32:49 (GMT)
There's somebody at the door! There's somebody at the door!Pink Windmill
Green Fairy
UK - Wednesday, December 06, 2000 at 10:31:20 (GMT)
tv cream is a good site, even if it does miss out some classic programs, no rod and emu for example. JESUS CHRIST! there was a spider hiding in my keys! uughhhhh!
croog
- Wednesday, December 06, 2000 at 02:21:10 (GMT)
"Get oooon with it!" - Anyone who can say where that came from deserves some sort of prize. Clue: the voice of Derek Griffiths.....Actually tv.cream.org has the answer (i think) Brilliant site evreyone must check it out!!!!
mat
bristol - Wednesday, December 06, 2000 at 00:56:48 (GMT)
ring
Mitzy
;) - Monday, December 04, 2000 at 20:25:16 (GMT)
Mutley you stupid hound
Dick Dastardly
catch the pidgeon, wacky races etc - Monday, December 04, 2000 at 02:15:36 (GMT)
*cackle*
Grotbags
- Sunday, December 03, 2000 at 21:29:25 (GMT)
I've just nearly drank a whole bottle of wine and its only 8.42pm. Got a moggy on my lap holding on for dear life by its claws an its pissin me off. I like ur sense of humour man.
www.josar.freeserve.co.uk
dorset, uk - Sunday, December 03, 2000 at 20:44:51 (GMT)
you know what i think is sooo erotic? the 'rain' weather forcast intro on itv, with the woman in the latex, with the water 'cum' shot. i refuse to believe that was not made erotic on purpose.
criggle
- Saturday, December 02, 2000 at 18:12:57 (GMT)
Triiiio. TRE-E-E-O. I want a trio and I want one NOW.
Suzie
Trio - Saturday, December 02, 2000 at 05:02:35 (GMT)
Fill a bucket of water! Quickly! The forum's gone on fire!
CD World's Health and Safety Officer
Inside Craig's PC - Saturday, December 02, 2000 at 00:38:48 (GMT)
Let's all thank God for that!
Religious Nut's Nemesis
UK - Saturday, December 02, 2000 at 00:25:13 (GMT)
Religious Nut has not been sighted since departing on holiday to Pontins.
Religious Nut Information Service
U.K. - Thursday, November 30, 2000 at 15:31:11 (GMT)
Yeah, i used to love 'linkin' up' my ST with a pals (via 'classic' serial linkage) and playing Stunt Car Racer, that was strangly fun...just the fact the two machines were talking impressed me enough to continue playing. Son't remember much else off hand.
mat
Bristol - Wednesday, November 29, 2000 at 22:40:54 (GMT)
Is religious nut still about? I have some debating to do.
ixixixix
- Wednesday, November 29, 2000 at 16:44:03 (GMT)
Well I network my laptop and the old P75 with a classic serial cable linking. Classic 10kps transfer, took me about 2 hours to get the new WOS update across it.
craigigigig
- Wednesday, November 29, 2000 at 16:38:52 (GMT)
I know this has nothing to do with current talk but i am so pleased - i got Internet Connection Sharing working in my house, on 4 PC's..YIPEEE!!!!Be happy for me..and my lucky housemates, who arn't that impressed with having a house network. :-(
mat
Bristol - Wednesday, November 29, 2000 at 13:14:19 (GMT)
i suppose the churchies are worried about the competition
Sweevss
UK - Monday, November 27, 2000 at 19:27:02 (GMT)
I'm very hippo-ish. But the article was about the church trying to close a sex shop actually.
Rothwell
- Monday, November 27, 2000 at 17:08:24 (GMT)
Church reaches new low by wanting sex shop. Bit hypcritical there Rothwell??
??
?? - Monday, November 27, 2000 at 02:25:43 (GMT)
Thats because were all on a forever treadmill. Nothing ever happens at all. the more things change, the more they stay the same. Everything to say has been said, thats not disapointment your feeling - its disillusionment. No body cares anymore, there is a sick sort of indiffrent care now, and maybe always. Indiffrence to the world unless it effects you in a negative noticible way, but feel free to allow it to erode away at you over time, that the hardest one to notice. Age & taxes. Oh, don't forget death. You better learn to smile as you do your killing, or you won't get anywhere but 1 council street way when your 75 and wondering where you went so tragically wrong. And no one will care, because like i said were all indiffrent to your problems. Me included, now excuse me while i'm sick out my arse.
put your foot down and drive.
- Saturday, November 25, 2000 at 19:10:50 (GMT)
Well that was a bit of a conversation stopper...
mat
bristol - Friday, November 24, 2000 at 16:12:50 (GMT)
OI! Mat's Mates: Your lives of pure dance music are sad. However, dance music can be found in clubs where large breasted women get drunk. Listening and knowing dance music definately has it's merits. I prefer Mid 90s dance myself. "Who let the dogs out?" is getting on my nerves. Thanks for the wizbit download Craig, great fun. That Paul Daniels sounds a right twat doesn't he?? HAHAHA
Russ
UK - Monday, November 20, 2000 at 04:00:05 (GMT)
Please tell my mates that a life of pure dance music is a sad one.
mat
bristol(birminhgam at the mo' though) - Saturday, November 18, 2000 at 18:15:31 (GMT)
'I hope you all die of fucking cancer'
craigiixx
- Saturday, November 18, 2000 at 16:41:26 (GMT)
Even lower still - Amber Leaf - 90-odd pence a box (but you have to roll them yourself)
Kay
UK - Saturday, November 18, 2000 at 15:24:37 (GMT)
Royals vs Lambert and Butler.....when you sink this low do you have a choice?
casperfly
cornwall - Friday, November 17, 2000 at 00:03:59 (GMT)
The gameboy advance is the new gameboy, its kind of a portable snes. Its fast enough to emulate the speccy, and has a z80 chip in it anyway. The screen is the right resolution to show the 'full' screen too. Only problem is the lack of keyboard, and that games will have to come in 'packs' like 16games per cart.
craigus
- Thursday, November 16, 2000 at 14:06:55 (GMT)
Now that is something i always wished for when i was at school - a portable speccy...phwwaaooorrr, bloody marverlous. What's this gameboy advance anyway? I wanna get a CGB, but being a poor student i canna afford it...so if anyone wants to flog one at a reasnable price then my let me know dude!! As for laptops vs towers, nice computer related argument, but you can't really open 'em up and start messin'...plus as much as i would like to sit on a train and play speccy games, i reckon i would look like a prize git...so i won't (although thinkin' about it, it sounds a darn good idea..anyone got a laptop for sale(i am so easily influenced)). Lets extend the agument to 'tower cases' vs 'desktop cases' vs 'laptops'.....or is that being too silly?
mat
bristol - Wednesday, November 15, 2000 at 18:17:57 (GMT)
Since we can play all the old machines on our new machines it wort of just blurs into one. However, the argument on laptops vs. towers i am SO on the laptop side, i mean portable, easy to move about, lie in bed, garden etc using them etc. bit like a penis. towers, got to have them on a desk, have to sit in a chair, have to put up with a really loud fan that sounds like a plane taking off. maybe i'm just lazy. BUT i know that a speccy emu is already in the works for the Gameboy Advance, which will be wonderus - apart from the keyboard input problem. A portable speccy. oh yes.
craigo
- Wednesday, November 15, 2000 at 14:40:11 (GMT)
Hey i don't wanna fight anyone...unless it's on Way Of The Exploding Fist, on the Speccy of course. This all makes me laugh - of course it's a pointless bloody argument, it was pointless when i was 12 and it's pointless now. At the end of the day, some people preffered one, some the other, it's kinda like a metaphor for life dude. A socioligist (or git as i like to call 'em) could probably come up with some some (bollox) explanation of why some people owned speccys and some 64's - it would just as bigger waste of time - but they'd enjoy doing it, just as we enjoyed our petty argument. Strange though, i had such a hatred towards 64's that i got an Atari ST instead of an Amiga 'cos it had Commodore stamped on it, silly eh? You live and learn don't yu? I got an Amiga several years later when i was blown away by the Ghouls and Ghosts theme tune (still ace today). As for PC's, wasn't till years later i got one of those, when i saw that the internet would give me access to emulators to play them all again!..it's a funny old world.Let's end it all by living us all speccy and 64 lovers living together, in harmony, like one big happy, geeky, retro-computer-gaming family. That would be nice wouldn't it?
mat
bristol - Tuesday, November 14, 2000 at 19:30:45 (GMT)
Hey matt do you want to get him after school?
casper-fly
cornwall - Tuesday, November 14, 2000 at 01:21:48 (GMT)
lumpy is a friend of mine and I think he finds it strange/funny that we could get so serious about this (I know he had a spectrum 48k). Russ re-read some a couple of my posts and you will see that I admit that I don't know much about the Snes....I said what I said to ilistrate a good point. I really don't care anymore, I've been very tempted to get Craigs C64 cd for ages now (what would a man have to do to get a free one eh Craig?). You are probably right about the C64 being a better machine but you can't take away the gameplay from the tons of speccy games you didn't play. There wouldn't be such a huge presence on the net about it if everyone had the same view of the spectum as you do. It seems that you are trying to make it out like it was a Saturn kind of deal, when it ran for 10 years or more. To me that just seems kinda stupid and shortsighted, but then perhaps lumpy had a point and we should take our rose tinted specticals off and just remember them as good times. As much as I still get exited about playing these old games but you can't compare them (in anything but a related sense) to tony hawks skate boarding or any of the other games around today. Acctually I have to correct myself, it is wierd how people still play gameboys- I downloaded one a couple of days ago and the games aren't any better that spectrum (graphix or playability). So unless you want the list of games that I still play (I acctually typed them out! e-mail me at jpay@searchalot.com)or you are going to flame me for something I have said I think we should just let it go and talk about Jaqui's breats or somthing (will you catch them if I let them fall!!!- classic that I still havent got over!) seeya soon
casper-fly
cornwall - Tuesday, November 14, 2000 at 01:06:32 (GMT)
OI Lumpy! I always found it interesting to compare Speccy and Commodore. I was around when they were both massive and still can talk about the games I played etc. If you don't like reading this then get the fuck out and go to some dreamcast site. This site is big on EMULATORS including speccy and Commodore and we are just debating on which we preffered.
Played a dreamcast the other day. Boy, was I impressed with Sonic 3D. Commodore/speccy was 8 bit. Dreamcast is 128 bit!!! 80s arcade went up to 'only' 32 bit.
CREATURES was popular on C64 but even poking it with infinate lives, it was impossible to complete. One of my friends spent all night trying to do it and got so pissed off, he smashed the cassette ensuring he won't waste another night. There were more games for Speccy but so many were so awful. I have 6000 speccy games emulated and play about 30. I have 1500 Commodore games and play about 300. I always wanted to get into school daze but kept forgetting the controls and when I was learning had urges to whack in JSW 2. I totally LOVED that game (still do). I read only a couple speccy mags as a contrast to reading loads of C64 mags.
Casper ghost, you said you rhink there is only 2 good games for SNES?? Well goes to show how much you know. That console was enormously popular (at least in UK). Believe me, there wee more than 2 good games for it or people wouldn't have shelved out £20 a game. I can't even go into that arguement cos there is no logic to what you say.
Anyway, glad we are cool with each other :) Always was interesting to hear this arguement from speccy fans POV as most of the people I knew were so pro commodore.
Russ
UK - Monday, November 13, 2000 at 02:04:15 (GMT)
This is a very legitimate argument even though it started way over 15yrs ago..... I would like to say that i had both Commodore and Spectrum and without a doubt the Spectrum was my favourite, lets talk AticAtac,Knightlore,Skool Daze, ect,ect..... Gameplay was a big factor in speccy games, even though the graphics clashed and the sound was beepy, the gameplay was like a magnet just pulling me to the computer, i also liked a lot of the adventure games the speccy offered, something i never used the commodore for..... Do you think that in 15yrs from now there will be the argument over which was best either the Sega,Sony or Nintendo, never know do ya! Microsofts X-Box looks impresive by the way but i'm going for the PS2, here's to the future, wayhey
unknown
Scotland - Friday, November 10, 2000 at 17:29:59 (GMT)
Its me crig, i'm testing to see if the fruitmachine is gone. I've had to remove it for bandwidth reasons i'm afraid. :( its still on the main page though! :)
criggle
- Thursday, November 09, 2000 at 15:35:56 (GMT)
this is argument is far too fucking geeky for my liking. I mean, debating over which is was best, 15 years after they became obsolete? Grow the fuck up
lumpy
hey Russ I wasn't trying to get personal most of what I was talking about was the non-spectrum vs. spectrum users debate. It didn't start of personal, in fact I think I made a few good points in the post. If you really wanted me to I could list WELL over thirty games that took up my time as a kid. I can understand that you don't think that there are that many but as I said you never had one, this is just a point that you should concede. How many Crash or Your Sinclair magazines did you buy? Could it just be that you didn't play as many zx games as someone who had one? Whatever, zealots some may be but I never heard anyone who owned one complain about the state of gameplay on the speccy. I admit I don't know much about the commadore. I was talking to a friend about 8bits on the weekend and he was coming out with a load of games that I had never heard of but sounded really cool (especially one called C.R.E.A.T.U.R.E.S. ?). I stick by the fact that the spectrum oozed gameplay and it had thousands more games for it than the commadore. I could give up some colour and the occasional joystick converter falling out for that.
casper-fly
cornwall - Thursday, November 09, 2000 at 10:33:34 (GMT)
First of all Casper, Why get personal. I was trying to have a healthy debate between a couple of 8 bit gamers and you get all personal? Wazza matter?? Got nothing better to say?


First off, I played speccy millions of times on my best friends machine. I am not a novice you know. I am amazed people seriously preffered the speccy. Just cos someone had one, they defended it. There was a kid in my school who had a speccy and he would try and convince others it was the best computer ever. Another kid had one and he admitted he was jealous of all C64 owners. he got tonnes more respect.
When I said lack of games, I meant lack of real games. I still say there were about 30 good ones. The fucking commodore completely pissed over Speccy. That's about as simple as I can make it.
Ps, don't bother getting personal cos it don't help your arguements. infact, it paints a pretty poor picture of whom I am talking to.

Craig, I was reading your newsround story. I remember when 5 star was on going live and some kid called up and asked 'Why are 5 star so fucking awful?' hahaha.
Russ
UK - Wednesday, November 08, 2000 at 04:28:07 (GMT)
That's more like it - a discussion (yes, i know that's what the 'discussion board's for..). Anyway, to conclude (maybe), i think we have learned that the 'commode' had excellent sound and tunes (sanxion, monty games etc.) but the spectrum couls still make some good noises (try plugin' into an amp. - yes Sir Clive, you could've had sound out the TV at least..) and the speccy had some good beeper tunes as well (it's just a different 'instrument' maaaan, take Heartland, monty on the run - i actaully quite enjoyed those tunes) - and anyway the 128 almost made up for it. And playability, games that i loved on the speccy, i amost always hated on the C64 (like i said, maybe except the monty games, which i'm quite obviously obsessed with). So - speccy = more games, more fun, more people with 'em (yunno to copy games off), 'commode' = blocky graphics, geat sound, horrible cassette recorder (ughh, i much prefer my own stezza' - thanks). "And another thing" (who said that?) - the overall physicall design of the speccy was far superior to the 64's. Apart from the outward physical appearance, compare brown/brown to gorgeous black/blue keys/and all colours of the spectrum...luussshhh. Also compare the 'insides' - I'm no electronics expert, but compare the 'motherboards' - the spectrum is compact (obviously 'good British Engineering', best in the world), C64 looks like something from the dark ages - nasty. And it always seemd to me that all the 'spoilt kids' had C64's where as us 'working class' folk had the financially more viable (not too mention BETTER) Spectrum 48k.
mat
Bristol - Tuesday, November 07, 2000 at 15:56:11 (GMT)
sorry. I didn't know that went on for so long!
casperghost
my shorts - Tuesday, November 07, 2000 at 03:02:59 (GMT)
Right, Russ you never had a spectrum. I had a spectrum for over five years, probably alot more. The fact that you never had one goes along way to why you say there were only 30 odd good games for it. You weren't obviously in the spectrum scene at the time. Forget the sound and the lack of colour on the spectrum, it still produced better conversions than the C64. Just look at Outrun for an example, like most conversions for the C64, it was made for the spectrum then their data sent to other companys to convert it to other machines. It was faster and smoother than the other systems (just check out some of the reviews around on the web). I played tons of speccy games for hours on end and by seeing that the spectrum was by far the most popular computor at the time I wasn't the only one. Probably the most stupid thing you said though was that the commadore had a better choice of games. Every store I went to always had twice as many games for the speccy than the C64. I rekon there was only two good game for the SNES (Street Fighter 2 and Mario Kart) but then I never had one so I didn't care much. I am sure there are millions that would try and prove me wrong and they would probably be right because they really enjoyed playing the other games that I didn't pay much interest in. Then again I usually try and talk about things I know about and try to stay away from being an asshole. I know shit about the SNES and you know next to nothing about the spectrum so stop barking on like you were a C64 convert, you never knew what you missed. Anyway I remember having this conversation with a kid in my class years ago and it never got resolved so Russ if you can get over it I can.
casperghost
Lapland - Tuesday, November 07, 2000 at 03:00:22 (GMT)
i want to play bubble booble. i like boobs.
craigowago
- Sunday, November 05, 2000 at 18:42:17 (GMT)
Oh man! can I believe this??? hehe. Right, please compare bubble booble between the 2 machines. The C64 is an astonishngly good version, the speccy was so bloody awful. I stand by that abour 30 speccy games were good. Hypersports, Mikie etc. But the Commodore ruled! Speccy's were popular cos they were cheap. Atatri 2600 was so bad, they were a laugh. I had an 800XL which was OK. Had about 10 games I liked. (I would of prefferd a speccy if only to own JSW 2). A lot of my mates HATE speccys but I admit I like 'em. The Commodore was quicker, more graphics. Better choice of games too. The speccy had so many shit games, that they couldn't be classed as games. What about Commodores illegal power cartridges? why did the spectrum have to have an external interface for joystick what about their tape recorders? I may of been wrong but didn't you have to use your own. Don't flame me for that but someone said to me you had to.
C64 - Ikari Warriors, Rainbow islands, American 3D pool, Bubble Bobble, Treasure island Dizzy, IK+. TONNES more classics.

PS, the Atari ST sound was shit too. Compare the awful tune in manic miner (turn up the radio instead) to the wonderful music in Commodore's treasure island and Fantasy world Dizzy. there is no comparison!
Russ
UK - Saturday, November 04, 2000 at 05:26:29 (GMT)
Come on now, Russ. C64 games may not have had any colour clash, but the majority of them were blocky; not much improvement on the Atari 2600. The best looking games tended to resemble the speccy version. Just compare Trap Door for instance. As for the 48k speccy having poor sound, I can only agree, but I believe the 128k used the same sound chip as the Atari ST. Load the TAPs using the Loader in 128k mode first and avoid z80s that only give you 48k sound. Good music and sound effects make up a large percentage of the overall impression you get from an 8-bit game with crap graphics.
Mark
Scotland - Saturday, November 04, 2000 at 01:32:49 (GMT)
Jeez, I don't believe what I am hearing about my dear geloved Speccy! Rus how can you possibly say that there were only 30 good games for it? there were more than that in arcade conversions alone. All those years ago, when I went around to a matees house I would only take games that I thought that we might play and I always ended up taking a dustbin liner full 'cos I didn't want to regret not bringing a game! One of the best things about the spectrum was the choice, adn remember it is still the most sucsessful computor ever.
casperfly
cornwall - Wednesday, November 01, 2000 at 08:31:44 (GMT)
Well Speccy had the worst sound chips IO ever heard, 8 colours, colour crash, abnornal loading times etc so the Commodore itself was an infinitely better machine. The speccy was more interesting to 'poke' and to punch when losing that last life when you nearly completed Dizzy. Compare the likes of Rainbow Islands, Bubble Bobble, Blues Bros (if it WAS released on speccy) et al. The only really good speccy games were Dizzy, MM, JSW, wizards lair and about 30 more. Commodore had tonnes of classic games and that SID sound chip and graphic capabilities were much better. I didn't own a C64 till 1994 and have never owned a speccy. I played my mates al the time. I had Ataris.
Russ
UK - Wednesday, November 01, 2000 at 00:44:35 (GMT)
Hey, I don't konw if it is because I am pissed but did that make sense?
casperghost
cornwall - Tuesday, October 31, 2000 at 23:47:04 (GMT)
Well, actually i meant Bomjack as being a good game...it was ace on the Spectrum. Mind you, you said you were a Commodore 64 owner, it was a bit shit on that...blocky, not very playable. That was the problem with the C64 - Blocky graphics. And most speccy games that were converted just wern't as good, Manic Miner, Jet Set Willy...The Monty games were kinda better, i say now although i would have made up some pointless reason why it wasn't back then. Do you remember all the petty arguments like - Speccys are better than C64's!!! Well, Speccys WERE better 'cos thats what i had...so there!!! big, blocky, chunky commode..pah!
mat
Bristol, England - Monday, October 30, 2000 at 23:34:43 (GMT)
Yeah, you're right. Those games were awful. hahaha. But you couldn't be arsed to load another so you made the most of what you had loaded
As I said, playing most of these games today has no effect. Probably cos I am not a 12 year old anymore.
Russ
UK - Monday, October 30, 2000 at 17:13:36 (GMT)
Yeah dude, i remember re-readin' the reviews, why? who knows? Mind you though, lets not look through Rose-Tinted spectacles, what all the complete dire crap that was bought. I remember waiting about 2 months for a copy of 'The Young Ones' to come through the post (after reading an amazing 'preview' in Your Sinclair..Big Mistake), only to find it was dreadfull..infact every other game i bought, seemed to be a big pile of dog-shit. Classics were generally bought by mates which i then copied...aaahhh Bombjack...grrrr great days. Shit, i gotta get on with some work...
mat
Bristol, England - Monday, October 30, 2000 at 12:17:26 (GMT)
YAY! I actually won the fruit machine!
Russ
UK - Sunday, October 29, 2000 at 03:45:11 (GMT)
Buying a new game for Commodore was more exciting than downloading millions of SNES ROMs. Just staring at the cover while it was loading and re-readin the review a million times. I remember getting all worked up cos I bought CJ's elephant antics!! Can you believe that?? I played it only yesterday on C64 emulator and got bored after 2 minutes.
Russ
UK - Sunday, October 29, 2000 at 03:43:42 (GMT)
oh, thanks Craig. What about The amazing Dungeon Master for the Atari ST and Amiga....can we talk about that please? Now, i seriously got into that..it scared me sometimes.
mat
bristol, england - Saturday, October 28, 2000 at 20:15:04 (BST)
Course you can me luv. I'll just devote the message board to my adventures to abandoned castles and such.
craigixix
- Saturday, October 28, 2000 at 15:03:15 (BST)
Yeah, maybe that's what it is - not enough time to 'get into' games these days, what with working (real work, or University like me!). Interesting though what you say about attention span, i spent 6 hours straight on the 'net' the other day, but i could never imagine doing the same with a game anymore. I remember getting really excited waiting for a new game to load on my speccy, that was good. I get similer excitment now, but it's never related to a computer game, it's usually females/Dr.Ugs/guitar playing.... So, we're not 'allowed' to debate on this part of your page then Craig?
mat
bristol, england - Saturday, October 28, 2000 at 12:03:26 (BST)
I wish Craig could put in something where you can edit what you have already said. Then I might start making sense! Rightiho back to the drugs.
casperghost
cornwall - Friday, October 27, 2000 at 15:12:03 (BST)
I can't spend the time that I used too on Dizzy and Seymour. Apprently when we were younger we had a shorter attention spans. Is this be true? When I was 15 I could spend 4 hours straight on my old 48+.
casperghost
cornwall - Friday, October 27, 2000 at 15:08:40 (BST)
Computer games are to much hassle to get into. manic Miner was ace cos you knew where you stood and leanrt most of the principles straight away. I really can't be bothered and don't have the time to explore entire universes. I'd rather explore treasure island dizzy
Russ
UK - Friday, October 27, 2000 at 03:40:59 (BST)
debating is what i made the message board for ;-p
craigix
- Thursday, October 26, 2000 at 22:03:48 (BST)
Come on people, lets start a lively debate...Errm What are your feelings on the state of Computer Games today. For me they don't seem to capture my imagination the way say Manic Miner used to. Is it becasue i am older? or is it because "there's nothing that's new under heaven and there's nothing unique over hell"..?
mat
Bristol - Wednesday, October 25, 2000 at 21:40:25 (BST)
Would you honestly buy any of this shit??? http://www.disturbingauctions.com/
ArtM
UK - Wednesday, October 25, 2000 at 14:02:24 (BST)
http://www.cdworld.co.uk/guest/guestbook Ahhh Haaaa
Red
UK - Tuesday, October 24, 2000 at 09:30:32 (BST)
http://www.cdworld.co.uk/guest/guestbook.html
Binky
U S A .. Almost - Tuesday, October 24, 2000 at 09:29:03 (BST)
I am Gonna win
Another Blue Guy
Byzantium - Tuesday, October 24, 2000 at 09:22:49 (BST)
I really wanna win
Another Blue Guy
Byzantium - Tuesday, October 24, 2000 at 09:22:02 (BST)
I`m cold...
Another Blue Guy
byzantium - Tuesday, October 24, 2000 at 09:20:28 (BST)
Marsiansheep, can I suck your teets?
Naked Bull
Green green grass of home - Tuesday, October 24, 2000 at 00:20:10 (BST)
Yuck - http://www.shownomercy.com/eyesopen/index.html
ArtM
UK - Monday, October 23, 2000 at 14:35:19 (BST)
Oh dear, i got a naked woman, but........I WON FINALLY yay
sheepster
uk - Sunday, October 22, 2000 at 12:37:15 (BST)
Up above, aliens hover, making home movies for the folks back home, la la la la la la la la la la
the sheep from Maaarssss
w
uk - Sunday, October 22, 2000 at 12:36:15 (BST)
Well, i'm back to Watford this afternoon, so i will bid thee farewell for a while, i may be able to get to a cybercafe one saturday though, until then, moo ha ha my little grass blades.
marsiansheep
UK - Sunday, October 22, 2000 at 12:33:39 (BST)
Yeah I've kind of killed this page by making a message board too. I'm in a bit of a quandry of what to do about it...

- Saturday, October 21, 2000 at 18:11:11 (BST)
God is bigger than all of us.
mat
England - Saturday, October 21, 2000 at 13:31:02 (BST)
The page doesnt seem to be the same anymore!!! ;-(
marsiansheep
uk - Saturday, October 21, 2000 at 01:06:59 (BST)
Yes its me, i'm back for the weekend!!! I am finally on a computer after 3 weeks without the net! I arrive back to many e-mails and also, what do i find? Someone prepared to kill me, no Mark, please don't, i'm too young to die. Moo ha ha said the sheepy one to the Markster! Craigo, and all the other regulars...how are you guys, did u miss me? ;-)
marsiansheep
UK - Saturday, October 21, 2000 at 00:50:16 (BST)
Another freaky site... http://www.creepysites.com/
ArtM
UK - Thursday, October 19, 2000 at 09:58:33 (BST)
Is there anyone into a-ha? I'm a BIG BIG BIG fan of a-ha.
Shehreen Nawaz
Bangladesh - Wednesday, October 18, 2000 at 20:39:29 (BST)
looking at their losses i don't think it will be long until their funds dry up. you could try adsl?
lee
- Sunday, October 15, 2000 at 17:29:37 (BST)
I'm one of the Freeserve 700. Tossers say i'm overusing an unlimited service. Can't be time online can it ? Must be bandwidth i'm using. What ?! With a 56k modem. I don't think so. Tossers... I've complained to watchdog. Hope all the others do too. Tossers... Hope they go bust soon.
Hitman
Angry Puppy - Sunday, October 15, 2000 at 01:58:45 (BST)
tonight I got really pissed and letched at some girls hope your're havng fun guys!
caspersghost
cornwall - Sunday, October 15, 2000 at 01:55:30 (BST)
i love every body
ciupe maria
romania - Saturday, October 14, 2000 at 11:50:20 (BST)
Thats one brilliant page he has there. Bet the ladies are queueing up. His funky music and dodgy photo just make it even more classy.
craig
- Friday, October 13, 2000 at 12:58:40 (BST)
There's some seriously fucked up people out there....... http://candylicker.terrashare.com/
ArtM
UK - Friday, October 13, 2000 at 10:13:25 (BST)
You killed it! You cruel thing! You need to make more of it, surround the link with flashing lights, give away free cats with every signing etc.
Kay
UK - Thursday, October 12, 2000 at 14:36:56 (BST)
yeah it was a joke... a parody of them fucks from the showbiz world

- Wednesday, October 11, 2000 at 12:02:02 (BST)
Craig, that 'hush hush' news about Freeserve banning heavy useers was reported by the BBC a week ago!
veetS
- Tuesday, October 10, 2000 at 22:32:14 (BST)
oh no, i killed the rant back with the forum. whatever shall i do ....
craig
- Monday, October 09, 2000 at 21:09:19 (BST)
Craig you asked how my sister (the prostitute) was getting on,well...shes doing so well ,she says if she had another pair of legs, she would open in Bristol.
Pimple
England - Saturday, October 07, 2000 at 06:27:10 (BST)
how do you play?
dew82
usa - Tuesday, October 03, 2000 at 22:22:02 (BST)
Take it to the work in progress forum :) I'd be happy if you guys can test it for me before i give it a proper link on the main menu.
Craigus
- Monday, October 02, 2000 at 10:17:00 (BST)
Okay, wool brain, I've chilled ... to a degree, anyway. Now come here you lovely marsiansheep, I want to turn you into lamb cutlets. moo ha ha. Don't bleat about this. You wanted to eat the Religious Nut.
Mark
Scotland - Monday, October 02, 2000 at 01:55:17 (BST)
Fruit machines?
Green Fairy
UK - Sunday, October 01, 2000 at 12:55:10 (BST)
I wanna know what I win!
K-K-K-K
- Saturday, September 30, 2000 at 16:31:36 (BST)
Well said marsian Sheep. Exactly how I, all my friends and family feel. She was as complex as the next person. Why can't people focus on their own lives? It makes me wince to read more Diana stories. What do her boys think?
Russ
UK - Saturday, September 30, 2000 at 14:26:51 (BST)
Am i ever gonna win this damn machine? its good having a real one in your room, i've always wanted a jukebox for my room.
the she-sheep
ncle - Saturday, September 30, 2000 at 11:07:48 (BST)
What annoyed me was everyone jumped on the "Diana's so great" bandwagon when she died, like they really cared about her when she was alive, i didnt pretend to care that she'd died, it meant nothing to me, as she had meant nothing to me.
marsiansheep
newcastle, for tha last day ;-( - Saturday, September 30, 2000 at 11:06:35 (BST)
I have got many dirty secrets. I am 24 so I have been getting drunk for years. I still think journalists writing about 'Saint' Diana are sad. Who really cares anymore? It is about as Boring as paula Yates - devoted to her Children. yeah right.
Russ
Uk - Saturday, September 30, 2000 at 04:03:43 (BST)
I think it is great that this this stuff is comeing out about "princess" Diana as I thought she was always an attention grabbing person "read another way if you are reading this fast" I know a girl that has bolemimia and I have a pint with her every other day, I still get on with her, but she gets on everyones tits, but i'm she if I met her for the first time i would love her- this is how I see princess Diana. anyway Russ haven't you got a dirty little secret? Drunk for the first time- oh yeah baby!
caperfly
cornwall(an independant state now!) - Saturday, September 30, 2000 at 02:20:35 (BST)
In my bedroom i have a real one armed bandit fruit machine, 100% mechanical. Thats what gave me the insperation.
craig
- Friday, September 29, 2000 at 18:49:39 (BST)
It would be ironic to me, if i won this machine
marsiansheep (yes me again)
uk - Friday, September 29, 2000 at 18:22:27 (BST)
I thought u were removing the fruit machine?
depressed sheep
who cares??? - Friday, September 29, 2000 at 18:21:36 (BST)
I dont like the fruit machine, the rant page isnt the same anymore ;-( Anyway, i'm back in Newcastle till sunday so i will be on ICQ yay, feels like i've been away ages but it's only been 2 days
marsiansheep
UK - Friday, September 29, 2000 at 11:55:28 (BST)
Craigo, just read your latest articlw about big corporations. Has someone pissed you off lately? The good things about the net (aport from what you mentioned) are emulators, message boards and Star Wars Trailors. Yay! I don't like the idea of buying stuff on-line either.
Russ
UK - Friday, September 29, 2000 at 05:21:44 (BST)
I don't think your fruit machine likes me :(
Russ
UK - Friday, September 29, 2000 at 05:11:43 (BST)
The cover of the radio times pissed me off today.
It says 'Jill Dando was passionate about fighting crime'. No she wasn't or else she would of been a WPC or a detective instead of some TV bird who presented a holiday programme as well as a crime show.
I also see Lynda Lee-Potter from the Mail (Craigo's fave paper) writing an article about 'how Diana destroyed herself) YAWNFEST! Who give a crap? Why do these sad journalists have to keep dragging up the past??
I BIG burning question is: Why is Tiggle Leg-Bourke an 'It girl'. She is a pro hunting, snooty, drug taking, ugly bitch. Oh, she is a 'friend of Prince Charles'. The girl is useless. As least Posh spice has been in the charts a couple of times. what the hell as Tiggy contributed to society?
Russ
UK - Friday, September 29, 2000 at 05:10:22 (BST)
Wheres My Hay - GodDamnit
Champion The Wonder Horse
Texas ??? - Thursday, September 28, 2000 at 19:08:44 (BST)
Remember when people used to post interesting observations in here? What happened? Now come on fruity... gimme some melons...
Craigo
- Thursday, September 28, 2000 at 16:59:10 (BST)
DO YOU REALLY LIKE RUSTY COCKS CAUSE I DO
SEANG
UNITED KINGDOM - Thursday, September 28, 2000 at 16:41:58 (BST)
it aint about the size of the boat it's the motion in the ocean
vernelgroover
england - Thursday, September 28, 2000 at 16:33:17 (BST)
everytime you visit it plays. I could make a seprate page where you just keep pressing 'spin' but that would ruin it. More fun to have it as a little extra.
craigus
- Thursday, September 28, 2000 at 15:11:48 (BST)
so how do we use this fruit machine on your main page then?
caspersghost
cornwall - Thursday, September 28, 2000 at 12:14:00 (BST)
OK, the main page is now in shtml and hopefully no one will notice. I hope. The old index.html should redirect to .shtml without any errors. I think netscape, opera and IE support it. And now, i shall be removing the fruit machine.
craigiiiix
w
- Thursday, September 28, 2000 at 07:23:18 (BST)
you reloaded it exactly as i updated it. isn't the internet wonderful. It will be normal if you re-load it. I did find an awful bug in my updater though. right i've got loads to do tonight, including making the main page 100% dynamic.
craig
- Thursday, September 28, 2000 at 04:22:15 (BST)
Craig! What has happened to your index page??
Russ
UK - Thursday, September 28, 2000 at 03:59:39 (BST)
Nice melons you won there craig :o)
Jacqui
uk - Wednesday, September 27, 2000 at 21:24:07 (BST)
I have to say, this has attracted a similar group of people as the local video arcade & bookies rolled into one.
Craig
w
- Wednesday, September 27, 2000 at 06:16:22 (BST)
Arse is that meaningful for ya?
Arse King
Arseville - Wednesday, September 27, 2000 at 01:40:35 (BST)
F U C K O F F !
steven crawford
uk - Wednesday, September 27, 2000 at 01:38:36 (BST)
where's this flippin' jackpot, then?
veetS
- Tuesday, September 26, 2000 at 23:24:55 (BST)
Mark, calm down, chill out man, why can't a sheep say "moo ha ha"? i like to say moo ha ha , its my catchprase, dont be nasty, sheep have feelings too you know, c ya l8r m8 ;-)
marsiansheep
maaars of course - Tuesday, September 26, 2000 at 12:08:12 (BST)
Oh, maybe not
I've Won!!!!!
yay - Tuesday, September 26, 2000 at 10:49:51 (BST)
something meaningful
me
there - Tuesday, September 26, 2000 at 10:39:11 (BST)
Ohhhh i'll get addicted to this i warn you tee he he
marsiansheep
UK - Tuesday, September 26, 2000 at 10:38:11 (BST)
What do u get if u win Craigo? I got my cheque from Bananalotto.co.uk today for the grand sum of 50pence yay ;-)
marsiansheep
uk - Tuesday, September 26, 2000 at 10:37:18 (BST)
you gotta love the UK kicking ass in the Olimpics!
casperfly
cornwall - Tuesday, September 26, 2000 at 01:57:43 (BST)
I want to win the jackpot if there is one....anyways cool site this is my first time being here.
Gypsy
USA - Monday, September 25, 2000 at 23:26:32 (BST)
Unfair on women here craig. Lets see a naked man for 3 bells :o)
Jacqui
UK - Monday, September 25, 2000 at 23:02:36 (BST)

'ere, let's have another go!
veetS





- Monday, September 25, 2000 at 22:07:42 (BST)
yay! my first cgi script game works! no one won the jackpot though, something funny happens when you do. now, to add lots of little extras to the site :)
craigo





- Monday, September 25, 2000 at 21:26:30 (BST)
Mmmm... Naked lady...
Andrew Sommerville again






Still Scotland - Monday, September 25, 2000 at 20:41:08 (BST)
FRUIIIT MAAACHIIINE! WOO HOO!
Andrew Sommerville






Scotland - Monday, September 25, 2000 at 20:39:41 (BST)
Whooooo-hooo!
veetS





- Monday, September 25, 2000 at 20:33:46 (BST)
A fruity, eh? I'd like a pair of melons and a cherry, please, to go with my bell
veetS






- Monday, September 25, 2000 at 20:32:39 (BST)
I never win anything! What would you win if you did get 3 of a kind then Craig?
Jacqui





UK - Monday, September 25, 2000 at 18:58:45 (BST)
Last Go For Now!
Mark2





Kent - Monday, September 25, 2000 at 17:59:43 (BST)
Here We Go Then!
Mark2





Kent - Monday, September 25, 2000 at 17:58:51 (BST)
INSERT COIN!






- Monday, September 25, 2000 at 04:34:29 (BST)
OK, were all going to test my new game before it goes on the main page. Don't over test it though. Religious nut, you can't as its gambling, and thats wrong.
Craigo
UK - Monday, September 25, 2000 at 04:10:51 (BST)
Fruit machines!! I'm gonna keep posting till I get 3 bars...
russ
UK - Monday, September 25, 2000 at 03:25:36 (BST)
Pontins?? Sod that, you should be off to somewhere like Greece. Full of cheap booze, topless bathers, dirty women from Manchester gagging for it.
I just want to say that I f**king HATE my job right now!!
Russ
UK - Monday, September 25, 2000 at 03:24:20 (BST)
I have decided the only way to protect myself from squirrels is to return to being Holy Joe. I am going on my holidays to Pontins anyway to spread my ever-popular message. I hope to see a much holier Rant Page on my return.
Holy Joe ( previously Religious Nut)
U.K. - Monday, September 25, 2000 at 02:24:00 (BST)
I'm on a roll here. I can feel it. NUDGE, NUDGE.
Mark
Scotland - Monday, September 25, 2000 at 01:53:44 (BST)
That's okay, Craig. I always wanted to post a fruity rant. Hmm... two cherries. Not bad. What do I get for three BARs?
Mark
Scotland - Monday, September 25, 2000 at 01:45:46 (BST)
sorry for making a mess of your post mark, i was testing a game i wrote at exactly the same time as you posted.
another test
- Monday, September 25, 2000 at 01:19:27 (BST)
1234 the hardcore
testing
- Monday, September 25, 2000 at 01:16:35 (BST)
Why would a sheep say 'moo ha ha'? Also, could you write properly and stop using numbers instead of letters, like c u l8r m8, because it looks incredibly crap. Sorry for being pedantic.
Mark
Scotland - Monday, September 25, 2000 at 01:12:23 (BST)
probably on friday as im still flat hunting, erm i saw a cybercafe in Euston and thats not far from me so i will no doubt go there every sat till i locate somewhere in Watford. I am gonna hate being computerless!
marsiansheep
uk - Sunday, September 24, 2000 at 19:35:15 (BST)
BTW, I have never been to Watford - except for the service stations on the motorway. I live East London. Though I think U can log on to the net in public libraries now. When do you move??
Russ
UK - Sunday, September 24, 2000 at 18:47:59 (BST)
Thanks Marsiansheep. I DO know about Macros in computer programs and applications as I have created them in Access 97 last year. As with movies, I just thought it may of been something for DVDs only but it's a VHS tape. No one else I have asked knows either (they all said the same thing as you marsian-S). I may just send him some cash and get him to buy me a copy instead (never thought of that)
I am studying visual basic, pascal (boring - give me C++ anyday) and networking at the mo. I get my HND in 18 months. Yay!
Russ
UK - Sunday, September 24, 2000 at 18:45:40 (BST)
calm down Craigo, i dint mean it, u smell like a bed of roses im sure!
me again
???? - Sunday, September 24, 2000 at 17:50:23 (BST)
Craigo smells of wee
me
the magical mystery tour - Sunday, September 24, 2000 at 17:49:07 (BST)
i can disable some macros on computers but on videos? pah, i wouldnt have a clue, hope u get it sorted! ;-) also do u know of any cybercafes in Watford? i am gonna shrivel up and die with out my daily fix
the sheepy one
uk - Sunday, September 24, 2000 at 17:45:39 (BST)
Dunno if this help Russ, but as part of my degree course, we had to do macros on the computer erm its hard to explain typing but, erm, well its like u record ansd save a process of events on a computer (or whaever) and then the comp can repeat those moves automatically for u, erm cant really explain it while typing, i could send u a voice message telling ya if my damn mic wasnt broken, sorry
marsiansheep
uk - Sunday, September 24, 2000 at 17:41:43 (BST)
Yeah, my vid can play can play NTSC as well as PAL. The guy said over here in the UK it should be easy to find somewhere that can disable the macros but I don't know anything about it.
Russ
UK - Sunday, September 24, 2000 at 14:58:18 (BST)
Can your video play USA vhs tapes russ? They are slightly diffrent from ours.
craig
- Sunday, September 24, 2000 at 05:13:09 (BST)
See what I mean? I like jellied eels actually.
Righto, I need some info. I mate is sending me an old Abbott and Costello movie to help with my website. He is in the US and he is posting it to me so I can copy it. He says I have to disable macros. I am not sure what macros are or how to delete them. Can anyone help me?
Russ
UK - Sunday, September 24, 2000 at 03:41:30 (BST)
"Cor blimy Gov, can i 'ave some of those jellied eels?"
marsiansheep
erm, inbetween areas kind of - Sunday, September 24, 2000 at 01:01:36 (BST)
nik naks taste bad anyway, eeeewwwww moo ha ha to one and all, the sheepy one
nik nak paddywhack
giv the dog a bone - Sunday, September 24, 2000 at 00:54:21 (BST)
Who cares about nik naks? I loved the thunderbird crisps - bacon flavour. Yum!
Who is Anna anyway?
Russ
UK - Saturday, September 23, 2000 at 03:53:37 (BST)
hey, im the marsiansheep and no -ones shagging me sorry to disappoint ya, where'd u get that idea from?
marsiansheep
uk - Saturday, September 23, 2000 at 01:58:17 (BST)
I've completely lost the plot here. Who's shagging a sheep from Mars?!
Mark
Scotland - Saturday, September 23, 2000 at 00:44:43 (BST)
They smell like a girls fanny. Which is good.

- Friday, September 22, 2000 at 20:14:10 (BST)
I am really angry at the fact they don't do Scampi and Lemon flavour niknacks anymore!! Who is with me and agrees they should come back?
Jacqui
uk - Friday, September 22, 2000 at 20:01:57 (BST)
Neither am I.
Harold Shipman
HM prison - Friday, September 22, 2000 at 19:59:42 (BST)
I'm not mad
casperfly
cornwall - Friday, September 22, 2000 at 16:29:46 (BST)
Craig wanted me to be the voice of reason but he wouldn't tell me what to say so i'm not gonna be :oP ***************************************************** i'm not mad enough to post here i don't think oh well ******************************************************
Claire
Garbage Land - Friday, September 22, 2000 at 15:26:01 (BST)
a ha this away, a ha that away, a ha this away, my oh my wizzbit grew a bit, grew a bit, grew a bit wizzbit grew about three foot high
insane in the membrane, insane in the brain
living in the past - Friday, September 22, 2000 at 12:59:39 (BST)
i am moving to Watford (if i can find anything affordable which is proving a bit of a problem right now). I will indeed lose my lovely geordie accent and have a scummy cockney one (jk) as long as i dont have to eat jellied eels! yeah, u can let me know of ciomputer fayres then, ta, well, religous nut, you have met your match he he he
marsiansheep
glad my catchphrase has caught on - Friday, September 22, 2000 at 12:22:26 (BST)
marsion sheep, so you are coming down here to London?? You will develop a silly accent like I have and start saying like 'cor blimey guv' etc. In East London, there is a large town called Stratford. there are many computer fayres there. You should do Ok for yaself. it won't matter if you parp in public cos all the girls do down here anyway and (I can't resist) moo ha ha to one and all
Russ
UK - Friday, September 22, 2000 at 04:17:21 (BST)
I thought I was supposed to be the nut around here. mooo ha ha ha
Religious Nut
Newcastle - Friday, September 22, 2000 at 00:01:35 (BST)
*snarf snarf* thunder thunder thunder thunder catzzzzzzzzzzz mioooowwwww
thundercats fan
80s mania - Thursday, September 21, 2000 at 20:50:48 (BST)


- Thursday, September 21, 2000 at 20:42:29 (BST)
I want to lick Craigos green nipple!!!!!
geeze louise
cyberspace - Thursday, September 21, 2000 at 19:56:49 (BST)
WARNING: For safetys sake, remove all tags and plastic loops before giving this toy to children. They are not part of the toy
safety pin girl
lol - Thursday, September 21, 2000 at 19:28:43 (BST)
moo ha ha its my catchphrase so, if i am craigos imaginary transvestite personna, this means i am Craigo talking to myself, which therefore means i'm mad, so thats why i have hairs on my palms, i am mad Craigo moo ha ha
marsiansheep
uk - Thursday, September 21, 2000 at 19:25:06 (BST)
haha! the blue is a pale blue because i hated that blue so much that i avoided it. mooo ha ha ha (i like that)
craigo
- Thursday, September 21, 2000 at 19:13:49 (BST)
there used to be far too much blue on this site, now their isnt much blue (which is good), but i thought id add some blue colour to this page as i am bored and have nothing else better to rant about then the colours on this rant back message board! ;-) rant rant rant
marsiansheep
uk - Thursday, September 21, 2000 at 17:50:15 (BST)
I walk away from the screen for 5 minutes and look at the state of this place.
craigo
- Thursday, September 21, 2000 at 17:36:09 (BST)
i love flying wwwhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !!!!!!!!!
powerpuff girl
england - Thursday, September 21, 2000 at 17:30:10 (BST)
i will indeed check out the computer fayres russ, alas i will be working in London on my placement year (3rd year of uni). I shall keep an eye open for computer fayres thanks, ;-) P.S. i visited your site religious nut, and u really are very religious arent u? he he he
marsiansheep/Rothwells, imaginary personna?
uk - Thursday, September 21, 2000 at 12:15:06 (BST)
Yes, i am indeed an imaginary transvestite persona of Rothwell RN, my squirrel alias was merely a guise. However, i will still trak you down and let the squirrels know your hiding place heh heh hehe
marsiansheep
uk - Thursday, September 21, 2000 at 12:12:35 (BST)
On my quest to neutralize the squirrel threat I happened upon marsiansheep's homepage and discovered she has some sort of hidden diary page on this very site http://www.cdworld.co.uk/molly/ And she and Craig are both from Newcastle. I can only conclude she is an imaginary transvestite persona of Rothwell, to enable him to express his feminine side. Well the secret is out now.
Religious Nut
U.K. - Thursday, September 21, 2000 at 01:32:52 (BST)
Help! I am being persecuted by a sheep disguised as a squirrel. Well, I suppose it makes a change.
Religious Nut
U.K. - Thursday, September 21, 2000 at 01:11:31 (BST)
Are you off to Uni Marsionsheep? If so good luck in it. As for cheapies, I have a M8 who goes to computer fayres. he gets well cheap stuff from them and I buy stuff from him. Best to check the one adds. A computer fayre is definately your best bet.
Russ
UK - Wednesday, September 20, 2000 at 23:08:54 (BST)
By the way, as i am moving house, i wont have a computer, the thought of this destroys me, does anyone know where i can get a cheap computer? i only want it 4 the net, also how much are modems (no slower than 56K cos that would drive me mad) if anyone can help me, e-mail me please marsiansheep@hotmail.com thanks ;-)

- Wednesday, September 20, 2000 at 13:46:27 (BST)
i am scared, i am moving far away soon and its scary! I've never played the sims craig, and RN, maybe i am a squirrel in disguise, i know where u live and i'm gonna track u down he he he (beware my dear nut, beware) ;-)
marsiansheep
Newcastle , not for much longer though - Wednesday, September 20, 2000 at 13:44:12 (BST)
You know too much marsiansheep. I live underground and eat from a can, this way the squirrels will never find me.
Religious Nut
U.K. - Wednesday, September 20, 2000 at 00:52:49 (BST)
i thought all girls played was 'the sims'?
craigo
- Tuesday, September 19, 2000 at 18:30:22 (BST)
By the way, RN, u nevr answered my earlier question on why u r a nut and if u r scared of squirrels etc. Whats the matter, squirrel got your tongue? or have u been eaten by a squirrel and thats why u r quiet?
marsiansheep (yes me again)
UK - Tuesday, September 19, 2000 at 12:21:15 (BST)
:-) Yay, i used to love Theme hospital, now theres a game i used to play!!!! At last a game u guys talk about that i have actually heard of!!! Thats ok Russ. moo ha ha to one and all
marsiansheep
UK - Tuesday, September 19, 2000 at 12:19:08 (BST)
Hey I've just found something great....Abandonware sites. You can download really cool old games for free (duke nukem 3d, wolfenstien, theme hospital, all monkey islands, fate of atlantis etc etc) The best place to start is @ www.pheatsols.com --Ring of Ages---
casperfly
Cornwall - Tuesday, September 19, 2000 at 11:23:34 (BST)
Matt Smith is a demi God according to a lot of spectrum sites. He created manic miner and Jet set willy.
I actually prefer J.S.Willy 2 which he didn't do. Go and find a manic miner fan site to find out more info.
Cheers for visiting marsionsheep!
Russ
UK - Monday, September 18, 2000 at 17:08:16 (BST)
erm, sorry if this sounds like i have no clue (well i havent) but whos Matthew Smith? Is he famous?
marsiansheep (yes me again)
same as always - Monday, September 18, 2000 at 12:40:11 (BST)
Russ, i signed yr new guestbook, RN, how could we forget about u? and Craig ahem, lovely picture u just put on main page, hmmmmm i think not. Vote for your right to parp proudly in public at http://www.angelfire.com/nb/bigbillybigbins/
marsiansheep
yep, u guessed it, newcastle - Monday, September 18, 2000 at 12:38:27 (BST)
Hey, let's not forget me here.
Religious Nut
U.K. - Sunday, September 17, 2000 at 23:35:48 (BST)
wow... several female posters. isn't it great?

- Sunday, September 17, 2000 at 22:54:38 (BST)
Well I have just visited your site marsiansheep. I have never been further up north than Nottingham so newcastle I am not familiar with. Got to be better than East london though.
Russ
UK - Sunday, September 17, 2000 at 21:45:56 (BST)
Pah, next we'll have christmas trees for sale in july, nnnnooooooooo stop this over-commercialism go visit my site and sign my book people, nobody visits me (boo hoo) www.geocities.com/marsiansheep/index.html
marsiansheep
uk - Sunday, September 17, 2000 at 16:58:31 (BST)
Matthew smith has a website... i'm not 100% certain but i think its www.the-good-stuff.freeserve.co.uk
kraig
- Sunday, September 17, 2000 at 16:04:09 (BST)
Commercialism wrecks Christmas every year. Easter eggs will be in the shops within a month or so...
Russ
UK - Sunday, September 17, 2000 at 15:31:13 (BST)
God, i cant kep away can i? i know a lion called Lenny, is that u lenny? are you the lion i know? are u a stuffed soft toy? do you growl? he he he
marsiansheep
same as always - Sunday, September 17, 2000 at 13:12:34 (BST)
What are all these games you talk about? i have never played games for a couple of years now, does that make me strange? or am i just strange anyway? for some reason i like to keep posting meaninless rants here, i dont know why i like to but i do ok!!! Except half the time i dont know what u are all going on about ( i will pretend i do) moo ha ha to one and all p.s. why are their advert calanders and christmas cards on sale already? its far too early to even think about christmas, i keep expecting to see a christmas tree in someones front window now, THEY'RE RUINING CHRISTMAS!!!!!! ;-p
marsiansheep
UK - Sunday, September 17, 2000 at 13:08:07 (BST)
Thankks for the tips mark. I have never heard chaos but will look for it. I thought a few manic miner sequels weren't that good but I definately enjoyed manic miner 4 and manic miner 2000. Nifty lifty was pretty cool when I was a kid too. Pretty basic though.
I am still waiting for the windows remake of the original Dizzy. I loved that game and completed it way back in '91. I don't want the teaser trailor they stuck up at yolkfolk.com but the whole thing.
I wonder if matthew Smith comes here? I hear he lives in Amsterdam now and does motorbike mechanics or something after being addicted to drugs. If you wanna come down from drugs then I though Amsterdam would be the LAST place to live - or is that being racist? hehe
Russ
UK - Sunday, September 17, 2000 at 03:46:32 (BST)
I know there are hundreds of you reading this every week, i see the server logs. post damn it! (look were desprate!)
craigix
- Sunday, September 17, 2000 at 03:44:16 (BST)
i think this is the longest its ever gone without a post from rn or rus
lenny
- Sunday, September 17, 2000 at 02:40:42 (BST)
Hey its picking up in here. lol. were making a come back.
craigo
- Sunday, September 17, 2000 at 01:30:28 (BST)
hey religious nut, how come u r a nut? were u born that way? does that make u scared of squirrels? i didnt know nuts had brains so didnt think they were capable of being religious, i am obviously proved wrong by your existence on this message board. alas i am only a sheep, incapable of the miracles intelligent nuts can surely perform, i bid you goonite good (sir/madam?)
marsiansheep
maaars of course - Sunday, September 17, 2000 at 01:20:26 (BST)
Just to add my meaninless point: moo ha ha to one and all
marsiansheep
newcastle - Sunday, September 17, 2000 at 01:12:25 (BST)
another fad i think mark. not like the good old days anymore. i should make a 'best of' section. there are some really good bits near the start. its like a finished tv series now.
craigo
- Sunday, September 17, 2000 at 01:10:14 (BST)
Perhaps we should stop calling this Craig's Rant Back page and start calling it the Russ and Religious Nut Double Act page. Where did everyone else go? Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that RN has totally mellowed out lately? By the way, RN, can you speak in tongues? I think the game you're talking about could be Lunar Jetman or The Ice Temple, Russ. What sadomasochist wrote Manic Miner 2000? A short rant on racism: Anyone who claims not to be racist is lying. I believe everyone is racist to a greater or lesser extent and this will always be the case. If we accept this first and foremost then at least we can all use this as a starting point and try to be less prejudiced which should lead to happier relationships with people from different cultures. Gosh! That sounded really preachy. My favourite speccy game has to be Chaos - rubbish graphics and no music, but an utterly addictive strategy game once you get used to it. I wish Dan Condon-Jones of RetroSpec would hurry up with the Windows version. Whatever happened to Julian Gollop? Freddy Hardest was okay, Craig, but a bit too easy to complete.
Mark
Scotland - Sunday, September 17, 2000 at 00:37:25 (BST)
Who is got? Do you mean goat? Then aha- you worship the Devil. You must be a communist.
Religious Nut
U.K. - Sunday, September 17, 2000 at 00:32:32 (BST)
whether you like it or not, if god says you will die unless you believe in him, that makes him communist. (its great that this lives on my computer and i can edit it at will lol)
craigo
- Saturday, September 16, 2000 at 19:14:39 (BST)
Probably an act of God eh...? :)
Russ
UK - Saturday, September 16, 2000 at 04:09:16 (BST)
I don't think God would be interested in joining the political movement started by the hypocrites Marx and Engel who did not practice what they preached, which then went on through Lenin, Stalin and Mao to kill many more people than religion ever has. Congratulations to Craig on Big Brother for donating his prize money so a handicapped girl can have an operation the scum in charge of the NHS have blocked in this country.
Religious Nut
U.K. - Saturday, September 16, 2000 at 01:26:42 (BST)
Craig, have you seen the pic of 'misplaced childhood' at rotton.com?? You will never forget THAT image!
Russ
UK - Friday, September 15, 2000 at 18:42:23 (BST)
So is god communist?
craigo
- Friday, September 15, 2000 at 15:57:37 (BST)
I suppose that apart from the completely bonkers ones, street preachers want to rant at you because they don't want you to burn in Hell forever, which the Bible states will happen to all those who reject Jesus dying for their sins, as nobody is "good" enough to storm into Heaven in God's sight. If a Christian really believes this, it would be a little selfish to say "ah well, get stuffed then" to unbelievers, wouldn't it? I personally found standing in the street with a religious placard made me rather unpopular, so it isn't my current method of choice, anyway. Christians are just as bad as anyone else, the difference is they accept God's free gift of salvation through Jesus Christ, which is a smart long-term move.
Religious Nut
U.K. - Friday, September 15, 2000 at 01:16:12 (BST)
I don't accept any authority either. Why even bother to spread the word? People will believe what they want to believe. Does God exist?? How the hell should I know? Why should anyone care what I or anyone else thinks anyway. Street lecturers try to tell us to believe but why bother? Can't they just believe their faith quitely and leave the rest of society to get on with our lives. The way I see it, if you are a good soul then does it real matter what you believe?
hehe nice photos on rottom.com :)
Russ
UK - Thursday, September 14, 2000 at 19:17:11 (BST)
I guess you would say I am Christian, as I accept the truths of the Bible as long as there is hard evidence that it is divinely inspired. But I don't belong to any sect or denomination, and do not accept any other human's authority over what I am allowed to think or do. So hooray for me !
Religious Nut
U.K. - Thursday, September 14, 2000 at 09:41:30 (BST)
I am bored. Religious nut? what religion are you? I dont want to have coleslaw on my trousers but its there, it spilt from my sandwich, now i wilh have to get changed. My blue lightbulb is too dim, i need a red one or a "normal" one. Jingo de lingo. Carpe diem
marsiansheep
UK - Wednesday, September 13, 2000 at 15:24:32 (BST)
I can't cope with games like Manic Miner from whichever decade. I have approximately a one minute attention span when it comes to playing games, except for Risk and Total Annihilation. Sad, isn't it?
Religious Nut
U.K. - Wednesday, September 13, 2000 at 00:50:58 (BST)
I think people should be honest about their feelings, if at this time you feel more love for your mother than God, it is just a fact. The Bible says people will go to Hell for rejecting Jesus died for their sins. Just ask yourselves, what are the real reasons you reject this? Because you are such a genius you have extensively studied all sides of the argument? Or just so you can do what you like?
Religious Nut
U.K. - Wednesday, September 13, 2000 at 00:48:53 (BST)
A brand new day.
Craigo
UK - Tuesday, September 12, 2000 at 16:18:02 (BST)
Religious nut: If I say I love my mother more than God (whom I have never met) does that mean I will go to hell?
Russ
UK - Tuesday, September 12, 2000 at 04:06:47 (BST)
now uhle the n64 emu is no more i can post that i've met gordon holingworth who was the guy who claimed he was continuing it. hes a network technician from derby. He didn't write it. the other one ePSIlon did. he used to be a demo coder. realityman just did little bits of the code mostly the front end. i doubt jagulator exists also.
px
uk - Monday, September 11, 2000 at 14:49:51 (BST)
Moo ha ha said the chicken to the hairy Goose. Watch out for those alien sandwich cutters, byebye jibber wobber woo
marsiansheep
UK - Monday, September 11, 2000 at 14:00:40 (BST)
I wondered where everyone has got to as well. will have a look at your site as you visited mine.
Have you played manic miner 2000? You can download it in the download section on my site. Friggin bril!
Russ
UK - Monday, September 11, 2000 at 00:57:44 (BST)
Done. As invited, I will give the URL of my hated site again:- www.freezone.co.uk/bc1 -come for the online Speccy games if nothing else- all legal, just about. Don't worry, I have an even worse site to follow soon. Are we the only two people left? Has there been a nuclear holocaust? Insult me somebody, now.
Religious Nut
U.K. - Monday, September 11, 2000 at 00:12:32 (BST)
Thanks for the praise R.N. You DON'T actually need a password to leave a message. I turned that function off. Come and leave a message and give me the URL of your site. I think we can have pretty interesting discussions.
Glad you like my photo :)
I still say emux.com is my fave emu site. I love the MAME emulator.
Russ
UK - Friday, September 08, 2000 at 03:46:29 (BST)
Yeah, I had a look at the site of Russ. Nice photo(!) There seems to be quite a lot going on there. I was only vaguely aware of who Abbott and Costello were before, but I am interested in any comedy, the Paramount Channel is an essential. Seinfeld and the 11 O' Clock show use to make me laugh, what do others think? Lee and Herring were OK, but I fell out with them and their fans over my controversial website about them being blasphemous. Whoops- story of my life. Tried to leave a message on your guestbook, but looks like a password is needed- too lazy. My "family" of religious sites have allowed feedback in the past, but it took too long to answer it all, and most people wanted to kill me. A good idea on the Russ site was to leave good links to emu and rom sites. Anyone got any?
Religious Nut
U.K. - Thursday, September 07, 2000 at 22:57:28 (BST)
How about posting movie reviews?
lenny
- Thursday, September 07, 2000 at 21:49:58 (BST)
You are right R.N. are we actually getting along now? religious nut, come and take a look at my website and come and leave a message on my message board. http://pub18.ezboard.com/babbottandcostelloforever cheers
Russ
UK - Thursday, September 07, 2000 at 04:02:05 (BST)
"At least 60,000 asylum seekers who have entered Britain in the past decade have "disappeared", with thousands working illegally in the black economy. Only 14,600 of the 268,500 people who claimed asylum between 1989 and 1997 were given refugee status. Another 209,000 are accounted for in other ways, including 76,000 in a backlog of applications or appeals and 20,000 who left the country. The figures prepared by the Immigration Service Union are almost certain to have worsened during the past two years. The asylum system has been on the verge of collapse because of rising numbers of people claiming to be refugees. Over the past two years a further 117,100 people claimed asylum, 57,805 were given asylum or exceptional leave to stay and an estimated 13,000 were removed. The backlog of initial asylum applications is more than 100,000, compared with 51,000 at the end of 1998." Well that's what the Times says, it sounds like more than enough asylum seekers to me. I don't know about Germany, but they don't exactly have a good record in their treatment of minority groups- remember WW2? But then I expect "Abdul" might be biased...
Religious Nut
U.K. - Thursday, September 07, 2000 at 01:03:40 (BST)
I have seen 'refugees' come into my Mom's shop and a few gets the staff's attention while the others try and get in teh back office. They also get free houses and stuff. that shouldn't be when so many of our own people are homeless. I ain't racist but the political correctness HAS gone too far. it is now official that the cops turned a blind eye to the Notting Hill thing. the UK may take in less people that Europe but it is still fat too much. They should be at least put to work for the community like sweeping streets and such instead of begging. You see them on the underground with screaming babies. If they work,then they at least can 'earn' their keep instead of leanrning just a few words like 'benefit' and 'freebies'. I wouldn't dream of going to another country begging for help unless I can do something in return
has anyone played Manic Miner 2000?? Friggin' brilliant version!
Russ
UK - Tuesday, September 05, 2000 at 23:35:40 (BST)
Rubbish, the UK takes in the fewest foregn people in europe. Germany takes about 10 times more. You have been taked in by the propaganda in the newspapers.
Abdul
- Tuesday, September 05, 2000 at 23:18:55 (BST)
Other races are much more racist than whites, I know from experience. And "refugees" are not exactly queueing up for entry to many other countries. British people are always too tolerant, and let loud-mouthed minorities, Europeans etc walk all over us. I hate racism, but the balance has swung much too far in the other direction now. It is too much to expect the Government to do anything, especially the current hypocritical freaks. All we can do is make a stand against political correctness in our own particular situations. I thank you. (That was a party political broadcast for the Religious Nut party)
Nut, Religious
U.K. - Tuesday, September 05, 2000 at 22:58:11 (BST)
Yay! I've added a colour feature :) You can choose your colour when you sign. Just for you HTML illiter..it.es.. no... wait.. illitarates.. no... ille.. oh arse.

USSAR - Tuesday, September 05, 2000 at 17:46:06 (BST)
d
d
- Tuesday, September 05, 2000 at 17:43:30 (BST)
d
d
- Tuesday, September 05, 2000 at 17:39:29 (BST)
dsfs
sfsf
- Tuesday, September 05, 2000 at 17:36:28 (BST)
craig bug hunts the cgi scrip

USA - Tuesday, September 05, 2000 at 17:34:10 (BST)
Blue oranges. They would be Blues.
k
- Tuesday, September 05, 2000 at 17:21:44 (BST)
Russ you totally missed the point of craigs rant.
John
- Tuesday, September 05, 2000 at 16:01:16 (BST)
Remember the good old days when lots of people used to post things in here?
craig
- Tuesday, September 05, 2000 at 12:44:51 (BST)
OK so THAT didn't work... :D
Russ
UK - Monday, September 04, 2000 at 23:44:25 (BST)
PS, I am learning a spot of HTML and here's pic of ME hehe [image]http://homepages.tesco.net/~Ye5.Man/index.4.jpg[/image]
Russ
UK - Monday, September 04, 2000 at 23:43:13 (BST)
Craig, you are spot on with your political correct statements. I know about the trouble in Nottinghill and the police turned a blind eye. All because one black guy gets killed, the police are now giving blacks priority. Bloody disgrace. They take over our jobs cos they know they can sue on Racial discrimination if they get turned down a job. Fucking disgusting the way they have priority. They say we should be treated equally but we ain't.
Our OAP's are freezing to death while 1000s of illegal immigrants come over here, sponge off the tax payers while stealing. I have seen them down in the South East where I live. Intimataing people to give the money and the police are powerless.
Anyway, I was playing on MAME last night (Commando) and was having a look at the cheat menus. Does anyone actually know how to work a cheat in MAME?? Your help would be very much appreciated folks. :)
Russ
UK - Monday, September 04, 2000 at 23:41:29 (BST)
Thanks for link R. Nut. I do enjoy some speccy games. Jet set willy II, Manic miner and Dizzy are my faves (by a long way too)
I do need some help. I remember playing a speccy game in the L8 80s. You was a man with a back pac on and you could fly. Set either on the moon or another planet. it was a game like Dizzy where you pick up object and figure out what to do with them. It mostly had a black background and the main character was mostly white. I really cannot remember what it was called and it's driving me crazy. Does anyone know the game I am on about??
Wizard's lair, Hyper sports, fued and Duet were, I think, very cool games.
the commodore 64 was the best 8 bit machine. good sound chip, faster games and far better colours and graphics. No colour clash.
PS, thanks for th etip Craig. Actually a few people say it's better to buy the real thing cheap 2nd hand. I have a M8 who chips play stations. Just lend a game from the video shop and copy it he says. Hell, I spend too much time playing MAME and co. Having Tekken 3 would be too tempting for me not to get any work done.
Russ
UK - Sunday, September 03, 2000 at 05:32:25 (BST)
As requested, the URL for PCAE and other Atari 2600 emulators http://www.emuholic.com/atari2600.htm Of course the Spectrum is still the best. My favorite games were Montecarlo, Dragontorc and Heavy on the Magick. Hmm... gambling and black magic. Still, I hardly ever do these things in real life...or do I?
Religious Nut
U.K. - Sunday, September 03, 2000 at 01:32:25 (BST)
Afterburner emu currently supports four games. To access the other three (not Afterburner II) you need to add a 1 (Outrun),2 (Super Hang-On)or 3 (Thunderblade Japanese) to a command line for the emulator (easiest way is to right click the emu and drag a Windows Shortcut then add a space and the number of your choice to the end of the Target line.. You'll find the MAME ROMs for Outrun (outrun.zip) and Super Hang-On (shangon.zip) work, whilst the Afterburner II ROM (aburner2.zip) and Thunderblade Japanese ROM (thbladej.zip) are at www.arcadeheaven.com and other places (Afterburner II is here at Emuviews, though you'll need to check the link by rolling over the name so you don't get a different system's version) - the Afterburner II ROM should be around 1.5MB. ( fromJose Q) I hope this helps Craig.
casper
cornwall - Saturday, September 02, 2000 at 18:13:49 (BST)
russ, you might want to get a second hand n64 and one of those CD drives for it. Nothing beats the real system. The tv screen, the sound, the real controls. Its just never quite the same on the pc. I won't have anything to do with emulation of new systems though, i'm not really interested much. I'll come upto about 1990, maybe a little further for the amiga. Spectrum - I loved freddy hardest.
craigix
- Saturday, September 02, 2000 at 05:42:19 (BST)
What was people's favorite game on the speccy? Target Renegade kept me glued to the screen for ages
casper-fly
- Saturday, September 02, 2000 at 05:05:36 (BST)
What do you know about Nintendo 64 emulator? A mate has it and reckons it's the nads. 32 Meg a game though. You can fit plenty on 1 CD.
Stella atari2600 is perfect to me religious nut. I haven't heard about the emulator you mentioned. Can you provide a link do I can download it and have a look. Some of those games get strangely addictive at times. Like Superman, River raid and a couple more.
Russ
UK - Saturday, September 02, 2000 at 04:58:17 (BST)
Hey Sorry I'm probably wrong and just the screenshot is from the later version anyway I can't disagree with craig seeing as he has sent me a lovely double speccy C.D. which has brought hundreds of memorys flooding back. Craig you you are truely a man to admire and respect
casper
cornwall - Saturday, September 02, 2000 at 04:56:08 (BST)
Don't ever forget people, Mr.Rothwell deserves a knighthood for his services to emulation.
Craig Fan
Great Britain - Saturday, September 02, 2000 at 00:58:24 (BST)
um... i've been playing the emulator since yesterday. I posted the thunderblade shot today. It also runs a few other system16 games, i'm still trying them. i can't get it to run turbo outrun though. There is a bootleg on ebay if anyone fancies doing the scene a favour.
craigix
- Friday, September 01, 2000 at 18:18:09 (BST)
Perhaps?
casper
- Friday, September 01, 2000 at 17:36:39 (BST)
Hey Craig, Sorry to ruin your exitement but some over at Jose Q noticed the Afterburner screenshot was from 1994 making a 32X game
casper
- Friday, September 01, 2000 at 17:34:44 (BST)
Feel free to re-post your lesbian pic or whatever it was supposed to be. i'll fix the cgi bug later today.
craigix
- Friday, September 01, 2000 at 07:24:36 (BST)
CraigoBot to the rescue.

USA - Friday, September 01, 2000 at 07:21:20 (BST)
Hey Stupid !!!
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. - Friday, September 01, 2000 at 01:21:15 (BST)

.
USA - Friday, September 01, 2000 at 01:20:43 (BST)
Ooops! My apologies (esp. to Craig) for the HTML cockup I just made, folks!
Mary Hough
- Thursday, August 31, 2000 at 22:13:43 (BST)
awight mate, i got some dodgy videos right here, an some rolexs what i got from a couple of black geezers the otha day. they are real like. come here and i'll let you see da shit. fuck the cops. leg it.
paul
- Thursday, August 31, 2000 at 11:32:18 (BST)
PCAE is the best Atari 2600 emulator. And there isn't much stuff weirder than the Atari 2600 games, although it is cool to have them all on a CD or about 5MB on your hard disk. I'm sure Craig can help you out there...
Religious Nut
U.K. - Thursday, August 31, 2000 at 00:11:15 (BST)
A mate said he has a N64 emulator. the games are 32 meg. Is it worth downloading or buying an original 2nd hand? One great thing about emulators is that they don't take up space. I have 1000s games and they ALL fit neatly on about 6 CDs.
When I was a kid, it used to be a pain setting up the Atari and tuning in the telly etc. Now you can just put a CD in. Has anyone heard of 'Stella'?, the great Atari 2600 Emulator??
Russ
UK - Wednesday, August 30, 2000 at 03:57:10 (BST)
lets be honest, there is nowhere better that pusey. I should send that photo into magazines. There should be postcards of it.
Craigix
- Wednesday, August 30, 2000 at 02:23:22 (BST)
there is a place called 'Smoo' somewhere near wales.
Kurt
- Wednesday, August 30, 2000 at 01:38:27 (BST)
No, it doen't look like it.
Religious Nut
U.K. - Wednesday, August 30, 2000 at 00:30:54 (BST)
Can anyone else suggest any other hillarious UK place names?
Jooles
- Monday, August 28, 2000 at 06:51:58 (BST)
Hey- wait a second. Isn't it great to be English! Enjoy your life. I'm singing to you from Sing-Sing.
Lunatic
Sing-Sing - Monday, August 28, 2000 at 00:47:02 (BST)
I can only apologize to anyone not invited into my imaginary Big brother scenario. Perhaps it has gone ever so slightly off the boil now anyway... Good for you, anyone who is agnostic rather than atheist. Who of us can claim to have access to any more than about 1% of the knowledge available in the Universe? Why can't there be more than enough evidence for the existence of God (and all sorts of other things) in the other 99%? So an honest person should be an agnostic rather than atheist. Of course there are also annoying people like me who find more than enough evidence for God in the 1%...
Religious Nut
U.K. - Monday, August 28, 2000 at 00:22:48 (BST)
Your epic war with the spider was enthralling, Craig. I kept wondering who would be the victor; Craig, with his superior size, weight and intelligence, or the humble spider with its indestructibleness. I look forward to the next battle with bated breath. I noticed RN didn't invite me along for his imaginary game of Big Brother. How very Christian of you. Incidentally, I prefer to think of myself as an agnostic, not an atheist. I just have a completely different perception of God from what you do. There were those of us who played Elite by hyper-spacing all over the galaxy, trading successfully in narcotics and blowing everything to bits, and then there were those of us who spent hours flying aimlessly through space and wondering why this game has almost as many keyboard functions as a PC flight sim. Does anyone know how to kill the big red thing at the end of the speccy version of Draconus?
Mark
Sweltering Scotland - Sunday, August 27, 2000 at 02:18:50 (BST)
Grapefruit
x
- Saturday, August 26, 2000 at 17:48:47 (BST)
'Advice on meeting women'? lol
Zowie moonbase unit
the sea - Friday, August 25, 2000 at 19:04:30 (BST)
Visual C++ has to be the most difficult program language to learn. the others are OK, even access 97, but this has got me bolloxed. I think my bootleg version don't work as when trying to program mouse based programs, it can't find the necessary header functions that should come with software. Can anyone help or has anyone got a full new bootleg V.C++ software to trade or sell. I have trillions of Mp3s, emulators, advice on meeting women etc.
Hope that works...
I was going to get evicted from this rant back page but thought what the hell?
russ
UK - Friday, August 25, 2000 at 05:13:10 (BST)
Will there be forms to fill out in space ?
Space Oddity
Peckham - Friday, August 25, 2000 at 00:16:34 (BST)
Why do forms have a space on them saying do not write in this space?
Jacqui
uk - Wednesday, August 23, 2000 at 19:22:25 (BST)
Heh, nice page craig. I think you probably need a jacket that ties at the back though. I like the way you have resisted putting a big advert banner on your page as i really hate those. Especially the 'hit the monkey' one.
Lee
uk - Tuesday, August 22, 2000 at 22:57:42 (BST)
I could never understand Elite either Russ. We have so much in common. That reminds me folks, still plenty of java Spectrum games available on my kerrazy religious site, mentioned about 700 messages down. Regarding the threats to me in a future Big Brother situation, I am very disappointed in you boys. I would like to nominate Russ and Craigo for eviction from the Rant Back page this week.
Religious Nut
U.K. - Sunday, August 20, 2000 at 00:43:51 (BST)
I'll take a bible and bash it over his bloody head!! HAHAHA :) I need to ask something from speccy days. I heard elite was supposedly the best game. I tried it a few times and couldn't bloody understand it. Did anyone actually get far??
Russ
UK - Saturday, August 19, 2000 at 04:40:04 (BST)
Thats a brilliant idea. And can we each have a weapon? I'll take the cutlas.
craigus
- Saturday, August 19, 2000 at 02:52:35 (BST)
How about a Big Brother scenario with me, Craigo, Anna, Helen(!), Russ, Interceptor and Jacqui? OK then, maybe not...
Religious Nut
U.K. - Saturday, August 19, 2000 at 01:35:11 (BST)
hhhmmm, did anyone actually complete macic miner on the spectrum without cheating?? I got to the warehouse. I could of gone further but me and my mate fell out and it was his machine. I didn't like the commodore version of the game either.
Russ
Uk - Thursday, August 17, 2000 at 02:22:21 (BST)
OK, let's talk about the things YOU want to talk about...
Russ
UK - Thursday, August 17, 2000 at 02:20:38 (BST)
Ooh, you devil.
Religious Nut
U.K. - Wednesday, August 16, 2000 at 00:08:17 (BST)
hahaha, look at you all, you got religious idiots trying to convert people and non-religious people trying to unconvert the religious people! the truth is, no-one in their right mind gives a shit. maybe craig should create a seperate rant area for you religious folk (beleivers and non-beleivers) so you can waffle on in there. might also be a good idea to guard it with tanks and vicious kiwis to make sure you all stay in there.
Interceptor
Bartertown - Tuesday, August 15, 2000 at 23:00:51 (BST)
I am not an athest. I said below I believe in God. But I still lead my life the way I want to, as long as I don't hurt anyone what harm can it do? You can't seem to make up your mind, are you leaving or staying?? You must enjoy hanging round a porn and emulator site, you are here more than anyone. In truth, you must be a 14 year old kid having a laugh with his mate.
Russ
UK - Tuesday, August 15, 2000 at 01:29:20 (BST)
I'm still here really.
Religious Nut
U.K. - Tuesday, August 15, 2000 at 00:03:06 (BST)
Head in hands.
Craigix
- Monday, August 14, 2000 at 18:35:31 (BST)
Make your mind up. First I am to be "scared off" by pornography and am blamed for frightening off other people from posting (or could it be nobody has anything funny or interesting to say). Then when I make a dignified exit, it is because my "faith is not strong enough". Then when I post again you don't like it. Well you have said nothing convincing in favour of atheism. You cannot answer any of my arguments properly. You have started making jokes about having sex with children, which is despicable. So you have your wish, I will not be reading this page again, and leave you with your closed minds and filth.
Religious Nut
U.K. - Monday, August 14, 2000 at 14:59:44 (BST)
OI!! Religious Nutter! Why post here when we make fun of you??? You are certainoly entertaining and have given us something to laugh about but bloody hell - get a life. when was the last time you had a bit??
Russ
UK - Monday, August 14, 2000 at 03:50:32 (BST)
A little girl says to her dad: "Dad, when will I have one of those big hairy things in between my legs?". Her dad goes "In 5 minutes when you Mom's gone to bingo!" Who the hell is that 'Ned' Flanders?
Russ
UK - Monday, August 14, 2000 at 03:48:33 (BST)
its called a joke mate
jonno
- Monday, August 14, 2000 at 02:31:29 (BST)
Hmm... paedophilia to add to murder and porn. What a pleasant and together bunch of people you all are.
Tommo
Essex - Monday, August 14, 2000 at 01:20:35 (BST)
there was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl says "Mommy what are they doing?." The mother hesitates then quickly replies "Ummm..... they are making cakes."

The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother "What are they are doing?" And her mother replies with the same response, "They are making cakes."

The next day the girl says to her mother "Mommy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the living room last night, eh?" Shocked, the Mother says, "How do you know?"

"Because I licked the icing off the sofa."
Amelia
england - Monday, August 14, 2000 at 01:12:18 (BST)
i think the world is a much better place now that Anna has started giving teeny tiny head.
Interceptor
Bartertown - Sunday, August 13, 2000 at 21:45:44 (BST)
I thought you lot didn't want my comments, because they were frightening people away etc. But I am moved that you missed me, and only too happy to contribute again. Thanks for the free advertising for my site, and the flattering mention of Ned Flanders. Be writing again soon!
Religious Nut
U.K. - Sunday, August 13, 2000 at 12:49:19 (BST)
hehehe. Religious nuts is right. Good points about the soul. I hope reicarnation doesn't exist as one life is more than enough for me. I may go to that chaps website- but I doubt it. Life is too short to wonder what happens when you die. Sort of defeats the object really. He gave up preaching to us which goes to show how strong his faith is. What a sad case. You mayybe right about callus. I do have it. Ghouls and ghosts looks and sounds perfect on it. I prefer ghosts and Goblins on MAME.
Russ
UK - Sunday, August 13, 2000 at 04:57:06 (BST)
My last rant should have started with HUMANKIND INVENTED RELIGION. Not HUMANKIND INVENTED RELGION. Relgion as we all know is a small colony on Mars, which will be constructed in the year 2035, and . no, it's no good, I can't cover up such an annoying typing error. Be a darling, Craigobot and stick in the missing letter 'I' for me. What's all this drivel about the Bible being the result of divine inspiration? What a pathetic excuse that is for writing any old nonsense. You never know, perhaps I've been 'divinely inspired' to write this (just joking). You're born, you live, you die. End of story. You never existed in any shape or form before you were conceived, so how can you possibly exist once your body has rotted away to dust? At what stage in the pregnancy is the soul supposed to come into being? When the sperm meets the egg? After a few months? This fictitious belief in souls has been ill thought out methinks. Also, I wouldn't advise anyone to visit that religious nut's web site. It mixes scare-mongering rubbish about hell with wacky animation for kids (even Ned Flander's web site wouldn't look this bad). It's one of the sickest sites I've ever seen, and I thought Craig's site was sick! There isn't even a comments page. One-way preaching - that's how all these religious weirdos like it.
Mark
Scotland - Sunday, August 13, 2000 at 02:24:04 (BST)
isn't callus a capcom emulator?
edbur
- Saturday, August 12, 2000 at 17:04:29 (BST)
A great sega emu is called 'callus'. Great perfect arcade quality games. ITC are fuckin idiots. Theyt are a bunch of hypocrites. Betcha each one loves porn, etc.
Russ
UK - Saturday, August 12, 2000 at 04:58:02 (BST)
When I did my paperound for Mr. Sackett the legendary paperboy before me was called Craigo. I think Mr. Sackett hated me. I was a rubbish paperboy. And I made terrible tea. He never let me work in the shop. By the way, who is Anna ? Her page is a bit boring. So is this one. You're good at CDs Craigo, but who cares if you like porno and murdering ?
Tommo
Essex - Saturday, August 12, 2000 at 01:21:50 (BST)
Yeah and bonanza bros (s24). I hear sega are working on a s16 emu for the dreamcast which will indeed support thunderblade etc. Afterall they know what that little bastard chip does on those boards that stops anyone emulating it. The one that does the maths i'd assume. Can't wait. :)
Craigo
uk - Friday, August 11, 2000 at 21:14:37 (BST)
Forget cps2 emulation, i wish someone would get the remaning system16 roms running. Afterburner, thunderblade and turbo outrun.
Bill
billsville - Friday, August 11, 2000 at 21:12:13 (BST)
Al tell thu summut... tis a bloody disgrace. bloody porn on this bloody site! as tellin thu! terrible! (How Much for your best vid?)
Saddam Hussein
Iraqistan - Tuesday, August 08, 2000 at 02:39:43 (BST)
So Ann Widdecombe has been caught speeding. Politicians are a bloody disgrace. Control freak Blair is getting as bad as all of them. Jack Straw is just a loser. Fat Cu*t Prescott needs retirement. Daarrr!! When I finish my studies, I am off to Australia. This country is going down, I tell ya.
Russ
UK - Tuesday, August 08, 2000 at 00:31:48 (BST)
Oh look all the religious nuts have scared away everyone. I'll hang an upside down cross from the top of the page. bwhahhaaa. Post cool links or talk about big brother or something. I think that in big brother it would be better if as the series went on the house got smaller and smaller, driving them mad. They should also turn off the electricity now and again, for fun. Not that I've even watched it mind. I'm sure its good as a webcam. wait.. i did watch it. online. They were making dinner. I can go down stairs and watch my family make dinner. And I get to eat it too.
Craigix
englando - Saturday, August 05, 2000 at 17:51:43 (BST)
...and it's not snowing around the creator...
russ
UK - Wednesday, August 02, 2000 at 01:19:54 (BST)
hahahahaha I have just found it!! R.H will tell you I know it. I won't spoil your suprise. Nice one. Will comment about your update next time...
Russ
UK - Tuesday, August 01, 2000 at 23:20:23 (BST)
you know whats funny? the number of times i'm asked that about the cheat! look at the screen shots! its quite clear on one of them something is wrong. click there. or try the guide. lalalalaa rage hard!
Craigo
lalalalaal - Tuesday, August 01, 2000 at 20:38:15 (BST)
Craigo, I tried to find the poke in your JSW screen shots, any chance of a clue?
Russ
UK - Tuesday, August 01, 2000 at 04:12:43 (BST)
You should be locked up. You hardly ever mention lard. Listen how its done at www.mp3.com/yaffle and you will forget your interest in porn. Worship the Fish and his mullet of doom.
Dr Cornelius Fish
England - Monday, July 31, 2000 at 20:08:44 (BST)
Thanks Craig.
Russ
UK - Monday, July 31, 2000 at 01:33:47 (BST)
Multiple posts removed by craigo-bot the future of web technology.

UK - Sunday, July 30, 2000 at 04:31:44 (BST)
Thanks for the compliment ANON! :) I was talking to my boss today and he said he was bpought up with lots of onorthodox Jews and apparantly if you knock one of their skullcaps off (skullcaps? wasn't that the bad guy in He-man?) then they are only allowed to walk a certain number of paces to retrieve it!!! If they can't get it then they are rooted to the spot. From sunset Fri nite to sunset Sat nite they are not allowed to do anything for themselves including lighting a fire! They used to pay local boys to did it for them! (no entrende intended). The worst of the lot are those jehova's witnesses. If your son os dying and a blood transfusion would save his life then naturally you's do it without hesitation. The bloody J.W. would turn it down adn let his kid die for his own selfish beliefs and religious principles!!! So weird me having a religious arguement. Shall we change the subject and rant about Something else?? Illegal immigrants? Jack Straw? The People newspaper? The queen Mother being So over rated?? I don't know, it's your shout people. You have a voice, go and use it!
Russ
UK - Sunday, July 30, 2000 at 04:29:09 (BST)
Rrrroooooaaaaarrrrrr! ........ meow. Evolution.
jimmeny
- Saturday, July 29, 2000 at 19:52:12 (BST)
DINOSAURS?!!!?
Masked Hater Killer
Cornwall - Saturday, July 29, 2000 at 19:46:54 (BST)
You're cool Russ

- Saturday, July 29, 2000 at 11:02:20 (BST)
hahaha. That guy's post (under Craig&co) had me laffing out loud. What a sad case. I was a little curious, it don't matter a fig and the end of the day as I know one day all the qestions will be asnswered. Till then I am gonna live my life to full. Mate, does it REALLY matter what you have said? Really?? What are you gonna do with this 'knowledge (ahem...opinion...ahem...)? nah, let's all have a healthy discussion by all means which I think is great but your last line 'Wake up and smell the coffee, pathetic atheists. ' makes me realise you are probably a sad old man who has fantasies about fondling public school boys. there is nothing wrong in being an athest as long as you are a good person with a good soul. take pride in what you belive but don't force and bully others into doingf the same and don't knock others for sharring different beliefs. I believe Jesus would be disapointed at your last remark. He forgives all sins doesn't he? I even heard once he loves us all...You should certainly practice what he preached. Righto Craig, any pics of some fannies? I would like to get an idea of what this guy looks like :D :D :D Thanks for listening and I believe in God by the way but my life is my own to follow. I don't think he has a problem with that.
Russ
UK - Saturday, July 29, 2000 at 05:09:10 (BST)
Your final sentance sums up your frustration. We don't need to answer, you have shown us your way of thinking leads to heads in the sand. Oh, and given us a good laugh too. Go create a world in 7 days or whatever, or deny the dinosaurs existed. I once saw this religious nut who claimed Queen Victoria and charlie chaplan had conspired to create the dinosaur 'hoax'. Really.
Craigo & co
hawwwsville - Saturday, July 29, 2000 at 03:15:09 (BST)
Although Craig has hypocritically tried to censor opposing viewpoints, some of the stupid rubbish written has to be answered. Evolutionists often point to the peppered moth as evidence for evolution. These moths in England were mostly light in color before the industrial revolution. As the trees and other outside surfaces darkened because of the burning of coal more of the dark variety appeared. Since both varieties were alive before the surfaces changed there is NO evolution here. The moths adapted to a change in environment. For true evolution to take place new information would have to added to their DNA. This has not happened. This process called Natural Selection does not create new information but is a destructive process that removes biological diversity from ecosystems. Natural selection is exactly what we would expect in a world cursed by sin. It cannot be the force behind evolution because it is not creative and doesn't add complexity to living things. Regarding the appendix, this and other organs have been regarded as vestigial by evolutionists in the past. But advances in our knowledge of physiology have shown that supposed vestigial organs are useful and sometimes essential. For example, textbooks as recently as the 1960s listed over 200 vestigial structures, and included the thyroid and pituitary. All of these are now known to have important function during the life of the organism. Organs can only be altered by a genetic alteration in their chromosomes or DNA. The use or disuse of an organ can have no effect whatsoever on subsequent generations anyway. Even if organs could be proved to be on the way out, where are the half-finished ones on the way in? The appendix argument is already discarded as the misconception of a former day. Wake up and smell the coffee, pathetic atheists.
-
- - Saturday, July 29, 2000 at 01:09:03 (BST)
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

USA - Saturday, July 29, 2000 at 00:25:13 (BST)
Your appendix was used way back in the evolution of humans before we ate other animals, it digests grass etc. (there is more to it than that but i don't have a biology degree) We don't use it anymore so it does nothing. Evolution my dear 'hide from the facts' religious friends. Its real.
Craigo
newcastle - Thursday, July 27, 2000 at 14:39:09 (BST)
Actually, what was the apendix used for?? I would like to know. I think religion is a personal thing and no one has the right to dictate what religion you follow. I will never be one of those sad nutters who have nothing better to do on a Saturday afternoon preaching religion. They should find something a bit more practical to do with their beliefs like go and work for the Samaritans or some other charity work. More people would benefit.
Russ
UK - Thursday, July 27, 2000 at 04:23:58 (BST)
i always think its funny that these religious nuts try to convert us over to their magical 'we live in a fantasy world' way of thinking. Are they scared of somehting? Why do they want us all thinking the same thing? Oh, and as for evolution - you can see it in moths and many other creatures. Even us. What do you think your appendix was for?
lenroye
uk - Wednesday, July 26, 2000 at 18:39:44 (BST)
If I was a catholic in love with a monarch then I'd sod religion. Folks, we have only one life I suggest you make it as colourful as you can. As long as you are good then what harm can it do?? Holy Joe? B'ah! Those religious sikhs or whatever starve themselves (fasting) for religion? Arranged marraige? if I had a sister and she was in a arranged marraige to a thug then I'd sod religion...right that's that! many thanks to Craig for the pics. Mark from Sensible scotland talks sense! My fave pic is either no. 1 or 2. ;) Craig, R U working on a jet set willy II game as I thought the 1st one is to small. Cheers man
Russ
UK - Wednesday, July 26, 2000 at 01:36:23 (BST)
I have made my own mind up, Mark, to accept the mountain of evidence in favour of the Bible. The fact that it was written down by humans is hardly evidence against it being divinely inspired. Visit my site as mentioned earlier. Your only evidence is how you felt after going on a camping trip, by the sounds of it. Have you considered where the human race originated from? Have you actually thought about the issue at all, or do you just want an excuse to be a sinner? As for Craig's ramblings, Catholic priests abusive or otherwise have nothing to do with Christianity, Catholicism is just a cult, one reason why it is illegal for a Catholic to marry a monarch. And you don't need porn to get rid of me, I'm off. And I'm taking all my aliases with me.
Holy Joe, Mr Common Sense etc, etc
A better country - Wednesday, July 26, 2000 at 01:07:31 (BST)
ask and thou shalt recieve, or whatever. Look, i'm being all religious here.

Your wish my command? is that one too? oh well... the picture means the same in all languages so be happy.
Craigo
britannia - Tuesday, July 25, 2000 at 01:14:05 (BST)
HUMANKIND INVENTED RELGION. Once this basic fact is accepted then the very foundation upon which all recognised religions stand immediately crumbles and falls. Of course we invented religion. Who else could have? You never heard of cats and dogs forming their own church. The fact that men wrote the scriptures makes them fallible. Why? Because we know mankind. We know ourselves and we know what other people are like. We know that we are all fallible and prone to exaggerate the truth. So.why put your faith in the imperfect teachings of man? Try an experiment: go camping with adequate provisions for a couple of months and you will witness some of the wonders which this planet (this chance occurrence in space) has to offer. You may find yourself, but you will not find God. Only when you return to society will you once again be susceptible to having your mind poisoned by the delusions of people like Holy Joe. Personally, I denounce all religious texts and religions as being both dangerous and manipulative. Honestly folks, you should make up YOUR OWN MINDS about the big questions in life, rather than hanging yourself on other people's words.
Mark
Sensible Scotland - Tuesday, July 25, 2000 at 00:13:14 (BST)
Yeeeeeeeees! movie reviews! More more more more! The more shocking the better. Someone review animal bizarre.
Craigo
somewhere in the uk sometime soon something sumit - Monday, July 24, 2000 at 15:24:26 (BST)
Actually, the vast majority of the killing of the last century was by atheists like Lenin, Stalin, Hitler, Mao and Pol Pot. A true Christian is a pacifist. I can't speak for fundamentalist Muslims, of course... And by the way, street preachers like hecklers. At least it shows someone is listening.
Mr Common Sense
Saneville - Monday, July 24, 2000 at 14:37:51 (BST)
PS, the thing I hate about religion is the wars it causes. if you believe something, fair enough but don't kill others for not sharing your thoughts. People who preach in city centres think they are more right than the hecklers cos they have a microphone. Those hecklers have a right to their own opinion, however outlandish. Right Craigo, any pictures of some tits? we could all use a break on this page ;)
Russ
Uk - Monday, July 24, 2000 at 02:15:55 (BST)
PS, the thing I hate about religion is the wars it causes. if you believe something, fair enough but don't kill others for not sharing your thoughts. People who preach in city centres think they are more right than the hecklers cos they have a microphone. Those hecklers have a right to their own opinion, however outlandish. Right Craigo, any pictures of some tits? we could all use a break on this page ;)
Russ
Uk - Monday, July 24, 2000 at 02:15:47 (BST)
I saw Mission impossible 2 tonight and thought it was shit. Cruise is a talentless dwarf who should of appeared as an extra in santa claus the movie. The action was boring and the plot was ridiculous. Gladiator was infinately better
Russ
UK - Monday, July 24, 2000 at 02:13:03 (BST)
Most people's religion is pride and selfishness. The only problem is, you still have to explain how we all got here, and the crazy theory of evolution sure ain't the answer. All you have in nature are fixed species, there aren't billions of half-changed creatures inbetween each, apart from possibly the population of Wales between apes and humans. It all points to instant creation. So there.
Mr. Common Sense
Sanityville - Monday, July 24, 2000 at 01:21:47 (BST)
I can't believe that these religious nuts read the page, i mean i'm forever insulting them for my own entertainment. I could go on, but i can't be bumed. My religion in rothism and thats that. lalalalalalalalala can't hear you. lalalalalaalalalalaaaaaaaaaaa.
Craigo
englandix - Sunday, July 23, 2000 at 22:55:55 (BST)
Any Jehovah's Witnesses in the house?
the masked hater killer
down south - Sunday, July 23, 2000 at 14:03:49 (BST)
Absolutely, I agree with you (not the confused part obviously). You probably have misunderstood as to what I was trying to say. I am a catholic but I don't agree with some of the stuff the Roman catholic church preaches. Are you a christian by any chance 'Holy' Joe?
Becky
UK - Saturday, July 22, 2000 at 04:38:31 (BST)
Actually, the last thing a Catholic would do is preach the Bible, they have spent most of history burning people at the stake for reading it and having services in Latin so nobody can understand their lies. Their popes and priests want to tell you what to do, Catholics are not encouraged to think for themselves. Most of them slip, and become as confused as little Becky.
Holy Joe
Heavenly Places - Thursday, July 20, 2000 at 23:52:38 (BST)
WAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP?
Interceptor
bartertown - Thursday, July 20, 2000 at 21:19:35 (BST)
Typical Catholic ay? Hypocritical Bastard. A typical Catholic would say the stuff you say. In my experience they preach the bible but live their lives differently. "Do as I say, not as I do". Bah!
Becky
UK - Thursday, July 20, 2000 at 01:55:23 (BST)
No, you are talking thought-disordered nonsense, you weirdo. Typical Catholic.
Holy Joe
Heavenly Places - Wednesday, July 19, 2000 at 01:35:26 (BST)
I really do have to say that most of you don't know what the hell you are talking about!! Excuse the pun!!! I can tell you now that being a Catholic, the bible is full of contradictions. If you people have to come on here and say that people have to read the bible to fulfill there spiritual lives here on earth then you really haven't "Studied" the bible very well have you???? Peoples own opinion counts a lot and to tell you the truth the Bible is open to interpretation, for why was it written???? Think about that for a while, you will soon see that it all makes sense!!!! Go and read it again and again until you GET it. Thank you!!!!! God bless you all!!!!
Becky
UK - Wednesday, July 19, 2000 at 00:42:41 (BST)
I didn't realise reading the bible was such an obligation ...
Russell
UK - Monday, July 17, 2000 at 23:56:15 (BST)
Mar 16:15 And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature. 16:16 He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned. John 8:44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. Try sticking with the Bible, rather than your wishful thinking.
Holy Joe
Heavenly Places - Monday, July 17, 2000 at 01:43:56 (BST)
I thought God was supposed to save our souls and forgive our sins. And why wouldn't he save my soul? It belongs to him!
Russell
UK - Monday, July 17, 2000 at 01:09:51 (BST)
Matthew 10:28 And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. That's God, by the way, people. Look at www.freezone.co.uk/bc1 for more details.
Holy Joe
Heavenly Places - Monday, July 17, 2000 at 00:24:52 (BST)
Hey, Craig, could you put a link to my site, The Lair of The Bavarian Sand Monkey? It's a kind of remakes/ retrogaming page. http://andsom.tripod.com/monkey.htm
Andrew
Scotland - Sunday, July 16, 2000 at 16:43:28 (BST)
You can certainly batter souls a lot, but it seems that they always have the possibility of recovering, so I guess you can't actually kill them.
Sivvy
- Sunday, July 16, 2000 at 15:05:29 (BST)
Only hope is eternal - I think. can you actually kill a soul?
Russell
UK - Sunday, July 16, 2000 at 03:56:54 (BST)
Is life eternal?
Sivvy
- Saturday, July 15, 2000 at 12:33:30 (BST)
Hhhmmm, from Norway? Are you good at fishing? If so you can help us take on the Spanish bastards who take over our waters
Tony
England - Saturday, July 15, 2000 at 05:05:35 (BST)
Hello people, I hope you are welcoming of the foreigners on this page. After all, you allow the smelly Frenchmen like Henri L'Escargot, and all the gay faggots. Can I suggest that you only post if you are drunk or high on drugs in the early hours of the morning and use a false celebrity name ?
Morten Harket
Norway - Saturday, July 15, 2000 at 01:20:45 (BST)
I am an insomniac. Have a right 'royal' twat of a problem, an alcolic son more popular than me, a balding baby about to take over my position, (Which one?) an ugly wife and i have to run the country. If I had a gun,. I'd shoot prescott and the fucker in the glasses 'straw' I am thinking about retiring to Europe and all those lovely Euros...Who needs the British people? Don't mention the war, The SUN or Maggie to me... :D I always smile for the people. I WILL WIN THE NEXT ELECTION!!!! VOTE 'NEW' LABOUR. :D :D >D
Tony
10 Downing street - Thursday, July 13, 2000 at 05:19:56 (BST)
I still want to come back as a tampon. Not Camilla's anymore, mind. I want to to come back as...Tiggy's
Prince Charles
Windsor castle - Thursday, July 13, 2000 at 05:15:01 (BST)
You will never find Jimmy somerville ,he is probably up Graham Nortons ass ,he is only a smalltown boy anyway.If you do find him,make sure you slap him because if you make a fist of your hand,his pants will be down.
Bronski beatoff
scotland - Wednesday, July 12, 2000 at 12:07:01 (BST)
No, he's not my brother but if I ever meet him I'll punch him for you.
Andrew Sommerville
Scotland - Tuesday, July 11, 2000 at 18:01:54 (BST)
Hi, Stephen Hawking here, famous wheelchair-bound boffin. I am typing this with a pen held between my teeth... hey, whoa... thump.
Stephen Hawking
On the floor. Help somebody. - Tuesday, July 11, 2000 at 12:18:51 (BST)
Andrew Sommerville, do you have a screechy-voiced gay ginger brother called Jimmy ? If so, please punch him in the face for me immediately.
Henri L'Escargot
Paris - Tuesday, July 11, 2000 at 00:46:11 (BST)
yes, i'm away for a couple of days and can't get my email. I will get it in the end. Everythings always ok in the end. And yes, i got the order.
craigo
usk - Monday, July 10, 2000 at 22:49:34 (BST)
Craig, I sent money for a Gameboy CD over 3 weeks ago and haven't recieved it yet. Did you get the money? I've mailed you a few times and haven't got any reply.
Andrew Sommerville
Scotland - Monday, July 10, 2000 at 18:04:02 (BST)
You Bastard, you wouldn't let it lie with the sex-change pics, wouldja? Talk about stomach-churning! BTW, thanks for the "Evil Dead" game link, could be promising! May you all be forced to eat Euan Blair's vomit. Lotsa Love dearies!
natterjack
deepest Boingland - Sunday, July 09, 2000 at 15:51:47 (BST)
yeah... your could talk each other to sleep... or something. Putting freshly washed/ironed sheets on the bed helps. Mmmm i love that.
Craigo
Greeeet britan - Saturday, July 08, 2000 at 18:37:54 (BST)
i would love to talk with other imsomninacs- can any one help?
Cheesus
GB - Saturday, July 08, 2000 at 01:50:40 (BST)
Just out of matter of interest,has anyone got any links to "spam erotica".
spam head
England - Wednesday, July 05, 2000 at 18:51:39 (BST)
Damn... there is a bug in the cgi script i forgot to reset the font. Ohh well more work for me :-/ after such a busy weekend too. Spam! yay! Don't worry too much and craigobot will come to life and say in a robot like amiga voice 'Danger will robinson! danger!' and start to set fire to things and go mad and try to kill me. Which would not really help matters when i think about it.
Craigo
Republic of craigs bedroom - Wednesday, July 05, 2000 at 02:01:45 (BST)
Did somebody mention me? I'm back! By the way, spam head, spam comes from foxes, another good reason to shoot 'em!
Camilla Parker-Bowels
Engerland - Wednesday, July 05, 2000 at 00:54:48 (BST)
Is that you mum? Camilla Parker-Bowels is driving us nuts.
Princes William and Harry
Buck House - Wednesday, July 05, 2000 at 00:51:57 (BST)
I found it impossible to swallow the stones at Avebury without a glass of water. And then I had indigestion for days. So yes, Craig, they do make you ill. Oh sorry, just remembered I'm dead.
Princess Diana
The Underworld - Wednesday, July 05, 2000 at 00:48:55 (BST)
Can I just say that people from Liverpool have the most irritating accent ever. And they are all twats.
Douglas Goulash
England - Wednesday, July 05, 2000 at 00:08:53 (BST)
Yeah is that right ,I bet you dont even know what animal spam comes from.
spam head
England - Tuesday, July 04, 2000 at 19:09:20 (BST)
The only thing better than Spam is the people who get self-righteously upset by it.
Spam Lord
Spamsterdam - Tuesday, July 04, 2000 at 16:13:13 (BST)
I dont belive it spam on the rant page!!! if only craigbot was here,he would sort it out.
spam head
England - Tuesday, July 04, 2000 at 12:08:07 (BST)
If you like online Java games, including Spectrum ones, try this site:- www.freezone.co.uk/av1611/index.htm
Gameboy
England - Monday, July 03, 2000 at 14:41:37 (BST)
It's good to hear that you're a fan of Lexx, Craig. Stan is undoubtedly the man although I preferred the lovely Eva Habermann as Zev more than Xenia Seeburg's Xev. All these Star Trek spin-offs are so dull and tedious. Have you seen Farscape (on BBC2)? Actually it's alright once you get into it, but they've totally ripped of the whole living ship thing from Lexx. Speaking of rip-offs, why not post the web site/e-mail of the guy who's copied your site and is selling the same CDs for double the price? Then we can all send him hate mail. I hope you're feeling better now, Craig. Building sites aside, personally I think it's all this clammy weather we've been getting. My hay fever's quite bad and I feel like I've got a headache most of the time. There always seems to be some bastard cutting the grass wherever I go. Still, aren't beds a great invention? Why do we ever bother getting up in the morning?
Mark
Sleepy Scotland - Monday, July 03, 2000 at 00:33:58 (BST)
Well, unlike Roger Bugger, I do find the recent comments distasteful. And sorry to rain on your parade Big Chief, but "horse love" is illegal, at least in this country.
Bugger Rogers
Wales - Saturday, July 01, 2000 at 02:48:19 (BST)
Hi, Big Chief Talking Bull here. Just to let you know about my organization, Cherokees for Cherry Trees. By the way, why is everyone so dull and miserable on this page? Have you never fallen in love? I love my horse Tiddles.
Big Chief Talking Bull
India - Saturday, July 01, 2000 at 02:42:06 (BST)
I don't know what all the fuss is about, personally.
Roger Bugger
P.S. Jacqui, you can't spell. - Saturday, July 01, 2000 at 01:46:07 (BST)
Don't know about bugger but I know 'Roger' is a rude word... In London, 'back and front' has a new meaning too. OOh missus!
Russ
UK - Friday, June 30, 2000 at 03:40:54 (BST)
How comes when you are always late for something things happen to make you even later I am dieing to know!!
Jacqui
UK - Thursday, June 29, 2000 at 19:50:34 (BST)
Bugger is a lovely word, and here in my part of the country is used in everyday language by respectable people in a friendly way. This is the way it should be all over the country! I feel that we should change the meaning of this word. It's such a lovely friendly-sounding word, but, as I'm sure you're all aware, it actually means bottom sex - which is quite rude really. I'd really like to use this word without swearing & offending, as I'm extremely non-offensive person, mild and wishy-washy. So, here's my proposal, we strip 'bugger' of it's swear-word status, and of it's disgusting meaning. I suppose as this is 'rant back' I should be commenting on craigo's rants, not ranting away myself, but it's the only immediate outlet for my buggery concern. Yes, yes, I'll bugger off now.
Cecilia
- Thursday, June 29, 2000 at 19:39:24 (BST)
I object to being called a misfit or weirdo. I am a respectable member of the medical community.
Harold Shipman
H.M. Prison - Thursday, June 29, 2000 at 11:09:04 (BST)
Nice one, look at what you've done craig you seem to have attracted a right bunch of misfits and weirdos to the old page. Anyone reading this thinking that I dont mean you, I DO.
Jimmy 2phats
Uk - Thursday, June 29, 2000 at 01:38:28 (BST)
Everyone! Go to www.mingers.com. See your future children!
Jonny Loon
Yes - Wednesday, June 28, 2000 at 14:23:23 (BST)
So who's the stupid one now, Mr. Nipplonk ? You have spoiled Craig's rant page. Now everyone will hate you.
Big Chief Talking Bull
India - Wednesday, June 28, 2000 at 01:12:30 (BST)
The multiple posts were removed by craigobot the future of web technology.
Red Indians believe all trees have a spirit, some good, some evil, some not quite sure. Well, with stupid ideas like that, no wonder the Americans polished them off so easily.
Arnold Nipplonk
Iraq - Wednesday, June 28, 2000 at 01:07:24 (BST)
Craig is a wicked man for putting such links up, I am sure they could be quite distracting to some, and a potential cause of blindness. Not that I've looked myself, of course.
Harold Shipman
H.M. Prison - Wednesday, June 28, 2000 at 01:03:24 (BST)
Cherry trees are very naughty. I've seen one flashing at passers by before. And i caught one breaking in to a house once. Come to think of it, apple trees are right twats too....
smoochypoos
Planet weeeee - Wednesday, June 28, 2000 at 00:52:09 (BST)
surely cherry trees can't be evil, well, I've only ever met nice ones.
AB
- Wednesday, June 28, 2000 at 00:04:56 (BST)
If you just want sex pictures, may i recommend www.xxxsexpixs.com which is just an archive of free porn. No pop up windows either. Haha! I should do a good links section. Thats what this needs. Links to all the stuff the daily mail want banned. Hmmm. Should this update be in the main page? Oh god. I'm updating 2 pages now. Wonderful.
Craigo
Englix - Tuesday, June 27, 2000 at 20:13:39 (BST)
That's all fine and dandy standing up for your rights on petrol prices, but still doesn't stop us wanting to see more of Jacqui's pink moist flubbery bits....... ;P
Blah
- Tuesday, June 27, 2000 at 16:26:20 (BST)
I would like the whole of the uk to stand up and fight the robbing bastard goverment over petrol prices. Come on guys lets do it!!
Pissed off
Cornwall - Tuesday, June 27, 2000 at 13:43:47 (BST)
I think you all need to get outside and pull some birds instead of fantasisng about girls on the internet.
Identity Crisis
UK - Tuesday, June 27, 2000 at 13:30:25 (BST)
Much prefer the 'feelin' variety.... ouch.....
Blah
- Tuesday, June 27, 2000 at 09:13:09 (BST)
Don't get your hopes up. When Craig has a link to a picture of a pussy it is invariably and of course hilariously of the feline variety.
Frustrated
North Pole - Tuesday, June 27, 2000 at 01:02:52 (BST)
Nah, only saw those 2 fleshy mounds, wanna see flesh, pulsing flesh.... ooooooh.............
Blah
- Monday, June 26, 2000 at 15:52:31 (BST)
You mean you haven`t already?
Honesty man
England - Monday, June 26, 2000 at 11:48:57 (BST)
So does that mean we're gonna get te see the delectable Jacqui's pussy??? ;P
Blah
UK - Monday, June 26, 2000 at 11:45:15 (BST)
karma karma karma karma karma chameleon. you come and go. you come and go-oh-oh-oh.
Jimmy Henfeet
No man's land - Monday, June 26, 2000 at 00:19:22 (BST)
may I please rant about the rants. I mean, rants are interesting & gigglesome reading, but the ranters must be so stressed out in order to feel the need to rant so excessively. perhaps though the ranting experience in itself rids the ranter of these stresses, and allows them to once again feel a beautiful calm come over them. or maybe they stay stressed out & get filled with anger at the world, and become dangerous beings. so craigo, what kind of a ranter are you?
karma chameleon
- Sunday, June 25, 2000 at 22:40:31 (BST)
O.K: FUCK THIS, HERES MY FINAL DISS, FUCK YOU DAMN ARSEHOLES YOU AIN'T SHIT LIKE PISS. ahem. What pisses me off is the fact that everyone bitches about something (ie. Foxhunting) but the bastards never do anything about it. If you're so bothered about a few bastard foxes go shoot the fuck outta the hunters. I BELIEVE IN NOTHING. BUT IT IS MY NOTHING.
Identity Crisis
Naboo - Sunday, June 25, 2000 at 22:22:45 (BST)
why is there a picture of david beckham and buddy holly on this page?
me
here - Sunday, June 25, 2000 at 19:21:41 (BST)
Yeah I agree lets make more fun of fat girl me!! You wanna piece of me come on!! I got enough to go round I mean hey being fat there are loads of pieces of me to take! So come on lets have all the fat jokes and piss takes of me! I am ready to hear them!!
Jacqui
UK - Sunday, June 25, 2000 at 18:45:59 (BST)
More Sex! More Violence! More exposure of totally twatty censorship laws! More pics of naked people! And more of Craig's weird "Daily Mail" articles! PS. Less pictures of sex change operations please, that pic has put me off the old Walls Jumbo sausages for life!
natterjack
uk - Sunday, June 25, 2000 at 15:53:04 (BST)
To quote shakespeare, This is shit.
Gus
Uk - Sunday, June 25, 2000 at 11:36:43 (BST)
It looks like the page has gone into a temporary slump. It will be more fun if more people wind up fat girl Jacqui.
cantthinkoffunnyname
cantthinkoffunnyplace - Sunday, June 25, 2000 at 00:29:10 (BST)
Oh no! all of you stop arguing. Its just not on! I'm not well, so i'm going back to bed. Now be nice. Or Helen (who owns the website) will close us down.
Craigo
UK4today - Saturday, June 24, 2000 at 21:50:30 (BST)
If craig and Helen are no longer an item,can we have some pictures of your pussy?
Stirrup
England. - Saturday, June 24, 2000 at 21:35:43 (BST)
shouldn't that be 'you're alive' at the top there. yes, I'm bored
A-B
- Saturday, June 24, 2000 at 15:16:48 (BST)
For your information Stirrer I am just a real good friend of Craigs and we joke around together. Call me a whore if you like but you don't know me so shut your mouth!! Helen and Craig are no longer an item as of like before Christmas I think. Sorry to disappoint you! Believe it or not I am quite a nice person just like to mess around!!
Jacqui
UK - Saturday, June 24, 2000 at 10:46:05 (BST)
My move: e2-e4. Your move, creep.
Gary Kasparov (impersonating Robocop)
Scotla- damn, I mean Russia. - Saturday, June 24, 2000 at 00:22:53 (BST)
Does Helen Foote know about this self-confessed whore Jacqui? What has happened to Helen? We never hear about her.
Stirrer
Bedlam - Saturday, June 24, 2000 at 00:22:25 (BST)
WEll fine if that is the way you want to be then fair enough!! If they are gay then they are gay no matter what is said to them. I know alot of kids who have gone through hell because being gay is not classed as "normal". To be honest no-one can be normal. If we are more open about gays then kids will not have to feel so alone. There is nothing wrong with being gay. If they are happy then fair enough. It is not like they are going to promote it they are just letting it be known that it exists and is nothing to feel ashamed of!!
Jacqui
UK - Friday, June 23, 2000 at 23:35:05 (BST)
If you were my childs teacher I would not let them go to school,clause 28 helps protect kids,let the kids grow up "normal" then if they want to experiment then let them.
Mrs Madge Oratee.
England - Friday, June 23, 2000 at 13:50:04 (BST)
Yes. Finally clause 28 is out in Scotland. Shouldn't be much longer till the rest of us agree and it is totally abolished. I think the majority now agree that it should be abolished anyway it is only the small minority that don't! So come on Mr Blair and the labour possey lets get it right! Give us teachers the right to talk openly about gays!!!
Jacqui
UK - Thursday, June 22, 2000 at 19:03:07 (BST)
There goes clause 28.
Riddler
England - Thursday, June 22, 2000 at 13:38:44 (BST)
I don't know how to answer that.
Craigo
UK-ohgod - Thursday, June 22, 2000 at 01:46:47 (BST)
Craig that huge 9" of vibrating passion doesn't compare to your sweet caressing lips whilst rimming. I just can't get enough of you joy stick it really makes my mouse click!!! Infact I want you right now!! Thats it you are all mine big boy!! Give me yourself. Make me scream and shiver with joy from your amasing tongue power!!!
Jacqui
Uk - Thursday, June 22, 2000 at 01:42:50 (BST)
OK, so we made a few porno movies, now your stalking me for more anal sex. What do you think your giant vibrator is for? ohhh baby
Craigo
UK-wheyhey - Thursday, June 22, 2000 at 01:39:18 (BST)
Craig everyone knows now that we are together!! Hence the porno being made with loads of anal sex and tit wanking!!! Incase they don't know! HI I AM CRAIGS HOE!!!! I'll do anything on an hourly rate!!! Arrange it with my main pimping man! Craig I love you :o) xxxxxx
Jacqui
UK - Thursday, June 22, 2000 at 01:36:33 (BST)
oh great, broadcast all our antics to the world! lol
Craigo
UK-for-today - Thursday, June 22, 2000 at 01:27:32 (BST)
Maybe I will Craigy darling!! In return for loads of bum sex :o) Ohh and what ever else you care to give me!!
Jacqui
uk - Thursday, June 22, 2000 at 01:25:56 (BST)
well why don't you entertain us all with storys of fabulous gay issues in here jacqui darling?
Craigo
UK-away! - Thursday, June 22, 2000 at 01:11:47 (BST)
I like the original style of your rants why change it!! Now it looks spaced and organised not good!!! Give us GAY anal sex :o)
Jacqui
uk - Thursday, June 22, 2000 at 01:19:34 (BST)
Good result in the footy tonight...Germany are out..Mind you, so are England...Don't know about what to do with those dead bodies but those gangsters got paid plenty for it...I saw we deport Jack Straw. The guy is far to soft...Kylie's Bum?? No ta! Does Billie take Drugs?? You, the jury have a guess...Kidney infection?? B'ah!
Russell
England - Tuesday, June 20, 2000 at 23:09:11 (BST)
Hey - I'm the one who does the innuendo round here. Carry on Craig.
Craigo
uk-horray! - Tuesday, June 20, 2000 at 17:51:20 (BST)
Ooh, show me your big fire hose! <\font>
Steven Gately
Gayzone - Tuesday, June 20, 2000 at 12:02:52 (BST)
Don't make me turn the fire hose on you two.
Craigo
uk-way-lay-day - Tuesday, June 20, 2000 at 01:21:21 (BST)
Oh, alright then, I'll play with you. You little minx.
Harold Shipman
H.M Prison - Tuesday, June 20, 2000 at 00:58:12 (BST)
Homersexuals like Gately make me sick. Doesn't anybody have morals any more? He ought to be locked up.
Harold Shipman
H.M.Prison - Tuesday, June 20, 2000 at 00:56:11 (BST)
Ooh, hello duckies. Does anybody want to come and play with me ?
Steven Gately
Gayzone - Tuesday, June 20, 2000 at 00:41:31 (BST)
For history and trivias sake the films real name is 'Animal Bizarre'. One of the women from it killed herself when people in holland found out where she lived and got all 'religious' on her. I know more trivia about it if you want to know it, but i've never seen the entire film. BBC2 showed a number of clips from it (but no actual sex) and had an interview with the director if I remember correctly.
Craigo
uk-ayayayay - Tuesday, June 20, 2000 at 00:38:33 (BST)
Harold Shipman! Couldn't you at least of done the decent thing and prescrible your pills to Jack Straw and 2 jags Prescott? I love this warm weather :) Dog-sex pictures??? Blimey Craig, not home videos are they :D -Did anyone catch that porno flick 'animal farm'?.
Russell
England - Monday, June 19, 2000 at 01:17:19 (BST)
Lockergnome This is what the "Lockergnome" looks like. What a geek.
Whinger
U.K. - Monday, June 19, 2000 at 01:11:10 (BST)
I hope nobody gets the earlier correspondent Dr.Shipman confused with the mass-murdering... oh, I can't be bothered. I am so unfunny. Just forget about me, and go back to looking at the moon. I'm just going to leave now. That's it. Goodbye. I really mean it.
Camilla Parker-Bowels
Yeah, whatever - Monday, June 19, 2000 at 00:57:05 (BST)
Did you see the size of the Moon tonight (sunday) it was massive, amazing, bigger than the sun. It had a nice glow to it as well. Is there any place on Earth where the moon is REALLY massive? The equator or something let me know if you live there. It should be similar tommorow night too so have a look out.
Jimmy 2phats
Uk - Monday, June 19, 2000 at 00:47:04 (BST)
Get outside and look at the moon!
Lenny
UK - Monday, June 19, 2000 at 00:47:03 (BST)
I hope nobody will get the earlier fox-hating correspondent Camilla Parker-Bowels confused with the hideous troll Camilla associated with Big Ears. The former is simply a harmless small intestinal complaint. By the way, it's great in here.
Dr. Harold Shipman
H.M. Prison - Monday, June 19, 2000 at 00:38:21 (BST)
A butcher's chop is a dead man's meat.
Jimmy Henfeet
No man's land - Monday, June 19, 2000 at 00:19:34 (BST)
fucking football hooligans !!! The cast of Ibiza uncovered move to Holland/belgium for a "bitta trouble" while the footballs on,and get the England side kicked out. Its going to happen. Of the 800 fans arrested the government say "none are known troublemaker". That line must have been rehearsed more than Barbara Cartlands will. This govenment sucks,they are so weak,so scared to upset a minority.
Riddler
England - Sunday, June 18, 2000 at 22:25:31 (BST)
I knew this was a bad idea. lol
Craigo
UK - Sunday, June 18, 2000 at 14:54:32 (BST)
Where are the dog-sex pictures you promised?
Riddler
uk - Sunday, June 18, 2000 at 14:45:48 (BST)
Areet there ye fuckin mugs, lend us a fiver will you. Yu'll gerrit back the morra when a get me rock n roll. Strites. Ahh just need some tak, am not addicted or nowt a just need it. What the fuck are yee lookin at ye bastad? du ye want ye fuckin gan. well haway then. Are yee a fuckin radgi? So are ye gannin to lend us that money then mate. Fuckin gis it or al cut ye fuckin face for ye.
NAPA
NEWCASTLE - Sunday, June 18, 2000 at 13:55:23 (BST)
Just a test me shipmates. Shiver me timbers! I've changed the CGI-Script a little to allow you to use HTML to make your rants look more personalised. Argh! Abondon ship me harties!
Craigo
UK - Sunday, June 18, 2000 at 02:43:24 (BST)
Lexx now your talking - stan beats captain kirk anyday, and xev is better than Dr.Spark or whatever the one with the ears is called. I've been told Lynseys boobs are not real but i'm sure people will argue. I put the spider out the window and the next day it had came back in, i saw it come in and scuttle up the wall and onto the slanted ceiling of my room.. er.. i mean my office. Look at the quandry i'm in now, why am i replying in here? I should be on the real page. Ohh what a situation you have put me in. Its made slightly better by the gloriously warm night we have here in newcastle, so i'm just going to go with this cross posting of rants for now.
Craig
England - Sunday, June 18, 2000 at 02:23:19 (BST)
hello
n0 one ;)
- Sunday, June 18, 2000 at 02:15:41 (BST)
Don't tolerate the spider, Craig. It will only take advantage of your kindness and breed hundreds of baby spiders. One morning you'll awaken to discover your whole body swarming with hungry arachnids - a bit like that scene at the end of 'Creepshow'. Ban Channel 5? Never. It's all just politically correct thought police knee jerk reactionary stuff from bored journalists who obviously have nothing better to write about. Clean up your act or else... Or else what? They'll pull the plug on Channel 5? I don't think so. The only thing that shocked me about Naked Jungle was the size of Keith Chegwin's tiny manhood. What is it with these naturist fanatics? They always seem to have the sort of bodies that you don't want to see unclothed. I mean, who really wants to see some unattractive, tubby, middle-aged people creeping about in the nude? Not me, that's for sure. I wish someone would hand them a towel and say 'Please, cover yourself up. I don't particularly want to look at that. You're putting me off my food.' But C5's great. What other terrestrial channel would bring us Lexx and Xena? Did you see Linsey Dawn McKenzie on X-Certificate, stating that her boobs are naturally that big? Hmm... I wonder.
Mark
Scotland - Sunday, June 18, 2000 at 00:33:30 (BST)
I've been attacked by people, yet i'd still support the human race. I've been attacked by a dog, but I don't want them all killed for sport, Because i don't get off on killing animals for fun and putting the blood on my face like some sickos
Bilbo baggins
UK - Saturday, June 17, 2000 at 02:58:27 (BST)
Have you ever been attacked by a fox ? I didn't think so. Perhaps if you had you wouldn't be so quick to stick up for 'em.
Camilla Parker-Bowels
Engerland - Saturday, June 17, 2000 at 01:13:56 (BST)
Charles and Camilla hunt foxes near where I live,I wish one big "gay" fox would bite them on the ass.
Riddler
England - Friday, June 16, 2000 at 20:53:30 (BST)
In that song 'it's coming home', Baddiel and Skinner sang '30 years ago'. They should be ashamed that it's been over 30 years since we won a world cup!...The royal mail are too incompetent. Most public services are too. the transport system is the pits!...John Prescot should be sacked. he is the biggest twat in politics ever. Vote for Blair?? No thanks. I didn't in '97 either...BBC losing match of the day? I don't care as I have never watched it...Why honour a bravery award after Jill dando? She was just a career girl...I read in the letter page of the sun (about Prince williams' mug being put on a stamp) that it's a "disgrace" that Diana doesn't get her own stamp!! what a load of tosh! I am sick of still hearing about her. She is way, way WAY over rated....Charles SHOULD marry Camilla. He (and his other siblings) are FAR to weak people not to stand up to their Dad. We expect him to own the country when he can't stand up to a nearly 80 year old geriatric?? Can't think of nothing else in the papers to rant about. Till next time...
Russell
England - Friday, June 16, 2000 at 04:44:56 (BST)
Yes I seen that lockergnome page. When you mentioned it I then spent a whole night tracking it down via search engines and finally found it just to check your opinion on it. I'll tell you what would have been a better idea, if you had of told us all what you were talking about, not that I care. Have a bit of faith, good old England will trounce Fritz, just like we did in 1917 (probably) 1945 and 1966. We did give them a good beating, but I think it's time we moved on as far as I know they arent still going on about the war in other countries. Although here's hoping the Sun has some suitably humorous xenophobic material on Saturday morning. I'm not being sarcastic either I look forward to it. Anyway I didnt want to mention the football saying as Craig wont be interested but I didnt start it. Royal mail loses 1 million letters per week. I do not understand why there are a lot of letters still being sent, saying as millions now have the internet, email renders it obsolete and anyone who has the facility and still uses that victorian system is living in the past (unless theres stuff in the envelope).
Jimmy 2phats
UK - Friday, June 16, 2000 at 01:32:12 (BST)
Does anybody read the Lockergnome pages? Isn't that guy the saddest tosser of all time? Have you seen the stupid caricature he does of himself?
Whinger
U.K. - Friday, June 16, 2000 at 00:57:15 (BST)
I HATE Jane McDonald (I think that's the cruise ship woman) and I HATE Nikki 'French' who released a totally crap cover of total eclipse of the heart. They are both middle age wannabes with no talent. PS, England's result in the footy was no suprise, and I don't fancy their chances against German either... Craig: Your pic of Ena Sharples as linda Lee Potter was hilarious! >D
Russell
England - Thursday, June 15, 2000 at 04:07:19 (BST)
How much can you fit in this shit? We'll soon find out. That bloke, they said he had cancer, then a bad back, then cancer again, and then another bad back. And the papers said "Blunder docs get it wrong again". The way I see it, they only got it wrong once, what a rollercoaster ride though, it's funny cos it's not me. As for that merangue pie craig, you should try cheese it IS true what they say you have some fantastic nightmares on it. It cannot go without mentioning, Curly off of Coronation street has released a single, it's the worst thing I have ever seen. Every bastard has a single out these days, whats the obsession? There is a bird in the sun with big tits who now has a page 3 gig, a job with the lottery and a recording contract. Why do they always have to do the lot? Although I expect never to hear the single. That shit singer off the cruise has another album out I seen advertised on Tv. IT IS SHIT....SHE IS SHIT....Why oh why would anybody buy it you can see a singer of her standard in any club or cruiseship. And I certainly hope that this following storey is a joke, there is a book out for œ9.99 which is just blank pages. Not only that but they are having to "print" more copies because of demand. Now I know people are stupid, only too well but really...REALLY? I am missing something, I know I am.
Jimmy 2phats
Uk - Thursday, June 15, 2000 at 00:41:03 (BST)
Is it worth buying the Gameboy CD ? Is it just the duff games entered into that competition ? Is Craig brave/stupid enough to have put any commercial games onto it ?
Whinger
U.K. - Thursday, June 15, 2000 at 00:06:12 (BST)
Why do you never cover gay issues!! Give us more men too!! Not just women! You have girl fans too you know :o)
Jacqui
UK - Wednesday, June 14, 2000 at 20:34:30 (BST)
The royals are a good tourist attraction though, maybe we could replace them with giant mascots, the queen could be a giant panda bear and philip could be the bassat 'all sorts' man. They could be taught tricks too.
jimmy
uk - Wednesday, June 14, 2000 at 16:34:12 (BST)
Does anyone under the age of 75 really care about the Queen mother?? I am for a republic of England. The royals are a total waste of our money.
Russell
England - Wednesday, June 14, 2000 at 00:32:04 (BST)
Ban Channel 5??? Nah we need tacky stuff on T.v. The one thing that really get's to me is Channel 5 News. It's like the sun full of crap. Like to people care about Prince Wills letter to the guy who on Harrods?? There is more pressing news than that. I could easly pay for the Sun than to listen to some smug faced woman going on and on! At the end of the day channel 5 news it what the sun is like in the news paper world. Give me BBC News any day (even then watching news 24 the newsreaders there get to me but that's a diffrent moan)
Claire
- Wednesday, June 14, 2000 at 00:08:29 (BST)
if the world was like an orange, it'd be too small
Interceptor
- Wednesday, June 14, 2000 at 00:06:51 (BST)
k just looking at your site, madness with a touch of pornography in to keep interest-good move
mel
- Tuesday, June 13, 2000 at 21:22:31 (BST)
Craigo
This works then ;)
- Tuesday, June 13, 2000 at 17:43:32 (BST)