Rants Back at Craig - archive Oh pul-ease - the big diffrence between controling vermin and foxhunting is they are getting entertainment from it, they are having fun killing animals. Now if i went out and chased a cat/dog around the streets with my dog and killed it, smeared the blood on my face and had a jolly good laugh what would happen? I'd be bloody arrested.

I have no objections to controling animal numbers, what i object to is doing it for fun and calling it a 'sport' and anyway, they breed the foxes to kill them. There are no foxes left on the isles of man, Jersey etc. because they have been hunted to extiction, just like bears in this country. Controling the numbers my arse. They are doing it for fun. Fucking scum. One fat lady down...
craig
- Mon Feb 18 00:03:29 2002
Maybe the fox could be trained to lure the hunters to the dark part of the forest where Newcastle fans are waiting for them...
Russ
UK - Sun Feb 17 23:40:59 2002
What is a fox going to do with an AK47, it has no opposable thumbs, how will it hold it, let alone pull the trigger and deal with the recoil. Maybe a more sensible solution would be to give the fox some sort of metal collar which shoots out poison darts at hunters. Trouble would then be, how do you tell a hunter from an non hunter? Maybe it could use a small camera to detect red jackets and dearstalker hats, although rarely at the same time of course.
Soggster
UK - Sun Feb 17 22:40:20 2002
At the risk of talking about 'Serious Issues' on Rant Back - Point taken about controling Bunnies and Pidgeons (...I know you've got it in for them, ever since that one flew into you on Scunny high street :-) Fox hunting seems rather a cruel 'sport' - a bit like Manchester United vs 1 Scunny Player, and then they rip his tits off if they catch up with him. Perhaps a good rule change would be to give the fox an AK47?
Johnsy
Rhyl - Sun Feb 17 20:00:39 2002
The only objection I have to hunting is that it's full of ex-military no chin toffy nosed wankers. If things like pidgeons and rabbits were not controlled you'd have no bloody neeps and tatties left for yer bloody softy veggie burgers.

Come on...make a choice.
Soggster
UK - Sun Feb 17 19:28:46 2002
Hunting? Cunting!
green fairy dot com
- Sun Feb 17 14:42:53 2002
So good, you told us twice!
The Devil
Underground - Sun Feb 17 14:11:17 2002
When You get on her show I will give you the power to Shit down her neck before she can say "You are the weakest link, Goodbye"
Oh and don't thank me, just make sure that your balls are somewhere safe at the time. OK
I Am God
You Know Where!!! - Sun Feb 17 12:49:41 2002
When You get on her show I will give you the power to Shit down her neck before she can say "You are the weakest link, Goodbye"
Oh and don't thank me, just make sure that your balls are somewhere safe at the time. OK
I Am God
You Know Where!!! - Sun Feb 17 12:49:17 2002
Craig, write the word "CHARACTER."! 10 times in your sister's sawdust.

Anne Robinson is a cunt for supporting hunting. How much did those stupid fucking yanks pay her for that cack TV quiz show?

Anne Robinson: You are the weakest cunt. Fuck off.
Dictionary Dick
- Sun Feb 17 04:28:08 2002
I'm too scared now, fred west might be up there, i suggest whisker biscuit as a suitable entry into the slang dictionary, its my fave female genitalia reference.
bogus builder
uk - Sat Feb 16 22:05:01 2002
The person who lives upstairs has been stabbed to death.

If your attic is upstairs, maybe you should go up there. Go on. Go up.
craig
- Sat Feb 16 21:27:57 2002
I've got a wine coloured splash mark on my bedroom ceiling, it isnt bloody cum and its not beetroot piss,can anybody tell me what it is or how it got there!!

bogus builder
UK - Sat Feb 16 20:33:09 2002
Jamie Oliver
Adolf Hitler

erm...have I got the wrong end of the stick with this....
BattleM@n
UK - Sat Feb 16 17:57:24 2002
General Patton
The Mighty Atom

Hey this is fun....
Soggster
UK - Sat Feb 16 15:37:57 2002
Oliver Cromwell
Alistar Campbell

Need I say more?
craig
- Sat Feb 16 11:56:18 2002
THE QUEEN MOTHER IS DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Andy
North London - Sat Feb 16 04:28:30 2002
The Royal Family, apart from Prince William who is King Arthur reincarnated as the Antichrist, will all be wiped out, along with most of Western Europe and the United States by a comet hitting the Atlantic Ocean soon. That is how Prince William gets to be King, and later the Antichrist. It is obvious when you think about it.
Future News Information Service
Waterproof Chip Shop In Atlantis - Sat Feb 16 01:35:47 2002
It would be interesting if after all this she died in some unexpected way like a car accident or was assassinated.
craig
- Fri Feb 15 19:41:50 2002
Come on you old bitch, die today, preferably in front of the TV cameras so I can claim my MP3 player. (I am F on the guess the death date)

DIE DIE DIE..


Fat Uncle Mark
. - Fri Feb 15 12:02:38 2002
WHERE'S MY PRESENT, CRACKKK?
GRAIL
- Fri Feb 15 00:04:05 2002
Similar to the mix of emotions you get when you've just cum and realised the condom has broken.

Sort of "Ahhhhhhhh.......Arrrrrgh!"
Soggster
Uk - Thu Feb 14 22:01:02 2002
Red piss would scare me, as would red cum. I'm not sure what i'd find more scary, I think the cum one would be interesting seeing that in a state of ecstacy... it would be a fantastic mix of emotions.
craig
- Thu Feb 14 21:49:35 2002
Roses are red,
And so is your rag.
Your timing is lousy,
You killjoy slag.

:)

boki
- Thu Feb 14 21:26:57 2002
I once crashed my mountain bike while in a NEMBA downhill comp in the lake district. I fell on my arse at about 30mph after a jump. About 1 hour later my piss turned red, but I think that was for another reason.

PS. The Honey Monster is a girl and I did her up the front bottom....Actually.
Soggster
UK - Thu Feb 14 18:17:17 2002
roses are blue,
violets are red,
if you believe that,
then you got rocks in your head.
casonova
loveshack - Thu Feb 14 18:04:17 2002
http://vinnakinky.just.nu/
σουβλάκη
Hellas - Thu Feb 14 17:03:48 2002
Anyone ever eat loads of beetroot and have it turn your piss red? Now that's worrying...
plant
uk - Thu Feb 14 15:50:02 2002
Happy Valentines! Did anyone get anything nice? I got some pumpkin seeds and bread sauce from Craig. Lovely.
Lisa
- Thu Feb 14 13:37:42 2002
It's from shagging Honey Monster. Up the arse.
Powerhouse
Wales - Thu Feb 14 13:15:31 2002
i remember reading an article on why that happened. possibly online.
craig
- Thu Feb 14 12:01:08 2002
It's nothing to do with Sugar puff eating...actually.
mat
bristol - Thu Feb 14 11:59:16 2002
I had some sugar puffs on holiday, and they didn't give me sugar puff wee, unlike UK sugar puffs which make my piss stink of pure sugar puffs.
Soggster
UK - Wed Feb 13 23:52:15 2002
Repressed maybe - but it's like winning a lottery ;)
Gollywog
Jam-Jar - Wed Feb 13 18:52:16 2002
Thats another thing, why do they have to keep bringing up the slavery thing?? Surely its time to let it go. I dont hold a grudge against them for eating Captain Cook.

FACT.. If you are aged between 18 - 60, white and hetrosexual then you are part of the most repressed social group in this country. Think about it.
Fat Uncle Mark
Slovenia - Wed Feb 13 16:03:20 2002
It's all a bit Robinsons Jam.
Soggster
UK - Wed Feb 13 14:52:49 2002
I prefer the term 'nig-nog' myself ;)
Gollywog
Sheffield - Wed Feb 13 10:24:46 2002
with reference to the nigger comment - the reason why they get upset when you call them nigger is because you aren't black - from black person to black person it is a reversal of a slavery term that is being used as a term of endearment/empowerment. coming from you it is a derogatary term that is used in the "yes massa" context
ndy
- Wed Feb 13 03:37:08 2002
you honkie bastards
whiteman
- Tue Feb 12 19:42:25 2002
Nigger is a bit of a strange word..
Where I used to work there was a few black guys,and all day they would call each other Nigger this and Nigger that and laugh about it. BUT, if I had dared to call one of them Nigger then I would of been sacked..

Double standards or what??
Fat Uncle Mark
- Tue Feb 12 10:06:28 2002
We find the previous post most distasteful as Mary Whitehouse is dead and should not be mocked. Unless that really was you Mary. Why do you never hang with us?
Aaliyah, George Harrison and Princess Margaret
Limbo - Tue Feb 12 01:30:59 2002
I find the language on this page quite offensive and there should be a stop to at once you bastards!
Mary Whitehouse
wales - Mon Feb 11 19:51:14 2002
Shag and whore more offensive than twat? And God is in there too. Who the cunt would find that offensive? And where was fisting? I'm getting into the fisting scene lately.
Crrrrrrrrrrraigo
- Mon Feb 11 19:27:28 2002
No "cock" in the bastard swearing Top 20. Wankers! Check this shit out, you motherfucking cunts:
http://media.guardian.co.uk/broadcast/table/0,7493,409833,00.html
Powerhouse
Wales - Mon Feb 11 18:05:48 2002
Craig, I agree 100% with that post on your main page about pop idol. I was working in a nightclub Sat night and they put the big screen on and everyone in the club was watching it, and cheered when the ugly one won. Fucking sad. The producers are making all that cash and the gullible people can never complain about manufactured bands again.
That coat hanger game was very cool. Better than jetPack IMO
Russ
UK - Mon Feb 11 10:06:49 2002
Who thinks of those games - too many drugs involved i think. Here's a link for all you boy racers its in spanish but its a scaletrix game and you can make your own track
http://www.tv4.se/lattjo/kojan/bilbanan.asp

that park game was is that about!
cardiffguy29
- Sun Feb 10 12:42:44 2002
anna! what an unexpected and plesent suprise, ohhh i've not phoned you for weeks. weeks i say. can we goto italy? or are you still attached to your new squeeze?
craig
- Sat Feb 9 21:26:28 2002
Craaaaaigo, stop being a proper business man & adventure with me
banana
- Sat Feb 9 20:10:43 2002
*sobs* My only claim to fame gone! Wonder if they will auction me off?
Margaret's wheelchair
Scrapheap - Sat Feb 9 15:58:38 2002
"Stop Mucking About"....Is that some sort of Dick Emery type reference. You'll be chasing me about in a Duncan Norvelle homage next.
Soggster
UK - Fri Feb 8 19:39:08 2002
Stop mucking about! There is no point to the Park game. I can say this with great authority because I have been playing with it for four days solid. And I MEAN solid.
Powerhouse
Wales - Fri Feb 8 16:55:19 2002
The park game was easy-peasy....

Just take the dwarf from out of the zebra, then on the third round of the park, pour the wheelbarrow of Skittles on him.

See....piss
Soggster
UK - Thu Feb 7 22:14:48 2002
But none of you were smart enough to work out the park game were you. ah ha.

- Thu Feb 7 14:36:24 2002
Ain't this internet thing brilliant? I spent all of last night trying to balance a snowman with a squid, and all of tonight discussing the resignation of the Welsh rugby coach.
No doubt tomorrow I'll get back to my regular persuit of looking for bisexual porn.
Powerhouse
Wales - Wed Feb 6 23:30:37 2002
ok worked it out. i'm a lamer.
crrr
- Wed Feb 6 19:42:38 2002
i want answers about the hat. i truied putting it on everything, it looks like it will go on the squids head but its not happening.
craig
- Wed Feb 6 17:46:56 2002
HEY HEY HEY

hey St00pid.
A.Cooper
- Wed Feb 6 14:29:38 2002
Me too!
longtimelurker
England - Wed Feb 6 13:19:17 2002
I do it again. I so great.
Powerhouse
Wales - Wed Feb 6 10:30:47 2002
I finished it last nite, but I don't really understand how. The giant head is the last item & the hat doesn't hang on a hangar! HEY! Work it out for yourself!
Powerhouse
Wales - Wed Feb 6 09:42:45 2002
Has anyone got past the giant head on the weights game, or figured out whats happening in the park game? (both linked on the main page)
craig
- Wed Feb 6 08:53:49 2002
Like a good little boy ;)
Lisa
- Tue Feb 5 15:49:52 2002
Stick it up your arse....
Lisa
- Tue Feb 5 15:43:01 2002
yes lisa, yes i do. and thats all your having.

now swallow like a good girl.
craig
- Tue Feb 5 15:36:18 2002
Why thank you Craig. Tea would be lovely. Do you have any disgusting peach flavoured drink aswell?


Lisa
- Tue Feb 5 15:16:41 2002
oohhh its lisa, shes popped in to see us! Look at the state of this place you bastards, get it tidied up.

More tea lisa?
craig
- Tue Feb 5 13:37:45 2002
Geordies? I didn't think we were called that because of King George.... I thought it was something to do with the Durham Light Infantry and the person who was in charge was called George or something. Then people in Newcastle stole the name.... Ummm, its a very vague memory about some big arguement about whether people from Durham were Geordies or Maccums. Any comments?
Lisa
- Tue Feb 5 11:05:14 2002
yeah, well sort of, my dad rents out his old flat and someone did that there to whoever lives in it now. bastard ratboy. i'm sure they could DNA it, but would would want to do that shit. (geddit readers? no.)
craigixxx
- Tue Feb 5 02:45:59 2002
Has anybody ever had a Rat-Boy burglary where they turd in your bed etc?
Soggster
UK - Mon Feb 4 20:10:36 2002
Lucky bastard!
anon
Wales - Mon Feb 4 16:55:06 2002
Does my tits look big in this?
http://web.1earth.net/~eddie/punish.jpg
Debbie does Rantback
USA - Mon Feb 4 16:51:56 2002
My mate stuck his cock through an insurance shop during the night on a Saturday night once and pissed all over their letters. It was bank holiday weekend and that office must of stank on the following tuesday. The reason was they tried to charge him a grand for insuring his car.
Russ - UK
- Mon Feb 4 12:02:01 2002
Bilge Fart Cook
god dam,n
- Mon Feb 4 00:16:36 2002
me
Big Fat Cock
- Mon Feb 4 00:15:12 2002
Insurance firms.... Utter utter tossers. Just got back from holiday where a mate broke his leg and had to get airlifted off a mountain and operated on etc etc. They first said we weren't insured, then completely failed to communicate how he was going to get home in traction, we basically had to do it ourselves, and the holiday reps were total shite. Is it standard policy for insurance firms to say that you're not covered and give you a load of hassle, even when you're in hospital trying to get home, and no-one speaks english.

First Choice.....Wank Choice.
Soggster
UK - Sun Feb 3 17:51:07 2002
i hate fucking pikeys.no i don't like DAGS.
turkish
- Sun Feb 3 03:23:49 2002
Yes Anne, Wales does rule. Unfortunately, while the rest of the UK gets a program about vibrators, we get a shitty Steven King film. :(
Powerhouse
Wales - Sun Feb 3 00:23:58 2002
Lucan you bastard, the coast is clear as you have been legally declaired dead. I wonder if that can be reversed.
craig
- Sat Feb 2 21:42:13 2002
Wales rules!
I've had enough of England.
Anne robinson
england - Sat Feb 2 18:38:16 2002
I WAS SET UP
ronnie briggs
dartmoor/england - Sat Feb 2 17:21:08 2002
is the coast clear
lord lucan
guess - Sat Feb 2 17:16:26 2002
Goodness gracious me!
Mr patel
Corner shop - Sat Feb 2 10:26:44 2002
You pedantic swine. I hope the Reptilians destroy you
David Icke
Bedlam - Sat Feb 2 01:02:43 2002
But you spelt toothed wrong
Religious Nut
UK - Sat Feb 2 01:01:37 2002
Thanks Dave. Turquoise rocks!
Religious Nut
UK - Sat Feb 2 01:00:28 2002
Fools! The Queen Mother is a powerful Reptilian alien who uses the yellow and brown tothed crumbly body as a shell. Once it is totally knackered she will just move on and nick someone else's body. It could be youuuuu! By the way, I would just like to take this opportunity to praise Religious Nut for his sound advice over the years here.
David Icke
Bedlam - Sat Feb 2 00:59:49 2002
Ooooh, scary letter sent by Nintendo: http://advanced.subport.org/
BattleM@n
UK - Fri Feb 1 20:43:58 2002
I heard the old dear is not to well either. I think this could be it.
She could linger on a few months for me. Put her on a drip or a life support. The watch her gasp her last breath a few seconds after midnight, 21st April
Russ
UK - Fri Feb 1 20:09:52 2002
I thought she was really ill at the moment anyway? Shes not been seen for weeks.
craig
- Fri Feb 1 15:58:58 2002
Now would just be the right time for the Queen Mother to contract a long, lingering type of pnumonia, just in time to pop her clogs neatly in July....come on you old bugger....come on....
green fairy dot com
- Fri Feb 1 12:15:04 2002
i wonder if Matt Smith will get any cash for the manic miner game. Mind you he'll probably jsut buy drugs with it.
mat
bristol - Fri Feb 1 12:15:03 2002
Well bugger you then.
mat
bristol - Fri Feb 1 12:10:36 2002
Please note: Only 2 school children allowed in this forum at any one time.
Mr. Patel
Corner shop - Fri Feb 1 04:59:18 2002
the flat caps are back you know, all the scummy kids wear them now. Up here anyway. And possibly everyone in yorkshire.
craig
- Fri Feb 1 04:27:54 2002
Fucking geordie cloth capped retards. You're just about scottish yourself eh craig.
... sorry, my heart's not in it. But it will be on Saturday March 23rd! ARROGANT FUCKERS.
Powerhouse
Wales - Fri Feb 1 01:35:35 2002
ok ok thats racist. now BITE BITE BITE
c
- Fri Feb 1 01:20:52 2002
we could start an england vs. wales argument if your in the mood? It will then extend to scotland and possible become rasist. What do you think, you welsh scum?
craig
- Fri Feb 1 01:20:02 2002
I have nothing remotely interesting to say.
Powerhouse
Wayuls - Fri Feb 1 00:50:08 2002
WHY THE FUCK DON'T THEY LIKE ME?!
http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?itemid=21863513&nc=35

GRAIL
- Fri Feb 1 00:36:54 2002
I think that you are gay!
Patrick Moore
Gamesmaster - Thu Jan 31 12:44:38 2002
All web pages from 1996 are available from web.archive.org . Some in my office say this is pointless, i think it's ace! What do YOU think?
mat
bristol - Thu Jan 31 12:33:22 2002
Craig.
Did you know that the TV Advance fire scenario is clearly detailed in the TV Advance manual. I think that it's a feature or something.
Note that you are NOT supposed to put out the fire with a glass of water.

http://www.angelfire.com/darkside/hive/tvafire.jpg
Jamie Theakston
BDSM Dungeon - Wed Jan 30 10:04:40 2002
I'd just like to say I've read yr page for a while since I got my GBA stuff from ya and normally you talk sense.

HOWEVER, in the case of Memento u are wrong wrong WRONG!!!
That film was such a welcome breeze of originality and the bloke who made it came from my uni apparently. But my uni sucks so who cares.
Kiran
- Wed Jan 30 04:36:13 2002
Craig: Are you a spice girls fan by any chance...?
Robbie
Stoke - Wed Jan 30 01:06:58 2002
I TOTALLY agree with that Fibregel advert. It's like suddenly everyone wants to be constipated. I'd keep that fucking drink locked away and only drink it in the dark.... you know... if I was constipated....... which I'm not....... I've never tried it before.... fuck you.
GRAIL
- Tue Jan 29 11:50:35 2002
Such weather is what you must expect if you live in the middle of nowhere.

Here in London all we had was a slight breeze.


green fairy dot com
- Tue Jan 29 11:13:00 2002
Fucking Post Office, *cough* igsignia is stopping morning post??? Did I read that right????
At least you won't get no bills 1st thing in the morning.


Wet-Jet Silly
Swimming pool, on the rope. - Mon Jan 28 23:42:57 2002
LOL! But seriously, it's ads like the Nivea for men aftershave that really annoy me...
BattleM@n
UK - Mon Jan 28 16:16:17 2002
Craig.
I hate that fucking black bloke on the swan too.
But I REALLY hate that fucking Fibregel advert. The final "Whahey, just call us the Fibregel family" really pains me everytime I see it.
Anyone else get an aversion to this ad? Or is it just me?
Jon Pertwee
Galifrey - Mon Jan 28 10:42:21 2002
Ground breaking in the same sence as 'Dude, wheres my car?' maybe.
craig
- Mon Jan 28 05:13:46 2002
Meeeeooowww!!! Saucer of milk table 2! Craig, whilst the film is hardly deserving of the top 10 ever, Memento was one of the best thrillers of the year 2000. OK, film students like me understand why everyone raved about it (narrative genre etc, attacking the traditional use of colour and black & white within thrillers - flashbacks are usually b&w, whereas they are the start of the film memento - so it is a reversed reversal, etc). I understand your distaste for the plot (my sister didn't like it much) but it is groundbreaking - honest! A Lot like Citizen Kane was really
BattleM@n
UK - Sun Jan 27 16:57:57 2002
You don't half like your brass eye don't you.

Or DO you.

I just woke up, that is messing with my head.
craig
- Sun Jan 27 16:21:05 2002
"Greenfairy is your page supposed to have turned all impossible to read white?"

That sounds like a statement from Brass Eye.

Can you not see any words at all? I suggest judicial use of your contrast button.
green fairy dot com
- Sun Jan 27 13:28:18 2002
Good Moaning.
I was just pissing by. I have rod all of the massages. I loaf you ill.

Officer Crabtree
Cafe Rene - Sun Jan 27 09:55:37 2002
People may be fucking off out of Newcastle when they get famous, but Liverpool must be the worst for that. Any scouser with any sense (not many then) gets out as soon as they can. Doesn't stop them being cunts though... Scousers - can't live with them, and if you kill them you get sent to prison. Twats.
Cilla Black
God's Cuntry (Lverpool) - Sat Jan 26 00:32:02 2002
ant and dick more like, they loved newcastle so much they buggered off. Just like sting, jimmy nail and um... gazza probably.
craig
- Fri Jan 25 15:44:14 2002
Mmmmm... Licking...(drool)...
Dec (of Ant and Dec fame)
UK - Fri Jan 25 15:28:33 2002
Why do your own farts, no matter how vile, smell nice to yourself... But anyones elses smell disgusting...

Craig. Licking.
Fat Uncle Mark
Jolly old england - Fri Jan 25 09:55:49 2002
Lisa, could you clarify which hair? Armpit? Big toe knuckle? Down there...? Nasal? Palm?
Soggster
UK - Thu Jan 24 20:53:17 2002
Are you talking to Mark or Lisa?
Powerhouse
Wales - Thu Jan 24 15:09:06 2002
Did you say kicking or licking?
craig
- Thu Jan 24 14:56:17 2002
I don't like men 'spitting' on my face, but I will get extrememly angry if they get anything in my hair! It gets me really mad, to the point of kicking them in the bollocks.
Lisa
The South - Thu Jan 24 11:28:08 2002
Mmmmm. Spunk...(drool)...
Ant (of Ant and Dec fame)
UK - Thu Jan 24 10:52:59 2002
You are all lightweights!!! Kissing your girl after she has blown you, thats for pussies.. Now licking your spunk off her after you have shot all over her.. Now thats what seperates the men from the boys... drives her wild as well...
Fat Uncle Mark
Jolly old england. - Thu Jan 24 09:36:19 2002
The only black pudding i eat is my own. You animal scab eating savages.

and yeah, give her a kiss, considering shes probably about to sit on what shes been sucking.

Bingo readers.
craig
- Wed Jan 23 20:45:59 2002
Spitting in yer face during sex....WTF. Have I led a sheltered life or something?
Soggster
UK - Wed Jan 23 18:52:59 2002
You give her a kiss, what sort of question is that? So if you went down on her and came up looking like a glazed donut looking for a kiss you'd want one wouldn't you.


Soggster
UK - Wed Jan 23 18:51:16 2002
I would be asleep by the time she rose up to kiss me.
tree crocodile
boro - Wed Jan 23 16:50:38 2002
OK guys. tell the truth. What do you do when a girls sucked your cock and leans over to kiss you...?
Confused...
...as a newt - Wed Jan 23 16:28:54 2002
I eat my boogey's and not ashamed to amit it! Mmmmm. People who eat ear wax now that's sick!
Jacqui
UK - Wed Jan 23 12:29:59 2002
Hey, fucker! That's not funny - my mum has cancer!!!
Joseph
Scarborough - UK - Wed Jan 23 09:38:46 2002
Try to wipe your arse with the wrong hand. Very strange.
craig
- Wed Jan 23 03:11:52 2002
When intensely engaged in dirty (preferably anal) sex - Yes.
You?
Powerhouse
Wales - Wed Jan 23 00:56:24 2002
what about women spiiting in your face or mouth during sex?
craig
- Wed Jan 23 00:45:27 2002
... very often.
Powerhouse
Wales - Wed Jan 23 00:40:44 2002
.. if it was one of my own, of course. I don't go in for second hand bogey eating.
Powerhouse
Wales - Wed Jan 23 00:38:28 2002
Are you mad??! I could have chewed on that thing for at least half an hour.
Powerhouse
Wales - Wed Jan 23 00:36:54 2002
Picked my nose today and pulled out a bogey of such magnitude that I could feel it slithering up past the back of my throat as it was extracted. I was then in a predicament as I had no hanky. So I wiped it on the bottom of my shoe.

I was way too big for a roll and flick manouver.
Soggster
UK - Wed Jan 23 00:16:47 2002
the base on cuba was first established when the americans helped to kick the spaniards out during some kind of cuban war of independance at the turn of the century. As you rightly say they can stay as long as they like. The US pays I think 200 gold coins "rent" for the base each year which in real terms is just over $4000, the cheque though is made out to a departement which no longer exists and it is rumoured that fidel castro collects them and saves them in his desk. Imperialistic dogs!
kevin
uk - Mon Jan 21 23:41:13 2002
LOL! Ok, here's another for ya! A duck walks into a bar. He says to the barman "Got any grapes?". The barman says, "Sorry mate, we don't sell grapes here". The next day the duck comes back. He says to the barman "Got any grapes?". The barman says, "Really mate, we don't sell grapes here". This continues for several days until one day the barman's had enough. "Got any grapes?", asks the duck. The barman says, "Look here duck - I've told you time & time again - we don't sell the bloody things and if you come in here again asking for grapes I'll nail your fucking beak shut!!!". Sure enough, the next day the duck walks into the bar. He says to the barman, "Got any nails?". "No" replies the barman. "In that case," says the duck, "got any grapes?"
BattleM@n
UK - Mon Jan 21 18:49:40 2002
two dwarfs are both about to hit 40 and are both virgins, dwarf#1 says to dwarf#2 "we've got to get laid b4 were 40, lets get a prostitute each" "ok" dwarf#2 says, so they go to a brothel and get a room each. in dwarf#1's room he is struggling to get an erection, the whore giving him handjobs, blowjobs, he is even masturbating himself but to no avail, he is hping that dwarf#2 is having the same problem so he listens up against the wall, and all he can hear is "ONE, TWO, THREE HUURRGH, ONE TWO THREE HURRGGH" dwarf#1 thinks to himself "oh no he is going great and i can't even get it up, he tries even harder, but it just wont happen, so he storms out just as dwarf#2 leaves his room, dwarf#2 asks dwarf#1 how he got on "it was fuckin embarrassing i couldn't even get it up, i heard you in there going at it, you bastard" dwarf#2 says - "fuck off i could'nt even get on the bed"


NOT Lenny Henry
- Mon Jan 21 02:56:30 2002
I thought the U.S naval base in Cuba thing was a bit odd too, so I looked it up.

U.S. Naval Base Guantanamo Bay is on land leased by the U.S. from Cuba in a contract from 1903. The contract can only be terminated if both sides consent, so the Cubans want the Yanks out, but they wont openly attack the Yanks as that would be suicide, and the Yanks stay as it is a strategic spot. There are no diplomatic relations directly between U.S. and Cuba so they just glare at each other through the fence.

As my Gran used to say, "There's nowt as queer as international politics."
Soggster
UK - Sun Jan 20 17:06:26 2002
I can't get excited by tennis. Any sport which has Cliff Richard as one of its ambassadors is by definition 'A bit poncey' The only element of danger is choking on a paper cup of incorrectly chilled barley water, or having to tell your mum you've got grass stains in your shorts again. It's a bit like Formula 1 in that the technology and power have had a negative effect on the enjoyment of the sport. Formula 1, nobody can overtake, Tennis, nobody can return a serve most of the time.

I say return to the days of deer antler rackets and balls made from goats scrotums. Oh and normal people stopped wearing those little white shorts in 1974, they're not fooling anyone with their legs appart arse wiggling.
Soggster
UK - Sun Jan 20 10:51:21 2002
Come On Timmy!

And Come On Everybody!!!

He's 5 -1 down, but like everybody, he can make things happen.

Let's make this whole World a better place. Good Night
Power house
Wales, but love see no colour - Sun Jan 20 02:07:34 2002
Helllo! Everybody!!!

Steven Redgrave is the no. 1 sports personality of ever, and I agree!!!

I hope you all have a good go at this life as Mr. Redgrave has, in order to have the memories you all deserve.

Don't go creating life until you are sure exactly what you are doing and what a resposibility that is.

Give love to everybody please!!

Thank You!!!!
Love from Ian
Powerhouse
Wales - Sun Jan 20 01:30:27 2002
...or the movie, Repoman, and it's BBC1ed bastardisation - "Flip you metal farmer"??? WTF?
Another movie totally wrecked by the beeb
UK - Sat Jan 19 12:19:46 2002
argh there is nothing happening.
craig
- Sat Jan 19 00:30:41 2002
Just been reading previous posts about ridiculous dubbing and cutting on films, and the splendid Robocop incident. Didn't that have the glorious line of

'Suck my cake, mother funster'

Genius.
Soggster
UK - Thu Jan 17 20:50:05 2002
Well, looks like its suicide again for me.
Moe
Springfield - Thu Jan 17 15:34:07 2002
Especially suicide.
green fairy dot com
- Thu Jan 17 14:09:23 2002
That was one hell of a warped premonition Craig.

http://www.cnn.com/2002/SHOWBIZ/TV/01/17/xfiles.reut/index.html

You have real talent.
HootsLad
UK - Thu Jan 17 14:07:47 2002
What would be wrong with Rik Mayall, being part of the show - he's ace!!! Bottom is a class series (except the 3rd series, it started going downhill there). Still have to watch it though.

and there's nothing deviant about enjoying treading on bubble wrap, don't knock it 'till you've tried it. And i say you should try everything at least once. Apart from suicide.
mat
bristol - Thu Jan 17 12:22:29 2002
DAD?
Rik Mayall
- Thu Jan 17 02:26:19 2002
This show has never been the same since Lisa left, i think its totally jumped the shark, I mean classic regulars like Religious nut and The fonz are long gone and its just going down hill, how long can it be before the network axes it? Its only a matter of time. It won't be long before a long lost 'son' appears or Rick Mayal guest stars.
craig
- Thu Jan 17 02:18:25 2002
Is Kay Hammond the secret love child of Patrick Moore?
Soggster
UK - Wed Jan 16 19:24:20 2002
Good call kittensy!
Fat Uncle Mark
- Wed Jan 16 10:39:41 2002
REALLY SORRY BUT JUST LOOKIN AT THE PAGE AND I NOTICED HALF OF IT WAS FULL OF INFO ON CRISPS RIGHT? SO DOES ANYONE REMEMBER THOSE CRISPS BY WALKERS WITH THE PRINT OF A LOONEY TUNE CHARACTER ON THE FRONT? THEY WERE BROUGHT OUT AT ABOUT THE SAME TIME AS THOSE CHOCOLATE CRISPS MADE BY WALKERS (HORRIBLE THINGS THEY WERE)
kittensy
England - Tue Jan 15 21:37:06 2002
Hat humour excellent. Can anyone translate it?
Soggster
UK - Tue Jan 15 11:54:54 2002
that was brilliannt!
craig
- Tue Jan 15 03:27:51 2002
this might amuse some of you http://user.tninet.se/~prv247p/hatt/hatten.swf
very wierd!
cardiffguy29
wales - Tue Jan 15 00:44:21 2002
On the BNP.org.uk website they have footage of the council taking down union flags / st george flags because they think they might offend the minorities. Pretty shocking. Rather sad it had to be on the BNP page, it should have been on the 6 oclock news! Does the monster raving loony party have a webpage? I want to see their leader, who is apparently a cat.
craig
- Mon Jan 14 22:07:05 2002
Norton your nelly.
Soggster
UK - Mon Jan 14 20:49:13 2002
Soggster - Fancy a shag?
Graham Norton
Ireland - Mon Jan 14 20:45:51 2002
How come if we fly the Union flag we're seen as racist, it makes no sense. I have more problems with this than most because I'm a 6ft 15 stone (all muscle....ha) skinhead, because I went bald when i was 18 and didn't fancy a combover. So people automatically think I'm some sort of skinhead nutter, and I think the BNP and all there associated fellows are a bunch of misguided dimwits in polite terms. If I was to fly the Union flag at my house people would think I was some Nazi fuckwit. What's that all about. I'm English, I like England, I like people, whatever wrapper they come in. It seems to be a crime to be proud to be English, if you are, you're either a BNP NAZI or a footy hooligan in the eyes of the throng, and the throng wear the spectacles provided by the media.

I have a union flag sticker on my racing car, where it seems to be acceptable, but if I put one on my van, some tosser would set fire to the fucking thing.

Surely that's not right is it?

Phew....Rant-o-rama
Soggster
UK - Mon Jan 14 20:18:13 2002
How come i'm suddenly batting from the pavilion end? Not that I've anything against yer Homosexuals, some of my best friends have met them.
Soggster
UK - Mon Jan 14 20:00:03 2002
Prince Harry.. Top Bloke.. Nuff said..
Fat Uncle Mark
England - Mon Jan 14 17:05:29 2002
Ack, that actualy shocked me!
green fairy dot com
- Sun Jan 13 17:16:37 2002
Like i wrote that, i just stole it from wherever i saw the story. I fly the english flag or whatever. Fight for the english people! no wait... I think thats the BNP motto. oops. No no... that would be british.
craig
- Sun Jan 13 15:41:48 2002
I like american phrases as much as the next man, but the fall.

I think thats uncalled for.

kevin
uk - Sun Jan 13 11:28:41 2002
Wah wah wah. Blah blah blah.
Tangy Cunt
- Sun Jan 13 11:01:51 2002
Soggster, scroll down and have a look at Fat Uncle Mark's post about "bum love". He's right you know!
Powerhouse
Wales - Sun Jan 13 04:15:03 2002
Please could you have a quick go at this quiz what I wrote? Probably best when you're feeling (extremely) bored. Ta.
www.hwre.co.uk/qorq/
Powerhouse
Pontyspam - Sun Jan 13 04:11:10 2002
your an arse.

boom boom
craig
- Sun Jan 13 01:51:39 2002
Whoa! There's no way I'm being 'The Bottom'
Soggster
UK - Sat Jan 12 18:20:09 2002
Fuck him up the arse.
It could be the beginning of a wondrous sexual adventure.
Powerhouse
Wales - Sat Jan 12 16:58:48 2002
Dear rantbackers - I have a problem I wish to share.

This afternoon, a friend came to visit, who in order to protect his identity we shall call Andy 'Soggster' Stokes of Scawby North Lincs, National Insurance Number NX105538C Tel 01652 323434.

Feeling the need for cheering up, we decided to partake of a video from my modist collection, and decided upon the classic 'SCUM'.

Anyhow, we watched and enjoyed, until the disturbing and infamous 'potting shed' scene, where the unfortunate '4738 Davis' is given an unwanted lesson in 'uphill gardening' by no less than 3 other inmates. It was at this juncture, Soggster became rather agitated, fiddling with his 'trouser area'
and frankly, he seemed to be becoming 'aroused' - moments later, a look of peace came over his countenance, and all seemed well again, until I noticed a large wet patch appearing upon the groin area of his trousers.

Of course, I am very worried about this Barrymore-esq behaviour and I am worried he may want to 'cross swords' with me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Juan Kerr
Guam - Sat Jan 12 16:34:53 2002
In response to all recent postings....yes the Buffy episode was shite. They ought to do a Henchmen/Vamp death spoof like in Austin Powers. You're right in that some of the critters Buffy has wasted could have been someones mother too. 2 faced beeeatch.

I do have pictures of Willow in my newly created 'Lonely man masturbatorium'

As for the story of Juan Kerrs about the cat bummer, the story goes further. Juan and I were in our local pub on new years eve, and Juan never one for moderation was absolutely smashed, and who should walk into the lounge bar area but Mr Craig Ridgley himself. Juan leaps up and careers over and thows his arms around Crags and says in a voice of 124 decibels "Alright Craig.....Hows yer cat". Now that was funny.
Soggster
Uk - Fri Jan 11 21:39:24 2002
The front page of the local paper here in newcastle once had 'man arrested for sex with dog' (or something similar) on the cover, he had been observed by police doing this in the park. And i'm afraid channel 4 have already done a program on beastality about a year and a half ago, your just copying other peoples ideas and adding an element of another show carol, in this case survivour. As always.

Like Big fat brother, where they get thin as an extra element.

Or the weakest cock etc.
craig
- Fri Jan 11 20:39:58 2002
Somebody known to me and Soggster actually had to make a court appearance due to being caught in a compromising position in his shed with 'Mr Tiddles' - his next door neighbours cat.

I think he claimed that the reason for performing 'The Wellytop' on the unfortunate feline was because it was 'Suffering from constipation M'lud'.....

Soggster will perhaps enlighten us more, as he was close friends with the perpitrator, who in order to protect his identity we shall call 'Craig Ridgley' of 3 Holme Lane Messingham Tel 01724 697998.
Juan Kerr
Easter Island - Fri Jan 11 20:14:09 2002
Speaking as an eastender, yes, I do say 'poxy'.
green fairy dot com
- Fri Jan 11 16:36:12 2002
Oh, sorry! I was talking about Craig and Mat. You've got to admit, that's not normal behaviour.
Powerhouse
Wales - Fri Jan 11 16:13:59 2002
Hmm. Yes, I know that deviants have, but I'm wondering who *specifically* has bummed their dog or cat?
We're thinking of doing a program about it (probably on Channel 4).
We'll get two top designers (probably Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen, and that other fag Graham Wynne), and get them to pair up with the public at large. Then we challenge them screw the opposing teams pet, until it either a) dies or b) is fatally damaged.
If anyone here is interested in taking part, contact me, Carol Smiley, at "Shagging Pets", c/o Channel 4 TV. Thanks.
Carol Smiley
UK - Fri Jan 11 16:06:34 2002
Deviants
Powerhouse
Wales - Fri Jan 11 15:53:08 2002
Who here has bummed their dog or cat?
Carol Smiley
UK - Fri Jan 11 15:52:15 2002
I like to take it into the bath.
craig
- Fri Jan 11 15:20:37 2002
Since when have I lived in the USA!!! Hmmm seems interesting you like to stand on it! Bit like a Jim Carrey moment in pet detective! I find it more satisfying with my hands!
Jacqui
UK - Fri Jan 11 13:53:26 2002
Treading on bubble wrap is the best
mat
bristol - Fri Jan 11 12:09:38 2002
I used to love bubble wrap grew out of it though!
Jacqui
USA - Fri Jan 11 00:24:44 2002
lisa i sent you bubble wrap to pop, it was the biggest bubbles i've seen. *micheal jackson joke here*
craig
- Thu Jan 10 23:49:13 2002
I love Nick Carter.
phlegm
USA - Thu Jan 10 21:19:10 2002
Sogg, Is 'Willow' your regular masturbatory fantasy?
Johnsy
Iran - Thu Jan 10 19:50:45 2002
Why were they so bothered about another death? they could just bring her back to life, and buffys one to talk - she kills people on such a regular basis.

Soggster, i think you are putting your grief about your home situation into buffy. Not INTO buffy, shes half your age.

And it was a shit episode, so boring, i wanted spike to come in and take the piss.
craig
- Thu Jan 10 19:46:56 2002
Just finished watching the Joyce death episode of Buffy on BBC2. Was the acting good or hammy, I can't decide. The bit where Anya did her 'what's going on' speech gave me a lump in my throat though.

They're just about to start season 6 on Sky one, and I've not seen the end of 5 yet as I only got sky for crimbo. What am i to do....arse!
Soggster
UK - Thu Jan 10 19:41:20 2002
I like your site Craigy.
cecchi
uk - Thu Jan 10 16:34:57 2002
Sorry I didn't say goodbye. Goodbye.

But I'll still pop into visit sometimes....

Craig, why did u send me a parcel of bubblewrap?
Lisa
- Thu Jan 10 13:37:15 2002
whats the difference between a sky diver and a muff diver it the view lol

mr__thrill
england - Thu Jan 10 11:17:20 2002
Heres one for you lot.

Mick was in court for a double murder and the judge said, "You are
charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You b*stard!"
The judge continued, "You are also charged with beating your daughter>
to death with a hammer."
Again, the voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, "You ****ing b*stard!!!"
The judge stopped, looked at the man in the back of the courtroom,
and said, "Paddy, I can understand your anger and frustration at this
crime, but I will not have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall
charge you with contempt! Now what is the problem?"
Paddy, at the back of the court stood up and responded, "For fifteen
years I lived next door to that b*stard. And every time I asked to
borrow a ***ing hammer, he said he didn't have one!"

craig
- Thu Jan 10 02:13:00 2002
oo-er! I've got to go and have 4 fillings done tommorrow at 9.40am!
BattleM@n
UK - Wed Jan 9 16:24:35 2002
I got all 4 of my wisdom teeth and it fucking hurt ! Went to hospital to get it done. Was told that I would receive 2 injections, the 1st one was meant to be a painkiller and the 2nd one was the one that was meant to put me out.

The nurse was full of shit as I was out after the first one. Woke up and felt as though I had been out on the piss but without the fun. Could walk let alone see and was taken to my bed and made to rest for another 5 hours. Wanted to go home but they wouldn't let me go home until a family member came in for me. Mouth was dry and lips chapped with lots of dried blood. Felt like shit, looked even worse and talked like Peter Beardsley. After a few days the swelling got worse and started to look like Peter Beardsley. Took a good week for it calm down.

I got the doctor to keep the teeth for me so I could take them home - f*ck me have you seen the size of wisdom teeth ?! Decided to throw 'em out as they started to look a bit manky after a few days !
Phil
Newcastle - Wed Jan 9 00:53:13 2002
Howay man! Ah divvent dee tha dentistry lark ne more.
Mind yee, if yee listen te me canny music long enough, yer teeth will faall oot anyways, man.
Sting
In Trudy - Wed Jan 9 00:40:40 2002
have you tried tieing (tying) hmm... anyway... sting round it and slamming the door - it could pull the tooth out, or rip the side of your face clean off your head...
craig
- Tue Jan 8 23:18:52 2002
But what if you're left handed? And my tooth still hurts like fuck.
plant
uk - Tue Jan 8 20:53:33 2002
That site is pretty funny, and it's SO obvious all those posts from people all over the world were written by the same person. The part about the guy swallowing his cum to make his chest hair grow thicker was surreal. All I know is if you do it with your left hand, it feels like someone else is doing it.
Russ
UK - Tue Jan 8 12:50:46 2002
Ejaculation of semen during sleep. It is usually accompanied by erotic dreams and is most prevalent during the teen years — though males who masturbate regularly may experience it rarely or not at all.

This explains my lack of wet dreams!

- Tue Jan 8 01:29:45 2002
I've got my bottom two widom teeth coming through, but they aren't causing me any pain! Mind you my teeth are good never had so much as a filling! I can remember when I was young having to have teeth out! I had gas and I could feel the pain and I had horrible psychodelic dreams. It makes me shudder thinking about it now! If you need an op I'd recommeng injection to be put under!
JACQUI
UK - Mon Jan 7 23:19:51 2002
One of my wisdom teeth is hopelessly out of place but i've never got any pain from it, so fingers crossed its happy where it is. If you are having 4 out you will probably go in for a proper operation at the dental hospital where they give you the gas (or however you choose) to knock you out then a load of student dentists have a good play around with your mouth (I heard they spit in your mouth too). Then when you wake up the gas makes you feel all weird and dizzy for ages as well as your mouth being full of blood and dead skin. Ahhh memories. You will have a great time.
craig
- Mon Jan 7 17:32:43 2002
Depends on how many are coming out and whether it's necessary to get knocked out for it. I'm hard, so I had two taken out under local and was only off work for two days.
green fairy dot com
- Mon Jan 7 12:37:11 2002
Just to say thanks for the GBA Flash Cart - it's cool, i have been playing spectrum games all the time and have got through more batteries in 4 days than i have in the previous 4 months since i got the thing!!

and the Trueman Show IS an excellent film!
mat
bristol - Mon Jan 7 12:08:30 2002
If anyone wants to laugh at someone in extreme pain, my wisdom teeth are fucking my mouth up really bad. Has anyone here had theirs yanked out at all? How bad an operation is it? Or more importantly, how long will it get me off work?
plant
uk - Mon Jan 7 04:46:28 2002
www.sexoogle.com it dude
craig
- Mon Jan 7 02:38:06 2002
i want to see free sex video clip with out ussing my keypword
sexy man
are - Sun Jan 6 22:35:27 2002
Ahhh the secret pleasure of the ladyboy. Powerhouse, you should have put one on your christmas list....As the stupid joke goes.

I got my wife a TV for christmas.
Did she like it?
No it keep wearing all her clothes.

Ta-Daaaaaaaa......
Soggster
UK - Sun Jan 6 09:49:01 2002
O H M Y G O D what;s the world coming to????

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,42286,00.html
GRAIL
- Sun Jan 6 01:41:14 2002
gail you never fail to consistantly dissapoint. Like the time you said you had learned to fly. I knew it was lies.
craig
- Sun Jan 6 01:37:36 2002
huh?? why am I the best person to ask?!!
GRAIL
- Sun Jan 6 01:34:00 2002
only if your looking for it. dude.
craig
- Sun Jan 6 01:28:07 2002
Nice one Soggs.
There's a lot more bisexual porn around these days ain't there?
Powerhouse
Wales - Sun Jan 6 00:19:16 2002
Fuck it....The car stays.
Soggster
UK - Sat Jan 5 17:29:05 2002
You have a racing car? wow. I bet your car loves you more. You can go wild after she leaves, buy something outragious like a 8.2 liter cadillac... no hang on... thats ME.

But yeah, thats normal women behaviour, hey she lasted more than 7 years, the scientificly proven leaving time, so count yourself lucky. you did say 7 years didn't you?

In fact maybe YOU should leave HER, she won't be expecting that one. ahahha.

Gail is the best person to tell you how to deal with this.
craig
- Sat Jan 5 16:39:09 2002
Does this girl know that you're a Rantbacker? (mine doesn't! heehee!) Give her an hour reading over this page and she'll never leave you, knowing you hang out with such cool people. (like me I mean!)
Powerhouse
Wales - Sat Jan 5 00:51:55 2002
Is this the wierdest situation or what? She's leaving, we still live together and everything is pretty much as before, we still have a laugh, pay bills, do washing, watch TV, go out etc. We're still good mates, but when she finds a job she's off. Is it wierd???? Is this normal????

I also have a dilema in that if I keep the house I must sell my racing car to help pay for it, or I move into a smaller house and keep the car?

Hmmmmm.
Soggster
UK - Sat Jan 5 00:33:12 2002
Soggster is out on the town, getting pissed up with the lads. Later he will be enjoying drunken sex with some floozy, cocking a snook to his no-good, ungrateful bitch of an ex.
I hope so anyway...
Powerhouse
Wales - Fri Jan 4 23:57:25 2002
soggster were waiting for the gossip from you

- Fri Jan 4 18:34:52 2002
I like going against the omens, i think if you go against enough it brings you good luck. Thats why i've had xmas decorations in my room for 2 years. Oh no... wait... its just because i'm lazy.
craig
- Fri Jan 4 17:24:34 2002
I didn't make up the rules did I!! I got told them by my mum!!!
JACQUI
UK - Fri Jan 4 16:30:39 2002
But how is it bad luck to have overdue Christmas decorations? What kind of twisted spook squad exists solely to monitor the situation nationwide and bestow the bad luck? And by what criteria do they judge what kind and how much? Actually, it sounds fun... how do I join?
Religious Nut
UK - Fri Jan 4 13:41:59 2002
helo i amt peety agin i am lukin for a sexy gril frend for the nue yer hoo heer wil be my gril frend i amt had a weelchaer an am speshul hat for crismas am me amt had sum speshul ruber pants wot my dad liks very mush so pleez cal peety to be my gril frend tank you very mush peety
peety
leeds - Fri Jan 4 12:38:57 2002
there's still 2 days to go. Why do it now, when you can put it off til tomorrow?
GRAIL
- Fri Jan 4 01:36:00 2002
It's bad luck to have xmas decorations up after the 12th day of xmas which is the 6th of January. So best take them off your page craig!
JACQUI
UK - Thu Jan 3 22:50:51 2002
Thats women for you. You can get the porn channels now. Why is she leaving?
craig
- Thu Jan 3 22:39:59 2002
My parnter of 8 years gets me sky digital for christmas, and then tells me she's leaving. WTF? It was installed in the house today, now I've got to sell the house. WTF? Does anybody want to buy a 125k house in lincolnshire?
HAPPY NEW YEAR......Arse.
Ps this is for real.
soggster
uk - Thu Jan 3 22:12:57 2002
Nah green, your posts made the place looked lived in. Maybe i could write a script to post false computer generated posts now and agai.
craig
- Thu Jan 3 17:37:44 2002
And enough with multiple postings, too!
green fairy dot com
- Thu Jan 3 16:11:48 2002
scrooge> Enough with the Christmas decorations in here! /scrooge>
green fairy dot com
- Thu Jan 3 16:11:12 2002
scrooge> Enough with the Chritsmas decorations in here! /scrooge>
green fairy dot com
- Thu Jan 3 16:11:03 2002
scrooge>Enough with the Chritsmas decorations in here! /scrooge>
green fairy dot com
- Thu Jan 3 16:10:52 2002
awww man, this place is SO neglected lately
craig
- Thu Jan 3 03:10:33 2002
Happy new year everyone. Fucking knackered. Worked in a nightlcub tonight. Dancing behind the bar for 6 hours, singing and shouting. Gonna have a shower, have some tomato soup and crumpets, put my slippers on and watch a video.
Russ
UK - Tue Jan 1 04:35:27 2002
But is Stellios still shagging Dannii? We need to know. And why am I still up... it's quarter to five in the morning. I need to get a life.
plant
uk - Mon Dec 31 04:47:45 2001
Lisa left for reading and her new life today and she totally didn't say bye to us all. The ego of it. You too good for us now lisa? hu hu? HUUU? While i'm there and on an unrelated note its cheaper to fly to london than get the train, can you believe that? Well yes because its true. Bloody trains. Maybe Stellios the 'I'll ban craigs pages from my cyber cafes' bastard is good after all... HANG ON he does not run GOairlines. Stellios you are STILL a bastard in my book because while your cafes have gone bust you still don't fly from Newcastle.
craig
- Mon Dec 31 03:53:23 2001
The Truman Show made me cry tonight - I didn't half feel sorry for him. How sad is that?! I know it's a film with a brilliant premise, but it's not that good a film is it? Perhaps it's my post-Christmas malaise.

My motherboard blew up on boxing day, so on Thursday I went in to Cardiff to the street with all the computer shops in it in order to buy a new one. They try to consistently undercut each other, so you can always get a few bargains. Well, they were all shut until January 2nd, and I was furious for a while.
Then I remembered how shit it is working in the Christmas holidays. Respect to the Cardiff computer shop guys for giving their staff a full Christmas holiday! The rest of the city center was absolutely chocka-block.

Enjoy yourselves tonight boys & girls. Take care, and thanks for reading this bollocks.
Powerhouse
Wales - Mon Dec 31 00:14:44 2001
Hey Sven - Jimmy crack whore, and I don't care.

I'm sorry, that was probably my worst joke yet.
boki
- Sun Dec 30 00:47:17 2001
I mean 'He's'
GRAIL
- Sat Dec 29 11:07:56 2001
but you know what IS good.... Ready Steady Cook.
I was watching it the other day when one of the cooks burned something by accident, and Ainsley turned to the female guest and says "do you like it black?" I laughed soooooooo much, no one else in the house did... I don't think they got it..... it's a funny guy. I like that Ainsley.
GRAIL
- Sat Dec 29 11:07:16 2001
How can they have upper classes on it anyway. They would have to change the name to Who Wants To Still Be A Millionaire But Slightly Richer or something. Anyway, love of money is the root of all evil. As the Pope will testify in his palace in his own special city surrounded by gold and priceless works of art.
Religious Nut
UK - Sat Dec 29 00:30:55 2001
THey may favor the upper classes but they can't make them cleverer! If they get it wrong it's not as if they can go "oh it's ok we'll carry on anyway is it!!!"
Jacqui
UK - Fri Dec 28 15:00:12 2001
Oh, that is pathetic. I thought millionaire favoured the upper classes?
Lisa
- Fri Dec 28 00:23:57 2001
they won £1000
craig
- Thu Dec 27 22:35:28 2001
No, £4000 actuallly
Lisa
- Thu Dec 27 22:21:26 2001
didn't they win £1 million.....
Mrs Hamilton
- Thu Dec 27 22:20:54 2001
Merry Christmas...erm....hang on, what day is it? The Hamiltons won a piss poor £1000! What's the worst piece of Spam you've ever received?
BattleM@n
UK - Thu Dec 27 17:42:57 2001
Sometimes, when I am by myself. I like to take a cheese grater and a block of parmesian cheese, turn the lights down low, put on a Barry Manilow CD anmd slowly grate the cheese. I don't know if it's wrong that I get turned on by this, but it is so much fun. If I am really into it, I even buy some pickles and eat them real slow.
Crack whore, Crack whore. Let me in.
Crack whore, Crack whore. I know your sin.
JIMMY JIMMY. I love you.
JIMMY JIMMY. Why so blue?

Sven.

happy christmas and a merrry new yeAr/
Sven the Weak Wristed
Greater Wisconsin - Thu Dec 27 07:04:23 2001
How much did the Hamilton's win then??
Russ
UK - Thu Dec 27 03:28:58 2001
YEAH!!! I saw Millionnaire too..... FUCKING FUNNY! she kept saying shit like "we've had so much stress lately, we don't need this too" what a bitch. "We've let the kids downnnnn" then chris is like "A big hand for the Hamiltons, didn't they do well?" Maybe they should have applied some of their knowledge aquired from getting away with rape... or perhaps dip into their own savings for the poor kids. Fucking Idiots. Everyone knows it was fucking Red Red Wine.
GRAIL
- Thu Dec 27 01:44:19 2001
Yes, Only Fools And Horses was dire. But it was so bad it was almost good. And nice to see it even in this warped and terminal form at least in a quirky way. But it always was a bit naff, there was only a funny moment every couple of episodes or maybe once a series (chandelier, bus exploding, punches moaning man in A+E, Batman & Robin),it has been crazily hyped since. I bet nobody could sit through a series of the old stuff on UK Gold now.
Religious Nut
UK - Thu Dec 27 00:13:15 2001
I am a HUGE fan of OF&H, got them all on tape etc. But didn't like last night's ep much. That widescreen format looked pretty bad on my square TV for a start. Del and Rodders only talked to Trigger. They were down the pub and there were NO familiar faces. Albert + Mike was sadly missed. There was a definte gap and their were so many plot holes and unanswered questions. They had lot millions and were still optimistic - and since when did Del ever go to the authorities to run TIT?
Mickey Pierce looked about 50. The character of DelBoy has changed SO much since the glorious days of the late 80s. Nice flashback of the classic inflatable dolls episode...
Russ
UK - Wed Dec 26 16:43:02 2001
What about dels piss poor acting son? Christ, if they are going to make many more episodes they really want to be sending him to boring school or killing him off, either way will do. Now, back to brain dead.
craig
- Wed Dec 26 01:52:26 2001
Disagree with craig about Only Fools and Horses.. I thought the 'final' 3 episodes (when they became millionaires) were absolutley dire, and since I didn't see this being advertised as much as I thought then I assumed it was going to be really really bad.. In fact it was pretty good.. Almost as good as when it went from half hour episodes to the hour long 'continunity' storylines... Looking forward to the next 2 episodes (personally I think it will make a return next year as well).. Although the cast are looking very very old now days..
FAT UNCLE YULETIDE MARK
LAPLAND - Wed Dec 26 01:25:41 2001
Merry Christmas everyone! Craig especially!
Jacqui
UK - Tue Dec 25 12:33:54 2001
Merry Tuesday and a happy next Tuesday you gits!
boki
- Tue Dec 25 11:33:09 2001
Well Merry Xmas all. But let's not forget the true meaning of Xmas. To drink as much as possible without being arrested or dying.
Religious Nut
UK - Tue Dec 25 01:19:25 2001
Merry Christmas CRrrrrrRRrrrrraiiig
GRAIL
- Tue Dec 25 00:21:00 2001
Turned out to be too expensive.
craig
- Mon Dec 24 22:26:35 2001
My love is very expensive.

I've just been watching a great film, yes, Brewster's Millions. Imagine spending 30 million in a month! Yey! Why don't they make great stuff like that. I love Richard Pryor, but my favourite one is See No Evil, Hear No Evil. They didn't need to spend a vast amount of money to create stupid special effects in those days.... the good old days.....
Lisa
- Mon Dec 24 11:40:05 2001
Yo! Merry Christmas Everybody!
Good luck with your bird tomorrow, Craig.
Hopefully the breast will be succulent, and the skin won't turn out all tough and dry. Remember to grease the thighs BEFORE stuffing the hole. etc.
Powerhouse
Wales - Mon Dec 24 10:04:06 2001
I was asleep miss lisa, i had to sleep after lying awake staring at you all night, i'm sure i'll see you today. Give you gifts and all in pathetic attempts to buy your love.
craig
- Mon Dec 24 03:24:28 2001
Freaked...maybe. Depends on why you were watchin me. Made it to work anyway, but why aren't you online? are you hiding mr rothwell?

Happy Christmas everyone!

Luv Lisa
Lisa
- Mon Dec 24 00:28:10 2001
This is so weird that I thought to myself "Only Craig Rothwell and members of rantback would enjoy it".

it's WTF type thing.

http://iqx.ionichost.com/other/instest.html
Russ
UK - Sun Dec 23 21:03:37 2001
I wish I could see that much snow it is very rare for us to get snow let alone settle! Damn living by the sea! The salt air doesn't help!!!

Matrix is also a firm favourite of my films I watched it 3 times in one days after seeing it! Thats how good I found it!
Jacqui
UK - Sat Dec 22 21:53:27 2001
Maybe if you didn't live at the highest point in england that would not have happened, I mean REALLY - who lives so high it causes my ears to pop and does NOT have a four wheel drive? Although i'm a teeny bit pissed off because its my dream to see so much snow. We only have about 5 inches here. It takes more than that to satisfy lisa.
craig
- Sat Dec 22 17:22:22 2001
I AM NOW TRAPPED IN MY HOUSE.

Can't got to work :-( so I can't afford Christmas. I used to love the snow, now I hate it. It is evil. EVIL.

Will build snowman to prove it.
LIsa
- Sat Dec 22 14:27:53 2001
Craig, you little bitch. Be a good boy. Sorry, didn't mean to type that out loud. :-)

Cool, you have dvd and alcohol. I might have to come and stay with you anyway. We are slowly being snowed in, so even if I make it into work, I'm not sure I'll make it back!!! Is it snowing anywhere else cos I suspect the nations snow quota has just landed on our house. My sister opened the back door and a snow drift landed in the Kitchen, we can't close the door now. Its like something that would happen to Craig. Slapstick.

You should get the matrix on dvd! Its my favourite film. I can't believe you haven't seen it. The evil agent from that plays Elrond in LOTR, it freaked me out. I kept expecting him to say: 'The human race is a bacteria', then to jump in the air and float in slow motion, then punch Gandalf in the face. It would've been funny. Oh yes.

Lisa
- Sat Dec 22 11:53:49 2001
I saw Lord Of The Rings yesterday too! I'm sorry - but it was a little suck-ass! The film could have easily been 2 hours long minus the pointless Elijah Wood crying and Ring fiddling shots. Also, what's with Sean Astin's Benny from Crossroads impression all about. Hell, I won't even bother going into the serious use of homoerotisim...
BattleM@n
UK - Fri Dec 21 13:19:01 2001
I know a person who knows a person who doesn't let you stand on the grass when it has snowed. How sly?!
GRAIL
- Fri Dec 21 11:10:25 2001
Lord of the Rings - It was as good as I expected, if not better. But any film adaptation of the massive novel is gonna have a serious challenge. Alot of the character roles were changed slightly (Saruman), loads completely missed out (Tom Bombadil) and in one case, completely swapped (Arwen/Glorfindel). I did enjoy it though, there were moments which were really excellent which will effect me when I read the book again (for the 100th time), especially in the emotional sense. The film did focus on Frodo, which was good in that his struggle with the ring is excellent, but Craig didn't seem to think characters like Merry and Pippin had any point. And the whole half-elven/Arwen story line just seemed pointless, even to me and brushed over so much they should have left it out. They just wanted to write a woman into it, for the americans probably. Maybe when I see the other two films I will be a happy bunny. The end.

Sorry to rant on! I am passionate about my favourite book!
Lisa
- Thu Dec 20 23:29:01 2001
Why do people get euphoric when they see snow? What's so special about it? I hate it. Cold wet stuff. Roll on the summer!! Only good thing about it is watching old ladies fall over in it in shopping centres.
Russ
Uk - Thu Dec 20 18:37:36 2001
grrrrr
craig
- Thu Dec 20 01:39:41 2001
Its snowing! I will have to start wearing underwear again.
Lisa
- Thu Dec 20 00:54:28 2001
Powerhouse, I think you're a bit off target with your 24 hour meditation marathon as you've just given my dog a hard on.....wierdo.
Soggster
UK - Wed Dec 19 22:58:51 2001
I just changed my browser's default font from Times New Roman to Arial. Gives this page a whole new lease of life, so it does. Give it a try when you're as bored as me!
Powerhouse
Wales - Wed Dec 19 00:34:01 2001
The Queen Mother is a powerful Reptilian alien who simply assumes human form in public, as do the other Royals. She gets her energy from drinking the blood of blond haired blued eyed young boys killed in Satanic rituals at Balmoral and sometimes for a treat "star fire" (menstrual blood). If you kill her old body she will just possess someone else's, a bit like the Master on Doctor Who. I hope that clears everything up.
David Icke
Bedlam - Tue Dec 18 23:49:31 2001
Aw fuckin ell. Well, that was a waste of time, and I've got a numb arse. I give up. Where's bloody Clarence House anyway? Scotland?
Powerhouse
Warming my arse against the fire in Wales - Tue Dec 18 17:10:59 2001
Powerhouse, a suggestion. Your plan may be failing because you're directing all these negative thoughts into Buckingham Palace. The Queen Mother lives in Clarence House. You're taking out the wrong royal old bag..
Rutabaga
UK - Tue Dec 18 15:10:48 2001
nnggnngrnnrgh....................... no
Powerhouse's Powerful Mind
The Ether - Tue Dec 18 09:28:17 2001
is it working yet?
craig
- Tue Dec 18 04:18:22 2001
nnnggrrngghh........ too... late....... meditation... in.. progress......... can't.... stop... now.......... NNNGNNGRRNGH!.......... leave... me.... alone...... now....
Powerhouse's Powerful Mind
The Ether - Tue Dec 18 00:12:02 2001
What if you accidentally wipe out the entire human race?
Lisa
- Mon Dec 17 23:52:35 2001
Since my pinkies decided not to hit the right keys, it was tired from other activities.

But maybe my finger is a philosopher pinky. Maybe death is a treat.

I will now ask my finger lots of meaningful questions.

Me....
- Mon Dec 17 23:51:42 2001
In fifteen minues time I shall be departing to the kitchen. Once there I will strip naked, face Eastwards and assume the lotus position. For an entire 24 hour period I will be casting negative thoughts straight into the heart of Buckingham Palace. Kipper bones, hip joints, top steps, rabid corgis: all will fall under the spell of Powerhouse in his relentless quest for death!

Powerhouse
Wales - Mon Dec 17 23:46:16 2001
Hey, "Me".
Since when was death a "treat"?
You
There - Mon Dec 17 23:45:42 2001
Yes, but if you so much as wave a small magnolia at our royal family, we will have you my son. We won't tolerate any flower holding hippy scum in our great nation.....
Old Bill
- Mon Dec 17 23:17:19 2001
However, you *can* come and fight with the Taliban, or enlist others to do so, and later return to Britain, WITHOUT facing treason charges.
You British shits really make me laugh!
Ho ho ho.
Bin Laden
Afganistan - Mon Dec 17 23:07:38 2001
I will point out that assasination of the Queen Mam would be illegal, and also, high treson, so you would be hanged. It would also be slightly cruel.

But, hitting a royal with a flower is classed as treson aswell. We can't do anything these days with out the treat of death. Its a sad world.
Me....
- Mon Dec 17 23:02:35 2001
Powerhouse. You have just over 24 hours to win the competition. Do you have a cunning plan to win the MP3 player?
Lisa
69 Wormwood St - Mon Dec 17 22:59:20 2001
That is slander, calling us queer!
As the director of BykerGrove told us - it's only gay if you take it. The giver is not gay at all. And we both like to take it! Proof in itself.
Also, we don't do everything together like queers. For example, tonight Ant is going to a party with our good friend Elton John, at Michael Barrymores house. And I am going to do some 'plumbing', over at Julien Clarys' house.
So don't call us queer, or we will come and fuck your ass raw!
Dec (Of straight comedy duo And & Dec)
UK - Mon Dec 17 20:46:13 2001
You ordered one? email me!
craig
- Mon Dec 17 15:27:36 2001
NO, it really is me. Where's my GBA cart/linker thing Craig?
mat
bristol - Mon Dec 17 12:13:38 2001
What about geordie duo Ant and Dick? Surely they are bumming each other, they live next door to each other, drive the same car and other such things, you can only get SO close before your cock is in the other persons ass.
craig
- Mon Dec 17 11:23:01 2001
I can confirm that Dale definately drops anchor in poo bay.
He has been over to my celebrity mansion several times, and on each and every occasion, has suceeded in well and truely packing my fudge.
Incase you were wondering, other B list celebrity tunnel testers, that visit me for rim ramming fun, include; Clive Anderson, David Badiel, Jamie Oliver & his wife Jules, Tony Robinson, Harry Enfield and bum chum mate Paul Whitehouse, and Des Lynham.
Chris Tarrant
UK - Mon Dec 17 10:07:30 2001
but then again, i like to live life close to the edge, man.

- Mon Dec 17 02:38:52 2001
have you bothered to send off for your real licence yet? I havent. and its getting close to the point where that temp one is going to run out.
cRaaigia
- Mon Dec 17 00:25:49 2001
I passed my driving test one year ago today :) Just in case you wanted to know - GTA 3 is now OFFICIALLY banned in Australia in its current form (http://gamespot.com/gamespot/stories/news/0,10870,2832465,00.html). Wow - I'm suprised it's not the same in Britain!
BattleM@n
UK - Sun Dec 16 21:11:06 2001
I heard you was not gay, dale.
craaigg
- Sun Dec 16 19:40:57 2001
I am a well known personality, and renouned homosexual.
Would anyone from this board, like me to come around to their house (in my pink stretch limo), and have me bum them hard and fast?
I particularly like boys, or men with shaved scrotums (at a push).
Dale Winton
UK - Sun Dec 16 13:17:37 2001
I'd not worry, i'm sure the next time she is in hospital everyone will revote under a new name and email addresss. Should be interesting.
craig
- Sun Dec 16 01:02:12 2001
Right, come on Ma'am. You've only got two more days in which to snuff it. It's gonna have to be a bad fall / heart attack demise now, there's no time to get ill. Charles, if you're reading, please could you smear some grease on the top step tomorrow morning? Go on, I'll let you have a listen on my MP3 player honest. You'll get a few quid out of the bargain as well, I'm sure. And we'll all get a couple more days Christmas holiday...
Powerhouse
Wales - Sun Dec 16 00:32:01 2001
my head hurts. probably because i hit it.


several times.
craig
- Sat Dec 15 21:56:07 2001
Lisa :-(
craig
- Sat Dec 15 02:08:04 2001
I'm not nasty. But if you insist on wearing womans underwear, I would suggest that you try buying them somewhere else. My Nana buys her clothes from M&S.....
Lisa
- Fri Dec 14 14:42:38 2001
Nasty Lisa :-(
Powerhouse
Wales - Fri Dec 14 01:21:50 2001
A welsh man in a nightie, from M&S. My fantasty, my heart has skipped a beat.... I'm having a coronary!
Lisa
- Fri Dec 14 01:18:31 2001
I will if you want me to.
Powerhouse
Wales - Fri Dec 14 01:09:30 2001
Did u wear it to bed with a pair of frilly panties?
Lisa
- Fri Dec 14 01:00:51 2001
I got my mam a nice cotton nightie from Marks & Sparks.
Light lilac like Green Fairy's knickers.
Powerhouse
Wales - Fri Dec 14 00:47:11 2001
I can't help being popular.

Still haven't found anything for my mum.

You are all rubbish.
Lisa
Deep in the Wormwood - Fri Dec 14 00:28:03 2001
um erm, wait until the new year, i'll have a proper debit card system in place, and a load more chinese shit for you dudes to buy.
craig
- Thu Dec 13 19:07:36 2001
Craig - is it OK to use nochex.co.uk for the EMUs CDs as well as the Flash linkers?
BattleM@n
UK - Thu Dec 13 17:52:19 2001
Nah, it's Mat, Mat, Mat.
Hello Mat! If that really is Mat. I don't see any identification.
Powerhouse
Wales - Thu Dec 13 16:52:54 2001
it's all lisa lisa lisa
GRAIL
- Thu Dec 13 16:28:14 2001
Hi, it's me, mat. I knew you were all wondering where i got to...

mat
bristol - Thu Dec 13 12:43:27 2001
wormwood!
aha ha aha aaaa
- Thu Dec 13 03:38:36 2001
Think travel lodge lisa.
craig
- Thu Dec 13 03:37:57 2001
I'm no longer in the mood.
Powerhouse
Wales - Thu Dec 13 01:31:39 2001
....u mean geek?
Lisa
Wormwood - Thu Dec 13 00:28:30 2001
Greek?
Lisa
- Thu Dec 13 00:26:51 2001
I'm in the mood right now.
Powerhouse
Wales - Wed Dec 12 23:06:41 2001
I like to give a bit of greek, when i'm in the mood.
craig
- Wed Dec 12 18:58:34 2001
that is fucking ILL man
craig
- Wed Dec 12 16:28:44 2001
has anyone seen this site

http://www.ratemypoo.com/
Russ
UK - Wed Dec 12 13:43:58 2001
Aw, what a nice message!
χαιρετίσματα από Cymru, σοθβλάκη.
Powerhouse
Wales - Wed Dec 12 13:21:42 2001
The 'weirdness' is Greek with your site\script not handling the Greek font :(
σοθβλάκη
Hellas - Wed Dec 12 09:42:10 2001
I thought it might be a proposal of marriage (hmmmmm???!!).
Powerhouse
Wales - Wed Dec 12 09:26:37 2001
whats that coded weirdness down there?
craig
- Wed Dec 12 02:44:30 2001
Too right about those planespotters. Guilty or innocent, it doesn't matter to the press because as soon as Johnny Foreigner arrests any so called British person (i.e. white, preferably middle class and English) they are immediately assumed to be innocent by the likes of the mail & express etc, both of which publications are by their very existence great arguments against 'freedom of the press', the amount of utter shite they print.

Similar thing happened with that shaken baby girl in the USA, because she was young and English it was assumed she was innocent. A little while after some middle aged British woman of Asian origin was arrested for a similar reason in the US. Was there any outcry about how she must be innocent? Was there bollocks.
Blue Meanie
Yorkshire - Tue Dec 11 18:19:42 2001
Καλά Χρίστούγεννα και Ευτυχισμένος ο Craig και Lisa
σουβλάκη
HELLAS - Tue Dec 11 16:55:30 2001
hey Craig, the Geeks still aren't letting those "plane Spotters" go. Like you, I am suspicious too. There is something they ain't telling us. Anyhoo, I was amused at the Mail's "Free the Planespotters" thing they have going. They have NO chance of release with Jack 'the fucking twat' Straw as our foreign secretary - and Greece is friendly to the UK.
Russ
- Tue Dec 11 13:30:14 2001
Eyes bigger than your belly? Or fanny in this case?

- Mon Dec 10 23:54:32 2001
I've heard the pulsator is massive. Too big in fact.
A concerned member of the public
- Mon Dec 10 23:25:39 2001
HOW ABOUT THE PURPLE PULSATER!

- Mon Dec 10 23:13:33 2001
Here's some suggestions for your mums XMas pressie;

A little black/brown/yellow baby (get them on ebay).
A liver or kidney (just incase she has health problems in later life - again from ebay).
Some shite overpriced jewelery from QVC.
A set of reindeer antlers (that I just happen to be selling - again on ebay).
Santa
Iceland - Mon Dec 10 21:47:37 2001
Glad u alive Craig. I had been wondering about that.

I need some help. What can I buy my Mum for Christmas? Any suggestions, and please don't suggest anything that I have already bought her. Or anything rude.
Lisa
- Mon Dec 10 21:02:28 2001
Why are you posting everything twice?
Lisa
- Mon Dec 10 20:59:52 2001
I assume that you have been reading your "Fantastic Animal Facts" book. Why is there no mention of the worlds largest and greatest lizard, the Tree Crockodile?

It would give the "komodo monitor lizard" a 30 second head start and still have time to drink its pint before the smaller lizard had finished.

Long live the Tree Crockodile!
Tree Crocodile
Boro - Mon Dec 10 20:53:16 2001
I assume that you have been reading your "Fantasit Animal Facts" book. Why is there no mention of the worlds biggest and greatest lizzard, the Tree Crockodile?

It would give the "Komodo monitor lizard" a 30 second head start and still have time to drink its pint before the monitor lizard had finished.

Long live the Tree Crockodile!
Tree Crocodile
Boro - Mon Dec 10 20:46:09 2001
Who would win in a space raider challenge between the following animals?

1. Squirrel vs Rabbit
2. Siberian Tiger Vs Crocodile
3. Cow Vs Sheep
4. Dog Vs Cat
5. Pelican Vs Puffin
6. Panther Vs Mountain Goat
7. Horse Vs Fruit Bat
8. Mole Vs Giraffe
9. Goose Vs Giant Panda
10. Koala Vs Okapi

Obviously a komodo dragon would win against any of the above - so much so that it would be willing to give each animal a 10 second headstart. If we can get hold of some animals maybe we could get them to race when we hold our space raider challenge day.

Komodo x

PS impressive times there craig.
Komodo Dragon
guiseley - Mon Dec 10 19:21:12 2001
Who would win in a space raider challenge between the following animals?

1. Squirrel vs Rabbit
2. Siberian Tiger Vs Crocodile
3. Cow Vs Sheep
4. Dog Vs Cat
5. Pelican Vs Puffin
6. Panther Vs Mountain Goat
7. Horse Vs Fruit Bat
8. Mole Vs Giraffe
9. Goose Vs Giant Panda
10. Koala Vs Okapi

Obviously a komodo dragon would win against any of the above - so much so that it would be willing to give each animal a 10 second headstart. If we can get hold of some animals maybe we could get them to race when we hold our space raider challenge day.

Komodo x
Komodo Dragon
guiseley - Mon Dec 10 19:20:32 2001
Lisa, Craig wants you to know he's alive.

The future is orange.
Craig's Mobile phone
Craig's pocket - Mon Dec 10 02:35:06 2001
I tried some fake milk, you know, made for vegans or whatever, it was quite nice, sweet tasting, suprisingly you have probably all had it before - its the stuff in the little pots you get with tea from macdonalds, or in hotel rooms I think they use it because it does not go off. Oh... space raiders time - 49seconds, did that today, had 3 bags 49seconds was my best time - mouth is hurting now. Space raiders are 6p each from your local Costco i checked when i was last there.
craig
- Sun Dec 9 22:47:26 2001
hey, komodo here. today i had ham sandwiches for my lunch and a cornish pastie. after that i was too full to eat my packet of crisps. found nothing in my ham sandwich except ham (and margerine although that is not worth mentioning, although i just mentioned it) although did find something green in my cornish pasty - not sure if it was a pea or not. didn't look like one. does anyone like milk - got a question. when does milk become stale milk? surely there must be a point where you say that milk is good and then a few seconds later, it's stale. does milk become stale over night? - like the tooth fairy. always wondered.
komodo dragon (the largest lizard in the world).
Komodo Dragon
guiseley - Sun Dec 9 17:48:19 2001
You should put up a pic of that pint!
Jacqui
UK - Sun Dec 9 17:34:37 2001
I got some milk from some independant shop the other day, it was in pints, like the olden days, and it was covered in the british flag and save british farming (where they feed cows cows and pigs pigs, cause foot and mouth and CJD -heeyyyy that could make a good song... NO... a PLAY... A MUSICAL!) oh hang on, i'm not gay. But if I were i'd make that musical.
craig
- Sun Dec 9 03:35:08 2001
What quantity of cum would that be? A teaspoon, a pint, a gallon?
plant
uk - Sat Dec 8 22:57:10 2001
My husband can't get ANYTHING right!
Sophie Wessex
Hospital trolley - NOT - Sat Dec 8 17:16:32 2001
Somebody cheer me up, for fucks sake.
Soggster
UK - Sat Dec 8 17:13:44 2001
Cum has 14 calories.......
Lisa
- Sat Dec 8 12:11:10 2001
My right forearm looks like Popeye's. Unfortunately, my left forearm looks like Olive Oyl's.
ANON
Wales - Sat Dec 8 10:55:53 2001
Nothing like a good wank first thing in the morning to get the circulation going :)
Russ
UK - Sat Dec 8 04:59:24 2001
I hope wanking and sex is good excersise, because its probably the only kind i get.
craig
- Sat Dec 8 04:19:06 2001
How many calories does masturbation burn off? It seems a more entertaining alternative to many other exercise techniques.
Blind Boris
Le Chateau On Le Plateau - Sat Dec 8 00:19:11 2001
I demand more christmas
Lisa
- Fri Dec 7 22:15:22 2001
It could of been worse - http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/health/newsid_1346000/1346511.stm
George harrison
Something - Somewhere - Fri Dec 7 15:47:58 2001
No, Barrymore. I am very much not awight. Next time you have a party, don't bother inviting me.
Dead party guest
The underwurlde - Fri Dec 7 09:29:57 2001
Awight!
Michael Barrymoor
UK (poolside) - Fri Dec 7 07:57:54 2001
and Greg Dyke :P
Barrymore
Striking it lucky - Fri Dec 7 03:21:17 2001
Barrymore should invite Jim Davidson and Bruce Forsyth to one of his parties. The ramifications would be great.
lenny
- Fri Dec 7 00:40:50 2001
On the subject of crisps, I like the brand "Quentine Crisps".
They are hand made by my favourite actor (much like the "Paul Newman" range of products), and on the reverse of each pack there's a different fudge packing technique (19 to collect). My personal favourite flavour is roast beef injection.
Michael Barrymoor
UK (poolside) - Thu Dec 6 07:58:33 2001
While in cookery class at school the teacher Miss 'Phwooooar' Dixon, was teaching us how to make Cornish pasties, and she had the pastry ready, and the mince meat ready, and opended a tin of mixed veg and tipped it out in to a sieve to get rid of the juice. Unfortuntately said tin contained 1 small cube of carrot which dropped follornly into the sieve. The assembled young boys burst out laughing as Miss Dixon slowly began to sob then quietly left the room.

We made sausage rolls. Magic.
Soggster
UK - Thu Dec 6 00:07:39 2001
Roughage, dear boy. Helps to maintain a healthy sphincter.
Powerhouse
Wales - Wed Dec 5 23:09:25 2001
whats that all about, eating foods we can't digest. I try to avoid them me.
crauugugugug
- Wed Dec 5 13:15:58 2001
Hmmm. I never had a solid chocolate KitKat, or Quavers with a shiny one in, but I had a shit this morning with carrots and sweetcorn in.
Pooper
Crapington-on-sea - Wed Dec 5 12:56:20 2001
When I was younger I bought a packet of Quavers, only to find that one of them was hard and shiny, and not the light fluffy thing I was expecting. Scarred me for life that did, I still have nightmares. Has anyone read the latest issue of Bizarre? There's a letter with a reply on page 8 to Mr Kipling, complaining that the Cherry on a Cherry Bakewell wasn't centred.
plant
uk - Wed Dec 5 07:56:41 2001
I'd like to try to bypass your boobie traps.
craig
- Wed Dec 5 02:27:39 2001
I once got half a solid chocolate kit-kat.... Do I have some weird memory of a chocolate orange flavoured kit kat? I love chocolate orange, I do I do. I would brave many Indiana type boobie traps to have one!
Lisa
- Wed Dec 5 00:33:54 2001
Hey Peety yousofine, yousofine you blow my mind
Hey Peety! (clap-clap clap)
Hey Peety! (clap-clap clap)
Hey Peety, have you or anyone else here bought one o' those fabled 'KitKat without any wafer inside it'? EVERYONE else at my school got one at one time or another EXCEPT ME!!! I bet it doesn't happen any more either, what with modern science techniques n'all. Oh, what I'd give for a solid choccy KitKat.
PLUS! My dad bought a bag of 'fun size' KitKats today, each one wrapped in a paper outer sleeve with a SILVER FOIL inner wrapping. In Co-Op.
TAKE THAT YOU FOIL JUNKIES!
Powerhouse
Wales - Wed Dec 5 00:12:08 2001
helo i amt peety am i an stil arfteeer am nerw gerfrrend thnak yoo peety
peety
leeds - Tue Dec 4 23:41:57 2001
I amt peety am i an haf spaayc rayders an my dad haf a gam wit ther spacyc raydders am he do put therm in my pants am he doos eet them am liik me i liek spaycc raddrs inn peetys bum thannk yoo peety
Peety
Leeds - Tue Dec 4 23:40:23 2001
Yes i like Indiana Jones, all of them. Well... not the 'young indiana jones' but you know. Also i once got a tin of ravioli and it had no ravioli in it, just a tin of sauce. Got £10s worth of vouchers for that shit.
craigooxx
- Tue Dec 4 21:05:58 2001
My Sister found a twenty pound note in her crisps once.

Just out of interest for Craig "SW is cack" Rothwell: Have you seen any Indy films?
Russ - UK
- Tue Dec 4 19:05:38 2001
found a cow in a field once, but i wasn't eating the field - does this count? also once bought some baked beans and was shocked to find some little sausages in them. wrote to heinz but they never replied.
Komodo
Komodo Dragon
guiseley - Tue Dec 4 18:27:33 2001
in the time its taken you to do that you could have probably downloaded and played every single game on the WOS archive. Just like in the time its taking the bank to get back to me I could have probably driven down to the liverpool 'team' that are dealing with my complaint and punched each one of them in the face, killed their plants and made tiny chips in their car windscreens.
craig
- Tue Dec 4 16:39:55 2001
Byte Bitten! I used to play that rubbish for hours, hidden behind the curtains all summer long. Ahh, nostalgia!
That reminds me, I must get round to buying one of Crothwell's CDs...
Powerhouse
Wales - Tue Dec 4 16:32:54 2001
i dont know if you know of this site but you can play speccy games online and lists old 80s cartoons http://www.80snostalgia.com . I used to think that hod dog flavour outer spacers were the best till they changed to space raiders.
cardiffguy
wales - Tue Dec 4 02:29:49 2001
55 seconds for the space raiders, I timed until my mouth was empty.
craig
- Mon Dec 3 16:17:45 2001
I once found a plastic dinosour in my rice crispies. Almost choked on the damn thing.
Russ
UK - Mon Dec 3 03:17:14 2001
I'd blame it on big dave
jimmy
- Sun Dec 2 21:48:43 2001
This is true- During the summer I purchased a Chicken and Mushroom King Size pot noodle for my lunchat work. When I opened it I was horrified to discover a large piece of (possibly human?) shit. I had two witnesses to this. I should have sent it back but I just threw in the bin immediately. The most annoying thing was I wa sstarving at the time and had to work all afternoon. Has anyone else found wierd things in their products?
Tree Crocodile
Boro - Sun Dec 2 19:57:55 2001
and powerhouse, i see no reason for the 'king size' pot noodle. normal size is sufficient. chunky kit kats are nicer than normal kit kats, i agree, but i just want foil. in an ideal world there would be such a thing as a foiled chunky kit kat.
Komodo Dragon
guiseley - Sun Dec 2 18:50:14 2001
hey kids. back home from my graduation. in a bit of a mood because there is a program on at the moment about the komodo dragon but someone is in the lounge watching the simpsons. don't get me wrong, i love the simpsons, but respect must always be given to the world's largest lizard. and also the best.
set a new space raiders record in the space raiders challenge - 40 seconds! it was on wednesday after we had played football - we all raced simultaneously. 3 seconds off the record is pretty good. craig you need to buy some space raiders as soon as you can - you sound upset. on wednesday night me and 2 friends bought one hundred space raiders in the union and threw them out to people while singing 'i am the music man' on karaoke. we thought it was pretty cool but we probably looked like dicks.
powerhouse - you are right of course, pringles are nice (cheese n chives are best), and the introduction of 'chunky kit kat' was an excellent move by nestle rowntrees. but come on - we need foil on our kit kats!!!!!! did anyone notice cadbury's copied the 'chunky' idea by introducing chunky time out. wasn't as successful as chunky kit kat tho. how much is a chunky kit kat in your local store? 32p for me. twix is still the best value for money - two separate bars for around 26p. not sure why but the price of twix has remained steady while other chocolate bar's prices have spiralled out of control.
creme eggs are nice and the size of them doesn't bother me too much because i eat them in one. me and my friend 'tree crocodile' had a discussion about when one could purchase creme eggs. he reckoned all year round but i said no way man - only from about feb-june. anyone any opinions on that?
keep it real. craig - are you setting up a crisps web site?
save the komodo,
komodo-x
Komodo Dragon
guiseley - Sun Dec 2 18:45:23 2001
Did you notice on the bottom of the page about the lap dancing club they put:

Disclaimer

Don't take this seriously. It's just a bit of fun, isn't it?




Jacqui
UK - Sun Dec 2 16:54:42 2001
I could not find space raiders at a single service station, so ended up having a giant bag of skips. Also, me and lisa found a biggest M&M peanut I have ever seen. Its now residing in my digestive tract.
craig
- Sun Dec 2 12:43:04 2001
Doh!
Religious Nut
UK - Sun Dec 2 00:36:02 2001
Now I have spelt embarrassed wrong. How embarrasing.
Religious Nut
UK - Sun Dec 2 00:35:33 2001
Well speaking for myself I was just observing an embarrased silence after Powerhouse used the phrase "nibble my penis". Even for him to have used this phrase as a quote is unforgiveable. Oh, oh dear...
Religious Nut
UK - Sun Dec 2 00:33:50 2001
Talk about a silence, did i forget to water this place or something
craig
- Sun Dec 2 00:09:59 2001
I'll have to remember that "nibble my penis" line next time I want to create an embarrassed silence in a public place. :-)
Powerhouse
Wales - Fri Nov 30 22:20:19 2001
You sure can Lisa, you'll probably love the softy creamy centre after a few nibbles...........
Blargh
- Thu Nov 29 09:40:06 2001
Yeah, I never cared for the series, but the song was pretty good.
Russ
UK - Thu Nov 29 08:01:09 2001
The littlest hobo was so odd.... I just don't understnad how people could watch it. What was the moral? Always trust roaming stray dogs in America? Yeah, right!
Lisa
- Thu Nov 29 00:10:41 2001
'Maybe tomorrow I'll wanna settle down'
'Until Tomorrow I'll just keep movin' on'

I think you'll find that Burdock is a type of secretion found in the folds
of fat people.....Now where did I put my flannel on a stick?
Soggster
UK - Wed Nov 28 23:02:04 2001
ggaarrr, I Hate it when people put up Chrimbo decorations way too early. Usually old people do it.

Whooo hooo - just downloaded the theme tune to "The littlest Hobo" from AudioGalaxy.
Russ
UK - Wed Nov 28 22:42:21 2001
That is nonsense. I drink burdock all the time.
Religious Nut
UK - Wed Nov 28 22:07:42 2001
Burdock is a native American flower of the Dwhite-Shults variety. According to legend, whoever should drink a potion made of it's leaves is cursed with being made 'howling mad'.
Powerhouse
Wales - Wed Nov 28 21:32:49 2001
I thought burdock was a weed, that I used to rub on nettle stings to ease the pain.

Craig, don't whinge about early carol singers when your house is lit up like Santa's personal massage parlour.....

Lisa
- Wed Nov 28 21:27:15 2001
I had a can of Dandelion and Burdock today. Can anyone tell me what a 'Burdock' is? What the fuck am I drinking?
plant
uk - Wed Nov 28 20:21:47 2001
Guyfawkes sent me this crisp link http://www.geocities.com/ukcg0/main.htm its not been updated in a while, and some of you more seasoned crisp critics may be alarmed at its amateure mistakes (space raiders only has one flavour apparently) but its a start. I'm going to set up a page using our combined knowlage on this subject.
craig
- Wed Nov 28 19:49:00 2001
www.spaceraiders.co.uk that is REALLY REALLY WRONG. what a waste.
craig
- Wed Nov 28 19:37:16 2001
I'd have loved to have done the space raider challenge - if my local garage sold space raiders! Then asda didn't have them either. I know you can get boxes of 25 from costco so I'll get those for all of £2 - then lets GET IT ON.
craig
- Wed Nov 28 18:18:45 2001
I can remember when I was a kid I always wanted a Cadbury's cream egg gift box for Easter. But as my family don't do easter I was never allowed one! Now I'm old enough I brought one only to find that massive egg was just a hollow egg! I was gutted I thought they would be filled with that yummy cream!! Mmmmmm Cream
Jacqui
UK - Wed Nov 28 17:52:16 2001
Somebody else remembers Ringos! Finally, I knew it wasn't all a wonderful dream. I loved the Salt and Vinegar, but Cheese and Onion was rank. And KitKats, what a bunch of shit. I opened one this morning, couldn't get the fucking red tag thing to work and ended up losing half of it on the floor - bring back foil!
Rutabaga
UK - Wed Nov 28 11:22:06 2001
Can I eat that though?
Lisa
- Wed Nov 28 10:34:14 2001
Well Lisa, my cock has certainly got bigger over the years, but that's beside the point.... ;P
Blargh
UK - Wed Nov 28 09:08:16 2001
NTL is the BIGGEST pile of shit going. I HATE those cocksuckers.

Something nice: Mint aeros. huge Swizzel lollies that are about 25p each. THEY have grown :) packets of refreshers seem to of shrunk more than my nut-sack in a cold shower. When was the last time anyone bothered with those kinder suprises?? man, those adverts make me cringe with embarassment
Russ
UK - Wed Nov 28 08:52:00 2001
Yes I am pissed again but, "no ringo goes like a ringo goes" (I may have spelt it wrong but it sounds like the old advert)

(1989ish) Billy Bingo and his magic Ringo? (It could be worn as a medalion or as a funky headband( allways to impress the (chicks) women)

(Can anyone tell me the English grammer rules on brackets please?)

Also can anyone tell me why I am cut off the internet about every 15 minutes (I am on NTL)?

Is there anything I can do about it?
Tree Crocodile
Boro - Wed Nov 28 03:58:44 2001
Where's the Wormwitch gone? Did Craig do the space Raider challenge, or is he all talk? Did you see spiral weirdo Jamie Oliver's nice GBA T shirt? Kitkat Chunky's a fine example of modern growth.
Pwrhws
Wales - Tue Nov 27 22:43:17 2001
Cadbury's cream eggs are so small now. It really makes me sad, and bags of crisps seem smaller to. I think it is a conspiracy by the government the combat the 'getting fat like America phenomena'.

I'm trying to think of something that has astually got bigger since my childhood. Unfortunately this doesn't include my breasts.

The mini is bigger, but cadillacs are much smaller, so it cancels out.

I dunno. Any suggestions of modern growth? Lets try to be more optimistic on this page :-)
Lisa
- Tue Nov 27 22:20:54 2001
I'm mith Komodo, nothing beats having a Kit-Kat and then flattening out the foil with a biro to get rid of the wrinkles. Excecutive power toys my arse,
Kit-Kat foil is the kiddy.
Soggster
UK - Tue Nov 27 20:27:33 2001
But Komodo, think of all the advantages that modern science has brought us...

Kit Kat Chunky
Pringles
A Twix that tastes nice
King Pot Noodles
etc...

Quit living in the past, man.
Powerhouse
Wales - Tue Nov 27 20:19:23 2001
Mars Bars (1990) - 21p for 65 grams
Mars Bars (2001) - 33p for 58 grams
Fact.
Maybe somebody should confront the ongoing crisis of our most beloved chocolate snacks and crisp delights deteriorating in size but increasing in price. Does Blair read this page - maybe he can get on the case - he has nothing else to do, it's not as if there is a war on.
Anyone remeber 'ringos'? they came in a more rectangular bag than usual crips. i remember the cheese and onion flavour was really strong.
What is the theory behind Marathon changing to Snicker? Surely Marathon was a good name as it could be seen to resemble the consumption of the large chewy chocolate delight in that it was a tough chocolate bar to eat (obviously before it shrank in size - you hear me blair?). I mean what the fuck is a snicker?
And kitkats tasted better with the silver foil on. and they were more fun to eat - rather like it is more fun to get a christmas present with wrapping paper that is tough to open. More rewarding having two separate wrappers to take off.

I think i'm in love - probably just hungry.

Komodo x
Komodo Dragon
guiseley - Tue Nov 27 20:11:08 2001
aw! Why didn't anybody laugh at my joke? I feel so rejected...

That shafted was brilliant last night, if only to see those two greedy buggers lose an 'undred grand each.
Powerhouse
Wales - Tue Nov 27 20:10:44 2001
Shafted has been shafted. It was inevitable really. Like Craig's obsession with anus' (or is it anui).... predictable.
Lisa
- Tue Nov 27 17:08:03 2001
Mars bars give me tooth ache too, funnly i just ate one and it did, and I almost mentioned it earlier. I'm also sure wagon wheels are much smaller, and digestive buiscuits are also smaller, as they now fit in my cup and they didn't used to, thats evidence. Lisa is talking to me about anal sex, so as revenge to her winding me up right now, i'm writing this. ahaha.
craig
- Tue Nov 27 16:41:10 2001
Wagon wheels and Mars bars give me toothache. Now prawn shells. THOSE are lovely. can you still get tootie frooties? I ain't seen them in ages.
Russ - UK
- Tue Nov 27 15:09:24 2001
Stararse, right on.

Bloody Wagon Wheels, if the get any smaller they'll have to build them from
individual atoms. I reached 6 feet tall at the age of 13 in 1983, and I'm bloody well sure they've got small since then. its not the same as the primary school chair argument, as we're all bigger. Its just not the same!...Sniff.
What I need is a wagon wheel wrapper from 1975 to prove my theories once and for all. Then the laughing will stop! Nyyyyahahaha!
Soggster
UK - Tue Nov 27 14:30:14 2001
Yes you can. You can have anal sphincter piercings.
http://perforations.com/educate1/Piercing_Page.asp?piertype=20
green fairy dot com
- Tue Nov 27 11:08:59 2001
I just remembered some thing I saw on TV, there was this guy who said he was refusing to buy snickers until it was renamed marithon and the original recipe was used again, surely it tastes exactly the same? BUT I follow what hes saying, but i'm on the side of Opral Fruits. Starburst, more like stararse.
craig
- Tue Nov 27 10:28:08 2001
I've decided to scrap the emulation thing and start selling crisps in bulk. Its a whole new concept.
craig
- Tue Nov 27 10:26:13 2001
I remember that. That was the first occurance of the dreaded "scampi fingers" to be recorded from a packet of salt & vinegar! :-)
Powerhouse
Wales - Tue Nov 27 10:05:16 2001
I wonder if its possible to have your arse pierced.... greenfairy?

I'll say it before someone else: Awight? - barrymoor.
craig
- Tue Nov 27 08:04:49 2001
Soggster, just to put the record straight - it was in fact a severed labia in a bag of salt n vinegar ghostbusters.

Johnsy
Johnsy
UK - Tue Nov 27 00:20:40 2001
Very similar to the Square crisps, I believe that the same firm did TUBES 'N' LOOPS and the TV advert had a 'Tubaloopasaurus' running riot. I recall that both types of crisps had a similar texture and taste, although I haven't seen Tubes and Loops for ages. I know that Johnsy (a recent poster) spent many years working for Sooner Foods and Golded Wonder, makers of Wheat Crunchies, Nik-Naks etc. He often jokes about the time a bag of Thundercats snacks were returned as the bag contained a human arse.
Soggster
UK - Mon Nov 26 23:48:51 2001
Did u do a degree in crips and potato snacks? I love curry pot mash sandwiches personally, better than a crisp sarnie anyday!
Wormwitch
- Mon Nov 26 22:01:06 2001
square crisps used to be smith's before they were walkers. and they are nice. when my mum used to buy a variety bag of smith's (square crisps, frazzles and chipsticks) the square crisps used to always get munched first. it always lead to massive arguments - my parents eventually got divorced over it. it got to the point where my mum would hide the crisps and i always got chipsticks in my packed lunch. the other kids used to laugh at me cos they all got square crisps and frazzles.
but then i discovered space raiders.
have my graduation week from wed-sun. going to get a massive space raider challenge going in the union. teesside university. come join us - you can get in with any NUS card, and if you haven't one then i will sign you in - but it costs 50p (or 5 bags of space raiders).
komodo x
Komodo Dragon
guisley - Mon Nov 26 21:44:26 2001
and here's a special link for cragix http://www.4bitterguys.com/rants/officegba/
Russ
UK - Mon Nov 26 19:30:23 2001
I stayed up 3 days on the row last week, Craig. NOW they tell me that pro plus is VERY bad for you :/

Anyway, you all MUST check out this link if you want a good LAUGH!!

http://badlinks.brutal.com/arnie/
Russ
UK - Mon Nov 26 19:01:13 2001
Sogg,

You'll be pleased to know that you can indeed still get frazzles, as I had a bag last night.

Also, I rang UCI to suggest a 'an evening of Star Wars, Ale and Hot Pies' but they just told me to (quote) "Fuck Off".

Cracking idea though....maybe Warner Village will be interested - or perhaps, 'Scunthorpe Screen' under the library......

Johnsy


Johnsy
UK - Mon Nov 26 18:02:13 2001
My local cinema did something similar for back to the future, and at halloween they always do an all night back to back series of films, like Nightmare on elm street, friday the 13th, halloween etc. Makes me wonder why not star wars, maybe there is a legal restriction...
craig
- Mon Nov 26 02:23:46 2001
Shawshank should have won, but Star Wars, aged 6, little spaceship comes into view, chased by the biggest thing i'd ever seen, and music so loud it makes your ears bleed. Genius. They should play all 3 (orig) Star Wars films back to back at the cinema, and only let people aged between 28 and 40 in. They should have as much beer and food as you can manage, all brought to your seat. I'd pay £50 for a night like that. Come on UCI, do it now you narrow minded tossers. Just for 1 night, you'd get a full house, no problem.

PS Can you still get Frazzles?
Soggster
UK - Mon Nov 26 00:33:24 2001
You will fail the challenge. I bet u can't even eat a whole bag! I will beat u, eating the low fat walker lites anyway.
Wormwitch
- Sun Nov 25 21:34:58 2001
me not know english good. i shall be trying the space raiders challenge tommorow.
craig
- Sun Nov 25 21:31:22 2001
I've decided to use my real name.

I liked the square crisps. Didn't they used to be KP or something, but now seem to be walkers? They are the best for crisp sandwichs, from an ergonomic perspective, and taste like little tiles from heaven.
Wormwitch (Lisa)
- Sun Nov 25 21:30:55 2001
Just tried those new Bugle crisps- what do y'all make of them? Cheap rip-off of quality corn snacks like space raiders and monster munch I say. Managed to down a pack in 1min 7secs. (Can't buy space raiders on campus- must start protest)

By the way, shouldn't it say 'Your Identity' not 'You Identity', Craig?
Rutabaga
UK - Sun Nov 25 21:26:01 2001
hey people. never tried the chocolate walkers crisps myself but did try the funny flavoured skips - they came in a pink wrapper - were they donut flavoured or something? i reckon it would be possible to eat a pack of skips in about 15-20 seconds (maybe less) due to the texture and properties of them. has anyone ever eaten a whole pack of skips without using their teeth? i haven't but i reckon it would be good fun to try sometime - you could even time it. wow. when me and my mate did our top 20 crisps lists last year i had hulahoops as top on the list (ready salted). pretty safe but you can't go wrong with a bag of kp hula hoops. mmm..i have hula hoop sandwiches with loads of butter and sliced bread. real nice. kp vs walkers - who wins? you'd initially have to say walkers, but then there are a lot of kp crisps that you don't think of. so maybe kp.
wheat crunchies are nice too. if you suck all the flavour out of a wheat crunchie (bacon is best) and then eat the crisp it tastes of oat crunchie cereals. maybe you could buy a box of oat crunchie breakfast cereals and make your own flavoured wheat crunchies.
komodo dragon x
Komodo Dragon
guiseley - Sun Nov 25 20:36:35 2001
I think were just going to have to make a crisps page, all this amazing info needs to be recorded for the future. The internet Crisp database.
craig
- Sun Nov 25 15:27:56 2001
Going back to the weird crisp flavours... Does anyone remeber when (it may of been walkers or Smiths) released 'Hedgehog' flavoured crisps?? Basically they were beef flavoured, so I never really understood why they called them hedgehog..

Fat Uncle Mark
England - Sun Nov 25 10:25:40 2001
I was actually joking about all the stuff, apart from the maids outfit.....
Lisa
- Sat Nov 24 21:54:30 2001
Just finished watching a clockwork orange! So thought I'd come on here!! GTA3 is good but not as good as crazy taxi! Worth getting though cause you get to punch people and stuff!
Jacqui
UK - Sat Nov 24 20:58:27 2001
GTA 3 is pretty damn good. Definately not a family choice, but a hoot all the same.
Soggster
UK - Sat Nov 24 15:50:08 2001
Before i go and buy a PS2 for xmas, is GTA3 as cool and fun and even better than crazy taxi?
crrraig
- Sat Nov 24 14:39:10 2001
I work up at 3:45pm feeling really sick, i mean it was already dark! I thought it was early! Well... must have needed the sleep as they say, its only messed up the whole day.
craig
- Fri Nov 23 16:32:17 2001
Nah lisa has tiy little feet, like a pixie.
craig
- Fri Nov 23 16:31:03 2001
You may be right, it could well be Lisas shoe...Its a size 14 Totector industrial Brogue. Does that sound ok? She could be my Cinderella. lol.
Soggster
UK - Fri Nov 23 15:32:12 2001
you can get Dreamcasts for £30 (£35 boxed) from Grainger Games man, Craig. That other one has to stay in the land of the free.
GRAIL
- Fri Nov 23 15:13:18 2001
Does anyone remember when Walkers(?) brought out chocolate flavoured crisps for a while? Didn't try them myself - bet they were horrible!! Did anyone try them, what were they like? That must be the most bizarre flavour crisps i've seen!!!
Marsiansheep (back from the grave)
UK - Fri Nov 23 10:38:20 2001
Actually people keep throwing lisas shoe out the window, maybe it IS her shoe.
craig
- Fri Nov 23 00:55:01 2001
I'm interested in why you kept the shoe lol
craig
- Fri Nov 23 00:53:40 2001
I have a filthy old shoe I found in a car park when I stopped for a piss. You can
gladly have that. If you pay the postage of course. I was going to put it on EBAY
but I'm feeling generous.
soggster
uk - Thu Nov 22 23:58:13 2001
What a cheek!
Actually... would the sender of these..... um...... "dirty" things get to..... er... enjoy the..... um.... "benefits"?
Not that I'm asking you understand. er..... it was ...ahh... somebody else....
Powerhouse
Wales - Thu Nov 22 23:40:28 2001
...and packet of salt n' vinegar space raiders, as never had them.
Lisa
- Thu Nov 22 23:11:42 2001
Also send me porn. And dirty things. Hehehehe

I would also like the little french maid outfit from Ann Summers.... with pink feather duster.
Lisa
- Thu Nov 22 23:10:30 2001
I remember awhile back I started the conversation about Scampi and Lemon nic naks they were yummy!
Jacqui
UK - Thu Nov 22 19:21:12 2001
A mate of mine whom I went to college a few years back has done a "get your tits out" type website. he is a proffesional website developer. The site is alright, but you can tell they are essex boys a mile off.
http://www.boysholiday.com/

I haven't gone through it much, but there should be tits in there somewhere.
Russ
UK - Thu Nov 22 09:56:24 2001
PS - Bandai have the rights to make the GameGear in the US. They released it with a few popular games (like sonic) 2 or 3 years back!
BattleM@n
UK - Wed Nov 21 15:42:43 2001
LOL! GTA3 is BY FAR the best game for the PS2. I've just started the last third of the missions and I'm still finding cool new stuff! The 3D gamemaker is just a click the buttons affair, but it seems as if there could be a lot of potential power under there. Shame it spews up 'don't sell this game' messages at the end and has such *HUGE* executable files (small 1 level game was 13Mb!!!). The Asda plight reminds me of 2 years ago in Woolies when I managed to make the *ahem* undercover agent follow me all around the store in a huge circuit. Ahhh, the memories...
BattleM@n
UK - Wed Nov 21 15:40:12 2001
I have to say I'm fed up with all the smut on TV. I mean when I tune in to Frank Skinner or Graham Norton, I don't expect to hear swearing or discussions of sexual acts. I expect some lively intellectual debate on the issues of the day. When I watch Eurotrash I don't expect nudity and innuendo, I expect to see insightful features on the world of Scandinavian household appliance museums, and obscure sporting events. When a documentary on the anatomy of the female sexual organ is broadcast, I expect pixies and fairies, bubbles and balloons, not brazen pornography. Mediawatch UK is spot on in their criticisms.
Julian Clary
UK - Wed Nov 21 13:50:40 2001
tried some salt and vinegar space raiders earlier. I swear, they have defintely lost a lot of quality since the "Zelda" days. Now they have a pic of an aliens head on the cover.
Worcester sauce french fries are much better :)
Russ
UK - Wed Nov 21 01:31:28 2001
The 3D Gamemaker rocks, and as you can scan in your own backgrounds and photos for characters you can spectacularly kill all the people you hate. Of course I only use mine to create virtual reality prayer meetings with famous Christians of the past. Then we burn all the heretics.
Religious Nut
UK - Wed Nov 21 00:22:04 2001
powerhouse - congratulations mate - you are hitting some pretty good times there in the space raider challenge. don't worry about damaging teeth, its all part of the game. heard a rumour today that playstation 2 might be bringing out a space raider challenge game. only a rumour probably. who is this 'tree crocodile' character? i have heard of a tree crocodile but it is only a small little excuse of a lizard. the komodo dragon eats tree crocs for it's mid morning snack.
off to buy some space raiders.
the dragon x
Komodo Dragon
guiseley - Wed Nov 21 00:11:21 2001
I'm looking forward to GTA3, and it may sound outragious but i believe the gamegear is still made, its extreamly popular in some more poor countries, same goes for the lynx, they still make lynx games. Annnd finally, that 3D game creator, does it have a language, AMOS style, or is it just click and make? oh yeah, tommorow i'll be trying the space raiders task.
craig
- Tue Nov 20 23:15:42 2001
Ah'm gonna close this place down, crazy muthas
the judge
WWW county court - Tue Nov 20 22:19:32 2001
On the way home from school me and a mate went into the sweety shop on the way
home, and he bought a Wham bar with the crackley bits in. He opened it up to
scoff it and about a third of the bar was missing and was replaced by a similar
volume of DEAD ANTS! Still tasted the same though.

Has anybody else found anything outre in a snack treat?
Soggster
UK - Tue Nov 20 21:16:41 2001
Hey Craig, any idea how come all these old Lynxes, Jaguars and Game Gears have started turning up in Game all of a sudden? It's ironic that they're pushing out the Dreamcast and using most of the space it was given for older, long defunct consoles, innit? People still aren't getting rid of their DCs yet, though. You can get loads of 2nd hand N64s and PSXs in there for 30 and 50 quid respectively, but on the rare occasion that you do see a DC it's 65 quid!
boki
- Tue Nov 20 20:30:00 2001
Thanks for the info, Battlem@n :) I used to work near MerryHill.
Russ
UK - Tue Nov 20 19:06:42 2001
GTA3 should be out around March 2002 for PC. As for the 3 cream crackers thinggy - I did manage to break the record, but the way I ate the crackers was different to the official way. Some guys from the Guiness Book of records were wandering around merry hill a few weeks ago, challenging people to do all of the Big Brother World Records. They had two referees with them & a video camera and everything, so it was the 'real deal'. I also got The 3D Gamemaker today - It's a total laugh - kind of like Klik 'n' Play in 3D!!! Speaking of childhood snacks, does anyone remember Spangles ... ;)
BattleM@n
UK - Tue Nov 20 18:35:55 2001
53 seconds, BUT - gunk on teeth. Is this OK?
Powerhouse
Wales - Tue Nov 20 16:33:28 2001
Tangy Toms! That's what I meant earlier. "Push 'em against yo' teef!" - that's they're new slogan.
Right 1st time practice for the Space Raider challenge. No warm ups. Just jump straight in............
1 MINUTE 4 SECONDS! Shit! That's harder than it looks.

Powerhouse
Wales - Tue Nov 20 15:35:07 2001
Tangy Toms - LOL

I like those "Fish 'n' Chips" things.
Russ
UK - Tue Nov 20 15:19:22 2001
See my breasts at http://breasts.8m.net
Hot Slut
Jordan - Tue Nov 20 14:46:30 2001
I remember those big cans! Love wham bars! I also loved scampi and lemon crisps!! Wheres that gorgeous Jacqui??? She hasn't been online in ages. If your out there please reply to my messages on icq! I love the red hair looks well sexy! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Loser
uk - Tue Nov 20 14:11:45 2001
What I got was the red mill snackbox which had 12 of each:

transformasnacks, onion rings, cheesy nibbles and the daddy of all corn snacks tangy toms. It probably worked out at 6p a pack. It is like going back in time because the pepsi max was 14p a can and the twix was 19p a bar.

I think that the resealable bottles of coke rang the death knell for the massive can.
kevin
uk - Tue Nov 20 10:45:47 2001
Guys, check these out

http://www.global-trance.co.uk/Space_Raiders.html

http://www.williamyule.co.uk/crisps.html

http://www.global-trance.co.uk/Space_Raiders.html

:)

Does anyone know when Grand theft Auto3 will be out for the PC?
Russ
UK - Tue Nov 20 08:12:15 2001
I am still pissed and would like to congratulate the inferior lizard on his abiliy to have so many commas in his earlier message.

I'll kick his almost extinct arse in any Space Raider challange.

Goodnight

Tree Crocodile la la la, Tree Crocodile la la, la la,
Tree Crocodile
Boro - Tue Nov 20 05:06:49 2001
I am very very drunk and I think that everyone should know that a new version of Kick Off 2 is due out very soon. This was without doubt the best ever game to ever grace the Amiga. The new game is called Kick Off 2002 and the PC version is only a fucking tenner. There is also a website devoted to Kick Off 2 but I dont know if I am allowed to post its address as people may think I am spamming.
Tree Crocodile
Boro - Tue Nov 20 04:43:15 2001
Having read the comments and views made by this Komodo character I have decided that I will no longer be known as Mr Majika (one of the best 80's kids tv shows) but I will now like to known as "Tree Crocodile"!
Mr Majika
Boro - Tue Nov 20 04:31:42 2001
I really must object to 10p Space Raiders being confused with the inferior Space Invaders. The Space Invaders make your tongue turn blue, that would never happen with the originals.

Space Raiders are "The Style Council (early stuff)" of crisps (corn snacks)!



Mr Majika
Boro - Tue Nov 20 04:26:46 2001
Imagine if you could buy a space invader as big as a cadillac. They would probably result in the fall of the human race.
Scrabble Winner
- Tue Nov 20 01:47:57 2001
Oh! The ghey scrabble loser is writing in pink!

Buy some space invaders while u r in ASDA....
Lisa
- Tue Nov 20 01:38:37 2001
I've VERY VERY temped to drive to the 24hour asda at the metrocenter to obtain snacks, but i'm scared that because its late and dark and i live in the Newcastle projects something will go wrong with the car and i'll end up killed. BUT the lure of those snacks and a cold pepsi is very tempting.
craigix
- Tue Nov 20 01:30:43 2001
Yeah, that's true... going back to how small primary school kids chairs are.... I was teaching some tiny kids a while ago, but cos I wasn't like in the teacher gang I didn't know where the staff toilets were, so I had to go use in the infants ones... it was soooo weird, my knees were like tucked under my armpits... not an experience I want to repeat.
I used to really like Space Raiders, but like recently when I've had them they've been all cardboardy, and with hardly any flavour...... still what do you expect for 10p?
GRAIL
- Tue Nov 20 00:48:44 2001
Late night garages in Wales don't sell Space Raiders :-(
I'm starving now.
Powerhouse
Wales - Tue Nov 20 00:28:08 2001
I won the scrabble game! I can't believe this! Men are such sore losers, I beat Craig by about 10/20 points and he has resorted to lying to cope with his failing ego.

Well FINE. Be a baby. I know I am the WINNER, and u r the LOSER.
Lisa WINNER
Champgate - Tue Nov 20 00:17:45 2001
Salt n vinegar walkers lites Challenge......the list so far

1. Lisa
2. Craigix (loser)
Lisa
- Tue Nov 20 00:13:58 2001
Space Raiders Salt and Vinegar! I must try them!
craig
- Mon Nov 19 23:56:21 2001
http://www.murdens.co.uk/top_ten.html

Here's the page.....dumbass
Soggster
UK - Mon Nov 19 23:44:28 2001
I have found that the following webpage from an independant snack wholesale
outfit gives a good insight into up to the minute snack treat trends. With top
ten selling product lines. You may notice that in the Non-walkers snack section
that Space Raiders appear 3 times in the top 10, confirming some of the views
stated on this page. Even so I'd would take the list with a pinch of salt
because Prawn Flavour Skips make an appearance, and to be quite honest
they're wank.
Soggster
uk - Mon Nov 19 23:43:13 2001
http://www.unitedbiscuits.com/Vsn11/index.html are the people who make them, but their crisps page seems to be broken.
craig
- Mon Nov 19 22:40:40 2001
went searching on the net to see if i could find information on space raiders. found a brilliant website. check out the loner who leaves a message saying he doesn't like space raiders:
The brilliant list
http://www.geocities.com/televisioncity/set/9002/geobook.html

also found this:
space raiders page
www.geocities.com/area51/9597/

komodox

Komodo Dragon
guiseley - Mon Nov 19 22:28:30 2001
low fat salt and vinegar lites would be a breach of the rules lisa. sorry. maybe you could organise a separate competition for people like yourself. on the subject of whether you would like space raiders, i must reassure you that you will love them. if you have an addictive personality maybe you should steer clear. can be dangerous.
komodox
Komodo Dragon
guiseley - Mon Nov 19 22:16:26 2001
Crackers are healthier too. I like marmite on mine.
Lisa
- Mon Nov 19 22:01:59 2001
On the subject of eating speeds, has anyone tried the 3 cream crackers thing? I think it was featured in big brother once, its extreamly hard to do it at any decent speed at all. Seems really wrong when it happens.
craig
- Mon Nov 19 21:51:20 2001
I would enter the competition, to prove that girls can choke on crisps an well as any man.... but I have never tried space invaders and I may hate them. Plus I will get fat.

Would it work if I used low fat salt and vinegar walker lites?
Lisa
- Mon Nov 19 20:53:28 2001
Space Raider Challenge......the list so far
1. Komodo Dragon (record holder - 43 seconds)
2. Powerhouse

More competitors urged to join the list (copy and paste this and add your name). time and location yet to be arranged.
Komodo Dragon
guiseley - Mon Nov 19 19:51:59 2001
Powerhouse, the competition normally works using the individually timed system. This adds to the length and suspense of the contest. As each competitor takes the challenge, the others can encourage him (or her, although i have yet to see a female take the challenge) to go faster. the other challengers can also shout out useful pieces of advice to the competitor such as 'chew faster' and 'go on, swallow'. You are right to question the rules of the contet though and perhaps some people will find it bizarre that people who are competing against eachother, also encourage their space raider challenge opponents. the example i would use is snooker, and in particular, the formation of a 147 break. although the players are ultimately competing against eachother, it is recognised that they can not make an impact on their opponents score (as opposed to basic contact sports such as football) and so if, for example, a 147 break was acheived, the opponent would be the first to congratulate the player. at the end of the day, fast times in 'space raider challenge' result in more exciting competitions, which ultimatley will attract more people to the sport. all of this will help the long term aim of getting the 'space raider challenge' passed as an olympic event by the year 2016. beer is also involved in the sport.
with regard to your query concerning a competition, i will happily accept your offer. once i have a list of 10 people or more, maybe we can decide on a convenient location and time. hopefully records will tumble.
keep it real and keep training for the 'space raider challenge'.
komodox
Komodo Dragon
guiseley - Mon Nov 19 19:48:44 2001
Oh! Iain Lee was great in that history of gaming program he did. I'll tune in next time.
Powerhouse
Wales - Mon Nov 19 19:26:44 2001
Komodo Dragon, will you be organising a competition soon? I would certainly be interested in competing. Does everybody start at once in a mass stuffing orgy type way? Or is it the nerve-jangling individually timed technique that is used to find the winner? I am on a diet, so I will skip tea tonight in order to get into practice.
Powerhouse
Wales - Mon Nov 19 19:19:54 2001
Actually, it's the thingy that replaced Bits. It doesn't really matter though, 'cause it totally sucks ass and will be off-air soon! Really cheezy and horrible. They've tried to make it all "hip 'n' happening with da kidz". It's got that American bird and Iain Lee. Iain Lee - funny(ish), american bird - still pants!
BattleM@n
UK - Mon Nov 19 19:15:22 2001
I believe that space raiders are 4p each at costco. Kev could confirm this as e bought a huge box of them. I think.
craig
- Mon Nov 19 18:54:21 2001
hello. i am a big fan of space raider crisps. i held the prestiged title of quickest consumption of a bag of space raiders (beef) at my university. it took me 43 seconds. there were rumours that someone else at the university could devour a bag quicker than 43 seconds but i believe this to only be paper talk. however if you know that person, or if you are that person, leave a message and maybe we can settle the score once and for all. 'the space raider challenge' is a difficult one and takes a lot of intense training. anyone who can do under a minute is in pretty impressive form. there are varying tactics that can be used - many people make the mistake of stuffing too many crisps into their mouth at once. THIS IS A MISTAKE AND WILL RESULT IN DRAMATIC LOSS IN PERFORMANCE TIME. a more effective method is to have the crisps entering the mouth at a steady pace so that an equal chewing rhythm can be maintained throughout. any other queries, do not be afraid to ask and i will do my best to answer them.
as far as i know, difference in flavour makes little difference to performance time, although i am looking to experiment in this area in the coming months. if you would like to take part in future experimentaion, all applications will be considered.
komodo x
Komodo Dragon
guiseley - Mon Nov 19 18:52:16 2001
You're complaining about a can of pop costing a pound? You obviously don't live in London....
green fairy dot com
- Mon Nov 19 18:47:34 2001
Have you checked the sell by date on these packets of Space Raiders?

Some (but not all) cheap crisps (mainly corn snacks) taste stale and out of date anyway.
Mr Majika
Boro - Mon Nov 19 18:10:39 2001
Those 20P space raiders are spicy flavour - they sell them in my local supermarket. Also I still see the tomato and the cheese flavour ones too. Space raiders are quite nice. Anyone remember those pizza crisps? Cheese and tomato flavour? shaped like pizza wedges?
Good point about the buf fair btw. Used to cost 16p when I was a kid. Now, it's about 80p. Yet 10p crisps are still 10p. Chocolate bars a re a rip off these days. Something like 45p for a turkish delight. I rememeber them being about 20p. I remember twixes when they were 15p! *I am turning into my bloody Dad!!* There'll come a day when mars bars will be a quid each.
Most expensive can of pop I saw was £1.50. In the heatwave a few years back. I remember those panda pops cans for about 15p a can. They wouldn't let me in the school hall once cos my Panda pop was shandy flavour. They said it had alcohol content! Idiots.
Russ
UK - Mon Nov 19 06:39:22 2001
The only thing I can really say against Space Raiders is that I dont think that they do the cheese or spicy tomato(my favourite) flavours anymore.

Also a year or so ago they brought out Super Space Raiders. This was a much bigger packet and cost 20p. I can't remember what flavour they were though.
Mr Majika
Boro - Mon Nov 19 03:38:59 2001
I think that a good comparison for the 5p and 10p crisps is school bus fair prices. Now, when I first went to school it was 5p for a child, i believe now its more like 40p for a child, so Space Raiders certainly would appear to be an excellent deal, likewise a can of pop was about 16p and now is close to a quid if you use those bastard vending machines or 45p ish from a shop, has anyone seen them for over a quid? The machine at the high force waterfall was 1 pound a can.
craigixx
- Mon Nov 19 02:16:54 2001
Best band of the 80's? The Style Council (early stuff)
Mr Majika
Boro - Mon Nov 19 02:03:57 2001
We were the best band of the 80's in many teenaged girls eyes, who are now in their 30's. When will I, will I be famous... again. I'm an actor now i think, or is it a record producer.
craig (from bros)
- Mon Nov 19 01:23:25 2001
Lots of things were bigger in the Eighties...
Hair for example was huge, as was makeup for men, Bros, Jocky Wilson, and even my erections. My mums tumor however, was much smaller...
PearlNecklace
UK - Mon Nov 19 00:30:41 2001
Hey You Guys!
Sloth
One-eyed Willie's Boat - Mon Nov 19 00:08:32 2001
Are you guys getting the 'Supercans' mixed up in some sort of
Watney's Red Barrel/Party Seven type alcoholic haze. Now they
were mighty big cans, but how the heck did you open them without
some sort of Beer shampoo incident. Didn't they eventually see
sense and attach some sort of tap device to them?
Soggster
UK - Sun Nov 18 23:48:42 2001
I think the big cans were called "supercans".

Going back to Space Raiders. They have always been 10p, so were we being ripped of years ago or are we getting a good deal now?
Mr Majika
- Sun Nov 18 17:37:36 2001
hold on, rewind a minute, battlem@n, am i correct in this thought that that thumbbandit thing is whats replaced vids? is this outragious alligation true?

And the Big cans... I have one, i'm going to take some retro photos.
craig
- Sun Nov 18 01:18:56 2001
That's really weird. I looked at my little computer clock and read it as ten to ten. I thought "Cor, I'm really knackered. But it'll do me good to have an early night". Then I came on here and saw the time of the last post was 23.15 or something and chuckled to myself because Craig's script was obviously broken. Then I thought about it, checked my clock again and it's nearly midnight. I've been doing stuff all night too, but for ten minutes I really thought I was in a different time zone. I don't know. Goodnight all.
Powerhouse
Wales - Sat Nov 17 23:59:42 2001
Thats true, but I swear that cadbury cream eggs have got smaller.....
Lisa
- Sat Nov 17 23:15:02 2001
Maybe you were just 50% smaller in the 80's.

Have you ever been into an infants school now you're all grown up. The chairs
are scarily small in an Umpa-Lumpa type way.
Soggster
Uk - Sat Nov 17 22:48:19 2001
What happened to those over sized cans from the 80's? They were about 50% bigger than a regular can, remember? You never see those anymore.
craig
- Sat Nov 17 21:30:07 2001
Tell you what novelty 'sweet remix' type thing I really miss - Tropical Pepsi. Shouldn't have worked, but bloody well did. The strawberry flavour they tried out at the same time weren't too shabby either.
boki
- Sat Nov 17 20:54:50 2001
I prefer those 10p refreshers with the fizzy stuff inside. Remember those sweet peanuts?
Russ
UK - Sat Nov 17 19:42:32 2001
10p Wham and Gorgon chewy bars. These were garaunteed to remove your fillings.
Mr Majika
Boro - Sat Nov 17 17:53:30 2001
Did anyone watch AssBandits ... sorry ThumbBandits on CH4 last night?
BattleM@n
UK - Sat Nov 17 11:51:42 2001
a href = "http://abcnews.go.com/sections/entertainment/DailyNews/rambo011113.html"> Bollocks
Rambo2
Afghanistan - Sat Nov 17 05:03:13 2001
I will personally kick the taliban's a href = "http://abcnews.go.com/sections/entertainment/DailyNews/rambo011113.html"> butt! \a>
Rambo
Afghanistan - Sat Nov 17 05:02:26 2001
YES!!! Tab clear! I loved that stuff. I remember trillions. Rememebr that powered stuff you put in your mouth that made your saliva turn to foam?? It all popped everwhere. Also: Snap and crackles when they were 5p each. those 1/2 penny sweets - Mojos. My mate buys them in wholesale. Huge box full of them for a fiver. Does anyone remember those green and white stripped sweets - Pacers? Ringos + cola cubes. *Sniff* getting nostaligic over my childhood for a change
Russ
UK - Sat Nov 17 04:33:10 2001
TAB clear, and the lesser known Pepsi Crystal.
craig
- Sat Nov 17 03:37:35 2001
Anyone remember little tiny sweets called 'Trillions'? I seem to think they were pretty cool 'cos you could fire them out between your teeth into peoples hair. And what about that drink 'Quattro'. I'm not surprised that disappeared, it had a kind of cat's piss aroma aftertaste. A bit like Lilt actually.
plant
uk - Sat Nov 17 01:01:21 2001
Yes, you can still get Nerds....and Dweebs...and Gobstoppers.

They (who are they?) advertise them on the side of Red lorries.

Did anyone ever try Super Space Dust. Now that was a snack treat for the
brave. Nuggets of some anhydrous calcium compound, which on contact with your
saliva would react with such force, that they could on occasion draw blood.
Only the truly insane would try the above with a gob full of Coke.
Soggster
UK - Sat Nov 17 00:19:32 2001
Can you still get nerds (et al)?
craig
- Fri Nov 16 21:45:20 2001
hose piglets, yeah, thats what i mean when i said bears. Those add-your-own salt crisps were much loved by kids who liked a bit of interactivity in the days before these bastard computer machines.
craig
- Fri Nov 16 20:31:24 2001
Has anyone tried the disgusting chocolate sugar puffs? Yuck :-|

yeah - I remember those piglets and Ghostbusters.
Russ
UK - Fri Nov 16 20:08:05 2001
What about those Smiths crisps where you added your own salt. What the bloody
heck was that all about, will they sell uncooked potato next, self cook crisps?
Do Smiths still make crisps, I hope not, fancy selling unsalted Salted snack treats
its just not cricket.

Here's a picture of my girlfriends bearded clam if anybody is interested.

Ffffwwwwwhoooooaaaaar!

http://www.cheesy-p.demon.co.uk/pics/bclam.jpg
Soggster
Uk - Fri Nov 16 19:50:33 2001
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_439191.html?menu= - how's that for looking like a cunt?
boki
- Fri Nov 16 18:01:17 2001
Seabrookes used to manufacture a sweetcorn flavoured crisp, I never ever got to try one. Did anyone else ever try them if so what did they taste of? (i bet they didnt taste anything like sweetcorn)
Mr Majika
Boro - Fri Nov 16 17:06:33 2001
Can you still get chocolate flavour? And NOT gaylord style chocolate flavour.
craig
- Fri Nov 16 15:16:04 2001
You know those multipacks that always one crummy flavour that you don't want? You think throw them out, but dammit I paid for those crisps. You try friends and relatives, but they don't want them either. In the end you think maybe I can add a little flavour, perhaps a bit of Lea and Perrins, and what happens? All goes straight to hell. Well I reckon there must be a ton of unwanted crisps out there- a repository for all these children of Satan, colluding and conspiring to antagonise us in this way. I figure maybe they're all being sent in those aid packages to Afghanistan (It's what I'd do). If you think about it, crisps are probably the cause of all our terrorist related ills. Perhaps they frustrate and contort otherwise sane minds, perhaps their innate evil is passed on when consumed. Whatever, I suggest we act now. Buy ready salted ONLY - to secure our continued peaceful existence. Thankyou.

Mr Walker
Walkers Crisps Plc. - Fri Nov 16 14:44:19 2001
Best crisp flavour ever has to be Spunk.
OK, no one *actually* manufactured them - I kinda made them myself with Smiths Salt 'n' Shake, and a liberal smattering of man fat.
But they tasted fucking deee-lish! Try some!
Gaylord
Blackpool - Fri Nov 16 13:32:42 2001

Guess the theme tune- 80s childrens classic:

Dooo Doo Do-Do-Dooo Doo Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do Dooo
Do-Do-Do Do-Do Do-Do Do-Doo Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Doo-Do
Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Doo-Do Do-Do-Do-Do Do-Do Dooo
Rod Jane and Freddy 4eva
Rainbowland - Fri Nov 16 12:36:56 2001
Anyone remember Ghostbuster crisps? They were fantastic!
legs akimbo
England - Fri Nov 16 11:06:52 2001
Hang on a minute, I've never known a vagina that smells like a packet of Scampi Fries!
Powerhouse
Wales - Fri Nov 16 10:20:26 2001
Today I shall mostly be buying crisps.
Powerhouse
Wales - Fri Nov 16 08:32:33 2001
I don't remember Thundercats, but they sound very similar to Piglets. Piglets were so small & delicate that it was a real treat to find a whole one. But they were hugely unsatisfying. Tom Toms are still five pee, and they are perfect 'push against the teeth' fodder for when you're feeling down.

Have you seen Jeepers Creepers? You wouldn't be doing any creeping around caves if you had.
Powerhouse
Wales - Fri Nov 16 08:14:05 2001
Obscure crisps- Kung Fu's (mid 1970's), Farmer Browns(mid 80's, had a good tv advert too), Twisters (havent seen them for years)
Mr Majica
Boro - Fri Nov 16 03:21:18 2001
I was wondering how long it would take for someone to mention the Nik-Naks vagina thing. Its all so true. However, i was told a while ago you can't get the scampi and lemon flavour anymore. I rememebr those hollow thunder cats ones, what a scam. How about the 5p a packet ones with bears(?) on the front. Surely the economics of this can't work, how can they stay 5p all this time? And in america i don't think they have crisps, well not like we do, they do have those dipper chips. How can they cope?
craig
- Fri Nov 16 02:43:34 2001
Those nik Naks were popular once upon a time, but I don't like them no more.

hand up who remembers:

Football crazies
thundercat crisps
Snaps
tomato or beef flavour wotsits.
Squares - with the little bag of salt in them?

Who can remember more obscure crisps? Ah - another one: odduns.
Russ
UK - Fri Nov 16 02:31:47 2001
I thought scampi flavour crisps were invented for sad blokes who can't get girlfriends so they can pretend they can to their friends (if they have any)
plant
uk - Fri Nov 16 01:37:43 2001
Anyone tried those Firecracker Chicken flavour MCoy's? They are the wikkidness for sure!
boki
- Fri Nov 16 00:21:39 2001
Without doubt Space Raiders are the daddies. How quickly can anyone eat a packet without a drink?
Mr Majika
Boro - Thu Nov 15 22:08:04 2001
Foulest flavour ever has to be salt and vinegar- I mean, combining rock residue extracted from the sea with the waste product of fermented grapes? Do they really expect people to like this crap with their sliced potato snacks?
Elton Welsby
England - Thu Nov 15 18:03:37 2001
Most Minging flavour has to be Scampi and Lemon flavour Nik-Naks.

I live near Golden Wonder factory and once went for an interview in the Labs
and the bloke showing me round said that Nik-Naks were discoverd because
the Chipstiks Machine had a fault and threw out a skip load of these nobbly
buggers....Good lord I'm really rather dull.
Soggster
UK - Thu Nov 15 16:38:42 2001
I'm a pickled onion monster munch kinda girl. I just wish they would include toothpick in the packet, monster munch is a serious mouth clogger. Maybe they could be adapted into some kind of weapon, and then dropped on the taliban.
Lisa
- Thu Nov 15 10:46:40 2001
That's very true. The quality of beef crisps in this country has just gone unmercifully downhill since they replaced the scrumptious beef Monster Munch with the minging Hot n Spicy flavour, or whatever the hell it is.
green fairy dot com
- Thu Nov 15 10:40:26 2001
You don't get beef flavoured crisps like you used too. Space raider ones are yummy. I glanced at thre daily mail and it said something about our army going to far when it comes to beating up the Taliban's guys (I may be wrong). It pissed me off so I didn't buy the paper. Anyway, when i got home someone had alread bought it so *Runs downstairs to pick up the copy* here goes:

headline: NO MERCY

byline: "On historic day, Kabul falls without a fight and Kandahur could be next. But this horrific picture begs the question: Is the alliance any better than the taliban?"
Shows some dead dude with his pants down. Stripped of his dignity, dead.


Like I said, I bought 3 packs of space raiders instead.
Russ
UK - Thu Nov 15 07:40:08 2001
If thats true, the dailymail bit, i'm REALLY pissed off i didn't get it today. Beef space raiders? Are you mad? The only true flavour is pickled onion. Although i can't understand the economics of them still being 10p
craig
- Thu Nov 15 01:45:36 2001
Don't tell me Barrymore had another party.
Not Religious Nut
UK - Thu Nov 15 01:28:54 2001
Cack as usual?! It was a picture of a dead guy, covered in blood with his trousers around his ankles. Hardly a "usual" Mail front page.
Though usually the paper is the most evil pile of manipulative shite going.
Powerhouse
Wales - Thu Nov 15 00:57:08 2001
I haven't read the papers since Monday. I noticed the headline of the Daily Mail. Something cack as usual. Bought 3 packs of beef space raiders instead.
Russ
UK - Thu Nov 15 00:36:37 2001
awww i thought it had the site back to 1996 but it does not :( it starts in 1998 and i have most of that archived already. Oh well.
craig
- Wed Nov 14 23:26:51 2001
I am surprised about the lack of internet banter regarding the American plane crash. Accident or sabotage? Freak of nature or divine intervention from Allah? Place your bets, or maybe you are all bored of America?

Did anyone read The Mirror today! The front page was disgusting, it will give me nightmares.......
Lisa
- Wed Nov 14 23:26:23 2001
Oh yeah, the URL http://www.archive.org/index.html
Arnold
Witham (I am on a bus) - Wed Nov 14 00:38:44 2001
This site is weird. You can see versions of any website including this one going back to 1996. But strange to think some organization has stored everything. Time to visit any controversial sites previously shut down? It's time travel.
Arnold Nerdello
Braintree - Wed Nov 14 00:37:50 2001
Sacked daytime presenter? hhmm, wouldn't be Kelly brook would it? ;)
Russ
UK - Tue Nov 13 23:10:25 2001
why am i always the last to know when the page is broken?
craig
- Tue Nov 13 22:15:17 2001
Well, I had an offer of sex from a subsequently sacked daytime TV celebrity, and my mam owns Ivor Novello's ear syringe AND... is that a design revamp on the main page?
Powerhouse
Wales - Tue Nov 13 21:10:36 2001
I'd just like to point out again, i once drove past tom baker and my dad knew Jimmy Nail AND child serial killer mary bell. OK, those are shit claims to fame.
craig
- Tue Nov 13 20:11:31 2001
So he goes round bragging what a talented, rich son he has...then goes and nicks those cack little sachets of Tomato sauce?? Says it all really.

Back in 97, I was working in a nightclub (still am) and Beckham came in with Andy Cole. He was sitting down, legs sprawled everywhere and I asked him politely to move them so I could get passed (I had loads of glasses under my arms). The prick ignored me so I trod all over his ankles. LOL - I didn't know who he was at the time. England's manager and had I of been 20 stone, I could of ruined his career.

Russ
UK - Tue Nov 13 19:40:58 2001
Darren Days dad is a convicted paedophile.. He drinks at a pub I used to prequest (its a drama students/gay/drag pub) called the Oak in Saling near Braintree in essex.. He used to think he was the big man cus his son was Darren Day.. Then he got barred from the pub when convicted but was eventually let back in.. Then he was barred again for stealing the sachets of tomato sauce you get with your meal in the pub. (I only used to go there as I was seeing a drama student from the nearby Braintree college)..

Oh, and have I ever told you about the time I crashed my car and COULD of had Alan Sugar in my car?? Quite a funny story..
Fat Uncle Mark
- Tue Nov 13 17:01:54 2001
http://www.dynamic-living.com/bottom_buddy.htm
Darren Day
Ooh my life! - Tue Nov 13 16:47:50 2001
Look like Barrymore won't be commiting suicide after all...
pathetic to give him endless chances when there are other far more talented performers looking for a chance...

like Darren Day for example ;)
Russ
UK - Tue Nov 13 12:39:45 2001
BOTTY-More! hahaha..erm
Powerhouse
Wales - Tue Nov 13 00:41:48 2001
Battymoor more like.
craig
- Mon Nov 12 22:41:02 2001
Awight?
barrymoor
- Mon Nov 12 22:24:25 2001
...and Tony Blair will be doing a comedy routine from his nuclear bunker with John Prescott and Michael Barrymore
Russ
UK - Mon Nov 12 20:36:02 2001
I heard Saddam might be making a cameo too
craig
- Mon Nov 12 20:33:39 2001
I have to say that this Sequal to September 11th is nowhere near as good as the original its as if the whole thing was a bad accident - if they had used the original director, bin laden, it might have been better - however it was nice to see American Airlines returning once more with a staring role and I understand this is the second part in a trilogy with rumours that the 3rd installment will involve nuclear weapons and possibly be set in Afghanistan.

benny
- Mon Nov 12 17:55:12 2001
2 words.... BLACK PUDDING. Put it on pizza and they're bound to eat it. Savages.
GRAIL
- Mon Nov 12 03:05:28 2001
it was goat porn what she found guvnor. although i think i saw her goto sheepshagging or something, which was a UK warez site of all things! sheepsex i think was the spoof sheep porn site, you do get to click on a sheeps ass
craig
- Mon Nov 12 01:15:29 2001
SHEEP PORN!!! What's the URL?
mr welsh
wales - Sun Nov 11 01:48:52 2001
I wasn't looking at goat porn! It was sheep.
Lisa
- Sat Nov 10 23:53:40 2001
Oh, I wanted to seeh the USA remake of Red Dwarf, although I was put off when I heard they had to remove the H from Rimmers forehead. Apparently the American Viewers couldn't understand why he had a goal post on his head. Had to replace it with a red spot or something, I dunno.

Off to see Harry Potter today! I am soooo excited!
Lisa
- Sat Nov 10 12:14:35 2001
Talking of UK/USA remakes, I downloaded 'Red Dwarf USA' off Morpheus the other day. It wasn't half as shite as I was expecting it to be. It was actually even funny (in places). Does anyone know what this thing is nowadays with remakes anyway... you didn't get them in the 80's I'm sure. Couldn't imagine 'The Dukes of Hazzard' set in Liverpool or Manchester could you. Or do they only like to fuck up what loosely and laughingly get called 'sitcoms'.
plant
uk - Sat Nov 10 10:58:31 2001
What I don't understand is why didn't they just show the brilliant american original? But no... that ends up on channel5 where i'll admit its proved quite popular but not enough for people to appreciate its brilliance... although some cable stations seem to depend on it showing it upto 6 times a day.
craig
- Sat Nov 10 01:52:10 2001
If I might butt in, yes, Days Like These is one of the most embarrasing TV failures of all time, undergoing a spectacular plummetting in scheduling. It is in the league of 'Orrible and even Brighton Belles. However, Brian Conley is in 70s nostalgia tripe The Grimleys, with the Angelic Amanda Holden. Her morals are so loose even I would be in with a chance. If you are reading Amanda...
Religious Nut
UK - Sat Nov 10 00:46:19 2001
Craig, that Brit remake of That 70s Show - is it that fucking Days Like These thing with Brian Conley in it? I've never seen it, but I think it started on prime time and gradually got bumped down the schedules as less and less people bother. It must have been really shit to have got bumped from a 'People Who Sit Slumped In Front Of the Telly on A Saturday Evening And Will Pretty Much Any Old Shit We Sling At 'em' slot, eh?
boki
- Fri Nov 9 23:55:20 2001
I had an exam at uni this morning - but that pic in the paper of Prince "wanker" Charles getting slapped with the Rose cheered me up.

Now, why can't someone do the same to the Queen Mother? Now THAT would be HILARIOUS!!
Russ
UK - Fri Nov 9 18:31:46 2001
Would you pay £12.80 for an @fuck.it email address?
www.fuck.it
Powerhouse
Wales - Fri Nov 9 15:05:22 2001
Nice to see british rail or whatever its called now is keeping up its well known quality standards.
craig
- Thu Nov 8 16:09:38 2001
I'd actually rather win a car, or a round the world holiday. But I'll settle for whatever I can get.

We have almost three inches of snow! It is great. If I hadn't just spent 9 1/2 hours travelling from Reading to Durham, I'd be out there throwing snowballs at little old ladies. I hate the train service, they bloody well cancelled my train and I was stranded with a bunch of homeless men at Reading Station, for 2 hours!!! Then more delays, so missed my connection. Another wait, more delays, etc etc.

But, then there was the most comical traffic accident I've ever seen. A romoval van had lost control on the snowy bank near Durham train station. It missed the bend and went through a brick wall, there was a path a few metres beneath the wall, then a house. The cabin of the van hit the house and it ended up being totally wedged, pivoting on the van axle. Like a little van bridge, I have no idea how they will get it out. I saw lots of people taking photos, so will attempt tp find pic. You have to see it. But I hope no one was hurt.....
Lisa
- Thu Nov 8 15:39:18 2001
Did you know that Rolf drinks his own piss?
Russ
UK - Wed Nov 7 23:49:34 2001
What a magnificent turnout for this the last ever game of "Name That Tune". In a change to normal procedings, we have four prizes to be awarded.

Religious Nut, you win "peck on cheek" for your animal antics.
Russ, you win "big sloppy kiss" for spotting bearded Aussie Rolf Harries.

As you must surely realise by now, the tune to be named is the theme to BBC's early evening tearjerking classic "Animal Hospital", correctly identified by Lisa.

Lisa, you win "sexual favour from person of your choice".

Craig, you win "wet fish slap" for suggesting Doctor Who.

Goodnight!
Powerhouse
Wales - Wed Nov 7 23:38:02 2001
really its doctor who, look at it and think of the theme tune. Even if its not, it IS.
craig
- Wed Nov 7 22:29:26 2001
I am going with animals too. Oh dear, not again...
Religious Nut
UK - Wed Nov 7 22:20:29 2001
Is it doctor who?
craig
- Wed Nov 7 21:10:10 2001
I think it is something to do with animals, like pet rescue or animal hospital.

Lisa
- Wed Nov 7 15:14:51 2001
or Knots landing?
Russ
UK - Wed Nov 7 13:15:06 2001
Anything to do with Rolf harris?
Russ
UK - Wed Nov 7 13:14:28 2001
Nope. That first WAAAH! is a real humdinger of a note.
Powerhouse
Wales - Wed Nov 7 10:32:30 2001
Wouldn't be touch of frost would it? That's the only TV prog I can think that uses sax.
Russ
UK - Wed Nov 7 09:58:58 2001
Hardi-har! My mam calls it Casuality. She also wanted me to tape a film for her the other week - "The Unusual Suspects"!
Casualty is incorrect.
Powerhouse
Wales - Wed Nov 7 09:20:10 2001
It's gotta be Casuality. Whoa Mister at the start of programme, dont climb up that ladder... old lady, dont leave your chip pan unattended to feed the cat etc. How is anybody still alive in Holby, apart from the D list celebs who get to guest on it. Here is a question, what has the least famous guest celebs, the above, the Bill, An Audience With (whoever) or Celebrity Squares from 1985 on Challenge TV. At least you can play "Guess Who Is Dead" with the last one.

Religious Nut
UK - Wed Nov 7 00:29:00 2001
This is your last chance for "Name That Tune" glory:

wadaddida-WAAAAH Waaah Wah! dadiddada-Daaaah Daaah Dah!
wadaddodi daa-dah, dadi daa-dah, dodi doo-dah, dum-didla.

CLUE: Recent TV theme, sax.
Powerhouse
Wales - Tue Nov 6 23:51:53 2001
But hang on, i'm totally straight, meaning everyone who posts is the same. Ha.
craig
- Tue Nov 6 18:21:55 2001
Ohhh get you.
craig
- Tue Nov 6 18:21:04 2001
i have no idea what this site is about and whoever writes in here is as gay as the creator of this site.
scratch
slovenia - Tue Nov 6 15:18:41 2001
now i didn't want to post this on the main page, but your all hard enough in here, do you think this woman www.veronica-moser.com (check the preview bit) has a mental disorder? (Serious content warning) She really takes the 'Do anything' to the extreme.
craig
- Tue Nov 6 02:14:11 2001
Giving it some thought, I guess the idea of Hell seems a bit horrible really. I dont think we are in it now. I think now is like when you think you wake up from a dream, but you are actually still dreaming. When we really wake up it might be like in the Matrix. Or it might be back to that card game when I slipped into a Strongbow-coma. I am not fully convinced I ever came round. I thought I woke up with the cards still in my hands the next morning, but who knows?
Religious Nut
UK - Tue Nov 6 01:14:14 2001
Powerhouse is the name of one of the large gay nightclubs in Newcastle, I will always associate you with gayness if you choose to name yourself after it. I don't think you are gay....?? It will be ok I suppose if you avoid Geordies. Run a Armpit renaming competition, the winner gets taken for a ride in Craigs pink car.......

I am in Reading today and surrounded by Southerners. It is so weird, people aren't as friendly here and I feel intimidated. Why aren't you friendly? Whats wrong with you all? Maybe they don't like my Durham University t-shirt and think I am a northern commoner :-(
Lisa
Scared in Reading - Mon Nov 5 11:38:54 2001
Craig, that SW trailor you linked to was a fan-made one. nevertheless, it looked damn impressive :)
Russ
UK - Mon Nov 5 05:48:20 2001
What do YOU think hell is, Religious nut? I think we're in it already. Well if you are born in Afghanistan anyway. Probably the most religious people in the world have shit lives. What's all this fasting bollocks anyway?
Russ
UK - Mon Nov 5 04:34:41 2001
If hell was a bottomless pit that would be SO cool, because it would be like you were flying all the time, you could do crazy stunts and such. Brilliant.
craig
- Mon Nov 5 01:26:08 2001
Nutty Boy you a winnah! You win 'big sloppy kiss'.
Powerhouse
Wales - Mon Nov 5 01:09:09 2001
My main site is www.freezone.co.uk/bc1
The tune is Steptoe and Son
I am the One True Nut
Religious Nut
UK - Mon Nov 5 00:36:42 2001
Back to the religious nut enigma, has anyone visited his page lately? I'm sure he once posted it, maybe it would explain everything. But trying to find it amoungst several thousand posts would be a challenge indeed.
craig
- Mon Nov 5 00:26:54 2001
Sorry to be doing this "posting lots of crap" thing again, but I'm sure I have got some sort of spiritual link going on with CRothwell. Evidence:
1. Last week Craig bought his first pair of shoes in seven or so years. On the SAME day I bought my first pair of shoes in five years.
2. Craig is going to buy a pink car on Tuesday. On Tuesday I am going with my girlfriend to buy: A PINK CAR!!! (a Shitroen AX mind, not a bloody cadillac)
3. I am also in love with Lisa.....
Powerhouse (maybe)
Wales - Sun Nov 4 23:04:30 2001
Bah! I downloaded Opera, and it immediately crashed on this page!!
It's not Johnny Briggs, but the instrumentation and 'feel' of the tune is fairly similar, I suppose. What the hell is Gruey?!
Is it considered a "bad thing" to change your nickname on pages like this? ARMPIT is a shit name, and I want to call myself PowerHouse.
Advice Please!
ARMPIT
Wales - Sun Nov 4 22:27:19 2001
I liked Johny Briggs. Quality kid's TV. Better than Gruey (Gruey twoey anyone?) or Bad Boyes (Bad Boyes had cool music though)
Russ
UK - Sun Nov 4 19:53:35 2001
Mutual batch execution, sounds like some kind of torture/death routine.

Annndddd is the tune Johnny Briggs? Famously repackaged as a 'new series' several years after it was broadcast, even to the extent of getting in the cast to say it was new, just trying to fool the kids, well it didn't work Phillip Schofield, do you hear me?
craig
- Sun Nov 4 17:49:42 2001
The answer to the "Name That Tune" quiz question is of course "Axel F" by Harold Faltermeyer, best known as the theme tune to hit film "Beverly Hills Cop" starring Eddie Murphy.

Consequently we have a rollover situation! Here's an easy one for you:

Rrrink dinky dinky-dink, rink dinky dinky-dink, rink dinky dinky-dink. Di-Dink Dink
(pah)Rrap pap paa-deedaah, rap pap paa-deedaah di-dap paap paaah! (Waa di-dap paaah)

You have 48hrs
CLUE: Classic UK sitcom.
ARMPIT
Wales - Sun Nov 4 01:05:08 2001
Yeah well like i said after giving that person who joked about cancer a breezeblock enema,remove said offending object ,wack em acoss the head and they WILL have Aneima.
moog
bin ladens throne - Sat Nov 3 20:06:41 2001
Anyone seen fight club lately? ;-)

Hey Craig, Do you know anything about batch processing, deadlock or mutual exclusion? I am studying the insides of operating systems at Uni and it's a bit hard going at times. :/
Russ
UK - Sat Nov 3 15:31:07 2001
(everyone who posts here is on one room, all seated and standing around) and craig says:
Indeed mark, however the suspicion in my eyes lies on you, since both those messages were posted within moments of each other, leading me to one conclusion, you are both one and the same! (next scene should be: mark confesses, end credits).
Craig
- Sat Nov 3 14:03:56 2001
He's an imposter I'm the real religious nut!
Religious Nut
UK - Sat Nov 3 10:19:54 2001
I have split into several dimensions and can only spare one for this room.
Religious Nut
UK - Sat Nov 3 01:42:41 2001
So Religious Nut, my arch nemesis, we meet again. Or do we? I have a sneaky suspicion that this nut did not fall from the same tree. The old RN was verbose in the extreme, whereas this person calling himself Religious Nut is uncharacteristically terse. Methinks we have an imposter!
Mark
Scotland - Sat Nov 3 01:39:11 2001
You've reached rock bottom now
Religious Nut
UK - Fri Nov 2 21:51:57 2001
My Arse!
Jim Royale
Sofa - Fri Nov 2 16:26:51 2001
Me amt peety an me dad poke me up tr bum wif tr pinc mows amt peety lik it from peety
Peety
Leeds - Fri Nov 2 09:38:10 2001
I don't know if I could do that to a girl. My barber tells me how he gives it to his girlfriend up her arse all the time, but I ain't interested. Anyone hear of the story of the melted aero bar?


Russ (again)
UK - Fri Nov 2 01:03:41 2001
no, i drempt of taking a girl up the arse.
Interesting coincidence.
craig
- Fri Nov 2 00:39:06 2001
Do u dream of someone taking u up the arse aswell?
Lisa
- Thu Nov 1 23:47:34 2001
Now I can help you there.
craig
- Thu Nov 1 23:35:10 2001
No, I am not in a mood! I just have an anal fixation....
Lisa
- Thu Nov 1 23:28:34 2001
BBBRRRRRR> Chilly here tonight :-/
Russ
UK - Thu Nov 1 23:17:21 2001
hehe readers, i think lisa is in a mood with me.
craig
- Thu Nov 1 22:53:54 2001
Stick it up ya arse!
Lisa
- Thu Nov 1 22:45:46 2001
OK, your pardoned.
craig
- Thu Nov 1 21:49:55 2001
Pardon me?
Lisa
- Thu Nov 1 21:08:34 2001
Yes.
Craig
- Thu Nov 1 15:43:55 2001
Is it me....or is Craig really talking about his penis?
Bunt Cunny
Knaw - Thu Nov 1 07:39:32 2001
PS I am gonna apply for a job in a Ann Summers shop! LOL
Lisa
- Wed Oct 31 23:42:07 2001
Everyday is a weekend day.... The cadillac was nice, but parking would be a nightmare, and people would assume Craig was gay while driving a pink car. Although Craig does seem to like pink generally. I liked the Mustang the best, it was so shiny, even the chrome engine! Yey!
Lisa
- Wed Oct 31 23:30:50 2001
It will be a really long weekend, with it being wednesday and all. You must try the fresh donuts they have there.
craig
- Wed Oct 31 21:33:19 2001
I'm off to Whitby in North Yorkshire for a long weekend. Does anyone want any fish?
plant
uk - Wed Oct 31 20:06:23 2001
I would go with Howard Jones. Ooer, not in the Biblical sense mind...
Religious Nut
UK - Wed Oct 31 19:29:41 2001
Hi People, I thought I'd best appologise for not being around it's just I'm very busy at the moment! I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Love you all!!!
Jacqui
UK - Wed Oct 31 18:54:57 2001
Either Giorgio Moroder, Howard Jones or Human League?
Russ
UK - Wed Oct 31 16:42:15 2001
In my haste I sang that wrong. It should go:

Daw Daw Daw dudoo-do-do Daw Daw Daw dudoo-do-do Da Da Doop padoopadoop Pa-Paa

CLUE: 80's Synth
Answer on Sunday.

ARMPIT
Wales - Wed Oct 31 10:25:32 2001
I am a multidimensional being of light. With a hangover.
Religious Nut
UK - Wed Oct 31 01:59:44 2001
Yep! I've also used up three weeks worth of posting quota in just over an hour...
My willy is big enough for me not to be worried about "getting it out", so that can't be the reason for my hypercontinence.
ARMPIT
Wales - Wed Oct 31 00:51:30 2001
You must be very bored.....
Lisa
- Wed Oct 31 00:44:31 2001
Who wants a game of "Name That Tune"?
I'll go first:

Daw Daw Daw do-do-do-do Daw Daw Daw do-do-do-do Da Da Doop padoopadoop Pa-Paa

CLUE: 80's synth
ARMPIT
Wales - Wed Oct 31 00:43:20 2001
How big is it though? Men and women have different concepts of size. 8 inches to a man is barely 4 inches to a woman. And don't believe anything a woman says to you when you ask her about the size of your willy..... We realise that men have delicate ego's and respond accordingly.

I still think condoms are only 4 inches long.
Lisa
- Wed Oct 31 00:32:07 2001
Haxored - You're Outta Here!
ARMPIT
Wales - Wed Oct 31 00:03:24 2001
By the way, I haven't got a small willy.
Also, what religion is Religious Nut nutty about?
ARMPIT
Wales - Tue Oct 30 23:46:36 2001
Gertcha!
Why is it impossible to have a wee next to another man in a urinal? On Saturday I was standing next to a bloke who had the same problem, and it got a bit uncomfortable after a while - lots of "ahem"ing and rocking from heel to toe in an attempt to squeeze it out. Once the trickle starts though, it flows with ease. I usually try to head straight for the cubicle.

I am pleased to read a castle adventure. More Please!

I am also pleased to witness the return of Religious Nut. A legend from the golden age of Rant Back.

Did anybody see the beautiful Liza Tarbuck tonight? I missed it and I'm very upset. She used to 'get me up' every morning on the Big Breakfast .... if you Know What I Mean!!! Goodnight all.
ARMPIT
Wales - Tue Oct 30 23:44:41 2001
A girl came upto my mate and said: 'Give me 10inches and make me scream!', so he shagged her twice and punched her in the face.....
Lisa
- Tue Oct 30 22:19:29 2001
Maybe it's the Queen Mother fucking about with you, Craig ;-)
Russ
UK - Tue Oct 30 21:37:13 2001
That complaint seems to be dodgy, as I make sure I answer every email within 2 days. AND I never bill a credit card until I post the goods. Which makes it all rather suspect. I'll look into it anyway, and things do get lost (stolen) in the post, although everything is insured so it can be claimed for. Odd that hes not emailed me, is there a name with it?
Craig
- Tue Oct 30 20:01:43 2001
LOL - My old bud, Religious nut has made a return!

I have bought a few CDs from Craig 2 years back and had NO probs at all.
Russ
UK - Tue Oct 30 18:11:37 2001
Taken from the GBADEV mailing list 30th Oct 2001 05:16:46:

Start ------------->

Does anyone know of a RELIABLE source from which to buy a Flash Linker in
the UK?

I ask as I ordered one from a bunch of con-artists who go by the name of
"cdworld.co.uk" almost a fortnight ago. Despite their promises of 24hour
delivery and several emails enquiring as to what's going on NOTHING has
arrived yet (not even the courtesy of a reply to an email).

I THOROUGHLY recommend you not doing business with these people!!!!

Ho hum, off to see trading standards tomorrow....


TTFN - Pete.

--------- End

Hmmm. Might want to do something about this eh Craig?
GBADEV
UK - Tue Oct 30 09:57:31 2001
That's right, I am not an hilarious imaginary character. But I just wanted to warn you, dont download multiple MP3 tracks from Morpheus. It is stealing. Wahay!
Camilla Parker Bowels
Buck House - Tue Oct 30 02:52:08 2001
And dont think my multiple spelling errors indicate I am drunk. Religious nuts dont get drunk. OK?
Religious Nut
UK - Tue Oct 30 02:49:26 2001
I have been here for the last year observing you all. I think you have to accept my restraint has been admirable. But now you start to mention ICD-10 personality disorder diagnoses. I am a Psychiatrist. I cannot allow you to bring the evil alchemy of Psychiatry down. Either cease or I will resume maing iritating comments and pretending to be assorted naughty characters. You know, like on that film Good Morning Vietnam where the bad DJ pretended to be Frenchy. Not that Robin Williams was any good. I havent been drinking. Did you know 3 litrs of cider is 2.99 at Texaco? Neither did I.
Religious Nut
UK - Tue Oct 30 02:45:30 2001
I'm in the East Midlands, but didn't notice the earthquake because I was at karate training at the time - great timing, eh? :(
boki
- Mon Oct 29 19:03:35 2001
I thought everyone had seen the web site about furtniture porn.....
LIsa
- Mon Oct 29 12:36:50 2001
Of course.
ARMPIT
Wales - Mon Oct 29 01:21:44 2001
Has anyone considered the possiblilty of sex with household furniture?
craig
- Mon Oct 29 01:09:57 2001
its taken me ages to read all the posts was that bored u all sound mad i know its a bit old but scored 36% on the bastard test and 63% on the bitch test and i too have a facination with holes
cardiffguy
wales - Sun Oct 28 22:24:19 2001
and if you did that i'd turn it off. mwhahaha
craig
- Sat Oct 27 23:32:11 2001
I can sabotage your page like this.....


and this....







and this....



muh hahahaha





:-)
Lisa
- Sat Oct 27 23:19:44 2001
However, you can just press return

like

this

and it will let you.
craigixixix
- Sat Oct 27 16:02:19 2001
Yes I did that a long time ago. Because someone decided to abuse it.

I slept for 10 hours.
craig
- Sat Oct 27 16:01:43 2001
Oooh craig got clever and removed html usage!!!!
HTML Test
UK - Sat Oct 27 13:51:33 2001
HTML> B>HELLO /B> BR> /HTML>
HTML Test
UK - Sat Oct 27 13:50:24 2001
Shit br> br> :-/
Russ
UK - Sat Oct 27 08:53:21 2001
**Looks at results and runs away**
Russ
UK - Sat Oct 27 08:51:26 2001
I am an Idealist: 'Idealist types search for their unique identity, hunger for deep and meaningful relationships, wish for a little romance each day, trust their intuitive feelings implicitly......' Bollocks to that!
Lisa
- Fri Oct 26 17:27:43 2001
I'm a humourless, distant loner. Stay away from me. :-(( br>Mind you, that does explain why I'm sitting in this office all on my own. Maybe I should be getting myself one of those high flying city jobs full of women in tight tops and short skirts. br>But then I wouldn't be able to wank at the desk...
ARMPIT
Wales - Fri Oct 26 09:57:16 2001
I am Schizotypal: Many believe that schizotypal personality disorder represents mild schizophrenia. The disorder is characterized by odd forms of thinking and perceiving, and individuals with this disorder often seek isolation from others. They sometimes believe to have extra sensory ability or that unrelated events relate to them in some important way. They generally engage in eccentric behavior and have difficulty concentrating for long periods of time. Their speech is often over elaborate and difficult to follow.
Craigixixixix
- Fri Oct 26 02:21:33 2001
I'm Sad. SAD SAD SAD. Rating
Disorder
Paranoid:Low
Schizoid:Low
Schizotypal:Low
Antisocial:Moderate
Borderline:Low
Histrionic:Moderate
Narcissistic:High
Avoidant:Low
Dependent:Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:High

-- ClickHere To Take The Test--


GRAIL
- Fri Oct 26 02:12:34 2001
Has anyone been on the IRC server for swingers?? It is a meatmarket!!!
Lisa
- Fri Oct 26 00:26:47 2001
Helo me amt peety agin agin wair amt the girl frend fone me amt wait an my mum on the fone for it ring wit the girl frend for me an i am sayvin my poo an wee an not haveng it in the shower with my dad who makes my bum hert wit mowsy gaym plees fone peety tewday i amt finger my howl from peety
peety
leeds - Thu Oct 25 23:44:51 2001
Baisez-vous tκte de shit. Fuck Sie Scheiίekopf. Fuck voi testa dello shit. Fuck le pista de la mierda.
Gristle
Scotia - Thu Oct 25 23:38:32 2001
nuqDaq 'oH puchpa''e'
General Martok
Deep Space Nine - Thu Oct 25 21:59:02 2001
Wel, dwi'n dymuno fod PAWB ddim yn sβl! Nos da!
ARMPIT
Wales - Thu Oct 25 00:30:48 2001
Actually I now believe it to say: Lisa, i hope you are not unwell.

- Thu Oct 25 00:16:09 2001
I think it says: Lisa, you are not an idiot.
Craig
- Wed Oct 24 22:08:17 2001
I dunno if that is good enough!!!
Lisa
- Wed Oct 24 20:59:40 2001
Con speranza Lisa non si arrabbierθ? Well, putting it into a translator brought up the following... Con = With... Speranza = Hope... Lisa = Lisa (Obviously)... Non = Not... and I can't find any reference anywhere for 'Arrabbierθ'. So I think it translates as 'With hope Lisa not (arrabbierθ)'.What's the prize? Is it dirty?
plant
uk - Wed Oct 24 19:01:46 2001
POKE 42138,11POKE 56876,4POKE 59900,255POKE 59901,82POKE 60231,0Phew!
Jetset Willy
The Attic - Wed Oct 24 18:10:06 2001
Does anyone speak Italian? What is this supposed to mean? Theres a prize for the person who translates it!! I think it is partly made up: Con speranza Lisa non si arrabbierθ
Lisa
- Wed Oct 24 17:33:35 2001
Whoa - that jump looks high to me! Get that fucking penguin out the way.
Miner Willy
The cold room - Wed Oct 24 17:18:50 2001
Craig, fix your porno vid pics, I miss not seeing Butt Banged Bicycle Babes!
green fairy dot com
- Wed Oct 24 09:12:52 2001
I'll roll him down the nearest hill with water at the bottom. And i'll make sure he does not have the snorkel.
craig
- Wed Oct 24 01:05:40 2001
That cunt, dizzy has nicked my walkman. If you see him, give him a beating for me. Cunt!
Dylan
Treehouse village - Tue Oct 23 20:36:53 2001
I think u should open the letter a) because I am nosey b) because the optician could be a terrorist and wants to contact her partner who is posing as doctor and c) they could be having an affair and what better way to fool the doctors wife and staff, than using patients.......
Lisa
- Tue Oct 23 17:19:18 2001
I'd like to apply to become a homosexual, please.
green fairy dot com
- Tue Oct 23 01:01:55 2001
Karaoke challenge, I cannot think of a worse Tv show ever. In fact I would rather watch that muthafucking bollywood piece of fucking shit. The classy people on display........and that past it fuck with the tight pants from bread.Anyway should the coalition not be thinking about waiting until ramadan until invading afghanistan if they are fasting they will all be too hungry to fight.
benny
uk - Tue Oct 23 01:01:54 2001
Who here is gay?
Quentine Crisp
UK - Tue Oct 23 00:33:16 2001
We must perform a quirkafleeg
Miner Willy
UK - Tue Oct 23 00:31:48 2001
Awwww and I love you too Craig me ol' pal!!!
Jacqui
UK - Mon Oct 22 07:36:02 2001
http://www.milksucks.com
green fairy dot com
- Sun Oct 21 18:22:39 2001
help! br>http://www.geocities.com/operationmayhem/deadman.jpg
Deadman
No man's land - Sun Oct 21 15:06:32 2001
AAAIIEEEE!! Bastard Mexican food. I've got an arse like the Japanese flag!
ARMPIT
Wales - Sun Oct 21 14:50:57 2001
is it me or is there more crack addicts than ever in here now?
craig
- Sat Oct 20 00:28:32 2001
Helo i amt peety agin am watin for the girl frend to fone me am my mum an my dad will anser fone for girl frend to poke my bum ar ship wen i am pooing an i am buton my shert myself not pooing on the cufs srory mum from peety
peety
leeds - Fri Oct 19 13:16:48 2001
yeah, blue writing on a blue background.... nice touch, Craig
GRAIL
- Fri Oct 19 00:38:03 2001
did anyone watch that thing on Ch 4 early about body shapes or something.... ANYWAY that bloody tart Anna Edwards was on... she the skank who dances (I use that word in the loosest possible sense) on Challenge TV's Karaoke Challenge. Eww. Now she like wants to be a star in Bollywood, except that she's blatently white, not asian. Idiot.
GRAIL
- Fri Oct 19 00:23:22 2001
It's ENEMA.....for a minute I thought you were talking about breezeblock anaemia, and I wondered what sort of torturous device that could be, then I sadly realised, just torturous spelling.
green fairy dot com
- Thu Oct 18 18:43:22 2001
Helo my nam is peety my mum ses that i am speshel i can ti my shoos and werk at remplloy with stamp leter i like to put chip in my bum i am looking for a girl frend who will put ship in my bum i am brown her with shave am etye to so carl me but my mum am there thank yoo peety
peety
leeds - Thu Oct 18 18:30:58 2001
Website of the week: http://www.pegged.co.uk/
BattleM@n
UK - Thu Oct 18 16:57:03 2001
christ your all so psychoanalytic.
Hanus.
Cleft - Thu Oct 18 01:19:46 2001
Adding coke and pepsi will proberbly increase the level of tooth decay....And whoever was making a joke out of cancer SHUT THE FUCK UP or perpare to recieve a breezeblock aneima.
Moog
- Thu Oct 18 01:05:31 2001
Adding coke and persi will proberbly increase the level of tooth decay....And whoever was making a joke out of cancer SHUT THE FUCK UP or perpare to recieve a breezeblock aneima.
Moog
- Thu Oct 18 01:04:59 2001
MINCING???
Lisa
- Thu Oct 18 00:05:24 2001
Possibly. He does a lot of mincing.
ARMPIT
Wales - Wed Oct 17 17:11:40 2001
Are Billy and your mate gay lovers?
Lisa
- Wed Oct 17 16:14:07 2001
My mate lives in the SAME HOUSE as hunky spunk Billy from Neighbours. BEAT THAT!
ARMPIT
Wales - Wed Oct 17 00:45:36 2001
hey... have you ever thought about what might happen if you mixed pepsi and coke...
craig
- Tue Oct 16 23:18:10 2001
what what whats wrong with the index page?
craig
- Tue Oct 16 22:51:37 2001
Hey, fancy-ass new index page, Craig!
boki
- Tue Oct 16 22:03:07 2001
LOL - he actually starred in the "bollywood" version of Superman last year!
Russ
UK - Tue Oct 16 21:29:38 2001
What is it with that crazy black superman pic? lol its everywhere online right now.
craig
- Tue Oct 16 19:56:38 2001
I see they found a replacement for me... br>http://www.uglypeople.com/uglymen/ugly-images/up-men-00274.jpg
Christopher Reeve
USA - Tue Oct 16 17:17:20 2001
Speaking of Americans: http://www.conservativelyspeaking.com/article1016.html
Dan
M1 - Tue Oct 16 13:05:19 2001
You can come visit my place. Bring your own gasmasks. America IS the biggest country in the world. It's full of the biggest cunts anyway :/
Freddy
Florida - Mon Oct 15 22:17:38 2001
It means that you have contracted Anthrax.Have you open any strange envelopes recently?
Dr Nick Riviera
Mexico - Mon Oct 15 09:19:24 2001
Depends where you've been putting your hands recently.
Lisa
- Sun Oct 14 22:56:15 2001
My palms are itching...so you think it means anything?
Tokyo Jon
UK - America's best friend (Thanks a fucking bunch Tony) Go to www.gogotokyo.co.uk - Sun Oct 14 22:17:08 2001
Ooooh... don't get me started on Twin Peaks.
plant
uk - Sat Oct 13 12:41:37 2001
fuck off, I'm stuffed!
Mr. Creosote
A restaurant near you - Sat Oct 13 12:34:20 2001
Go on, M Creasote, zey are waffeur feen...
boki
- Sat Oct 13 12:08:03 2001
One in three people will suffer/be effected by cancer. Sometimes we have to laugh or we would shrivel up and die. Like a slug in a salt bowl. Life is crap. Hahahahahahaha *sob*
Muffin the bloody mule
USA - Sat Oct 13 01:27:24 2001
No! Fuck off!
Mr Creosote
UK - Sat Oct 13 01:05:45 2001
Hahahahaa.Just 6 days to go.Hehehehe. Soon my friends, soon.... (more tomorrow)
Nobby Styles
UK - Sat Oct 13 00:59:01 2001
Is it me, or does pink seem just like brown?
ARMPIT
Wales - Sat Oct 13 00:42:06 2001
it gets stranger and stranger in here... like twin peaks.
craig
- Sat Oct 13 00:29:27 2001
Hey I look pretty in pink!
Jacqui
UK - Sat Oct 13 00:04:59 2001
Hey!!!! My mum has cancer, and I find it offensive that you're taking the piss out of such a serious condition. People like you have no idea what it is like to suffer from this deeply depressing, painfull, and often terminal condition. It destroys lives, splits families, causes pain, suffering, and has devestating consequences for everyone concerned.My mum has suffered the indignity (twice) of losing her hair, and having to wear a wig - have you any idea what that is like for a divorced woman in her early forties?The doctors have told her that that there is nothing more that they can do for her. I will lose my mum to cancer within the next six months!!!!And little shits like you joke about cancer like it's nothing.You fucking make me sick!!!!!Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and wank myself off over her tumors while she's asleep.
PearlNecklace
UK - Fri Oct 12 22:50:14 2001
Hmmmmm......Reminds me of the time that mother had cancer of the arsehole...
Gaylord
Pakistan - Fri Oct 12 22:12:34 2001
nothing

- Fri Oct 12 19:05:12 2001
hello i am aqua man. <
lalalallala :)
X - Fri Oct 12 19:04:29 2001
NOW IN COLOUR.
craig
uk - Fri Oct 12 19:03:09 2001
Someone emailed me and asked me to put it up, the same person emailed loads of sites, and it eventually got on the reg then into the sun newspaper i believe. i dunno who was behind it to start with.
cragg
- Fri Oct 12 14:49:41 2001
Cragg: Was it you who asked evryone to write Jedi knight in the census "What religion are you" question? http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/newsid_1589000/1589133.stm Hope the link works
Russ
UK - Fri Oct 12 12:05:20 2001
Tony Petty is working under the guidance of Sam "The man with the plan" Hamman in an effort to bring down the evil Jack empire, thus allowing the mighty Bluebirds to soar. Hardi-har-har!
ARMPIT
Wales - Fri Oct 12 11:28:42 2001
Who is Tony Petty?
Lisa
- Fri Oct 12 00:23:54 2001
Yes, is Scaremongering. I'm trying to convince Craig with my Chicken Licken parable. There is a book called Skyfall, where half of America is wiped out by nuclear satellite, lots of FBI drama etc. I can find no such story on FBI website..... Craig says was there earlier though. Maybe they removed it because of the Chicken Licken parable, they suddenly relised the moral of the story. SHUT THE HELL UP TILL U KNOW WHAT U R TALKING ABOUT, OR THE CRAP WILL FLY! :-)
Lisa
- Fri Oct 12 00:22:54 2001
What's all this anthrax stuff? let's get down to the real important stuff like: What is happening with Swansea City football club? It Tony Petty a complete twat or not?Distracted yet? You may appreciate it if the 13th scaremongering is true!
Steve the Welsh exile
United Kingdom - Fri Oct 12 00:12:02 2001
London will get bombed? It's used to it now. Hope they bomb Peckham as it's the biggest shit hole you could see. They would do London a favour by bombing some of the outskirts. Get rid of East Ham too. They have Bin Liner supporters over there. Bastards.
Russ
UK - Thu Oct 11 18:25:46 2001
Yeah yeah, it's Birmingham, it's London, I've heard them all. It's not like living in London I'm not used to bombs and terrorist scares already. Nobody here cares anymore.
green fairy dot com
- Thu Oct 11 15:48:08 2001
True,but in order for all the urban myths/warnings to come true, there won't be anyone left to laugh at us. (nervous laugh)
Jonny
Still London - Thu Oct 11 07:46:15 2001
Same thing was said to a friend of my mum except that this time it was Chester, and the guy who said it had an Irish accent. Now aren't we all going to look stupid when they all blow up at the weekend.
plant
uk - Thu Oct 11 07:39:11 2001
Oh my god! I just moved right into the City of London! Shit! Oh shit! Help me!!!....oh wait, no that's right, it's bollocks! I heard exactly the same thing down here, only it was Birmingham the friend of a friend was supposed to stay out of. Maybe it's just a way to get prejudices out in the open. Oh, oin case London does get bombe, nuked, diseased on Sat just wanted to say that Craig's site is fab, and his WOS CDs kept me happy in my short life. BYe everyone!!!
Jonny
LONDON!! AAJJJ!!! - Thu Oct 11 07:06:49 2001
Its probably that Lord Mayors show or something.. I remember when I was a kid my mum dragged me up there to watch it and I had the 'ahem' pleasure of meeting Philip Scholfield and Barbara 'Oooo Saucy' Windsor.....I rest my case...
Fat Uncle Mark
Blah - Wed Oct 10 23:42:44 2001
Now thats cool. Place your bets now, what, if anything, will happen?
craig
- Wed Oct 10 22:02:47 2001
A friend of mine told me a story about her friend who stays down in London: She was walking along a street when she noticed that the man walking in front of her had dropped his wallet. She picked it up, noting it was full of money, and caught up with the man and gave him his wallet back. He thanked her for her honesty and she said it was okay, but he went on, ‘No, I’m really grateful. In fact I’ll give you some advice. Make sure you’re not in London on the 13th.’ Then the man walked off. My friend’s friend was shocked at this and reported it to the police, but of course there was nothing they could do. All I was told about the man was that he was a foreigner, but what nationality I don’t know. It’s probably nothing, more likely he was just a tight bastard who pretended he was giving her some life saving information instead of some money for returning his wallet. Still, if this guy really was genuine, I wouldn’t want to be in London this Saturday.
Mark
Scaremongering Scotland - Wed Oct 10 22:01:16 2001
Everything will be in blue while I alter the script.

- Wed Oct 10 19:32:04 2001
This is a test
craig
- Wed Oct 10 19:31:26 2001

craig
- Wed Oct 10 19:29:19 2001
I think you English would find it hilarious if I asked my suicidal pilots to crash into Buckingham palace and the place in Scotland where the Queen Mum lives. I'll give you English a good turn and kill your royal family, then maybe you will join us against America... HAHAHAHAHA!! >-D
Bin laden
Taliban - Wed Oct 10 18:57:07 2001
Why aren't people signing up for her to die earlier..... With all this terrorist worry, someone could crash a blimp into Buckingham Palace and wipe out the royal family? Or put Antrax in her soup. Its all very worrying :-(
A very clever woman
- Wed Oct 10 17:36:45 2001
Just finished my first can of self-heating Coffee - Fucking great!!! I can't wait to see how long it is before one of the cans kills a ten year old 'cause it's parents didn't care about the child smashing the casing open with a hammer. I think about three months. Ooh and about four months before someones insides burn due to a faulty seal!
BattleM@n
UK - Wed Oct 10 17:18:28 2001
Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists has beenoperating in Merseyside, Liverpool. Police advised earlier today that 3 of the 4 have been detained.

The Merseyside Regional Police Commissioner stated that theterrorists Bin Sleepin, Bin Drinkin and Bin Fightin have been arrested onimmigration issues.

The Police advise further that they can find no one fitting thedescription of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, in the area.Police are confident that anyone who looks like Workin will be veryeasy to spot in the community.


Lisa
- Wed Oct 10 15:58:16 2001
Whats the point in doing that saddo? IF you are gonna mess up the page then at least own up and give a reason.

W A N K E R

Everyone else is great though, apart from you. And Bin Lad et al. And my external examiner.
Lisa
- Wed Oct 10 15:51:38 2001
Hmm.... something seems not quite right....

Anyway, if you're as mixed up about religion as me, or as bored as the *EXPLETIVE DELETED* who decided to bugger up the page, then go here. It'll help you discover to whom you should be praying.
ARMPIT
Wishy-washy Unitarian Universalist Wales - Wed Oct 10 13:59:24 2001
Craigobot - I'll just disable java and all html next time. oh, and the script had a line that said (c) the king. Oh dear, the royals are after me.
hahahaha
- Wed Oct 10 13:20:21 2001
Blimey it'll be up and down more times than Prince Charles trying to get on his horse.
Russ
UK - Wed Oct 10 00:56:43 2001
If no one has the day it will be the closest, and if the queen mother looks like she will be dying (ie in hospital) I may suspend things to make it fair. In fact thats the rules, if she goes into hospital it gets suspended, when she comes out its back up again.

- Tue Oct 9 21:27:17 2001
And another thing....... iS there going to be a rush of entries once the "The Queen Mother is close to death, palace officials have announced" type news reports start coming out? I notice Grail is not entered, hmmm, myabe I see the error of my way is jumping right in there.
ARMPIT
Wales - Tue Oct 9 14:52:13 2001
With the deathday thing.....do we count as winners if she snuffs it on a day closest to our guess, or does it have to be on the exact day we chose?
green fairy dot com
- Tue Oct 9 14:00:23 2001
I am ALWAYS here, just not that often.
craig
- Mon Oct 8 20:23:02 2001
I ended 4 bars too early.... CRAIG MAN.... you're never here any more....
GRAIL
- Mon Oct 8 15:47:51 2001
Watch the simms have sex: http://www.megagames.com/toolbox/files.cgi?33780&s&pc&E&&&&
Russ
UK - Sun Oct 7 19:20:46 2001
True, but living in that mansion of hers, she won't feel the cold as the old dears do on those sink estates. The old hag will stay in bed all day and ask her servants to bring her some mulligatawny.
Fucking old crone.
Russ
UK - Sun Oct 7 18:57:55 2001
I say she will go sometime soon, the winter usually purges the earth of the weak so I am hoping the upcoming cold snap will finally finish her off.. Hence the reason I reckon it will be in January..
Fat Uncle Mark
England - Sun Oct 7 17:24:12 2001
As for what to do with Osama bin Laden:
Killing him will only create a martyr. Holding him prisoner will inspire his comrades to take hostages to demand his release. Therefore, I suggest we do neither. Let the Special Forces, Seals or whomever covertly capture him, fly him to an undisclosed hospital and have surgeons quickly perform a complete sex change operation. Then return her to afghanistan to live as a woman under the Taliban.
Coral
- Sun Oct 7 04:43:06 2001
My boss is a stupid, uneducated nigger
Coral
UK - Sun Oct 7 04:41:15 2001
I've told you before, Craig, the Queen Mother's immortal. She's never going to die and so the winner of the portable MP3 player is ... yourself.
Mark
Scotland - Sat Oct 6 00:49:18 2001
i miss shownomercy.........................................
chris
USA - Fri Oct 5 22:32:05 2001
So is anyone desperate enough for an MP3 player to hire an assassin to bump off the QM then? And the only horse racing game I remember on the Spectrum was Grand National by Elite, but as far as I know that's on the WOS CD so it's probably not it.
plant
uk - Fri Oct 5 18:41:30 2001
LOL Craig "Fall down the stairs" - You should seriously do one for Princess Margaret. "When's the next time she'll burn herself in the bath" or Eddy "When will ARDENT finally be shut down" etc I changed my vote to April 2002. I have a strong feeling about this one.
Russ
UK - Fri Oct 5 17:52:15 2001
Wasn't my fault!! I was helping Craig test it earlier, and skyrocketed out of control. Anyway, if she dies on 3rd August, then I win three MP3 players......

PS Is my b'day too.
Lisa M
- Fri Oct 5 15:15:04 2001
La la la .....God maul our gracious Queen.....send big dogs after her.... la la la la.
green fairy dot com
- Fri Oct 5 13:35:11 2001
A news blackout is being enforced in Afghanistan. Government sources blame it on the Tellyban.
Also, would it be terribly ungallant of me to point out that the only person to balls up the QM comp so far happens to be a lady? Not that that means anything of course...
ARMPIT
Wales - Fri Oct 5 13:32:23 2001
I'm thinking of adding the entire royal family to it, and a barrymoor suicide option.
craig
- Thu Oct 4 19:47:46 2001
Craig, Put me down for Aug 2002 for Queen Mothers death game. I KNOW I am right! :)Next - Prince Phillip - that old cunt is reaching 80 isn't he?
Russ
UK - Thu Oct 4 18:46:27 2001
yeah the way its going i'd not be suprised. I mean when i get in the car now the computer spends about 3 minutes booting up telling me various parts of the car are in a serious state of disrepair. But the only time i'll actually fix them is when i get in the car and it won't move. And the stress... oh.... don't start on that. *CALM*
craig
- Thu Oct 4 16:36:40 2001
I am going to write a "Guess the date Craig Rothwell dies" script. I bet I live longer ;)
The Queen Mother
Buckingham - Thu Oct 4 12:42:11 2001
why does it always come back to shit eating?
craig
- Wed Oct 3 20:36:50 2001
I'm a secret lemonade drinker
R White
- Wed Oct 3 14:51:41 2001
I have created a new meal. The shit burger. http://scathouse.com/rs/rainbow5/special.html
Ronald McDonald
USA - Wed Oct 3 02:00:32 2001
Jacqui, that is just plain wrong. Men don't fall asleep after sex because they're tired, they've just found something better to do.
Lardy Da.
The first syllable - Tue Oct 2 20:27:05 2001
'He helps the Afghans beat off the Russians', eh Craig? Well, Sly does look a bit on the homoerotic side in those films, but I wasn't expecting *that*
boki
- Tue Oct 2 19:38:27 2001
Men fall asleep because then they think the girl will to then they can run of more like!!
Jacqui
UK - Tue Oct 2 18:28:04 2001
that was strange.
craig
- Tue Oct 2 01:42:22 2001
Why is it that all men fall asleep after sex can anyone give me a answer instead of being told if there shit its the time to run off.Just no stamina!!!!!!And Craig stop rining my lil sister at all hours of the night u keep waking me up!!!!TART?
upforit22
england - Tue Oct 2 00:51:16 2001
I also heard the Irish police surrounded a department store today becaue they heard reports that there was Bed Linen on the 3rd floor..ho ho ho..
Fat Uncle Mark
Classified - Tue Oct 2 00:01:43 2001
yeah yeah i forgot i had to go and MOT, tax etc the car. I'll get it done later.
craig
- Mon Oct 1 15:20:35 2001
ho hum..... so bored at work...... if only........ if only somebody would create some sort of....... some sort of entertaining Queen Mother related compy......... then life would be better........ chance of winning CD thingy..... or sleep....... with unknown girls...... ho hum........
ARMPIT
Wales - Mon Oct 1 12:11:05 2001
Thats not latin!
craig
- Sun Sep 30 23:18:00 2001
You are, as we say in Latin, a "Dorcus Malorcus".
ARMPIT
Wales - Sun Sep 30 20:44:28 2001
I can promise you a little disappointment... and live up to it.
plant
uk - Sun Sep 30 18:34:21 2001
Libenter homines id quod volunt credunt
L
- Sun Sep 30 17:11:42 2001
Typical man.....promising big things but when it comes down to it all you get is a little disppointment....
green fairy dot com
- Sat Sep 29 15:11:17 2001
Is this the part where I say that I've been dreaming of shagging Craig? ;-) LOL Only joking, I know which side my bread is buttered and all that.
Steve the Welsh exile
United Kingdom - Sat Sep 29 08:10:10 2001
Yeah you lurkers need to all come out of the closet.

No... wait...
craig
- Sat Sep 29 02:58:22 2001
How's you been keeping Craig busy then Lisa!! He's been shagging me most of this week! Ohh shit that was in my dreams again!! Damn shame friends don't shag ain't it! But mates is all me and Craig are destined to be!
Jacqui
UK - Sat Sep 29 00:48:21 2001
Ok, I'm a lurker. Damn entertaining this guestbook is though! Much better than some of the bollocks you can read over the internet. Where is that Queen mother thingy? I still think she's a cyborg and will live for anohter 50 years. Why else does she have things like hips replaced?
Steve the Welsh exile
United Kingdom - Fri Sep 28 20:54:13 2001
Sorry......... I have been distracting Craig. I'm sure he'll get around to it soon.
Lisa
- Fri Sep 28 18:19:58 2001
Where's the goddamn death day script??
green fairy dot com
- Fri Sep 28 11:50:54 2001
I'm just luurkinI'm not bwuyinI'm just luurkinTum tum ti tryin
Bloke from the Stereophonics
Wales - Fri Sep 28 11:16:56 2001


- Fri Sep 28 09:50:08 2001
I secretly added a counter to this page a few days ago - its upto 1000 hits. Why do so many people read this but not post. You lurkers.
craig
- Thu Sep 27 17:26:41 2001
Twas only a matter of time: http://www.classicgaming.com/blackeyesoftware/games/osama.zip - Kill Bin Laden Game. Quite good too!
BattleM@n
UK - Thu Sep 27 16:01:36 2001
MMMMMMM rachel and monnica
benny
- Thu Sep 27 03:25:30 2001
Friends don't have sex!!!!
Jacqui
UK - Wed Sep 26 15:35:08 2001
One lump or twoooooooo?
green fairy dot com
- Wed Sep 26 14:09:26 2001
Just pour some sugar on meeeeee
craig
- Wed Sep 26 01:08:49 2001
Reports are coming in that the IRA have hijacked an airship over London. Apparently it has spent the last hour bouncing off the side of Canary Wharf...
erm...
Wales - Tue Sep 25 10:35:07 2001
that bloke who they suspect of the terrorist attck. bin laden. well he's been asked to go on ready steady cook. He made a big apple crumble in 5 mins!
ohh the americans are coming
not the USA - Tue Sep 25 00:32:18 2001
.....mostly. ;-)
green fairy dot com
- Mon Sep 24 18:48:51 2001
Thanks :)
Russ
UK - Mon Sep 24 15:16:56 2001
I know it's not correct - I questioned it as soon as someone sent it to me, but I stuck it up anyway to see how many people would be taken in by it after I got so annoyed that everyone's site had that terrible Nostradamus quote on it, all warped and taken out of context to suit the occasion. So far no-one on my site has picked up that it's not true!! (you must have more intelligent readers than I do...:-))
green fairy dot com
- Mon Sep 24 13:18:01 2001
6000 SUX - Because BIGGER is BETTER.
craig
- Mon Sep 24 03:49:50 2001
'I'd buy that for a dollar' is what the Cheesy Bloke (is he a game show host?) on the TV in Robocop says. And yes, it's a fucking great film.
plant
uk - Mon Sep 24 00:11:33 2001
Craig, I heard that WASN'T the flight number. Try the same font and type in NYC for similar eery results.
I hate the way the damn BBC chops up films. I remember tango and cash's voice over's "Airhead" instead of "Asshole" etc. and trading places, instead of "Fuck off" (when Pekes is on the telephone), just a "'K off". See you have LINUX, Craig. I am learning Oracle and UNIX at Uni very soon. They insist on doing lots of Java for the object orientated language when I'd rather do C++.

and finally, the Queen Mother will die August 31st 2002...
Russ
UK - Sun Sep 23 20:45:21 2001
Q33ny? Pffthttp://www.urbanlegends.com/ulz/wingdings.html
killjoy was here
killjoyania - Sun Sep 23 19:58:30 2001
Craig you know I wouldn't offer myself for that. You were only saying the other day how boring I was and how I should be more of a slapper to quote:"you should really be more slutty".I don't want the reputation! Your more then enough for me. I'm totally satisfied!
Jacqui
UK - Sun Sep 23 16:35:23 2001
Without a doubt it was the first showing of 'Robocop' on ITV,one of my fave films and I was in a state of total shock at what ITV did to it - I quote:

On the terrestrial channel ITV (UK), the board decided that the film should be shown to be suitable for children to watch in the daytime one afternoon. At the time the TV series had just been premiered for the first time so the board agreed to cut all violence to a minimum and also dub all of the bad language. As a result everytime someone got hit or killed in someway you hear the sound of the blow but you never saw anything as the scene was slowed down to a strobe effect. Also everytime the word '"F***ing" was said it was replaced by the word "Freakin'", other hilarious dubs used included: "Freakin' Airhead"-instead of F***ing A***hole, "Mother Crusher"-instead of Mother F***er, "Shoot"-instead of Sh*t and "Holy Geek"-instead of Holy Sh*t and other words starting with Holy. As a result of the cuts & dubs the channel recieved heavy complaints from people for turning the film into a comedy. When Robocop was shown again, about 7 months later they opted for the more later showing of 10pm and left all of the swearing untouched and most of the violence uncut.

Now thats pretty impressive ITV, but wait... anyone remember the FARCE that was die hard 3? They cut something like an HOUR out of it - even the new york chase scene. ohhh hang on... we won't be seeing that on TV for a long time will we.
craig
- Sun Sep 23 16:27:28 2001
Ooer! I've just finished watching 'Armegeddon' on DVD - Wonder if they'll try and re-release it as some kind of hacked up version? Can anyone think of the worst TV version of a film they've ever seen? I think that the BBC version of 'Beverly Hills Cop' was really bad - "Shut up you Mother Funker" - lol.
BattleM@n
UK - Sun Sep 23 15:51:57 2001
Yey. A whole dollar to myself!!! What should I spend it on?

I don't understand what u mean about Robocop. Explain please. :-)
Lisa
- Sun Sep 23 14:23:16 2001
Cheesy Bloke on the TV in Robocop?
plant
uk - Sun Sep 23 00:39:36 2001
I'd buy that for a dollar.
craig
- Sat Sep 22 23:03:30 2001
Well hey, can I have you BOTH?
craig
- Sat Sep 22 23:03:20 2001
Didn't mean B'day, meant Deathday.
L
- Sat Sep 22 16:11:11 2001
Yes Craig. I'll offer my body upto the winner of the Queen's B'day competition. I won't mind at all.......
Lisa
- Sat Sep 22 15:02:35 2001
It's got to be bright pink on lime green, perhaps with some zigzaggy lines behind. First to actually come up with text that makes you puke anyone?
plant
uk - Sat Sep 22 14:02:54 2001
I think faint yellow on white is the colour to go. Impossible to see and retina destroying but it looks cool.Wouldn't you agree?
JamesBurton
Scotland - Sat Sep 22 12:26:30 2001
The future is fuqqed good style since my outlook express has broken and i can't get to my emails. Arse. Here i come netscape messenger.

- Fri Sep 21 19:48:36 2001
No the future is bright the future's ORANGE!
Jacqui
Uk - Fri Sep 21 18:30:20 2001
Green is the colour of the future.
green fairy dot com
- Fri Sep 21 12:39:02 2001
Well I'm perfectly willing to write my rubbish here, but I fear people are getting sick of all the orange.
ARMPIT
Wales - Thu Sep 20 14:44:10 2001
God whys everyone so quiet!!!
Jacqui
UK - Thu Sep 20 13:12:39 2001
justtt shhaggggg everyone, shake those boobs.
craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaig
- Wed Sep 19 22:29:07 2001
And I thought my boobs were big! The look huge!! My ex bf begged me back last night I told him I need time to think! Which I do!
Jacqui
UK - Tue Sep 18 16:31:15 2001
Sorry to disappoint you (and all the others that have asked too!), but those tits are not mine. That girl is somewhat uh, larger than me all over.
green fairy dot com
- Tue Sep 18 15:49:18 2001
Don't pay friendsreunited - do what I do in your notes:
yourname
at
yourdomain
dot
com
It's got me two emails already! Woo! Anyway, nobody will have a better life than you Crothwell, you've got a merry band of followers who love you.
ARMPIT
Wales - Tue Sep 18 08:58:37 2001
Greenfairy is this really a pic of your boobs? Or what? hu?
craig
- Mon Sep 17 23:45:17 2001
It's not the size, it's what it tastes like.
plant
uk - Mon Sep 17 23:12:05 2001
Girth is more important than length. That's what I've always told myself anyway.
ARMPIT
Wales - Mon Sep 17 22:35:27 2001
Well I've got a fat and ugly cock... Will that do her?
plant
uk - Mon Sep 17 22:07:25 2001
It's the power of his fat and ugly wallet.
ARMPIT
Wales - Mon Sep 17 10:57:27 2001
Some people say "Why would danni minogue be shagging stelios?" Stelios says "why not", the power of positive thinking. No not ALL native americans were killed, if general custer had done a better job of doing so then maybe....
benny
uk - Mon Sep 17 10:41:58 2001
That's why you killed ALL native Americans when you first found the USA. Don't you know your history?
Russ
UK - Mon Sep 17 05:00:16 2001
craig your page is funny weird. but you are wrong america has never killed 'inocents'!
john c
usa - Mon Sep 17 04:32:22 2001
Is it true that that Stelios bloke is shagging Dannii Minogue then or what? If I'd known she wanted a fat ugly bloke she could have had me.
plant
uk - Sun Sep 16 17:18:37 2001
No, thats not how they are made...
Fat Uncle Mark
- Sun Sep 16 13:19:18 2001
Buggery very rarely leads to giving birth.. Unless thats how black babies are made??! I'll ask my mum later and report back with the details
Fart Uncle Mark
England - Sat Sep 15 07:50:09 2001
Benny? Aren't you that retard who used to be in Crossroads? Some of us Scots may beat our kids occasionally, but at least we don't bugger them and produce bastard offspring like you. Now come here, son. You deserve the proverbial Glasgow kiss for that last comment.
Mark
Surly Scorland - Sat Sep 15 01:30:59 2001
They are banning childbeating in scotland, surely the heartland of this activity I mean it's pretty much the national sport after all they aren't any good at anything else. Thats like banning bullfighting in spain, wearing strange pants in germany or terrorism in afghanistan. They'll have to find another event for the highland games.
benny
uk - Sat Sep 15 00:57:33 2001
they will probably need a couple of those to carry him away after america are finished with him.

Unless of course he has perfected his death ray.
craig
- Fri Sep 14 23:07:42 2001
Bin Laden.....Bin Liner....
green fairy dot com
- Fri Sep 14 21:27:08 2001
Yes, but do you squirt? If the worst comes to the worst, will any of you lot allow yourselves to be conscripted to fight the enemy? I think I would follow the advice of Iron Maiden and run to the hills.
ARMPIT
Wales - Fri Sep 14 11:32:48 2001
My ultimate goal in life is to able to focus my physical and mental abilities so that I can spontaneously orgasm, on a whim (ie on the bus, in a lecture, while in a meeting with the boss-man, during sex)......and to achieve world peace.
Lisa
UK - Fri Sep 14 11:23:58 2001
Penyslavia? Kinky! What, you've never had a wank in the shower? Go and have a go now, it's great, there's no "mop up" operation afterwards either. Make sure you don't lose your balance at the moment of impact though. Recommended venues also include: *On the sofa watching daytime TV *Looking out of the window at the view *Sitting on the carpet with a bare arse with your back up against the wall. *Work bogs. NOT recommended: The Bath. It goes all stringy in the bath, and clings to your body, only to be found all crusted up on your neck when going around Tescos.
And don't be so nasty mun mog.
ARMPIT
Wales - Fri Sep 14 10:58:23 2001
BTW: speaking of wanking. That scene in American beauty where Kevin Spacey is tugging away in the shower made me LOL. I have never done that myself. Feel stupid.
Russ
UK - Fri Sep 14 10:06:23 2001
LOL Mark.
Disgusting that those septic tanks would have an attack if it meant innocent casulties.
I have to agree that this site is refreshing. Even though I get ignired here most of the time, the people here seem more real. Fucking Asian and Crotian had a go at me cos I told them that if Indians are to live over here in the UK, then they should be gracious enough to learn our language. I see no harm in that. The fucking Greeks who work in my local chippy are as bad. Only one can speak English. WTF?
Anyhoo, you're right. I am going to bed now. When I get up, Sky news is being turned off. Craig, did you know that the US TV stations are losing a H-U-G-E amount of wedge cos they are no longer showing adverts? They are competing so fiercely now, there are no adds - and no revenue. There are whispers of bankruptcy!
Gotta love those Americans. Infact, I am emigrating to pennyslavia in about 5-6 years. True.
Russ
UK - Fri Sep 14 09:59:34 2001
I agree, green fairy dot.Unfortunatly ,youre are one of the 96% so why dont YOU kindly shutthefuckup.
mog
ragol - Fri Sep 14 05:50:27 2001
We in the UK really should apologise for slavery, just as soon as you apologise for eating captain cook you canibal bastards.
benny
uk - Fri Sep 14 03:06:48 2001
Gerry Adams you fucking potato picking amateur. After this attrocity you've got a cheek calling yourself a terrorist, you coulden't even manage to smash canary wharf let alone the TWIN TOWERS and the pentagon of all places. "most sophisticated terrorist organisation in the world" indeed, to beat this you would have to have the whole of britain in flames, the cities and the grass. In fact gerry would have to blow britain clean out the water. ETA, they have been daddied too. Also, it's ironic that the development of the first nuclear weapons which destroyed the japanese cities was called the "manhatten project".
benny
uk - Fri Sep 14 02:57:07 2001
a CNN poll said that 66% of americans supported a reprisal attack that would killl innocents.
craig
- Fri Sep 14 01:47:39 2001
AMERICAN'S RESPOND TO ACT OF TERRORISM:
(1) Declare War on unknown enemy
(2) Gun sales in NY skyrocket (pardon the pun)

I hope things don't spiral out of control (pardon the pun).
Lisa
- Fri Sep 14 00:19:39 2001
Sorry to bother you all again, I just visited that thread where Russ posted our comments. OK, it seems its a case of blinkered Americans again, I am not blaming them, they have a pretty decent existence and good standard of living over there, of course they dont want to believe that the good ole U S of A would fund anything remotely nasty.. They may need to read through my original comment again, I didn't accuse America of funding the IRA, I dont believe for a minute they would, but its common knowledge that AMERICANS, particularly Irish-americans who have done well for themselves donate money to the IRA. Simple as. The most ironic thing is that the majority of 'IRA supporting' Irish Americans live in New York.. Irony is indeed blessed with a wicked sense of humour.. The bottom line is, I would not apologise for the comments I made, I meant them, its rare that when posting on this message board I engage my brain and make a worthwhile (to me) comment, I didn't say it to be controversial, I was just stating a valid point. I realise that most people who contribute to Craigs message board are not complete fuckwits and we all have a resonable IQ level, our sense of humour is defintely pinned at the same level. You see the idiots come and go, but they rarely stay long, and I knew that I could post pretty much any comment on here and I wouldn't get 'flamed' for it.. Maybe this slightly crazy website is the only one true oasis of sanity left on the web.. Oooooo, I feel all clever and deep now.. I may well go and have a wank... Best Wishes, Mark..(Fat Uncle)
Fat Uncle Mark
Me Again - Thu Sep 13 23:24:35 2001
Actually dont post that email address, I dont really fancy some irate bog-trotter knocking on my door in the middle of the night with his AK47.. My real email address is... Irishmen_are_great_and_goodlooking@Ireland_forever.com (phew, I think I got out of that one)
Fat Uncle Mark
USA - Thu Sep 13 22:55:42 2001
Russ, no worries, post it to whoever you like, in fact, chuck my email addres in as well (mark.simms@virgin.net) if you like, the more abuse I get the happier I will be... Craig, you should of posted your comments man, the 'Take that Saddam!' headline hit the nail on the head.. Regards to you all.. From now on normal transmissions will resume.. Can women squirt??
Fat Uncle Mark
England - Thu Sep 13 22:53:25 2001
I'd say only about 4% of the world's population deserve to have freedom of speech - the rest have nothing interesting, orginal, timely or pertinent to say and should just s h u t t h e f u c k u p.
green fairy dot com
- Thu Sep 13 17:02:52 2001
Well, we have freedom of speech.... so we can talk about anything we want. Yeah!
Lisa
- Thu Sep 13 16:09:58 2001
Everything thse days, directly or indirectly, is about sex. No wonder when something like this comes along that is so seemingly far removed from fucking that it actually gets people's attention for once. Long may it continue to be of interest.
green fairy dot com
- Thu Sep 13 15:37:19 2001
God I've had enough of all this! This is all people talk about! What about the important things like sex!!!!
Jacqui
UK - Thu Sep 13 13:30:16 2001
PS If you don't believe me:

Nostradamus web page
Lisa
- Thu Sep 13 13:28:00 2001
This is why I find it difficult that these prophecies are nothing more than jokes because of the pumped up media rewriting them........ They accually read:
Quatrain 10,72
'The year 1999, seventh month,
From the sky will come a great King of terror:
To bring back to life the great King of Angolmois,
Before and after Mars to reign by good luck.'

Quatrain 6,97
'At forty-five degrees the sky will burn,
Fire to approach the great new city:
In an instant a great scattered flame will leap up,
When one will want to demand proof of the Normans.'


The following quatrain is a hoax......
'In the city of york/God there will be a great collapse/thunder
twin brothers torn apart by chaos
while the fortress falls the great leader will succumb
third big war will begin when the big city is burning'

You'd think Newspapers would try not to take advantage of peoples current hysteria, aren't things bad enough? Lets throw petrol on the burning remains of the WTC! Ha!
Lisa
England - Thu Sep 13 13:24:26 2001
BTW: here is the thing the Daily mail must of published. Nostradamous (sic?)
"In the year of the new century and nine months,
From the sky will come a great King of Terror...
The sky will burn at forty-five degrees.
Fire approaches the great new city..."

"In the city of york there will be a great collapse,
2 twin brothers torn apart by chaos
while the fortress falls the great leader will succumb
third big war will begin when the big city is burning"


Does sound a bit freaky to me, Craig
Russ
UK - Thu Sep 13 04:22:30 2001
You are right Mark. Seems the USA has funded the IRA - remember the footage of the little girls and the bomb last week? Will the USA harbour the IRA now?? I say "yes"
Russ
UK - Thu Sep 13 00:01:51 2001
I made a huge rant yesterday night but ended up not posting it on a similar matter, its all double standards - if this happened in Iraq we would have been dancing in the street - the sun would have had the headline 'Take that, saddam!' and no one would have cared that thousands were dead. Also one of the first things I thought was 'Will they still be funding the IRA?'. I hope it wakes america up to the real world.
craig
- Wed Sep 12 23:58:42 2001
mark, I hope you don't mind, but I copied and pasted that rant to http://pub1.ezboard.com/fsupermancinemadiscussionfrm8.showMessage?topicID=41.topic as I wanted a broader audience to read it. I don't know much of the link of the IRA and US but your rant was very interesting. If the USA has been harbouring IRA suspects then you are right. I have left you and this board anonymous. I am afraid an Irish and an American guy don't approve your of POV (to put it midly).
Russ
UK - Wed Sep 12 23:48:21 2001
OK, usually when I post on here it is in a jovial sense, so for a couple of minutes, Iam going to have a serious rant.. America:- Land of the free, moms apple pie and farcial lawsuits with obscene payouts. For years, Hundreds, if not thousands of Americans, whether they be Irish-Americans or your plain old normal fat ones, have supported the IRA (a 'terrorist' organisation (bear that bit in mind, its quite essential to the plot)) with money, arms, accomdation, safe houses and the like.. Now, yesterday, they experienced first-hand what terrorism is like, in its raw, un-edited, unglossed, uncut for TV ghastliness.. Today, their president declared war on ALL TERRORISM ACROSS THE GLOBE©® in an aim to wipe out the cowardly, backhand fiends AND THOSE WHO SUPPORT THEM!!.. Now Mr President answer me this, does this mean that you plan to eliminate all those americans who have supported the IRA.. ARE YOU??? ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKER??! You make me fucking sick with your damn hypocrisy. I am not heartless, the scenes seen on TV are awful, make me feel VERY VERY sad, bitter, angry, but when I see that piece of shit spouting off his ill-informed comments it makes me gag. SO A quick mnessage to our friends in the USA.. Its a tough world out there.... welcome to it..
Fat Uncle Mark
England - Wed Sep 12 23:15:31 2001
Misslie attack will never be the same again.
jimmy
- Wed Sep 12 20:19:44 2001
2nd Building Collapse => Sideshow Bob Hairdo => Frasier (David Angell) => The fall of the two brothers => Nostradamus proved right => Daily Mail, Quality Newspaper.

Spooky!
Or not...
Fox ARMPIT
FBI - Wed Sep 12 17:49:18 2001
craig man, this is all yesterdays news. boring!

- Wed Sep 12 15:34:37 2001
the pentagon renamed the horse shoe.
um
enlgnad - Tue Sep 11 21:48:24 2001
http://weather.noaa.gov/radar/latest/DS.p19r0/si.kokx.shtml the temprature pic and comment are (were) real.
craig
- Tue Sep 11 21:39:54 2001
That was a REAL pic as far as I know!
craig
- Tue Sep 11 21:07:36 2001
Craig: "New york will be seeing high tempratures for this time of year... "
That's not funny. 10,000 people have died. My thoughts are with those poor people. :-(
Dave
Glasgow - Tue Sep 11 20:24:14 2001
maaaaaannnnnnnnnnn ooooohhhhhhhh maaaaaaannnnnnnnnnn. This is the news story you wait for.
iicischoic
- Tue Sep 11 15:32:22 2001
Banned? How is it possible to be banned from one of these places?? Let me see.....something to do with porn?? Trying to investigate the colour of the anus of the young lady working at the cash desk?
green fairy dot com
- Tue Sep 11 11:10:24 2001
Why were you banned? Well, of course the QM will die, we'll all be dead in a 100 years anyway (except for Craig who is living forever). When she goes, she goes......
Lisa
- Tue Sep 11 10:56:13 2001
I was embarassed about my QM rumour-mongering, but I wasn't the only one.
ARMPIT
Wales - Tue Sep 11 09:08:58 2001
A whole day without a post, the first time ever.
craigix
- Tue Sep 11 03:00:59 2001
Why do you need to know about the colour of a girls arse? Is it important?
Lisa
- Sun Sep 9 15:07:26 2001
http://us.imdb.com/Bio?Swayze,+Patrick
Whoopi
- Sun Sep 9 06:21:48 2001
Wow! Watched stylised 80's chick flick "Dirty Dancing" on video tonight, and asked that very same question to the people there present. Somebody seemed to think he's paralysed now, but I shall be going over to IMDB to confirm this.
Song and dance films are my 'flavour of the month'. Watched "Moulin Rouge" yesterday, and for any fan of rock/love songs of the past 30 years it's a real treat. And it looks fantastic. I may watch it again soon.
But "Dirty Dancing" is shite.
ARMPIT
Wales - Sun Sep 9 01:38:39 2001
May I be the first to say what a cool little animation! Needs to be a bit slower though me thinks!
Jacqui
UK - Sat Sep 8 12:51:30 2001
ive looked all over the net and I cant find a page about the various colors of girls assholes.this is an important thing as they seem to vary depending on the size of the girl .very thin girls have pink ones or just skin colored ones but normal girls (never had a plumper) have brown.what are your findings?
horse
- Fri Sep 7 19:43:59 2001
right.

- Fri Sep 7 15:58:09 2001

Joe
Canada - Fri Sep 7 11:10:35 2001
what what what? what is your source for this amazing aligation?
craig
- Fri Sep 7 00:54:54 2001
Is QM already dead? The rumours say so - roads to the palace closed off etc. If this is right then I am first with the big news... if not then, well, it's only a harmless rumour...
ARMPIT
Wales - Fri Sep 7 00:03:42 2001
She's 42. I turned her down. I'm fucking kicking myself now. Shit! I've never had an older woman before! Shit! Shit! Shit!
ARMPIT
Wales - Thu Sep 6 23:48:00 2001
Hylo Donna! I'm afraid I'm unavailable at the moment, but please don't let that put you off your search. Do you know I pulled a TV star on the weekend? It's true you know, and she just came up to me and asked me for sex (more or less). But you're right, her name is mud round our house now. Good Luck!
ARMPIT
Wales - Thu Sep 6 23:29:48 2001
no you dont understand if a girl goes into pubs and gets men for sex she will get a name for herself i want to meet men on internet because its a better way!!!!!1
donna
- Thu Sep 6 22:00:05 2001
Then better kick the soap to the door. Cause I'm not pickin it up.
Grommet21
US - Thu Sep 6 21:01:24 2001
and YOU dropped your soap.
jimmy
- Thu Sep 6 20:11:01 2001
Your Shoe is untied...
Grommet21
US - Thu Sep 6 17:54:13 2001
Helllo00!!! Just a quick hi! Just went to see Scary Movie II - bit crap, but not as bad as I thought it would be. Hey craiggy - how much for one of those shit hot GBA linker/carts (inc p&p)?
BattleM@n
UK - Thu Sep 6 17:43:35 2001
x

- Thu Sep 6 17:42:58 2001

Craigobot
- Thu Sep 6 17:38:18 2001
Oi! She's not a silly tart, she's a 'performance artist'. Talent like that doesn't grow on trees you know.
ARMPIT
Wales - Thu Sep 6 14:48:05 2001
That one with the bottle isn't real! It would be impossible, anyway, it looks like a picture of a green wine bottle (which seems x2 the size) superimposed on some stupid tart with her legs in the air.

Lisa
- Thu Sep 6 08:56:28 2001
img src = "http://www.data-techniques.net/cwm/otn/funny/prizrak1.gif " width = 30 height =40>
htmLarry
USA - Thu Sep 6 04:54:31 2001
Another that didn't make the main page.
ixy
- Thu Sep 6 02:51:19 2001
ohh your good.
craigiix
- Wed Sep 5 19:17:02 2001
Kayleigh's?
plant
uk - Wed Sep 5 18:27:46 2001
Whose heart have u broken?
Lisa
- Wed Sep 5 18:10:31 2001
i'm hoping she dies on my birthday.
craig
- Wed Sep 5 15:17:25 2001
I think she will live forever. Just to piss Charles off.
Lisa
- Wed Sep 5 12:18:24 2001
QM Death Bet: 19/9/01. Going downhill. Charles worried.
ARMPIT
Wales - Wed Sep 5 09:19:23 2001
Every hole is a goal..
Fat Uncle Mark
Jolly old England, gawd bless 'er.. - Tue Sep 4 14:35:12 2001
Yes, but its only the men who associate any type of cylinder with a penis, not the women. Its all got to do with a mans obsession with holes and anything they can stick in them! Hope u feel better Craig!
Lisa
- Tue Sep 4 12:10:29 2001
But day-old stubble would really put me off my stride.
ARMPIT
Wales - Tue Sep 4 08:49:26 2001
A mouth is a mouth.
plant
uk - Mon Sep 3 20:00:54 2001
No it's not! Us girl get fed up with you guys at times if only you were more like us!
Jacqui
UK - Mon Sep 3 18:50:17 2001
Thats right! any hole will do! Isn't it the same with girls and unknowingly collecting penis shaped objects? Candels etc?
craig
- Mon Sep 3 16:57:30 2001
You've got a point. Fingers, tongues, courgettes, even willies: we love seeing and feeling things disappearing into holes. The tighter the fit the better.
ARMPIT
Wales - Mon Sep 3 16:49:11 2001
What is it with men and holes?
Lisa
- Mon Sep 3 16:24:24 2001
No she won't take it up the arse! I'd only let someone I love give it to me up the arse mind you I really rather not!
Jacqui
UK - Mon Sep 3 15:36:25 2001
Girls, dont knock bum-love until you have tried.. That goes for you guys as well. I stand proud to say my gf has fucked my arse with her dildo.. Basically the score was, I get to fuck her up the arse if I let her do me up the arse.. Try it, you might like it!!
Fat Uncle Mark
Jolly old England, gawd bless 'er.. - Mon Sep 3 14:40:56 2001
So, a woman only loves a man if she will take it up the arse? Well, maybe a man only loves a woman if he doesn't try and stick anything sinister in her anal region!!!! Does that mean that gay men are more loving?
Lisa
- Mon Sep 3 10:11:04 2001
but will she take it up her arse?
crraig
- Mon Sep 3 01:04:49 2001
Oh My GOD my sister is 40% gay. Ewwww lesbo sis!
Jacqui
UK - Mon Sep 3 00:07:20 2001
I'm apparently 29% gay so only 3% less then a lesbian!
Jacqui
UK - Mon Sep 3 00:01:04 2001
Yeah... that may have been my 29%. Anyway, a girl only loves you if she lets you shag her arse. and piss on her. etc,
craigix
- Sun Sep 2 22:20:36 2001
I'm 37% Gay. This may be down to my obsession with anal sex.
ARMPIT
Wales - Sun Sep 2 20:14:52 2001
look, i'm driving her to lesbianism.
craig
- Sun Sep 2 20:06:45 2001
I on't got 17% gay, I thought that was very low as I was just just thinking of becoming a lesbian last night, to piss men off.....
Lisa
- Sun Sep 2 17:02:34 2001
3rd try lucky - i was 29% bent.
ccccrrraaaiiigg
- Sun Sep 2 16:32:24 2001
i'd love to take the gay test, but it keeps breaking. Or at least thats what i'm claiming.
craigix
- Sun Sep 2 16:23:45 2001
Oh my God! I'm glad u aren't that desparate.
Lisa
- Sun Sep 2 16:21:56 2001
Hmmm. I went out to Cardiff last night, and in an unusual turn of events, I got a drunken snog. Who was the lucky lady I hear you ask? None other than Daily Mail and This Morning soap pundit Jaci Stephen! Apparently I have the look of someone who would "eat a lady out". She didn't get the chance to find out though, cos I was too scared.
ARMPIT
Wales - Sun Sep 2 15:40:40 2001
I got an outstanding Ass score of...... 62%!!!!
Lisa
- Sun Sep 2 14:41:40 2001
Jacqui you should do the gay test - if you turn out gay then you were right - you should become a lesbian - leave the bastard man behind.
craig
- Sat Sep 1 02:54:22 2001
Sorry, that last rant I posted was complete sweeping generalisation nonsense. Phew, for a minute there I lost myself.
Mark
Sensible(?) Scotland - Sat Sep 1 01:03:04 2001
I did it and the server was reset or something and I can't be arsed to do it again! I may get my mate to do the gay test!
Jacqui
UK - Sat Sep 1 00:32:50 2001
oooh 50% bitch.
GRAIL
- Fri Aug 31 19:40:02 2001
21% my bitch.
craig
- Fri Aug 31 18:22:42 2001
...and I'm 100% stud.
ARMPIT
Wales - Fri Aug 31 16:20:22 2001
I'm 21% bitch too.....
Lisa
- Fri Aug 31 10:35:08 2001
Fuckweasels!
BattleM@n
UK - Fri Aug 31 00:52:03 2001
Like I said, I'm pathetic! Rubbish human-doormat-type creature.
boki
- Fri Aug 31 00:14:55 2001
How the hell did you score so low? That kinda score is just not possible. Not if your honest.
craig
- Fri Aug 31 00:07:15 2001
Since we've all been bemoaning the fuckweaseliness of others lately, I think it's time we took the Bitch/Bastard Test. I'm 23% bastard and 21% bitch. Pathetic, eh?
boki
- Thu Aug 30 23:51:59 2001
If you are really that desperate for sex,just go to a pub and ask a bloke to fuck you. Seriously, any girl, no matter how rough can't fail to score that way.. Now if a bloke tried the same thing, we would get done for sexual harrasment.. With my un-natrally high sex drive I would love to be a girl, I would be shagging all day long, I'd probably go into porno films, but alas, I have to put up with my 4 nights a weeks with the missus.. Still, when she puts out she really makes an effort, dresses up, everything.. She bought some 'schoolgirl' type clothes yesterday (grey skirt, tight white blouse etc) so no doubt I will be administering punishment out to a particularly naughty girl in the not too distant future...
Fat Uncle Mark
England - Gawd bless 'er.. - Thu Aug 30 16:41:48 2001
I want to meet men on the internet to have sex with. have any of you ever done that. i dont want a relationship just sex i am 24.
Donna
england - Thu Aug 30 03:07:37 2001
Ah Craig. I noticed you got the rentaghost tune from the site I linked below. I have that too. Fucking good laugh. I hardly remember the show. Remeber a ghost with a goatee called Timothy and Audrey Roberts.
Check out the tales of the unexpected tune too. Subliminal porn music methinks.
Russ
UK - Wed Aug 29 23:48:01 2001
Hmmm (rubs chin) you didn't seem to think lisa sex life was private earlier on...
craig
- Wed Aug 29 19:11:34 2001
My sex life Craig is private and personal and if you are going to tell everyone about what I get up to well I guess I won't tell you that I did as you asked last night with TWIN brothers!!
Jacqui
UK - Wed Aug 29 18:51:24 2001
I see the word fuckweasel has entered into common usage.....!
green fairy dot com
- Wed Aug 29 13:57:01 2001
In answer to Fat Uncle Mark's questions: 1) Probably seven or eight times. You know, those holiday days when you can't be arsed to get out of bed, so you eat beans or Pot Noodle and act like a slob. The Richard and Judy finish on the telly so your bored again... 2) Yes. I have had five jobs and wanked in the toilets at each one of them (very quietly though - small quick strokes). 3) Probably the bathroom of my friend's house when I noticed that his mother's knickers were lying besides the dirty clothes basket... that was a few years ago mind.
ARMPIT
Wales - Wed Aug 29 10:57:16 2001
You are psychic! I love you too man!
ARMPIT
Wales - Wed Aug 29 01:23:04 2001
Trees? Is this dirty? Whats does 'making wax' mean?
Lisa
- Tue Aug 28 17:11:57 2001
Jacqui, I hear your getting into the tree scene? Care to tell us about that?
craig
- Tue Aug 28 17:06:22 2001
Hi darlings. Craig, I like your new back grounds. It doesn't matter what people look like, and to be honest, women can just be as bad as men. Humans are just crappy generally. I hope eventually everyone can find someone decent, just have to go through alot of dopes until then.
Lisa
Not Wales - Tue Aug 28 14:27:16 2001
I'd just like to say Mark your speaking out your arse. Good looking guys can be great ugly ones can be bastards!!
Jacqui
UK - Tue Aug 28 13:15:57 2001
Anyone remember that fucking COOL Kiora advert from the 80s? goto http://movie.musicpage.com to download the song.
Russ
UK - Tue Aug 28 05:39:41 2001
Those fuckweasel spyware programs are very devious. And have you noticed now if you mistype a URL in IE you are redirected to the microsoft search engine? Bloody hell.... is it 1984 already?
craig
- Tue Aug 28 00:26:32 2001
Interestingly, I Uninstalled Gozilla yesterday because the bastard banner ads are taking up half the fucking screen & won't piss off when I shut the program down. Bastard piece of spyware anyway...
BattleM@n
UK - Tue Aug 28 00:18:53 2001
Blah-di-fuckin-blah. Sorry everybody, I'm in the mood for typing crap - it won't last long, honest. Anyway, you know what gets me ranting? Bloody websites that use fixed font sizes, that's what. Two of my favourite sites have recently "relaunched" with fancy new layout. I'm sure it look lovely to the advertisers and that, but they use very small fixed font sizes.
I NEED to increase the size of the fonts on screen. I know MSIE has the option to ignore font sizes, but it just doesn't work in the same way, try it.
Web site designers - "Don't use fixed font sizes, or you'll be pissing me off"
Thank you.
ARMPIT
Wales - Mon Aug 27 23:06:50 2001
Mat. Mat from Bristol. Where are you man, Mat from Bristol?
ARMPIT
Wales - Mon Aug 27 22:19:48 2001
No whores have ever tried to sell me sex. I suppose some things are not worth the money :-(
ARMPIT
Wales - Mon Aug 27 21:23:17 2001
and whores on the street selling you sex
craig
- Mon Aug 27 21:08:23 2001
I don't think I've EVER clicked on a popup window advert. It's the online equivalent of those women who try to sell you crappy roses in restaurants, annoying you with stuff you don't want. Or selling brushes at your door. Even if you wanted a brush or a rose, you tell 'em to sling their hook for getting in your face. "Beauty School Dropout", that's me. In't Grease brilliant!
ARMPIT
Wales - Mon Aug 27 18:20:02 2001
It makes no difference. I go for the camp, fey men who like pink feather boas and sipping Pimms in eyeliner and they still end up being tosspots.
green fairy dot com
- Mon Aug 27 15:59:47 2001
What are the fuck are you talking about
Cowboy
Australia - Mon Aug 27 10:39:20 2001
You may think men are a waste of time, Jacqui. But then you could also say the same about women. It really makes no difference. Men and women will always be drawn to one another despite all the hassle that goes with it. It amuses me how every woman thinks that her relationship will be different from all the others and then when they get hurt it's men are scum, men are all bastards etc. Like they didn't know this already! I mean, wake up and smell the coffee. The only men who aren't bastards are unattractive and boring. That's why most woman tend to go for the good-looking, fun guys and always end up getting hurt. Accept it. It's a fact of life.
Mark
Sensible Scotland - Sun Aug 26 23:11:44 2001
I'm definitely up for this being a lezzer lark, albeit with an unusually fleshy strap-on.
boki
- Sun Aug 26 22:16:45 2001
This chick digs GRAVES for fuckweasels...
green fairy dot com
- Sun Aug 26 21:26:12 2001
Hi y'all! Say, this place is mighty quiet ain't it? Gee, ain't you guys got anythin' to be talkin' about? Back in the old country, Maw and Paw and me uncle Jesse tended to be yakkin' long into the night, toastin' marshmallows over the old campfire n'all. Hot-Damn! Shucks you limey guys! Hey, gotta go, have a nice day now y'all.
Yankie Frank
Good ol' US of A - Sun Aug 26 20:27:57 2001
I wouldn't want a man with fuck weasel on his head!! I think I'm way to young to know what I want. It may just be the alchiehole talking but I think men are a waste of time! Be a lesbian I say!
Jacqui
UK - Sun Aug 26 01:35:35 2001
Would that really make any difference, though? Chicks dig fuckweasals.
boki
- Sat Aug 25 18:48:07 2001
.....and men who pay you all kinds of compliments and urge you to get in touch with them and when you nervously do they suggest a date and you think 'excellent!' and go and it's really fab and you really like him and he sends you all sorts of sexy texts and then all of a sudden and for no reason at all calls you and says he's too busy to see you anytime soon and leaves it like that and make you wonder at 4am 'well, was he just fucking with me or what?'......men like THAT should be branded with the word 'fuckweasel' on their foreheads to forewarn any other unsuspecting female. Ooooh, I feel much better now.
green fairy dot com
- Sat Aug 25 15:37:33 2001
I'm fed up of people saying "God Jacqui you are only 20 go on and shag around forget him. Youra) to pretty for him b) to caring for him c) to generous for him d) too hygenic for him e) well the amount of reasons go on". Not one person has told me to try to get back with him and it's doing my head in aarrrrrggghhhh!
Jacqui
UK - Sat Aug 25 12:55:07 2001
Here's an opportunity for you ladies to get some of my sticky liquid inside of you. Simply suffer a life threatening injury in the South Wales area - you may get lucky and receive some of my essential juices in the transfusion clinic. Today I gave blood for the first time. I am now a responsible citizen and will go to heaven.
ARMPIT
Wales - Sat Aug 25 00:57:07 2001
Just for Jacqui: ~*If Women Ruled The World*~ ============================ * Women with cold hands would give men prostate exams. * PMS would be a legitimate defense in court. * Men would get reputations for sleeping around. * Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets. * A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing. * Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds. * Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity. * Men would not be allowed to eat gas-producing foods within two hours of bedtime. * Men would be secretaries for female bosses, working twice as hard for none of the credit. * Little girls would read "Snow White and the Seven Hunks" * Men would earn 70 cents for every dollar women made. * Men would bring drinks, chips and dip to women watching soap operas. * Men would HAVE to get Playboy for the articles, because there would be no pictures. * Men would learn phrases like: "I'm sorry", "I love you", "You're beautiful" and "Of course you don't look fat in that outfit." * Men would be judged entirely by their looks, women by their accomplishments. * Men would sit around and wonder what WE are thinking. * Men would pay as much attention to their woman as to their car. * All toilet seats would be nailed down. * Men would work on relationships as much as they work on their careers. * TV news segments on sports would never run longer than 1 minute. * All men would be forced to spend one month in a PMS simulator. * During mid-life crisis, men would get hot-flashes and women would date 19 year olds. * Overweight men would have their weight brought to their attention constantly. * After a baby is born, men would take a six-week paternity leave to wait on their wives hand and foot. * For basic training, soldiers would have to take care of a two-year olds for six weeks. Don't let the bastard get you down :)
BattleM@n
UK - Fri Aug 24 19:24:03 2001
Thats quite sad Craig. Can't u find something more exciting to do in there. Whose faces are offending u now? I am hungry.
Lisa
- Thu Aug 23 16:54:15 2001
Bastards. So hot. Christ. The Faces. Offensive.

I'd like to buy a male and female fufme thing and just watch them have sex with each other, it would be a talking point of my bedroom.
craigixixix I say
- Thu Aug 23 15:16:03 2001
The girl's feeling down, and I can't leave a girl feeling down (without trying the old "shoulder to cry on" routine in the hope of some action). You're still my number one.
ARMPIT
Wales - Wed Aug 22 21:57:53 2001
That was for me Armpit!
Lisa
- Wed Aug 22 21:47:48 2001
Hey Little Miss Jacqui, don't you cry! I'll send you one o' my special presents to help cheer you up. All the good lovin', none of the male bastard hassle.
ARMPIT
Wales - Wed Aug 22 21:24:11 2001
Yup still man problems :o( Well at least there is no chance I'll damage my insides from too much sex!!
Jacqui
UK - Wed Aug 22 17:31:18 2001
Whats wrong Jacqui? Man trouble? Cheer up! *hugs*
Lisa
- Wed Aug 22 16:19:15 2001
Just to let you know I am still alive, but very depressed!
Jacqui
UK - Wed Aug 22 14:55:46 2001
I don't exactly love it! Y'see, I got one of those cool Shower radios for Xmas last year, but the only problem is that it can't get FM in the bathroom (bad reception area ;). Therefore I have to listen to AM with shite stations like Radio 5 Live. The only music that I can find is on 1215 - whereby my showering is interupted by Travis!
BattleM@n
UK - Tue Aug 21 20:57:13 2001
I think you should probably get a prize for actually listening to a Travis song all the way to the end. I've never managed.
plant
uk - Tue Aug 21 00:53:53 2001
Oh bring that shit up again why don't you lol

Look through the archives to read alllll about it.
craig
- Mon Aug 20 23:02:15 2001
And is there a group of monks who train for years so they can lift large weights (like breeze block) with there erection....?
Lisa
- Mon Aug 20 23:01:56 2001
Can women squirt? What does it mean?
Lisa
- Mon Aug 20 22:59:16 2001
And u want a Nobel Prize for that? What is the contribution to mankind from listening to 1215? Why don't you find a cure for cancer? Yeah.
Lisa
- Mon Aug 20 17:22:26 2001
I've made a huge scientific breakthru that is bound to get me the Nobel Prize (Hell - it 'aint difficult!). I call it 'The Virgin Radio Rule Of 20 minutes". Listen to Virgin Radio (1215 am) for 20 minutes. Within that time you are guarenteed to hear at least 1 Travis song! It's True! Try it and see!
BattleM@n
UK - Mon Aug 20 17:19:26 2001
Visit www.epic45.com for a free album giveaway!!
Rob
Wheaton Aston - UK - Mon Aug 20 13:05:59 2001
OK, not much said about the situation about Neil hamilton wanking off over that girl whilst his wife ALLEDGEDLY sat on her face.. As much as I cant stand the guy, the 'victim' is obviously off her rocker, and is doing it purely for the money, her and her family have recieved substantial payments from the sleazier parts of the media to tell their story. Even when it does come to light that she is talking out of her arse, she will still be aroun 50k better off and just get off with wasting police time.. I might come clean about the time I was molested by Princess Diana in a sado/masocistic voodoo ritual.. should be worth a fortune..
Fat Uncle Mark
Jolly old England, gawd bless 'er.. - Mon Aug 20 10:09:57 2001
lisa man... follow what hes saying... read...
craig
- Sun Aug 19 22:34:46 2001
Your four day run of what?
Lisa
- Sun Aug 19 16:04:56 2001
What the fuck do you bastards thing this place is, a fucking chat line? Oh... hang on... yeah. Carry on.
craig
- Sun Aug 19 03:02:05 2001
Pah! There was me thinking you meant grumpy 50 year old blokes called ARMPIT. I was just about to break my four day run....
ARMPIT
Wales - Sat Aug 18 23:45:50 2001
Shagging 21 year old men.
Lisa
- Sat Aug 18 23:35:56 2001
What will?
ARMPIT
Wales - Sat Aug 18 23:26:47 2001
Well, it will be my main fantasy when I am sixty.....
Lisa
- Sat Aug 18 23:24:00 2001
I ain't that old. But my mam says that my dad always used to say that he would never turn out like his dad (grumpy, bitter and sad). But that's just how he has turned out. He's still my dad and I love him though, but I know I'll be just like him in 25 years time :o/ . On a totally unrelated topic, I haven't had a wank since Wednesday, and I feel full o' beans.
ARMPIT
Wales - Sat Aug 18 23:22:59 2001
I've noticed how older men get grumpier with age..... I don't know why, do u know? Thats why I intend only to date 21 years olds untill I die.
Lisa
- Sat Aug 18 23:15:37 2001
I've been a grumpy old fucker for years. But I feel like I'm on the verge of a second adolesence. YEEHA! Godammit!
ARMPIT
Wales - Sat Aug 18 23:12:00 2001
Bollocks. U just bitter because you feeling old and want to comfort yourself by claiming that your youth was better.... plus the old brain cells are dying off, effects memory! lol ;-)
Lisa
- Sat Aug 18 23:04:25 2001
Well, that was the first "I Love this particular year because of the stuff that was on telly" that I've watched where I actually remembered all of the things that happened. If I knew somebody ten years younger than me, I'd be telling them how good the music was back then, not like that tuneless rubbish young folk listen to today - "You can't even hear the words properly!". Of course back then you knew everybody on your street, and you could leave you front door open all day without a care in the world. And you had proper big fifty pees, not like todays toytown money.
ARMPIT
Wales - Sat Aug 18 22:53:39 2001
I might post my 4,000 word dissertation on here so you can tell me what you think of it! lol
Lisa
- Sat Aug 18 13:11:37 2001
Oddly enough I find myself caring perhaps a bit too much about stuff like that, Gail. I think it's because I'm not even remotely posh and don't talk proper, but still want to grasp our ridiculous language as well as possible. It's really not that hard (gnyuck)
boki
- Sat Aug 18 12:28:06 2001
it becomes Jones'. It's only those crazy americans, and their sub-standard grasp of the english language, that write Jones's. Not that anyone cares. I came in a little late with that.
GRAIL
- Sat Aug 18 11:19:55 2001
Me and Helen once got caught in the uni bathroom, in the bath. The students that caught us were not seeing the funny side, since it was their bathroom. I was though, and ran away laughing, Helen never really got over it.
craig
- Fri Aug 17 20:15:01 2001
Has anyone got any funny stories about being caught?
Lisa
- Fri Aug 17 16:52:24 2001
Also, whilst on the subject.. Answer these..1. most times in a day (any 24 hour period). 2/ have you ever wanked at work/school/college. 3/wanked in any other weird places.. In answer to my own questions.. 1/ six(as previously mentioned). 2/ Yeah, wanked a couple of times when I have been at work, quick trip to the toilets with a copy of the sport.. luvvverrrly.. 3/ probably when I was driving back from a gig one night (I play guitar in a wedding band at weekends), I think I was probably driving through Epping Forest at the time..
Fat Uncle Mark
Jolly old England, gawd bless 'er.. - Fri Aug 17 16:11:04 2001
I've beaten 6......
Lisa
- Fri Aug 17 15:24:23 2001
Arggggg.....my kidneys.....arggggg. I think I need morphine. I asked my sister to whack me over the head with a frying pan, just so I would pass out and then then pain would go away. Plus I'd get to see her arrested and imprisoned for GBH to cheer me up. She wouldn't do it. Selfish Bitch.
Lisa
- Fri Aug 17 15:23:46 2001
SIX? Bloody hell, I get really dry after like 2, which causes the skin to get sore. Hmmm maybe some baby oil is what i need. Lisa, what kind of nasty, unthoughtful man could do such a thing? If I were you i'd teach him a lesson, possibly involving baby oil.
craig
- Fri Aug 17 14:09:35 2001
On no accounts should you say... If your cunt wasn't such a bucket then I might fucking feel something you slack-fannied old hagbag... On another note, whats the most wanks any guys here have had in a single day (a complete wank is where you bolt your load at the end of it).. I think I have probably managed 6 when I have been REALLY bored and got a load of new pornos.. After 6 your hardon aches too much..
Fat Uncle Mark
- Fri Aug 17 14:03:47 2001
If I get to the "shagging and ca't cum insdie her stage", I always use the excuses... 1/ Sex with you is sooooooo good I like making it last... 2/ I like making you cum loads before I finish.. and my personal favourite is number 3// What would you prefer, a man who cums straight away or someone like me with lots of sexual stamina....
Fat Uncle Mark
- Fri Aug 17 14:01:20 2001
Bugger.
ARMPIT
Wales - Fri Aug 17 10:19:03 2001
PS I know men are bastards, I have accepted it. The only thing I want from a relationship, is a partner (male, human) who isn't afraid of spiders...... thats ALL!
Lisa
- Fri Aug 17 09:57:27 2001
Do any of you men have problems with a pissed off 5 legged spider running around your bedroom? SOMEONE tried to kill it but only managed to amputate one of its legs and generally annoy it, now I don't think it will be happy till it does the same to me. I kept waking up in the middle of the night thinking it was trying to chew off my left leg......I am very traumatised.
Lisa
- Fri Aug 17 09:55:31 2001
Do any other men have problems cumming in/with women, you know, kinda just go on forever until the woman is sort of pissed off she can't get you to cum, yet if you watch her do something and wank yourself, you can cum pretty quickly? I'm not saying this is ME i'm talking about, i'm just wondering.
craig
- Fri Aug 17 02:27:17 2001
We are all lazy, selfish, stubborn arseholes. We are - as a wise woman once said - trying to get into your pants. We do this by adopting a personality that we believe will work - generous, rampantly sexual, caring, tough - whatever will do the job. I don't even think that we know we are doing it.
Like a fake smile, our false personality slowly slips away to reveal our true selves.
ARMPIT
Wales - Thu Aug 16 21:48:33 2001
Well, I'm a man and I've never changed... I've just always been an arsehole.
plant
uk - Thu Aug 16 18:22:09 2001
Don't stress Jacqui! I think Men are just born like that and I have given up hpe of ever changing ithem. Have you told him how you feel? Well, I hope things work out better for you soon :-)
Lisa
- Thu Aug 16 13:42:29 2001
I'm so depressed! I made my bf pack his stuff up and leave last night cause he was being such an arse!!! I wish he was still the guy I fell in love with arrrggghhhhh MEN I just want to be happy with him can't he see that!! I may be over possesive but thats cause he is so damn secretive! Arrggghhhh I want him here the way he was!! Why did he have to change! I hate the way I feel right now!!!
Jacqui
UK - Thu Aug 16 13:28:52 2001
With pleasure dear boy. Fancy a swim later? Awight?
Michael Barrymore
Awight? - Thu Aug 16 12:40:28 2001
up your ass barrymore

- Thu Aug 16 03:04:02 2001
Nice site...
clipart <ovwthua@1nsyncfan.com>
USA - Thu Aug 16 01:35:42 2001
Awight? Up yours Rothwell! I will return triumphant! Awight up the back?
Michael Barrymore
Awight? - Thu Aug 16 00:51:23 2001
Hylo Sky & Blaze. Do either of you fine fellows know the name of the tune from Phoenix?
ARMPIT
Wales - Wed Aug 15 23:52:20 2001
Ok, here they are............ *Sky & Blaze walk into the room chewing gum and twirling their hair* Sky: Knock knock? Blaze: Who's there? Sky: Beaver! Blaze: Beaver who? Sky: I'm gonna hit you in the head with a beaver..... Blaze: Uh huh huh huh...... Sky: *mumbles* not much good that'll do... Blaze: What ya'll say? Sky: Nuting....... Blaze: So, what dya think of the site? Sky: Site? What's a site? Blaze: I dunno...Thought you'd know........ Sky: Is it that page with all the lights and hard words? Blaze: Yup! *Sky starts to jump around the room like a lunatic* Blaze: What you doing? Sky: I'm pretending to be a bunny in space! Blaze: Oh........Can i play? Sky: Yeah! Blaze: Who can i be? Sky: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......How about Charizard? Blaze: You calling me a hot headed beast? Sky: *thinks* Errrrrrrrr......Yup! *Blaze hits Sky across the head with...................the beaver* Sky: Uh huh huh huh.... Blaze: Your a freak...... Sky: Thanks hon, I like you too...... Blaze: You do? Argh! runaway!!!!!!!!!!! *Blaze leave the conversation* Sky: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.........? *Sky sits down and tries to get the chewing gum out of her hair with her barbie dolls foot*
Sky & Blaze
Do i have one? - Wed Aug 15 23:46:11 2001
Nah, it's a tiny little scar in my navel - keyhole surgery these days, doncha know.
green fairy dot com
- Wed Aug 15 19:28:42 2001
I'm going to get some in car mp3/cd players in stock. They look pretty cool.
craig
- Wed Aug 15 17:58:16 2001
Let's Make Some Craaaaaaaazy Money! - Crazy Taxi 2 isn't anywhere near as good as the first - the crazy jump thinggy makes it a pile of pants. Still - it's better than the PS2 version of CT :) Oooh, I got a combined mp3/cd player today (it's the goodmans one from the new argos catalog) and it ROCKS!!! I must get that cool 'Bum' book before the Daily Mail or Carol Vorderman try to ban it from the UK!
BattleM@n
UK - Wed Aug 15 14:27:57 2001
Dr Death wants to give teenagers a death pill. Bloody idiot. Give him a death pill and see how he likes it! Muh ha ha ha ha
Lisa
- Wed Aug 15 12:53:02 2001
TYPO! Is NOT working.....
Lisa
- Wed Aug 15 12:49:13 2001
i don't think yr page counter is working. get yr finger out craigggggy!
LISA
- Wed Aug 15 12:48:44 2001
My thoughts on Radiohead... They're shit, except for 'Creep' which is a classic. Oh, and can the Dreamcast Wheel be adapted to work with Deathchase on the Spectrum?
plant
uk - Tue Aug 14 20:00:18 2001
I played Crazy Taxi for the first and only time in an arcade when I was on holiday a few weeks ago. I was very, very shit at it.
boki
- Tue Aug 14 19:35:37 2001
I want an ice machine.

- Tue Aug 14 19:22:40 2001
I need to turn the 'return key = return line' don't I. Christ its hot. VERY VERY hot. And I don't suppose anyone has a cadillac? I hear The Bangles are back, well... apparently they have never been away... but they are making a proper come back.
craig
- Tue Aug 14 19:13:16 2001
Moral of story: Men are arrogant. And secretly desire to walk round naked so everyone can be impressed by their limp-little tackle...
Lisa
- Tue Aug 14 14:23:06 2001
My thoughts on Radiohead.. They was good, for two albums, then became victims of their own hype, but fortunately for them, the 'music press' continued to rave on about how great they were, although to be truthful, no-one seems to know why they are good... the truth is, they are actually pretty cack, but the music journos, and the long haired baggy troused brigade are too afriad to seem 'out of touch' to come out and say anything, they is an excellent fairy-tale that relates to the story of radiohead.. Ah, here it is.. Just substitute the emperors servants and advisors as the music press and baggy brigade and the weavers as Radiohead.. Story of the Emperor's New Clothes Many years ago there lived an Emperor who was so fond of new clothes that he spent all his money on them in order to be beautifully dressed. He did not care about his soldiers, he did not care about the theatre; he only liked to go out walking to show off his new clothes. He had a coat for every hour of the day; and just as they say of a king, 'He is in the council-chamber,' they always said here, 'The Emperor is in the wardrobe.' In the great city in which he lived there was always something going on; every day many strangers came there. One day two impostors arrived who gave themselves out as weavers, and said that they knew how to manufacture the most beautiful cloth imaginable. Not only were the texture and pattern uncommonly beautiful, but the clothes which were made of the stuff possessed this wonderful property that they were invisible to anyone who was not fit for his office, or who was unpardonably stupid. 'Those must indeed be splendid clothes,' thought the Emperor. 'If I had them on I could find out which men in my kingdom are unfit for the offices they hold; I could distinguish the wise from the stupid! Yes, this cloth must be woven for me at once.' And he gave both the impostors much money, so that they might begin their work. They placed two weaving-looms, and began to do as if they were working, but they had not the least thing on the looms. They also demanded the finest silk and the best gold, which they put in their pockets, and worked at the empty looms till late into the night. 'I should like very much to know how far they have got on with the cloth,' thought the Emperor. But he remembered when he thought about it that whoever was stupid or not fit for his office would not be able to see it. Now he certainly believed that he had nothing to fear for himself, but he wanted first to send somebody else in order to see how he stood with regard to his office. Everybody in the whole town knew what a wonderful power the cloth had, and they were all curious to see how bad or how stupid their neighbour was. 'I will send my old and honoured minister to the weavers,' thought the Emperor. 'He can judge best what the cloth is like, for he has intellect, and no one understands his office better than he.' Now the good old minister went into the hall where the two impostors sat working at the empty weaving-looms. 'Dear me!' thought the old minister, opening his eyes wide, 'I can see nothing!' But he did not say so. Both the impostors begged him to be so kind as to step closer, and asked him if it were not a beautiful texture and lovely colours. They pointed to the empty loom, and the poor old minister went forward rubbing his eyes; but he could see nothing, for there was nothing there. 'Dear, dear!' thought he, 'can I be stupid? I have never thought that, and nobody must know it! Can I be not fit for my office? No, I must certainly not say that I cannot see the cloth!' 'Have you nothing to say about it?' asked one of the men who was weaving. 'Oh, it is lovely, most lovely!' answered the old minister, looking through his spectacles. 'What a texture! What colours! Yes, I will tell the Emperor that it pleases me very much.' 'Now we are delighted at that,' said both the weavers, and thereupon they named the colours and explained the make of the texture. The old minister paid great attention, so that he could tell the same to the Emperor when he came back to him, which he did. The impostors now wanted more money, more silk, and more gold to use in their weaving. They put it all in their own pockets, and there came no threads on the loom, but they went on as they had done before, working at the empty loom. The Emperor soon sent another worthy statesman to see how the weaving was getting on, and whether the cloth would soon be finished. It was the same with him as the first one; he looked and looked, but because there was nothing on the empty loom he could see nothing. 'Is it not a beautiful piece of cloth?' asked the two impostors, and they pointed to and described the splendid material which was not there. 'Stupid I am not!' thought the man, 'so it must be my good office for which I am not fitted. It is strange, certainly, but no one must be allowed to notice it.' And so he praised the cloth which he did not see, and expressed to them his delight at the beautiful colours and the splendid texture. 'Yes, it is quite beautiful,' he said to the Emperor. Everybody in the town was talking of the magnificent cloth. Now the Emperor wanted to see it himself while it was still on the loom. With a great crowd of select followers, amongst whom were both the worthy statesmen who had already been there before, he went to the cunning impostors, who were now weaving with all their might, but without fibre or thread. 'Is it not splendid!' said both the old statesmen who had already been there. 'See, your Majesty, what a texture! What colours!' And then they pointed to the empty loom, for they believed that the others could see the cloth quite well. 'What!' thought the Emperor, 'I can see nothing! This is indeed horrible! Am I stupid? Am I not fit to be Emperor? That were the most dreadful thing that could happen to me. Oh, it is very beautiful,' he said. 'It has my gracious approval.' And then he nodded pleasantly, and examined the empty loom, for he would not say that he could see nothing. His whole Court round him looked and looked, and saw no more than the others; but they said like the Emperor, 'Oh! it is beautiful!' And they advised him to wear these new and magnificent clothes for the first time at the great procession which was soon to take place. 'Splendid! Lovely! Most beautiful!' went from mouth to mouth; everyone seemed delighted over them, and the Emperor gave to the impostors the title of Court weavers to the Emperor. Throughout the whole of the night before the morning on which the procession was to take place, the impostors were up and were working by the light of over sixteen candles. The people could see that they were very busy making the Emperor's new clothes ready. They pretended they were taking the cloth from the loom, cut with huge scissors in the air, sewed with needles without thread, and then said at last, 'Now the clothes are finished!' The Emperor came himself with his most distinguished knights, and each impostor held up his arm just as if he were holding something, and said, 'See! here are the breeches! Here is the coat! Here the cloak!' and so on. 'Spun clothes are so comfortable that one would imagine one had nothing on at all; but that is the beauty of it!' 'Yes,' said all the knights, but they could see nothing, for there was nothing there. 'Will it please your Majesty graciously to take off your clothes,' said the impostors, 'then we will put on the new clothes, here before the mirror.' The Emperor took off all his clothes, and the impostors placed themselves before him as if they were putting on each part of his new clothes which was ready, and the Emperor turned and bent himself in front of the mirror. 'How beautifully they fit! How well they sit!' said everybody. 'What material! What colours! It is a gorgeous suit!' 'They are waiting outside with the canopy which your Majesty is wont to have borne over you in the procession,' announced the Master of the Ceremonies. 'Look, I am ready,' said the Emperor. 'Doesn't it sit well!' And he turned himself again to the mirror to see if his finery was on all right. The chamberlains who were used to carry the train put their hands near the floor as if they were lifting up the train; then they did as if they were holding something in the air. They would not have it noticed that they could see nothing. So the Emperor went along in the procession under the splendid canopy, and all the people in the streets and at the windows said, 'How matchless are the Emperor's new clothes! That train fastened to his dress, how beautifully it hangs!' No one wished it to be noticed that he could see nothing, for then he would have been unfit for his office, or else very stupid. None of the Emperor's clothes had met with such approval as these had. 'But he has nothing on!' said a little child at last. 'Just listen to the innocent child!' said the father, and each one whispered to his neighbour what the child had said. 'But he has nothing on!' the whole of the people called out at last. This struck the Emperor, for it seemed to him as if they were right; but he thought to himself, 'I must go on with the procession now. And the chamberlains walked along still more uprightly, holding up the train which was not there at all.
Fat Uncle Mark
England - Gawd bless 'er.. - Tue Aug 14 09:22:39 2001
1. Sorry about the snip misinformation. 2. When do we get back the lovely pretty patterns in the background? 3. Does anybody know the name of the classical tune that plays at the start of the old arcade game Phoenix? It sounds vaguely Hungarian. It is so poigniant it makes me want to cry.
ARMPIT
Wales - Tue Aug 14 00:55:23 2001
Yeah course the wheel works with resident evil, in fact a quick hit of the brake pedal and low and behold you have a 1970's jag at your disposal, and you can just drive through them zombies with style. Possibly.
craig
- Mon Aug 13 23:34:01 2001
Green, do you have a huge scar then?
craigix
- Mon Aug 13 22:02:57 2001
Yeah, I'll have the steering wheel... does it work with Resident Evil?
plant
uk - Mon Aug 13 19:20:12 2001
I want CRAXY TAXI 2!!!!!! I'll have the steering wheel. But I dont have a Dreamcast.....I can just pretend though, use my imagination!!!
Lisa
- Mon Aug 13 18:06:13 2001
I have had the snip. They clip off the tubes at two points and then bit in the middle dies off, or they burn a great chunk off. Not tied at all. Only about 5% chance of a successful reversion. I highly recommend it.
green fairy dot com
- Mon Aug 13 18:05:17 2001
Umm, sexual communication.... could change the way we have sex in the future. Wouldn't need to have the 'snip' or anything like that, because can just have remote sex! Could have small (or large) portable device that plugs into mobile phone, so that people could have sex while they are on the bus in Essex and their partner is sitting on the beach in Portugal.... ummmm
Lisa
- Mon Aug 13 17:15:06 2001
Yes you did gail, and i always credit you when telling people about subway. Ask anyone. Well, anyone who knows me.
craig
- Mon Aug 13 01:54:58 2001
Ayeeee, but who introduced you to those babies? eh? eh craig? that's right.
GRAIL
- Mon Aug 13 01:34:35 2001
Um, it's a "sexual communication device". But I was only joking, honest!
ARMPIT
Wales - Sat Aug 11 20:39:08 2001
Um, it's a "sexual communication device". But I was only joking, honest!
ARMPIT
Wales - Sat Aug 11 20:39:07 2001
ARMPIT - I'd rather have a REALDOLL if you are offering to buy me sex aids..... the male one of course, with the 7" penis, I'm not greedy!
Lisa
- Sat Aug 11 17:07:40 2001
Females are lukcy they just get tied up. Blokes { and Ive just had a snip ) get cut and microwaved to scramble up the tubes. Bloody painfull - it feels like something is ripping your guts and I had to pay £200 !
cybertrader
uk - Sat Aug 11 12:27:19 2001
They tie up your tubes. Then untie them. If that's what you ask for.
ARMPIT
Wales - Fri Aug 10 19:09:49 2001
Can a sterilisation be reversed? Do they just clip up the tubes?
craigix
- Fri Aug 10 17:33:33 2001
Well, I thought the same about Craig, but then I heard he had a habit of cutting up girls much beloved teddy bears. I have lots of teddy's in my room, including Floppy Dog..... I would be devastated if anything happened to him!
Lisa
- Thu Aug 9 15:37:41 2001
well.. i thought things were cool with me and lisa, but then she tells me she has a habbit of smashing up bedrooms, I mean I like lisa... But I have a lot of stuff in my room that I like too. My chair for instance. And my Octogramus.
craig
- Thu Aug 9 15:18:05 2001
Yes, it was pretty funny...
Lisa
- Thu Aug 9 13:52:27 2001
hehe thats pretty funny, but are you and Craig together or what Lisa?
Jacqui
UK - Thu Aug 9 13:35:29 2001
But Radiohead just makes me want to jump off the nearest bridge!
Lisa
- Thu Aug 9 12:17:18 2001
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole. The barman screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guys says "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table whole!" "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "He eats everything in sight, the little terror. Sorry, I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff. "He finishes his drink pays his bill, pays for the stuff his monkey ate, then leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his arse, pulls it out, and eats it. The barman is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks. "No, what?" replies the guy. "Well, he stuck a cherry up his bum, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the barman. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since the cue ball incident, he measures it first."
Lisa Witch
- Thu Aug 9 12:16:11 2001
Just listen to nothing but Radiohead. Life made worthwhile, problem solved.
green fairy dot com
- Thu Aug 9 12:09:54 2001
Aahhhhh! I remember when Travis supported Oasis. I'd never seen so many people crowded outside by the porta-loos in my life :)
BattleM@n
UK - Thu Aug 9 00:44:30 2001
Travis? They seem to be really nice people and come across well in interviews, and they can play well live but... The songs are just so fucking boring and shite. Turn, turn, turn, turn, turn. Sing, sing, sing, sing... etc, etc. Just shut the fuck up will you. Jesus. I think Kevin Wood's Steps/Travis comparision is spot on.
plant
uk - Wed Aug 8 23:58:43 2001

not saying
Wales - Wed Aug 8 21:28:09 2001
Bollocks.
It's three ladies with their tits out.
ARMPIT
Wales - Wed Aug 8 21:26:27 2001
I was so excited looking at my winning melons, that I didn't notice THESE winning melons. Are there any albums made these days that are worth listening to? Apart from all of Drugstore's, the last album I bought and fell in love with was Supergrass's second album. People have tried to convince me that stuff like Travis and Muse is great, but I don't half lose interest quickly. I also bought the Daft Punk album because of the two brilliant singles, but the rest of it is pretty shitty. I'm not a Clive Roswell stalker or anything, but I've been listening to my old Queen CDs. Perfect they are - powerful, humorous and beautiful. Fuck'nell, my dad speaks through me! Or is it all really shit these days? Thank you for your attention.
ARMPIT
Wales - Wed Aug 8 21:24:23 2001
You know, I was gonna just quickly look at this site and then go for a bath! Not sure I want to now...:)
boki
- Wed Aug 8 20:44:52 2001
I want to know who Gail is. I want an answer to Jacqui's question. I want a million dollars in used bills.
ARMPIT
Wales - Wed Aug 8 18:16:14 2001
I've got two melons.
Lisa
- Wed Aug 8 17:55:36 2001
What do u want?
Lisa
- Wed Aug 8 17:45:27 2001
Ooh Ooh! Do I win anything for three melons? Do I? Do I?
ARMPIT
Wales - Wed Aug 8 17:34:54 2001
So Craig are you and Lisa officially together now
Jacqui
UK - Wed Aug 8 11:12:41 2001
The Booby Exam: http://www.mercer.edu/shc/breast.htm
Lisa
- Wed Aug 8 09:56:39 2001
I can't believe u pissed in the bath? What are you? Weird! Are u worried you have green piss because of cancer? lol Poor Armpit, don't you have a woman?
Lisa
- Wed Aug 8 09:53:59 2001
Armpit, I'm gonna fix you up with Gail. You and her. YEAH.
craig
- Wed Aug 8 02:09:09 2001
Blimey! Your lovely bathtime story just gave me a real deja-vu moment. A proper deja-vu, like when you empty the bins in a different way, but it's all strangely familiar.
ARMPIT
Wales - Tue Aug 7 23:54:16 2001
Talking about sex is fun if you think you're going to get some, otherwise you just get all hot and bothered and frustrated and angry. Which is probably something to do with why that woman buried her husband in the bush.
ARMPIT
Wales - Tue Aug 7 22:09:25 2001
Thats no fun sex is!
Jacqui
UK - Tue Aug 7 22:04:13 2001
Arses can be hairy
sherriff woody
England - Tue Aug 7 21:44:53 2001
hey hey hey heeeyy stop this girlie gossiping. Lets talk um... conspiracy theorys. Like this australian murder/kidnap thing. Yeah.
craig
- Tue Aug 7 18:55:32 2001
Its very complicated, its got to do with the size/shape of my arse and the loud comment about something being as big as a horses.... Not that I would know. Then there was the whole carrot situation. It all got out of control.
Lisa
- Mon Aug 6 16:53:36 2001
What made him think of horses whilst with you I wander???
Jacqui
UK - Mon Aug 6 16:24:11 2001
Craig thinks that horses don't have any teeth, because they don't eat meat......
Lisa
- Mon Aug 6 13:46:40 2001
God and I thought I was bad having one. At least I know I'm not alone!!
Jacqui
UK - Sun Aug 5 21:46:48 2001
Accept the consequences of your actions!
Lisa
- Sat Aug 4 21:17:23 2001
I get the blame for everything.
craigixy
- Sat Aug 4 21:05:48 2001
Yeah, naughty Craig! It won't go away. Its gonna scar, a hicky scar.
Lisa
- Sat Aug 4 21:04:59 2001
Happy belated birthday Lisa! I like my men chunky!!! Mmmmmm! Also I heard the same rumors about toothpaste but apparently you are meant to put it on asap! Craig been biting again he's a terror for that!
Jacqui
UK - Sat Aug 4 20:54:30 2001
Wait a minute lisa, why are you not on ICQ? HANG ON! I'm NOT on ICQ! oops!
craig
- Sat Aug 4 20:15:07 2001
And why do big-busted blonds always complain about unwanted attention, when us flat chested brunettes would be flattered in the same situation!? lol
Lisa
- Sat Aug 4 20:05:48 2001
Just bought the Renaissance Ibiza album..... Very good!!! Go out and buy it! Why do blokes like big boobs????? I went out last night with a very low cut top on and found a variety of different blokes lost down my cleavage! Why?
theblondehotstuff
leics - Sat Aug 4 18:19:36 2001
I like big.
Lisa
- Sat Aug 4 17:17:22 2001
Sorry I missed your Birthday yesterday Lisa. I was busy - I know it's not an excuse, but I'll try and make it up to you :P
BattleM@n
UK - Sat Aug 4 01:58:39 2001
Sort of all over really.
ARMPIT
Wales - Sat Aug 4 00:16:32 2001
I am very particular about which part of my submissive man is big....... What do you refer to exactly?
Lisa
- Fri Aug 3 23:57:52 2001
I see that you once required a large submissive male. How do you mean "big"? (I'm big).

I also have Marmite!
ARM' Big Boy'PIT
Wales - Fri Aug 3 23:28:09 2001
Happy Birthday Lovely Lisa. What would you like as a special present?
ARMPIT
Wales - Fri Aug 3 23:18:41 2001
Yes that is how you spell Hasselhoff. I know 'cos I've got a load of his CD's... should I REALLY be telling you this?
plant
uk - Fri Aug 3 20:32:01 2001
Its my Birthday. I am 22, and feeling so old! Question: Is there a cure for love bites? Not that I have one, but I heard a rumour that toothpaste makes them shrink..... I think this is a rural myth.
Lisa
- Fri Aug 3 19:14:13 2001
It's very true - start planning your mini-holiday now. They're on June 3rd and 4th.
green fairy dot com
- Fri Aug 3 15:24:29 2001
Its about time england got a few more since the rest if the UK and even europe have loads more than us.
craig
- Fri Aug 3 02:01:25 2001
Two new Bank Holidays! Is this for real? What month does the Jubilee thing fall in then?
plant
uk - Fri Aug 3 00:38:51 2001
Yeah... i have them, send me an email. benny@crrr.com
benny
uk - Fri Aug 3 00:03:55 2001
any 1 know where on the net r the pictures of the JAMIE BULGER KILLERS in the UK ..... any info would be gr8 ..... thanks in advance
Left
uk - Thu Aug 2 23:26:09 2001
Also this blonde girl who are you and if you interested i will be being loud and drunk in Wolverhampton tonight i do it with some style as well no half messures from me
a doctor
W/A - Thu Aug 2 19:48:45 2001
lets hope the oldie keeps going till the following wednesday then if we're lucky and theres another crash of somthing we could end up havin an entire week off .God bless the Queen mam
country boy
W/A - Thu Aug 2 19:45:35 2001
Great site, not as great as www.cockboy.co.uk thou!
Jason
UK - Thu Aug 2 19:00:29 2001
We have no less than two new bank holidays next year in the Golden Jubilee month, one Monday and one Tuesday.
green fairy dot com
- Thu Aug 2 18:33:50 2001
I think we're missing the most important thing about if the Queen Mother snuffs it... Will we all get time off work for a 'national mourn'. And while I'm on the subject, do I remember right or did everything stop for a day in '77 for the Silver Jubilee, 'cos surely it'll be the Golden one next year? Shit! The royals have a use after all!!
plant
uk - Thu Aug 2 00:09:45 2001
Found myself getting into Big Brother a lot more than I thought I would (didn't give two shits about the first series at all) and I'll even admit to hoping it all works out for Helen and Paul. But I do think they probably ought to be sterilised.
boki
- Wed Aug 1 20:46:30 2001
God you really are blond there is nothing to think they are!!!
Jacqui
UK - Wed Aug 1 12:16:57 2001
I don't look at any blokes in clubs they're all out for one thing and thats not for me at the mo! Do you think BigBrothers Paul and Helen will get together? ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhh mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy gggggggooooooooooodddddddddddddd !! I think so!
theblondehotstuff
leics - Wed Aug 1 09:30:29 2001
i've noticed that about some women too, pick up the wrong kind of men over and over again. The loud fuckwits who drunkenly chat them up in clubs. Duh. Like good catch. BUT THEN i see some mighty offensive womens faces when I drive through the ghetto (since i live in the ghetto i have to) so offensive i have to look away. Am I the only one who finds certain peoples faces deeply offensive?
craig
- Wed Aug 1 05:13:28 2001
Oh look, the internet is still here at 1.15am, and I thought that a virus was gonna destroy the Earth for real this time ;) SHOCK EXCLUSIVE FROM THE DAILY MAIL - Jailed child sex offenders are now chucking away their kiddie porn videos and are watching Brass Eye instead. D'uh, isn't that meant to be a good thing? Hot blonde - I'll tell you the answer to your question if you can tell me why women always complain about getting bastard boyfriends when they always go after them in clubs?
BattleM@n
UK - Wed Aug 1 01:18:03 2001
Bacause he obviously only said it to get in your pants! You have to be well lucky (like me) to find a bloke who's says it and stays even if you say no to sex (not that i have yet)!
Jacqui
Uk - Tue Jul 31 22:45:06 2001
Well, if your blonde your obviously a beauty, so i love you and i won't run anywhere my darling...
mat
bristol - Tue Jul 31 16:24:02 2001
Will the internet be wiped out by 'the worm' tonite at 1am? Cool
Lisa
- Tue Jul 31 15:48:35 2001
Yeah Jacqui, thats what happened to me last nite. Weird isn't it.
Lisa
- Tue Jul 31 14:09:28 2001
AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
the sheepish one
mars - Tue Jul 31 11:43:48 2001
Why do blokes tell you they love you and then run miles in the opposite direction to you? Come on men out there, give me some feed back as to what goes on in those dirty little minds of yours!
theblondehotstuff
leics - Tue Jul 31 10:19:38 2001
HELLO IM IN A TIGHT MOOD I JUST DOWNLOADED CASPER SNES FOR THE COMPUTER AND I REALLY NEEED SOME HELP COULD SOME ONE OUT THER HELP MY ADDRESS IS SHISHAWNA@HOTMAIL.COM BUT THAT IS shishawna@hotmail.com SMALL CAPS NNNNNOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGEEEEEE
shishawna
canada - Tue Jul 31 05:20:10 2001
hello i just downloaded the snes of casper for the computer and well i need help any one help
shishawna
canada - Tue Jul 31 05:16:59 2001
I quite often wake up with a huge dildo up my arse shouting Craig's name god know's why!!!
Jacqui
Uk - Mon Jul 30 19:20:33 2001
I like Brass Eye, but dislike Seinfeld - am I a dirty pervert?
BattleM@n
UK - Mon Jul 30 18:52:03 2001
bastard
craig
work damn it - Mon Jul 30 17:44:45 2001
Back to normal.

lalalaa - Mon Jul 30 17:43:38 2001
Lisa from on Mon Jul 30 17:40:13 2001 said:
Thats crap

- Mon Jul 30 17:40:13 2001
craigixo from his bedroom on Mon Jul 30 17:37:36 2001 said:
i was almost killed by a jaguar

his bedroom - Mon Jul 30 17:37:36 2001
craig Mon Jul 30 17:34:43 2001
This is a test.

england - Mon Jul 30 17:34:43 2001
Ha. I beat you to it by 8 seconds.
Lisa
- Mon Jul 30 17:09:11 2001
And the date is...
craig
- Mon Jul 30 17:06:08 2001
OK. Granted..... but would spoil the fun abit by spending time to prepare the plastic sheeting. Sterile. What happens if you get 'caught up in the moment?'
Lisa
- Mon Jul 30 17:06:00 2001
Piss sex?
craig
-
But what would the plastic sheeting be for?
Lisa
-
Maybe I am making assumptions about you because you are from Wales......
Lisa
-
No! You have a dirty mind!
ARMPIT
Wales -
OK, granted, you might not have a selection of fruit and veg immediately to hand when sleeping. So, not very dirty.... So you have never woken up dressed in leather and trying to shag your favorite soft chair?
Lisa
-
I'll talk, vile temptress. I find doing something really dirty requires rather a lot of preparation work (plastic sheeting, courgettes etc.), not the sort of thing you can do in your sleep.
ARMPIT
Wales -
I am sooo bored. Why isn't anyone talking today?? Craig, why don't you set up a land line and buy a big red telephone (like batman). The Craig Emergency Hotline. It could flash when it rings..... cool. Or just set up a big giant spot light that can shine 'Craig' onto the clouds. You could then wear your underpants outside your trousers, speed out in you craig-car and deliver your 'goods' to the people in need. On another note, has anyone woken up in the middle of the night and found yourself doing something really dirty to yourself, or possibly, the person or creature you're with? Not that I did, oh no, I would never do anything like that..... ;-) hehehehe
Lisa
-
PS Your date thingy is broken here too..... lol
Lisa
-
Is that it? I've been anticipating you being on a new server for ages... bit of an anticlimax Craig. As usual..... ;-)
Lisa
-
Were on the new server! can you even tell? Excellent.
CRAAIIGGGG
UKLINUX BABY! -
Is my domain ever going to bloody move to the new server. wait wait wait wait wait wait.
craig
- Saturday, July 28, 2001 at 17:36:40 (BST)
That 'weeeeeeee' thing was soooo funny! One of the best flash videos I've seen in a long time - quick to download too. Currently I am having major Big Brother withdrawals. Damn it - I knew I shouldn't have watched that pile of old pants again! Damn you John DeMol - Damn you to hell! Doesn't XiWave look like the best compression thing since DivX. I hope that it's a little faster too. For more Flash based fun, take a look at: http://www.stileproject.com/kungfu.html - it takes a while to do but is perfectly 'Chan' esque!
BattleM@n
UK - Saturday, July 28, 2001 at 00:45:10 (BST)
In what sense? I am really 'hungry'. But what do I mean?
Lisa
- Friday, July 27, 2001 at 17:14:10 (BST)
I'm really hot, but in a diffrent sence.
craig
- Friday, July 27, 2001 at 16:57:50 (BST)
I still get cut off Freeserve every 2 hours!!!! On another note I'm just horny can I just have some sex!!! Ohhh and BTW have you ever seen those love machines when you put your hand on it and it tells you what you are well I did it yesterday and it said that I was a nymphomaniac!! Me never!! Damn it I'm addicted gonna need some help here me thinks!!!
Jacqui
UK - Friday, July 27, 2001 at 10:07:26 (BST)
PS Freeserve still claim to have a 2hour cutoff limit to prevent continuous use. Maybe you are being charged 50p/min or some bizarre technicality........ hahahhahah
Lisa
- Thursday, July 26, 2001 at 14:47:17 (BST)
Can I just have some pie because I am hungry? Who can give me pie?
Lisa
- Thursday, July 26, 2001 at 13:10:29 (BST)
If we are leaving Craig out from now on I'll have Charlotte and Lisa you can have Grail ;o)
Jacqui
UK - Thursday, July 26, 2001 at 12:16:15 (BST)
Dildo - Possibly from the Italian "diletto" or delight, or from "dally," as in something to be played with. Or not. It could be just a totally random made up word. Did u know that Shakespeare was the first person to use the phrase 'to cum'? Cool.
Lisa
Oz - Thursday, July 26, 2001 at 11:04:59 (BST)
Well, coolbabe, we all get together and have orgys in unsuspecting rural villages in the english country side.
craig
- Thursday, July 26, 2001 at 01:11:18 (BST)
eh? what do you call those tiny little onions? charlottes? or is it spelled different?
GRAIL
- Thursday, July 26, 2001 at 00:15:12 (BST)
Oh Craig, how could you poke fun so mercilessly at one of my webcam pics? *sniffle*
green fairy dot com
- Wednesday, July 25, 2001 at 19:57:11 (BST)
hello i am new can any one tell me what goes on
coolbabe
norwich - Wednesday, July 25, 2001 at 19:41:40 (BST)
You couldn't handle us, I think we'll just have to leave you out of our fun.
Lisa
- Wednesday, July 25, 2001 at 17:06:22 (BST)
Yep, lisa, jacqui, charlotte and gail.
craig
- Wednesday, July 25, 2001 at 16:09:21 (BST)
Jaqui - I thought he was doing it with you and not Gail....???? Craig, are you getting any sex from anyone?
Lisa
- Wednesday, July 25, 2001 at 09:45:17 (BST)
Ohh yeah craig wait till charloote finds out you have been cheating on her with Grail!!
Jacqui
UK - Tuesday, July 24, 2001 at 21:53:16 (BST)
No Gail, where are YOU. Shagging I'd bet. And the GBA exchangers, yes i belive it does work like that, i'll do you a good deal if you email me and beg for a discount.
craig
- Tuesday, July 24, 2001 at 20:07:30 (BST)
Crrrraig.... when you next in town? Crrraig man, where are you???
GRAIL
- Tuesday, July 24, 2001 at 20:00:33 (BST)
i hate marmite yuck but i also hate Royalty hello everyone, i'm back for a week for my 21st yay
marsiansheep
mars (of course) - Tuesday, July 24, 2001 at 16:37:03 (BST)
Craig, about that flash cart for the GBA. Right, so lets say I copy F-Zero to the cart, play some races, store records. Can I dump the rom (complete with records) back to the HD so I can play another time? I've got an obsession with keeping racing records :-)
JamesBurton
Scotland - Monday, July 23, 2001 at 23:12:33 (BST)
Yes I did Craig as you well know you sex fiend you ;o)
Jacqui
UK - Monday, July 23, 2001 at 12:00:37 (BST)
Arr yes. That's the one. Should see it. Good film. Mind you if it was *that* good you think I'd remember the name :-D What's the most depressing film people here have seen?
JamesBurton
Scotland - Sunday, July 22, 2001 at 20:52:53 (BST)
lord of the flies. I've not seen it though.
crraiigig
- Sunday, July 22, 2001 at 20:44:24 (BST)
What was the name of that film where the fat kid gets crushed by a falling rock on an island. The sodding name escapes me.
JamesBurton
Scotland - Sunday, July 22, 2001 at 20:23:56 (BST)
Got sex then did you? ;)
craig
- Sunday, July 22, 2001 at 16:56:28 (BST)
Just thought I'd say a happy hello to everyone seeing as I'm in such a good mood today so hello :o)
Jacqui
UK - Sunday, July 22, 2001 at 16:02:10 (BST)
Ahhh yes, Thumb Candy was repeated on E4 last night wasn't it! Yeah, it's very good - hallarious when Iain Lee tells the bloke that he's shit at his own game. Anyone watch 'Taxi' on Channel 4 on Friday? Bloody good French film.
BattleM@n
UK - Sunday, July 22, 2001 at 15:01:31 (BST)
A pensioner had to have a toothbrush surgically removed from his backside after he used it to scratch his piles. The 69-year-old - whose name is being kept quiet - had the brush removed by doctors in a hospital. The British Dental Association's Dr Jacinta Yeo told reporters: "This is a surprising use for a toothbrush and we would recommend that people use toothbrushes in the way they are intended."
green fairy dot com
- Sunday, July 22, 2001 at 14:25:35 (BST)
I missed that?! DAMN!! Did you tape it?!
JamesBurton
Scotland - Sunday, July 22, 2001 at 12:20:21 (BST)
Anyone see that programme on E4 last night about the history of videogames? It even had an interview with Matthew Smith...
plant
uk - Sunday, July 22, 2001 at 12:18:03 (BST)
Somebody say something :(
JamesBurton
Scotland - Sunday, July 22, 2001 at 06:43:23 (BST)
Twenty quid says May or June next year. YEH.
JamesBurton
Scotland - Saturday, July 21, 2001 at 22:53:30 (BST)
Someone give me odds on the Queen dying before her mum.
JamesBurton
Scotland - Saturday, July 21, 2001 at 22:10:51 (BST)
I say she dies on Christmas day. Or at the counting down to the new year. 3.2.1 croak. Now THAT would make interesting telly.
JamesBurton
Scotland - Saturday, July 21, 2001 at 22:03:32 (BST)
How about a Ton :) not backwards get it? etc. Think i'll run a queen mothers death date sweep stakes.
crrrrraaaaiiiigggg
- Saturday, July 21, 2001 at 22:01:31 (BST)
And of course heaven help us when the queen kicks the bucket. Tho I suppose if she lives as bloody long as her mother it won't be for a while. How long until she outdoes Queen Vics reign?
JamesBurton
Scotland - Saturday, July 21, 2001 at 21:58:51 (BST)
It'll be tragic when the Queen Mum dies. Because we'll be stuck with show upon show, talkshow upon talkshow, newspaper upon fucking newspaper, chock full of stories about her life. Queen Mum, the secrets revealed special edition DVD probably. The world will go mad for weeks on end. Like Diana only worse. Argh.
JamesBurton
Scotland - Saturday, July 21, 2001 at 21:47:45 (BST)
A girl who just got implants?
lilbit137
UK - Saturday, July 21, 2001 at 02:31:20 (BST)
Foward I am heavy, but backward I am not. What am I?
Lisa
- Saturday, July 21, 2001 at 01:24:21 (BST)
I still don't have the highspeed thing because i'm SO lazy, and i've had other things to do of late, you know how it is. And that picture below has kinda fuqqued up the html hasn't it. 2 adverts in 2 days. Not looking good.
craig
- Friday, July 20, 2001 at 15:08:36 (BST)
Howz the high speed from Telewest Craig?
lilbit137
UK - Friday, July 20, 2001 at 11:11:06 (BST)
Check out this wicked new Canadian Band... They have a sample mp3 you can listen to of their latest hit, 'Lazy'. and an AWESOME fucking site!! Just listen to the freaking song!
Im Not Frank
Canada - Friday, July 20, 2001 at 08:58:15 (BST)
How will I know its marmite and nothing more sinister? Anyway, marmite is very sticky, I'd get stuck to your arse....
Lisa
- Friday, July 20, 2001 at 00:44:21 (BST)
will you lick my arse if i smother it with marmite
a doctor
W/A - Friday, July 20, 2001 at 00:25:30 (BST)
I like marmite.........
Lisa
- Friday, July 20, 2001 at 00:08:44 (BST)
Yes. Marmite and jam are the most popular of baits. ;-)
ARMPIT
Wales - Thursday, July 19, 2001 at 23:32:52 (BST)
you could probably just get a dog to do that
cragie
- Thursday, July 19, 2001 at 23:24:22 (BST)
I would also consider keeping a camp straight man. As long as he would lick my arse regular.
ARMPIT
Wales - Thursday, July 19, 2001 at 21:29:07 (BST)
No, I'd consider keeping a camp straight man as my long-term personal house slave, providing he too agrees with domating money to pro-abortion charities. And of course you can have the pictures Cragie darling.
green fairy dot com
- Thursday, July 19, 2001 at 18:15:12 (BST)
I'd recommend reading the news here from a Chris Morris Fansite: http://chilled.cream.org/index.html - I suppose we'll see some form of the truth by next Thursday night :)
BattleM@n
UK - Thursday, July 19, 2001 at 17:32:24 (BST)
Archer has gone down, not for the first time I hear.....
Lisa
- Thursday, July 19, 2001 at 17:04:15 (BST)
The specialis about children so the man says. And as for Ross being a ccs i asked him WHY he wears those stoopid suits on the telly and he replied with "The BBC want to wear them and they pay me loads of money". I dunno about you lot but i'de wear wimmins knickers on TV if i got paid shed loads. And, yes, they did do 'birdhouse' and it was BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!
mat
bristol - Thursday, July 19, 2001 at 13:22:11 (BST)
The profalactic diminisher ( smaller than is reasonable )
mrdumbass
canada - Thursday, July 19, 2001 at 12:48:17 (BST)
Hi, I'm Jonathan Woss. I heah little Cwaig called me a cowpowate cock suckah? Well, Cwaigy boy, SWEW YOU!
Jonathan Woss
Wossy Towews - Thursday, July 19, 2001 at 12:00:27 (BST)
I should have really posted that on greens page i suppose.
craig
- Thursday, July 19, 2001 at 02:54:01 (BST)
Green (fairy that is), so are you saying you might accept considering the possiblility of maybe one day marrying one of those straight gay guys? Then if all goes well adopting a few kiddies? And incidently, I'll give you the scars your craving if I can put the pictures on here.
craig
- Thursday, July 19, 2001 at 02:52:41 (BST)
That corprate cock sucker johnathan ross?
craig
- Thursday, July 19, 2001 at 02:50:10 (BST)
and johnathan ross was the man we have to thank for the best night of our lives . For he like some sort of saviour gave us the backstage passes we needed. no-one can speak bad about that man
a doctor
from stafford - Thursday, July 19, 2001 at 01:33:21 (BST)
Can I just say a big "Sorry" about the colour of the last few postings I've made. I seem to be picking colours exactly the same as the previous posting - It's because I'm feeling shitty today (that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it).
BattleM@n
UK - Wednesday, July 18, 2001 at 19:36:50 (BST)
So what's the gossip on the Brass Eye Special then?
plant
uk - Wednesday, July 18, 2001 at 19:34:26 (BST)
Queen Mum will indeed die on November 15th ... IN THE YEAR 3049!!!!!!!!!!!! She's like the bionic woman now!
BattleM@n
UK - Wednesday, July 18, 2001 at 19:27:39 (BST)
Did they play littlebird house in your soul???? My fav song of all time!
Jacqui
UK - Wednesday, July 18, 2001 at 18:29:42 (BST)
Just thought i would tell everyone of my excellent recent experience of going backstage at the They Might Be Giants gig and meeting (and chatting to) the mighty CHRIS MORRIS!!! HE's a real cool person...the 2 Johns of TMBG are cool too). Well, there you go...
mat
bristol - Wednesday, July 18, 2001 at 12:49:19 (BST)
Place your bets. Whens the queen mother going to die?

I say November 15th.
craig
- Wednesday, July 18, 2001 at 02:42:35 (BST)
Ohh and no probs b@ttleman :o)
Jacqui
UK - Tuesday, July 17, 2001 at 19:59:59 (BST)
Whats wrong with that pic. Have you never played with choclate spread before!
Jacqui
UK - Tuesday, July 17, 2001 at 19:56:36 (BST)
Christ! I must now and go wash my eyes out with hydrochloric acid!
BattleM@n
UK - Tuesday, July 17, 2001 at 17:34:15 (BST)
If your really interested in rimming (licking), anal etc. check out http://www.livejournal.com/users/analsex/
craig
- Tuesday, July 17, 2001 at 17:03:24 (BST)
The girls are off wanking too, they just aren't licking arses while they do it......
Lisa M
- Tuesday, July 17, 2001 at 16:15:06 (BST)
I notice only the girls are shocked. guys are off wanking. arrrr it can't be real.
craig
- Tuesday, July 17, 2001 at 15:32:34 (BST)
That is so horrible. Thanks, I feel sick.
Lisa M
- Tuesday, July 17, 2001 at 11:38:56 (BST)
AAAAHHHHHH MANNNNNNNN.... MY EYES!
GRAIL
- Tuesday, July 17, 2001 at 03:47:40 (BST)
no new pics? here craig dare u to post this http://www.terra.es/personal6/ero4all/images/poep005.jpg :)
sick bastard
- Tuesday, July 17, 2001 at 03:07:19 (BST)
i like to be pleasing the girl, you know? ;p
craig
- Tuesday, July 17, 2001 at 01:18:28 (BST)
Not sure I really want to ask this, but what exactly do you mean by 'In my experience...'
plant
uk - Monday, July 16, 2001 at 23:41:45 (BST)
In my experiance girls like having it done to them. Doubt any will admit it though.
craig
- Monday, July 16, 2001 at 21:59:27 (BST)
All men like it because men like anything that is perverted and doesn't involve pain. But what about girls? Is it something you just put up with (or not), or do you get pleasure from it? Can we have a vote?
ARMPIT
Wales - Monday, July 16, 2001 at 21:56:18 (BST)
Its pretty busy in here today.
craig
- Monday, July 16, 2001 at 18:20:53 (BST)
.....like dogs.......
Lisa M
- Monday, July 16, 2001 at 16:27:21 (BST)
George?
Lisa
England - Monday, July 16, 2001 at 16:23:58 (BST)
Err, lovely.
Lisa M
- Monday, July 16, 2001 at 16:17:00 (BST)
Err yeah everyone likes having their arse licked if they can get their partner to do it. Just not many people are likely to own upto it :D
craig
- Monday, July 16, 2001 at 15:07:38 (BST)
Blimey! I'll look forward to it's arrival.
ARMPIT
Wales - Monday, July 16, 2001 at 14:44:23 (BST)
Damm! I'll email the Kingsize Mars bar to you ASAP. I like Kingsize.
Lisa M
- Monday, July 16, 2001 at 14:35:20 (BST)
Do you girls enjoy receiving analingus?
ARMPIT
Wales - Monday, July 16, 2001 at 14:28:52 (BST)
Sorry Jacqui - I didn't know (honest!). Widescreen sucks big-time...Just a way of electronics industry types making us buy new TVs claiming that it allows us to watch movies as they were meant to be seen at the box-office. Yeah, in that often used ratio of 16:9 (LOL).
BattleM@n
UK - Monday, July 16, 2001 at 14:23:10 (BST)
You are an Eight Ball... and make it a kingsize Mars Bar.
plant
uk - Monday, July 16, 2001 at 14:14:50 (BST)
OK, this is a hard one!!!! Whoever gets this one gets a Mars bar...... Shoot at me a thousand times and I may still survive; one scratch from me and you will find your prospects take a dive. What am I?
Lisa M
- Monday, July 16, 2001 at 13:06:35 (BST)
THe Playstation is 32 bit!!
Jacqui
UK - Monday, July 16, 2001 at 11:27:49 (BST)
http://pub1.ezboard.com/fsupermancinemadiscussionnonsupermanforum.showMessage?topicID=1910.topic

Pan and scan discussion
Russ
UK - Monday, July 16, 2001 at 05:17:15 (BST)
Widescreen is the ONLY way to watch films. Not only do you get the whole picture, but when the TV companies do the "pan and scan" they fuck up the focus too. it's NOT how the director intends the film to be shown. Widescreen TVs are a waste of cash however as they just distort the screen (as mark says). The black and white bars mean nothing. You get the WHOLE picture so stop fucking complaining!
Righto: Empire Strikes Back is the far superior Star wars film. But I have heard major stuff about ep2. In Ep 1 EVERYONE was just pawns. Sidious will now start to form his empire. Jar jar actually grows up and becomes a senator!
i ain't revealing anything else. But it looks to be a very dark film.
Finally. Can someone please tell me is a playstation 32 bit or 64 bit? I think 32 but some friends think 64. I don't know for sure though.
Russ
UK - Monday, July 16, 2001 at 05:09:24 (BST)
You mean you lose the left and right of the screen... Loads of things are broadcast in widescreen nowadays, so I tend to have my Sky Digibox set to show it as tranmitted. Fair enough, it puts a big black band at the top and bottom on widescreen transmissions, but it does mean I can see everything going on. I could go on about a scene in Star Wars that highlights this perfectly... but I think shutting up is the less geeky option.
plant
uk - Monday, July 16, 2001 at 01:14:43 (BST)

NEXT PAGE ->